Back to Black
by Vamp-by-Night
Summary: Sequel to "Vampire and the Socialite". Heartbreak of NewMoon proportions thrusts Blair back into her elite word of scandals, drugs, and of course Gossip Girl. Reckless? What’s a heartbroken girl to do in NYC? Especially with the big bad Chuck around...
1. Postcard From the Edge

**Summary: Sequel to **_**The Vampire and the Socialite.**_** Now that B has resigned herself to "middle class hell" to be with Edward, what now? A tragic accident thrusts Blair back into her world; the world of the elite, scandals, drugs, and of course Gossip Girl. What's a heartbroken girl to do in NYC? Especially with the big bad Chuck Bass around. Careful, B. Not **_**all**_** wolves are the literal kind. Best described as: The rebellious lovechild of New Moon and Sex and the City. **

**Rated M: for sexual content, drug use, and minor violence. **

**Media: There's an awesome playlist and posters for this. Links on my profile. **

Prologue:

Dear Edward

I'd like to preface this e-mail by informing you that I'm writing this very much under the influence of various substances and my friends. They inform me that drunkenly telling you off is a right I now hold. Also, apparently I complain about you. A lot. But don't allow yourself to be flattered. I know there's no way you'll read this. If I thought you would I certainly wouldn't send it. But if you do, I still hate you. Just putting it out there.

I don't know what I'm supposed to write. I have nothing to say to you. Literally nothing. You're gone and I can't blame you. I know now that I'm unlovable beyond repair. You don't want me and I hate you with the fire of a thousand suns. So I guess it's a good deal. Hating you gets me through the day when I'm not doing other things to fill my time. But your ghost still haunts my every move.

No. I'm not being poetic. I would never use such a trite line. I mean your ghost; the hazy, floating, even more judgmental version of you that stalks my every move. There's a good chance that you think I'm crazy right now. So let me rewind. Since you left your ghost- you know, like Casper- won't stop judging me. Figment of my mind or not, it's very real and it's you and quite frankly I'd like it to stop. You're ghost is even more overprotective than you ever were. It yells at me while I smoke. It tries to tell me not to take prescriptive drugs. Judges me while I drink. And… yesterday it even told me not get the Baconator from Wendy's. Obviously I would never go to such a plebian place but it was late and I had the munchies and even Wendy's seems less common when you're in limo filled champagne and models on a binge. I digress. Essentially, I hate you _and_ your stupid ghost. You promised me it would be as if you never existed. I don't recall having a ghost with judgy honey eyes following me around before I met you.

Ghost aside I want to reiterate the fact that I loath you. I hope your life is miserable and pointless without me. My life is _en rose_. I want you to know that I'm having a fabulous time without you. You once said you thought it was important for me to experience a human life. Well for the first ever I'm doing just that- being alive. I've spent my life as the, and I quote Dan, "soulless living doll". Now, I do whatever and whomever I please. Shall I tell how awkward it was making love to a British lord or the French _viscount _with your ghost in the room? Very much so. I cannot stress how much I abhor your ghost… and you. Always you. Oh and there were the affairs with the Saudi oil tycoon's son, the married broker, the Lacrosse team, the…oh I'm sorry. I do seem to remember you having a possessive streak…The Italian artist, the lead singer of Cobra Starship... Where was I? Oh yes- They're calling me the new Serena around here which amuses me since apparently I've become a bad influence on _her- _Which has dubbed me the fine title of, "Serena _noir"._ I am having what people call a downward spiral. I call it fun.

In sum, I hope this e-mail is more coherent than a drunken dial. I hope wherever you are is dark and your nights are filled with the thoughts of a thousand suicidal people. I'm smiling now. I'm vein enough to know that although you never loved me I'm anything but forgettable. Good luck trying to forget me with that photographic memory of yours. I hope it gives you hell. I never think of you. I'm lying and apparently currently telling that I'm lying with no plans of deleting that fact. Maybe it's because I know if you were here right now you'd easily read my mind and know the truth. The truth is that I'm so glad I can hate you so arduously. If I didn't have my overwhelming hatred for you I honestly don't know how I would've survived those first months after you left. It keeps me alive today. It keeps me moving, living, trying to prove to you- to everyone- that I am someone worth loving. I won't sit around crying over you. I won't be still. I won't let myself come down from this high to mourn us…

Well I must go. I'm going off to do something reckless.

-Blair Cornelia Waldorf.


	2. Labels of Love

**AN: I hate writing beginnings. Anyone else with me? All that necessary exposition to get out of the way. It's the journey that I love. Sorry it took me SOOO long to post this. But the updates will be rolling on the ball granted the Holidays allow me time to post. I enjoyed all your reviews on the prologue. I'm so stoked you guys are loving where this is going. And no I don't mean to be a tease. Trust me. When there are lemons to be had I put them out there. No coyness here. I'll explain later. **

**Thanks again supporters. And please REVIEW. I always get back to you or answer any questions. **

**Thanks **_**Ladyyemerald**_**. I actually had a lot of those songs in mind. Good ear. **

**Mood music: (Playlist link on profile)**

**Labels of Love- Fergie**

**Short Skirt, Long Jacket- Cake (this song is SO about Blair)**

Gossip Girl Here

Summer love has come and gone. Anyone care for a recap? Well our favorite Upper East Siders spent their summer months tanning at the Hamptons. We've seen our favorite miss-matched couple, D and S call it quits while N…well… rumor has it he stayed in and played _The Graduate._ And where was our little Queen B? Apparently playing house with EC. Yawn. With a very brief stint in Lyon, France. Gotta love those custody agreements.

Now fall's here and it's the season of my two favorite things; Labels and love. New year, new seniors and hopefully some new juicy gossip. Rumor has it that the Bass isn't swimming like it used to. Lost your taste for man-whoring C? Or could a certain B be the cause of your..em…troubles? And S and D spent this evening stuck on each other's elevator. Literally. Aww this fall is starting off so promisingly. If only queen B would come out to play.

Till next time

XoXo

GG

Amidst the bustling hallway Edward stood in front of his locker rifling in search of his AP Physics assignment. His locker had become a giant overcrowded metaphor for his life. Although it was only the 2nd week of his umpteenth stint in senior high it was literally overflowing with Blair's things. He caught a random heel as it flew from the locker in one hand and a renegade tampon in the other just as three boys wearing football jackets sauntered by. The trio snickered. Edward sighed as he stuffed the objects back into the abyss then resumed his search. How and why these things made it to his locker was beyond his realm of reasoning.

The familiar sounds of heels clicking against the linoleum floor caught his ears. His eyes drifted up to the sight of Blair looking unreasonably fetching in her little white knee highs, black shorts, and soft black leather jacket. She wore a frilly white shirt underneath and paired it with a dangling pearl necklace. Her lips were blood stained red against her porcelain making her ever the perfect model of innocence and sweetness. But there was the slightest smirk to her pout letting Edward know that she was about to make his life interesting.

She stopped in front of him and smirked. "Looking for this." She reaching into her designer bag and produced several sheets of paper. He didn't ask questions. Only nodded and retrieved them from her hand.

"Blair why do you need two lockers? Better yet, why is my locker being used as your closet?"

"Edward I've just been in the guidance councilor's office," she said as if he hadn't spoken. "And guess who has the 2nd highest GPA of our class? Me. Meaning someone else is likely poised to take valedictorian this year making my application to Yale less important. And do you who that someone is?"

Edward found himself watching her lips with newfound fascination. "Okay. So you want me to back off a little this year. That's fine." He shrugged.

He felt her dark eyes search his. His eyes were locked on her lips. An eyebrow rose subtly. "Darling your condescendence is _so _generous."

"Blair…"

"No, Edward I don't want you to back off. In fact keep overachieving as you always do because I enjoy a challenge." His eyes searched hers for the sting. Her lips stretched into a wide smile. "But just so you know you better watch yourself because being my boyfriend doesn't excuse you from my scheme radar." His jaw nearly slackened. Seeing him stunned, she went up on her heels to kiss the corner of his lips before flitting off. He reached out and grabbed her wrist, reeling her back in.

She arched her brow up at him warily. He circled his thumb around her inner wrist. "Blair…"

"Edward I have no time for this. I have a college to get into, a certain vampire boyfriend to take down, and school to dominate," she huffed. "And what is the deal with your hair today."

The corner mouth curled into a smirk but he said nothing. Ever the gentlemen he watched her cheeks redden in amused silence.

The moment her front door swung open this morning Edward's mouth had been on hers. Her back knocked firmly against the wall of her living room. His hands rummaged under her leather jacket. She whimpered when his lips slipped down from hers to her neck, squirming as his lips ghosted over her sensitive skin. He stilled her with his firm grip, trailing his mouth along her collar bone. Her fingers found release in tangling themselves in his bronze curls. "Re-aclimating," he had said, pulling away from her abruptly and pulling her open mouthed through the front door.

The memory dissipated from her mind. She shook it off and steeled herself. Fixing him with a stern glare. "Well then…"

Something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. Just down the hall from her was Angela, her most trusted and faithful vassal, speaking to none other than her recent sworn enemy, Ashley Zeller. As usual, Ashley and her tittering posy were wearing their scant cheerleading uniform, surrounded by an ever-present gaggle of football players.

She suppressed a low growl. Ever since fall semester started Forks high had been reverting back to its pre-Blair days. This had little to do with Blair and more to do with several factors. Firstly, Rosalie Hale had graduated. Without her unattainable beauty lording over them, the downtrodden self esteems of teenage girls were finally able to nurse themselves and egos were now abound. And it was fall which meant it was also football season which meant the normal high social structure was back in full effect. The school that had once been dominated by Blair and plaid skirts was now under the control of jocks in football jackets and girls who seemed to never wear anything other than their cheerleading uniforms. Blair's reign as Queen B was being challenged by the normal social structure of Middle Class High school and she did not appreciate this fact.

She stormed over to Angela, ignoring her friend and pointing her glare towards the cheerleader who gave a smug grin.

"What are you doing?" Blair demanded.

Ashley smirked and examined her blonde hair in her fingers coyly. "Your friend expressed her interest in joining the cheerleading squad, Blair and we're very pleased to oblige her."

"Ugh" Blair rolled her eyes at her attempt to emulate her own cultured vernacular.

The two jocks around them inched closer exchanging pointed looks. One particularly burly one snaked his arm possessively around the blonde while the other crossed his arms mockingly. Blair rolled her eyes and ignored the testosterone fest.

"I-um just wanted to…" Angela began to defend herself.

"Angela. Cheerleading, really?" Blair cocked her head and made a face, angling her body so that is was facing Angela.

Ashley huffed. "Maybe she just wants to get in with the real popular crowd."

"I see" Blair ignored the smirking blonde. "Defecting from the preps to join the…what do you middle class kids call them, jocks and cheer-skanks? I'm shocked. I mean, if you want to wear skirts that short I cannot judge you. But at least have the decency to pair them with leggings, duh." Blair huffed dramatically. "Angela you're a smart independent woman…or at least you could be. And you're too smart to be degrading yourself for a shot of giving the quarterback a BJ at some tacky teen mixer or whatever you third rate teens do."

Angela's eyes widened. The two football players and Ashley snickered. Edward was glancing into his locker with newfound interest. A slow creeping smirk crept at his profile.

"Angela if you're going to get drunk and have regretful sex then at least have it with the Ivy league bound or the trust fund boys. I mean, have I taught you nothing?." She threw her hands up dramatically.

Angela face lit up like Christmas tree. "I mean. If you wanna play Bring it On with the 'cool kids' be my guest. But just so you know, _my _friends would never be seen with such a trite bunch and so I'm sorry Angela but I'm revoking your pearl privileges." She held out her hand expectantly. Angela's hand automatically went to her genuine pearl necklace, a gift from B herself, protectively. Blair smirked. "Fine. I'll let you think it over."

"Whatever it's not like she was cool enough to be one of us anyway," a nameless cheerleader scoffed. Blair turned slowly to the blonde and looked her over slowly, from her scant cheerleading uniform to her cheap out-of-the-box lowlights. "Cute." The brunette huffed. "Listen Buffy, I'm queen B at this school. Get over it. I know you and your little pedestrian friends have your own 'cool code' but stop trying to usurp my power around here. We all know no one here can out-Bitch me so don't even try. Cheer skanks and jocks aren't usually in my paradigm…unless they go after something that's mine. And I know you've all read enough about me to know I'm very possessive of what's mine." She flashed the group an evil smile and sauntered off to her class. "Coming Angela," she called backwardly and the faithful girl went rushing after her.

Edward stared after her sauntering to her next class, her hips swaying softly with ever step. He was still staring after her in some sort of haze when time seemed to still. She turned her head every so lightly back to his direction. Her hair seemed to fall like cascading water along her shoulders as she craned her neck around granting him access to the profile of long lashes and pouty lips. A dimple punctured her cheek. She turned the corner and disappeared. Shaking his head, he shut his locker and stole off to class.

Seven months of dating and Blair still managed to surprise him with her ire and manipulative skill. He loved her dearly. His life centered completely on her and yet even he had to admit that Blair Waldorf was rotten to her core. It unsettled him and amused him all at once how truly diabolical the innocent looking socialite was. And God help him he loved her for it. He was making great strides to be good enough for the both of them.

X

Later that day Blair and Edward were "studying" up in her room. She was lying across the bed on her stomach, her hair framing her shoulders and spilling into the book she was examining. Edward was sitting at her computer chair with a book in his hand that might as well have been upside down.

She allowed her eyes to waver up from her book, attempting to sneak at Edward only to meet his golden eyes. Her eyebrow cocked. He gave an embarrassed smirk and pretended to study his book. "You know you don't have to do this. You clearly have nothing to study" Blair broke the playful silence.

Edward set his book aside. His eyebrow shot up challengingly. "Is this your round-about way of saying you're tired of me?" His voice was light and mirthful.

She smirked, this morning's faded lipstick leaving a faint touch of rouge to her pouty lips. Tired of Edward Cullen, now there's a laugh. But of course she did not say that. "Yep. I can't stand the sight of you."

He shrugged and took a scholarly tone. "It's perfectly normal for me to me to be trialing you like a lost puppy, I assure you. Trust me, I'm not that pathetic in real life."

Blair's chiming laugh rang through the room. "Oh really. You're not?"

Edward shook his head and smirked. "At least I have vampirism as my excuse."

"What!" She was suddenly straddling the bed on her knees and eyeing him with a guarded stance. "I do _not_ trail you like a lost puppy!"

He looked down at the book, grinning.

Okay. She admittedly did have a distinct memory of trailing him out into the school parking lot and practically begging him to talk to her.

"Okay that was maybe two or three times at most." He could hear her pouting. But he was not thinking of that particular moment. He was thinking of last night when he left her side to feed and she practically had him call her every five minutes for a full blow by blow lest he actually be away from her without her knowing what he was doing.

"Hey at least I have an excuse is all I'm saying," he quipped in a goading tone.

"And what's that supposed to mean." She plopped back down onto the bed loudly so that she was in a sitting position with her feet flat on the ground. He angled the chair so that they were facing each other, and pulled it into her so that their legs were touching.

"That means," He leaned into her and cupped her cheek, "That I- vampires in general- feel a very powerfully connection to their mates. We get a little…anxious when we're away from them."

Her cheek warmed his hand and her pouty lips stretched into an infectious smirk. "Are you saying I'm your _mate_?" she asked chidingly and his hand left her. He looked downward nervously and Blair had to admit, Edward was irresistibly gorgeous when he was embarrassed. She almost giggled when he started gesticulating with his hands like a politician in the hot seat.

"Well…um" Cue hand gesture. "You are my girlfriend however…technically…."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay well. When you're done doing your Obama impersonation, pray tell me what a girl has to do around here to reach 'mate' status?"

"Mate, girlfriend, those are just labels anyway, Blair" he said, "besides vampires are mated not humans."

"Well?" She gave him an expectant look.

"Oh no, Blair don't do this to me." He looked up through the ceiling and sighed.

"Edward…why don't you want to turn me?" she asked.

"Blair…" There was that gesticulating again. "I know you don't want to be a vampire."

"So. I would if you wanted me to. Maybe I could think it over, consider my options."

"That isn't an option." He got up and stalked over to the far side of the room.

"Why?" Blair crossed her arms around her chest. Her eyes were piercing him as he paced the room. "What is so terrible about being Edward Cullen that you don't want me being like you," she demanded.

"You tell me, Blair. You don't exactly want to be a vampire either," he shot back at her.

"That's not the point. I want you to _want _me to spend forever with you. _God._" She threw her hands in the air in exasperation. "And I don't know. I like being a person, okay. I like being in public and around people. I like frivolous things like sun bathing in the Hamptons and sitting front row at fashion week. I like people knowing who I am and where I am and talking about me. And I like the idea of settling in one place for more that 5 years."

"Good." He stopped pacing and stared at her. "All veritable reasons and I would hate to take those things away from you."

"Bull shit!" she shouted and rose off the bed. She stomped over until she was totally blocking him, staring him down with those imposing dark brown eyes of hers. "You know very well that I would lose those things no matter what if you kept me human. I can't exactly live my life without you."

Edward was silent.

She let out a frustrated growl. "Look, Edward." She poked his chest with her manicured finger. "If you think I'm going to be content just being your little pet girlfriend for the rest of my life…"

A sudden smile crept up his lips as he stared down at her. "Are you saying you want to be _more _that my girlfriend?"

"_Edward_! I'm serious." She growled. "If you turned me we could stay like this forever and you wouldn't have to worry about loosing me. Think about it. Clearly I'm still young and gorgeous and everything-"

"-Clearly." He cut her sentence of with a peck at the corner of her mouth. "And so humble too."

Blair rolled her eyes. "But what about when I'm old. What are we going to be when I'm eighty and people think you're my grandson?"

"Well it seems to work for Hugh Hefner."

"I'm serious!"

"Blair, I love you and for a vampire that is not a fickle thing. You'll age and become closer to the age I am now and I'll stay with you as whatever you want me to be; you lover, you friend, your companion. I'll be right there with you…helping you cross the street," he gave a wry smile and the low growl she emitted, catching her wrist before her hand could fly across his face.

"Blair you are young and impulsive. Your mind is fickle and vain. I look forward to watching you grow into the person you're meant to become. As you age our relationship will only mature," he pleaded. "The way I feel about you can never change. You can't begin to grasp how much I care…"

"Oh God," she groaned. "If this is another one of your 'feeble human cannot contemplate this or that…' spiels I swear to God you're going to be contemplating finding a new girlfriend." He chuckled and looked downward. "And I am neither fickle nor impulsive."

"Sure you're not."

She scowled at him. "Fine I'm fickle and vain and that's why you don't want me around forever."

He sighed and enfolded her in his arms, resting his chin atop her head. "Of course not, Blair. These things are all a part of your charm and I will spend one lifetime making you blithely aware of that."

She pouted and turned away from him. "I see how it's going to be," she grumbled, stalking back over to the bed and plopping onto it dejectedly. "You're just going to let me get old and die. Oh you'll mourn me alright but then eventually some new girl will come along. She'll be all sweet and nice. Nothing like me at all. She'll console you on your loss. You'll open up to her and do all the things you were too "careful" to do with me. And not baring the thought of loosing someone twice, you'll turn her. And the two of you will spend forever forgetting all about me while I turn over in my grave."

Edward sighed and raked his hand through his tousled bronze locks. He approached her slowly, dropping before her to his knees so that his eyes were aligned to her chest. "Blair, do you have any idea how much you mean to me? I want to be with you. Only you. If I thought this life was anything short of a living purgatory I wouldn't hesitate to make you mine forever."

"And when I'm gone?" she said. "You might be able to protect me from James or Victoria but you can't shield me from timely death."

He let out a forlorn breath and let his head fall on the bed between her knees. "Blair, isn't it enough to live long and happy life with me?"

She exhaled loudly, stroking his hair in a way that reminded her of a sculpture of the Madonna. He looked so much like a fallen angel at her feet. "Fine," she said. "But you have to promise me you'll join a monastery or something after I'm gone."

His nimble fingers began to play the piano against her skin, an upwards moving scale starting from her knees. She knotted her lips when she felt his cool lips touch her inner thigh.

"You are my only reason to stay alive," he murmured against her creamy skin reverently hiking kisses upward. "There can never be anyone after you."

"What does that mean?" she asked, her thighs quivering a bit.

He placed a kiss between her thighs over her black shorts then stood up to capture her mouth. "It means we have 15 minute until Mr. Swan comes home from work." He shoved her down gently until her hair fanned the pillows.

"You're deflecting," Blair whined, her voice sounding impetuous yet distant.

He arrested her mouth with his again, his body hovering over her. With his elbow to the bed, he kept the brunt of his weight off of her as they kissed, his other hand, unbuttoning her shorts deftly. She was going to protest to his dismissing her feelings but only a very acquiescent moan escaped her lips. He lips curled against her mouth in that smug fashion. "Seriously. Kill me now," she whined.

She felt his body go rigid next to her. She looked up from his naughty hand to see him eyeing her with a strange look. A very dark strange look. A nervous laugh flurried from lips. "I mean…don't _actually_ kill me…" she hedged nervously.

The muscles along his jaw twitched but he said nothing. His eyes were honey light but flickering as if grappling with something. "Blair," he said after a long pause. His voice was gruff and strained. She flinched when his cold hand touched her chin. His eyes flickered away and then back again. What was he keeping from her? "Be careful what you say around people…what you tell them to do, alright?"

"What?" Her eyes winced with astonishment. "What does that even mean?"

"Nothing." He suddenly smiled. "Nevermind."

She gave him a wary look. "What do you know that I don't?"

"Lots." He caught her wrist in his hand before she could smack the smirk off his face.

She shot him a warning glare.

"I'm just saying. Careful with that mouth of yours, Blair." He pressed his lips to her inner wrist. "That beautiful very plush and warm mouth of yours."

**AN: Food for reviewer thought. Anyone confused about that last part? You should PROBABLY read the prequel chapter in **_**The Vampire and the Socialite**_** called, **_**The Damsel who Distresses. **_**I mean it's not necessary but maybe it will shed some light. I will in due time. What do we think about their relationship? Forks High post-Rosalie? The pink-lacey bra wearing elephant in the room? Review and let me know your thoughts.**

**Oh and as always. Review=PREVIEW**


	3. Somewhere in Time

**AN: Merry Christmas!! Here's my gift to you; this super stuffed, family-oriented, chapter. Sorry I'm kinda busy with family so editing isn't on par. Hope you enjoy. And please REVIEW. Because that gets you a PREVIEW. Have a wonderful Christmas everyone and I'll post again before New Years if I can.**

**Songs I love from this chapter:**

**Sabbath Bloody Sabbath- Black Sabbath**

**Your Song- Elton John**

"Hey midget."

Alice let out the rest of the air in her lungs in a loud huff. She slammed her locker loudly and pivoted on her heels like a little ballerina. Ashley Zeller and her two little Hench-whores were blocking her view, looking particularly conspicuous. They exchanged conspiring smirks.

Alice rolled her eyes. She was getting too old for this. "What is now?"

"Nothing" The strawberry blonde's eyes twinkled with mischief. "It's just, that's a really cute bag."

"It's vintage."

"Adorable. Can I hold it?"

"No."

The blonde pouted. "Come on, Alice. Don't me mean. I just want to hold it for a sec."

Alice bit back a growl and handed the bag over reluctantly. Not once surprised at the sound of her things clattering to the linoleum floor. Ashley held the overturned bag as it drained in her hands with a mocking smile. "Oops." The leather bag soon joined the pile of lip stick and accessories on the floor. Slouching over the pyramid of girl accessories. The pint sized vampire gritted her teeth, praying to God she could keep her temper in check. However nobody messed with Alice's designer things. Alice felt her hold of herself begin to slip as the anger meddled with her bloodlust when she heard Blair's voice.

"Ashley, what the hell?" Blair demanded as she approached them, her trio falling into formation around her.

"Oh hey, Blair. Oh don't tell me this one's yours too." Ashley's friends snickered.

"Angela," she snapped, and the brunet immediately bent down and began to gather Alice's things. Alice got down and helped her. Blair ignored the two and narrowed her eyes at Angela and her friends. "Listen here, you trifling whores. Stay in your little click of dropouts and future food stamp recipients and stay the hell away from my friends, my associates, and everyone else."

"Please." Ashley rolled her eyes. "Blair you might have ran things back at your school but guess what, you're not in Kansas anymore, sweetheart. Here you're just a uptight little dork who happens to have a hot boyfriend so you don't get to tell me who I can or can't talk to around here. And you know what, Edward's looking kind of good to me lately, what do you think girls."

Blair didn't know what she was about to do until she felt Alice tug her backwards by her shirt. Ashley grinned, knowing she had finally found Blair's Achilles' heel. "Oh please," Alice cut in, rolling her eyes while she held Blair back with her surprising strength. "My brother would never."

"Okay." Blair's voice stabilizing as she spoke. She shrugged Alice's arms off of her and put her hands up. "Lauren please add, 'kill a bitch' to my to-do-list."

Even Alice had to smirk when Lauren literally produced a pen and started scribbling into a notepad.

"You're going to wish you hadn't said that, Ashley," Blair said darkly.

"Whatever."

"Yeah. Now this is the part where you and your skanks walk away," Blair said in an agitated voice, making a walking motion with her fingers to the opposite direction.

The two were melting each other's faces off with their glares until Ashley finally just shrugged and walked away, knocking her shoulder as she passed with her sniggering friends.

Jasper suddenly appeared, walking up to them slowly.

"Ladies is it just me or does it feel very murderous in here," Jasper drawled, swinging his arms around Alice's shoulders. "What'd I miss?"

"A death match," Angela grumbled under her breath. Jasper shot her an appreciative grin.

"Honestly, B, she's not even that cute," Jessica chimed and Blair rolled her eyes. Thankfully the bell rang.

"Hey Blair, tell Charlie you're sleeping over my place tonight," Alice suddenly announced, her eyes looking cloudy.

"O-okay? Sure," Blair answered, not sure how strange the transaction seemed to her human friends.

"Good," Alice smiled, her eyes returning to normal. "Later Blair."

"Later Alice."

Later that night Alice swung by Blair's place and made a show of picking her up for Charlie even though the chief was quite aware of the face that a sleepover with Alice meant sleeping over with Edward.

Blair spent a great deal of time at the Cullens. They considered her to be family. Carlisle and Esme were always crafting these extravagant meals whenever she came by. Blair suspected them of having a culinary penchant.

Now that Emmett and Rosalie weren't in school anymore it was their only time around the socialite, a fact that Rosalie relished. Emmett however regarded Blair as a younger sister and as such she was often subject to his teasing and practical jokes. Even though Blair always pitched a fit about Emmett's crass ways, she loved being around him and the Cullens in general. In some strange way the vampire coven was the only true example of a functional loving family she'd had for awhile now.

She was spending her Friday night on the Cullen couch. She was laying across it, on her side with her head in Edward's lap, watching District 9 on their amazing system. His hand was fondly stroking her brown hair. As usual when watching a movie at the Cullens, Emmett drifted into the living room and proclaimed that the movie was boring him. Jasper and Alice drifted into the room as well as did Esme and Carlisle and as usual everyone just started talking and laughing over the movie.

Something from the movie sparked a discussion and suddenly Jasper turned to Blair and asked, "Did Edward ever tell you about his bout with drugs."

"You?" She turned to him with widened eyes. His expression deadpanned. He shook his head casually and replied, "Please. More like Jasper's bout with drugs."

Blair felt her head spinning in different directions. "Wait. What?!"

"Hey." Jasper raised his hands defensively. "It was the sixties and no. Technically vampires can't do drugs. It's pointless. Unless you're an empath in East Village NY, surrounded by a bunch of acid tripping hippies and stoners."

Edward pursed his lips, thoughtfully. "Come to think of it, that _was _the happiest I've ever seen you around humans."

Blair gave him a smile that was both scandalized and appreciative.

"Edward here didn't do any hard drugs."

"Shocking," Edward mumbled in his usual dry tone.

"However," Jasper continued, "This boy could smoke a tobacco farmer out house and home."

"And how!" Esme agreed, nodding her head whole heartedly. The room chuckled at her lapse into dated slang. "God, he had a filthy habit. I _hated _it."

Carlisle gave a slow solemn nod in agreement. "Wait?" Blair turned to Edward, mouth agape. "You smoked?"

"Only cigarettes…occasionally cigars…" he answered guiltily.

"Gross!" She scrounged her nose.

"Thank you." The room agreed.

"It was the times," he said with a defensive shrug. "Smoking wasn't taboo back then and it was easier to blend in that way. Plus it's not like I'm going to die from it."

She narrowed her eyes, trying to picture him with a cigarette butt hanging from his mouth. For some reason the vision couldn't form. Smoking seemed so common. So human. If ever he did smoke he probably looked like a model posing for GQ while doing it. As much as she abhorred the smell of ash, she had to admit, she was a little turned on by the prospect. Edward only rolled his eyes.

"Only cigarettes. Please." Rosalie sauntered into the room and sat on the arm of Emmett's chair. She looked like she had just come from a runway and not from the garage tinkering with engines. She leaned onto the chair sinuously and pursed her tinted lips. Blair's self-esteem odometer took a nose dive. "Ever hear the story of when Edward smoked weed?"

"What?"

"Rosalie you're so dramatic," Edward said and rolled his eyes. "Anyway it was '73 and Rose and I were siblings in high school at the time."

"Oh yeah, Seattle. I remember," Alice chimed. "Oh you should've seen Rose. She had her hair all straightened out and parted at the middle like some flower child with the high waisted jeans and the whole waif look going for her. I could never get Edward to wear anything stylish however."

"The seventies were not my era," was all he said. "I do however remember there being a picture of a certain doctor in a white, bellbottom suite."

"Nope. That picture burned." Carlisle smirked and Blair chuckled.

"As you can imagine, Rosalie was very popular with the boys in our class at the time and they were all too stoned to be afraid of her so they'd ask her out every other day. We shared English together and one day she gets annoyed and says yes," Edward explained. "Reading her mind, I realize she's actually planning on…well… falling off the wagon with these boys and so I don't say anything to Emmett or anyone else."

Rosalie chuckled. "Yes. Instead he thinks it's more discrete to just invite himself along with me. 'Oh yeah, can my little brother come with?'"

"Like I was going to let you go to his empty house to 'hang out' in his basement with him, which was his plan," Edward countered. "Oh yeah, that would have ended very well."

Blair's eyes danced back and forth between them. She was smiling but there was something bubbling to the surface through her eyes; envy.

"Whatever." Rose rolled her eyes. "You could imagine how pissed I was but I was determined to prove Edward wrong and show him that I wasn't going to kill anyone. So we both go to his house."

"And lo and behold, his parent are out of town," Edward said in a deadpanned voice.

Emmett snickered.

"And he's totally prepared for Edward's cock-blocking schemes because his older sister's in town from college. What was her name? Holly." Rosalie smirked knowingly at Blair.

"God, I hated that girl," Edward groaned.

"So long story short we go down to his basement and they've got Black Sabbath blaring and the place smells like cheap beer and reefer. I sit next to Kurt, which was his name by the way, and Edward takes a chair and guess where Holly sits."

"Please don't" Edward interjected.

"On Edward's lap." Rosalie beamed. The vampire sighed and Blair remained strangely silent. "But then I guess tactful girls were never his type," she said venomously. Blair bit the inside of her cheek. "So Edward's sitting there trying to babysit me with this trampy blond draped all over him all the while he's making the most martyred face you can imagine and I'm still pissed as hell so I pretend to be into it. We're both just playing Texas Holdem at this point; none of us are willing to give in."

"Granted if Edward had left you were going to drink those two, Rose," Carlisle cut in.

"Details." She waived her hand. "Eventually, the teens roll out the biggest blunt I have ever seen and I make this disgusted face and everyone looks at me like I'm from space. Edward just sits there smirking, daring me to take a hit with his eyes. So I take a hit and God did it taste like dust. The ash just fills my lungs and I feel like I want to gag the taste away. I pass it to Holly who makes a show of it, playing with the splint like it were some phallic instrument all while Edward is making this, 'why me' face."

Blair chuckled silently, the picture panned perfectly across her mind like a vintage movie.

"So she passes it to Edward and I know Edward enough to know that he'd smoke the kitchen sink if it were possible so I'm not shocked on bit when he takes it from her. But he when he takes a hit, he literally takes this puff, holding it like the king of England. He takes this dignified hit like its some gold leafed tobacco pipe or something."

The room erupted in snickers. Edward's lips curled up slowly and he shrugged. "Sorry if I wasn't in the mood to put on a show…like _some _people."

"Hey, I was _trying _to be human," Rosalie yelled.

"Please." Edward rolled his eyes. "She starts giggling like a hyena every five minutes. By this point I'm about to leave. I didn't even care about saving these two at that point."

Rosalie burst out with laughter. "I know. Poor Edward. Everyone's giggling and having a good time, including Holly whose basically got her hands all over him while he just sits there gritting his teeth."

"So what happened next," Blair asked, eyeing him with a cocked eyebrow.

"What happens is your boyfriend, all of a sudden- sorry Esme- all of a sudden growls, "f**k this,' and brushes Holly off of him and he stands up and just strides outa there."

Emmett and Jasper collapse in laughter. "Luckily Rosalie had lost her appetite that night," Alice added.

"That event both cemented my distaste for marijuana and killed penchant for smoking all at once."

"Thank heavens," Esme proclaimed and the room giggled.

When the laughter subsided Blair smiled weakly, a forced smile. "It seems like you guys had a lot of fun."

"Yeah. The stories I could tell you," Emmett agreed.

"Blair, you look pained. Are you alright?" Carlisle asked, his voice laced with genuine concern. Edward eyed her intensely.

Her eyes went from Edward to Carlisle. "No. I'm fine," she said wearily. "I'm just…tired. I think I'm going to go lay down." She rose from Edward's side. "Goodnight guys." She padded across the room and went up the stairs without another word leaving his family to stare at Edward expectantly.

"She's upset," Jasper announced.

"No shit, Sherlock," Emmett grouched.

"Edward?" Esme eyed him as if he should be confessing something.

He put his hands up as if to show that they were free of red paint. "I'm clueless." And clueless he was. He rose from the couch and excused himself from the room, following her footsteps to his room.

Standing outside his bedroom door, he sighed. Blair could be such a handful sometimes. One minute she was smiling and laughing with his family and upset the next. And there weren't enough empaths or mind readers in the world to illuminate the situation for him. He genuinely didn't understand what was going through her mind for once. And being accustomed to automatically knowing Blair's most intimate thought he wasn't used to doing his own dirty work and teasing the answer out like most boyfriends. He let out a long breath and entered his room. She was laying under his covers on her side, her chest rising and falling.

He sat on the edge of his bed, watching her chest rise and fall. His hands found the outline of her body and traced her curves over the cover, running up and down along her sides in a soothing pattern. Her breathing stuttered.

"Are you alright?"

_Go away I'm sleeping. _His lips tugged upwards. "You're awfully alert for someone fast asleep." She didn't answer him. "Are you upset with me?"

She shook her head against the pillow. "No," she said, groggily.

"You seemed a bit upset back there."

"I'm not upset with you I'm tired." Her voice was laced with genuine fatigue.

"Blair, please." He reached for her hands…"Talk to me."

"I don't know…" She rolled herself up from out of the covers and sat up on the bed. "I guess I'm just…I don't know… I just realized how...full your life is. You have all these great experiences and memories and I'm not a part of a single one. I just feel like I've been…absent…nonexistent or whatever for it all … which makes me feel strangely left out and I don't like it." She let out a forlorn sigh. Her lips pursed. "I should've been born sooner."

"_Yes." _His lips caught hers unawares but her mouth molded to his perfectly, drinking him in like a tall glass of water. He pulled away breathlessly. "Blair, that's the most truthful thing you've said all day. You don't know how long I've waited for you. Decade after decade, I spent in the dark. Not knowing what it was I was seeking and never finding it, not knowing it was because you weren't born yet."

She bit her lips. The salty smell of unfallen tears filled Edward's senses "Are you going to sing Elton John now?" she quipped.

"Seriously? Must you ruin every good moment?"

"Every one," she chided. Her voice taut with emotion.

The vampire shook his head.

"Will you tell me," she asked, "Tell me about your life in detail so I can imagine I was there."

"Sure what do you want to know?"

"Okay let's start at the 20's"

He narrowed his eyes and thought about it. "I spent much of the roaring twenties as a newborn sequestered in the wilderness, sorry."

"30's?"

His expression hardened. "Let's not shall we."

"Ohhh." Her eyes widened a bit. She nodded. "Okay, what about the fifties?" she asked. "And please don't tell me you were still going through your Sweeny Todd phase."

He chose to answer that little comment with martyred sigh. His face became thoughtful. "Again, not much to talk about. I spent most of the decade in Med. school."

"Wait, are saying you're _Doctor _Edward Cullen?" Her lips slowly curled upwards. "I can picture you in a stark white coat, stethoscope…very nice Mr. Cullen or shall I call you Doctor Masen."

Shaking his head, he released a muffled chuckle. "The last few years I spent at Harvard. Which brings us into the 60s."

"Again not as fun. I spend the early to mid 60's interning and then working at a busness firm. It was very Mad Men-esque."

"What? Are you kidding me? That is _very_ hot. You in a 60's cut suit and tie. Please tell me you tamed your hair."

He chuckled and answered drudgingly, "_Yes_ Blair. I kept it slick and parted back then."

Her mouth dropped. "I'm sorry. I have to imagine this." Her hands reached out to hair, her fingers roaming smoothly through the bronze mass. Briefly his eyes lulled shut as she raked her fingers through his hair, her warm pads were blazing his scalp. She slicked his hair back with her hands and held it there and examined him. "I like it."

Edward smiled sheepishly and averted his eyes from her admiring eyes. "So what was it like?"

He shrugged, instantly missing her warmth as her hands fell from him. "Nothing particularly fascinating. It was interesting to be around people again. Adults at that." He ventured to look up at her. Her eyes were so wide with such rapt attention you would think that he were giving away the secrets to the universe. "You're not unfamiliar with the corporate world." She nodded. "It was pretty much the same. Only less women and more cigarettes."

_Which you apparently were a fan of. _She gave him a pointed look.

"Want to know a secret?" he asked. "My father was a smoker. My mother always scolded him for it but," he smiled then, "I don't remember much but I do remember his evening cigars. In a strange way the smell of tobacco, tar, mass chemicals and ash reminds me of him." He let out a rapid nervous breath.

"Want to know the worst kept secret ever?" Blair said, reaching for his face and touching her warm palm to his cheek. "You're adorable and I'm completely in love with you."

He turned his head into the warmth of her hand and a lengthy silence ensued.

"Hmm… I already know about what you were up to in the late 60's and 70's. How about the 80s?"

He smiled. "The 80's for me can be summarized in two words; Alternative rock."

"You would."

"I did," he smiled apologetically.

"You so have that whole, 'trench coat/ Cure' thing going on." She smiled and cocked her head, examining him, "Which again, I find strangely hot. Where are these outfits?"

"Mysteriously burnt to a crisp," He said solemnly. She pouted. "I spent much I my time traveling abroad. I was living in London for much of the 80's thus missing the greatest most important event of the decade."

"What?" she asked excitedly, her eyes widening. "The Berlin Wall? The Soviet fall? Macintosh?"

"No." He chuckled. "I was thinking more along the lines of, November. Manhattan. 1987."

"Oh. Me." She gave a genuinely infectious smile.

"And there's February 18 2005. That very same girl sits across from me in the lunchroom and starts plotting to, 'take me down'."

"Ah. No. It was just your family at first, remember," she interjected. "You were spared because I thought you were cute."

"Oh yes. Silly me." He was beaming now. "March 7 2005, I kiss a girl for the first time and she passes out in my arms."

"March 11, 2005 again I tell that same girl that I love her and she says absolutely nothing in response."

Blair's cheeks became rose. She bit her lips and looked down at her hands. "Yeah. That was a pretty awkward drive home."

"Just a bit." Edward suppressed a smile.

"March 13th 2005. Said girl manages to get herself kidnapped by a vampire and taken to New York wherein I get to undertake my first harrowing rescue."

"Where you never once tried to kill me," she added wryly.

"Never once." He smirked. "And that's the way I'm remembering it."

"I'm sensing a pattern here."

"Good. Because every exciting thing, good or bad, I've ever experienced has been with you Blair. Every worthwhile memory is with you in it."

Her smile was so wide it was infectious. He imagined everyone within a mile radius grinning widely all of a sudden. "You're forgetting some very key firsts: June 20th2005, Edward Cullen has his first ever orga- "Her impertinent mouth was silenced by his hand. Muffled giggles seeped through his fingers as he gather her up with his other hand and pulled her onto the bed, pinning her under him. "I haven't forgotten that you impertinent girl."

He let his hand up from her lips. The girl underneath him was giggling incessantly. _I forget everyone here has bionic hearing. _

Her giggling had ceased but he remained on top of her. She let out a contented sigh. "So what about the nineties, Mr. Masen?"

"What about you Waldorf or shall I guess." He pretended to think about it. "Care-Bares, Spice Girls and Boy bands?

Her face turned a lovely shade of mauve. She nodded, grinning. "Pretty much. And let me guess; Trench coats, The Crow, and Grunge metal?"

"You know me so well it scares me." He pecked her chin lightly. "Apart from that I was still abroad. I spent some time in with the Volturi-"

"The who?"

"The Volturi. They're one of the oldest covens of vampires." He rolled to her side but kept his hands on her. His fingers were playing the piano along her side and the soft tapping rhythm was slowly lulling her to sleep. "They're the closest thing vampires have to royalty-"

"Really?'

"Well no. More like a council of maniacal power-lords. But they do enforce our laws."

She suppressed a yawn. "Vampires have laws?" She asked sleepily.

"Yes we do." He rolled off of her. "I'll tell you about them sometime. But for now. Go to bed my love."

**AN: Yes I would like some wine with this cheese. SM left much of Edward's life a mystery so I got to play around with his background here a bit. Hope you enjoyed me illuminating my Edward a bit. Oh and yes I will get into what happened in the last chapter later. **

**Next chapter up: A Serious Talk.**

**REVIEW= My Christmas Present/ PREVIEW for you**


	4. A Serious Talk

**Dear readers: **

**Because I made a big decision to stick with my guts and cut the lime that isn't necessary. Why? Because I want to jar you with the lemons later and it just feels out of place here. I'm having a difficult time segwaying from the original rated T prequel which is finny because that was my 1****st**** and only rated T story and it was KILLING me not to write lemons. But bear with me. Because you guys have been SO wonderful with your reviews AND because I kept you waiting so long, I give you the happenings of June, 2005. **

**-Enjoy**

**Review=Preview**

**Music- Slow Dancing in a Burning Room- John Mayor **

Flashback Anyone?

June, 2005.

Spotted:

Prince Charming leaving the ball with the girl in hand. It seems not even Chuck Bass could sabotage EC and B. Or is this just round one? Is it true love for B, this time? And what's that moisture in C's eyes? Looks like I'm not the only one who cries at weddings.

Till next time,

XoXo

-GG

The two stumbled their way away from the ballroom- Blair stumbled, alcohol still spiking her blood. That combined with her yet off kilter balance and the sand sinking her feet. The full moon and the dim lights from the estates guided the sandy path while the sea hummed gently beside them.

Edward kept his lips latched to hers. Neediness and fury clouded his judgment and he was brusque with his strength. His fury had subsided but abhorred slight hint of Chuck Bass lingering on her. If filled him with a need to wipe him off of her.

He moaned and she pulled her lips away. She seemed to sense his dark mood. Her lips were still trembling with trepidation as if he were just going to run off and leave her at any moment. The moon was lighting up her porcelain skin. Speck of moonlight flickered in her watery dark eyes.

"This is us," she said, motioning to the seaside summer house. She began to walk backwards, tugging him along. He languidly followed her broken steps into the seaside villa, trekking sand on the polished wood floors all the way to her bedroom. An open Louis Vuitton suitcase perched on top of her made bed. He dusted it away and sat down, looking up at her.

She sauntered into the space between his open legs, partly amused by the expression on his face as his eyes took her in. He looked awestruck and bewildered yet determined. His hands soon crept to the zipper of her dress and the cool metal ran down her back slowly. The dress fell from her body and formed a puddle of espresso on the floor. He let out a soft breath as his eyes grazed upwards from the small black brace on her leg, to the waiver lace triangle between her hips to her small bare nipples. Slowly he brought his hands to her skin. She jumped a bit at the jarring coolness of his touch. His hands banded her hips, running reverently along her skin.

He brought his lips to her skin, placing cool kisses along her lower rib. "Why are you so beautiful," he murmured reverently against her skin. Her eyes fluttered shut as mouth stumbled over her nipple. Edward was stunned at how perfect her supple pink flesh felt against his tongue. It was like her breasts were made for his mouth to lavish. A soft moan flurried from her lips. He paused, mesmerized by that sound and her heady scent filling the room.

"Blair," he called, watching her closed eyes tentatively.

"Hmmm?"

"Blair," he said again and her dark eyes greeted his hazily. "I don't want to hurt you. This is…new to me…"

"I trust you," she murmured in a voice that could only be described as a soft purr.

He let out a little breath and pulled her lips down to him, letting his mouth communicate his need for her. Their mouths dueling escalated and Blair suddenly found herself tossed onto the bed, Edward climbing over her. She stared up at him. His bronze hair was matted beyond repair and his crisp shirt was now wrinkled and missing several buttons, exposing his chest.

Distracted she flinched when his fingers touched the webbed texture around her hips. He watched her eyes; honey to coffee, then grasped the material between his fingers and pulled. She lifted her bottom from the bed for a moment then relaxed into the sheets again. His eyes pulled the white lace along her thighs. Froth against cream. He inhaled the heady mixture of lust and blood into his senses. For a moment he just eyed her appreciating.

Carefully, he moved into the space beside her, lying on his side and took her lips with his. She was soft to his hard, warm and delicious. Her soft fingers crept over his and shadowed his hand as he walked them downward. A low breath staggered from her throat as he cupped her mound. Steeling herself, she gave him an encouraging little smirk and let go of his hand. His index entered her without preamble and she gasped into his mouth. He stilled for a moment, eyes piercing hers, and let her warm him. Her heat was like holding fire in his hands. She was slippery hot and tight and he wondered what it would feel like to be inside of her. The ragged breath he took was not helping his combined lust one bit. Blair's features tensed then quickly relaxed. Her hips began to squirm. More molten fire engulfed his hand. Wordlessly, he snatched her lips with his a entering her rhythmically all the while, kissing her for all he was worth.

A little whimper flurried between them and he kissed her harder, barely registering that he might be hurting her. He pulled back and she cried out in protest, holding two fingers up between them.

He arched one brow but agreed, plunging two fingers into her this time. A very thin scream escaped her lips and it sang to the most primitive depths of his soul. He wanted to make her scream again and again. He leaned into her again and began to feast on her delicate skin, pressing urgent kisses along her jugular. He could almost taste her heated blood on his tongue.

His thumb began to gently circle her clit. Her hands grasped his shouters. The sounds she was making would make anyone pat themselves on the shoulder but he was watching her thoughts tentatively, making sure that he wasn't hurting her or doing something she didn't want. Her hips moved with him. Another thin scream pierced his sensitive ears just as his lips grazed her neck. Her arms reached up and fisted his hair with all her strength. He felt her walls flutter around him. "Edward…" she vaguely moaned and then released his locks from her vice grip.

He looked down at her. Her eyes were hooded and her lips were slightly parted. Slipping his fingers from her wet heat he felt a monstrous urge to bite her overpower him. He blinked hazily.

Chest rising and falling she looked up at him. Edward's eyes were an ominous black. He looked down at her hazily. His beautiful face looked pained, every muscle tensed, his expression was lucid as if he were slipping into something he couldn't pull himself out of.

Hesitantly she put her heated palm to his stone cheek. As if finding respite in her touch, he turned into her palm, his lips grazing her inner vein and the scar there. But she wasn't afraid. She thought she knew what she needed.

"Come here." His body followed her lead as she attempted to get up from under him. He flipped them over slowly so that she was straddling his torso and he laying flat on his back. She wasted no time fumbling his shirt buttons open. After which she paused for a moment to appreciate the beautiful creature beneath her. His body reminded her of a classic sculpture. His was muscular in a lithe and sinuous way. Dark eyes traced his marble skin from his pink nipples down to his sculpted abs. Bronze hair sparsely dusted his chest and left a tempting trail into his denim pants. Blair released an appreciative breath then began feasting on his neck. He hissed when her warm lips touched his sensitized skin, placing feathery wet kisses down along his chest.

He closed his eyes for a moment, hearing his zipper grate and feeling a gentle tug. His raised his hips slightly, allowing her to pull his pants down all the while wondering why he was breathing like a chain smoker in a marathon when he didn't need air. He didn't dare look down at her to see her lips pursed, her hair begging for his fingers, lest he actually spontaneously combust or worse, grab her with his brute strength, flip her over and pound into her heat mercilessly. That wouldn't end favorably for either of them.

The vampire suppressed a low growl when he felt his shaft unceremoniously engulfed into soft molten heat. His eyes shot open. _Fuck. _Blair's eyes were partially hooded, deeply concentrating on the task at hand, so to speak. Her mauve shaded lips held him in a vice grip, moving up and down slowly, her tongue alternating between swirling around him and sucking. The novel sensation was unexplainable. It felt almost as good as her blood tasted. A new drug. He could feel his grasp of his own strength slipping from his fingers. All he needed was to react, reach for her, fist her hair, stroke her cheek, and he could crush her in his hand.

Blair let her eyes wonder. Edward's hands were balled into fists at his sides, the silky sheets caught in his fingers looked like they would be grinded into dust. She chuckled and he winced. The vibrations from her throat shot straight through him. Slowly she pulled her lips all the way to his tip and let her tongue wonder languidly against the plush velvet. Encasing her lips around it and began to simulate an intimate kiss.

He threw his head back, greeting her with the strained tendons of his neck and let out an enraptured moan. "Mmmm…Blair…fuck…_sorry_…damn…"

_Thank you Cosmopolitan Magazine! _Blair loved the sight of her proper boyfriend so unhinged around her. Her mouth welcomed his cool shaft as far as her gag reflexes would allow her, which wasn't very far considering his impressive length. She wondered what it would feel like to have him inside of her, if she could ever accommodate him, she moaned around him picturing the feel of him buried deep within her.

The mental picture of him moving in and out of her whimpering flesh flashed through her mind and it unraveled him at the seems. "Blair…I'm…going to…" he struggled to form coherent sentences but her mouth felt so good. "Cum."

"Mmhm," she agreed around his cock and he lost it. For a very brief moment he could have sworn he saw stars as he exploded into her mouth with a loud grunt.

Jesus H Christ. So that's what the hoopla was all about. He lay there in daze feeling more elated than someone with that much angst should ever feel. She climbed up next to him and nestled herself at his side. The static like sound of the ocean filled the silence as he stared up at the fan, breathing heavily. Resting her head at the crook of his arm she smirked. "Edward, are you dead?" she asked, chuckling when he didn't speak.

"Quite."

She rolled her eyes. Of course she walked right into that one. "Was that your first-?"

"Yes."

Her swollen mouth formed a perfect "o". She smiled and relaxed her body against his. His arm snaked around her waist and cleaved her to him. Even though he was hard like stone, lying against him felt like coming home to a warm fire and cookies. She wrapped her arm around his torso. "I love you, you know."

He turned his neck and kissed the top of her head. "I know."

_End flashback.

~X~

In a vast display of splendor and wealth two old women sat across from one another having their ritual morning tea. A panorama of Upper East Side Manhattan peaked through every curtained window as the noise from an open window seeped into the urbane drawing room.

The woman with the angelic white hair and jovial smile set her cup and saucer to the table in front of her and clasped her wrinkled hands together, nails painted fire engine red. The trails of lines around her mouth hinted of decades of mischievous grins and smiles that could once stop a any taxi in it's tracks.

"Can you imagine that after all these years?"

"If it were anyone else at your age, I would say, no." Oddly the woman opposite her pursed lips. Her mouth was worried with lines too but she was quite different from her friend. The elderly woman's brown hair was styled in an elegant up-do. Only the graying parts of her bangs fell forward across her forehead sleekly. She was wearing vintage Chanel from head to toe; a hound's-tooth blazer and matching skirt, white silk stockings and dripping pears. She reached for her cup, her dark eyes catching the glint of the diamond on her own finger. Her brittle hand trembled as it grasped the tea.

The angel haired woman reached across the little coffee table and put her hands on her friend's, stopping her trembling. "You shouldn't be alone. He's been gone a long time and I worry about you. You should remarry"

The salt and pepper brunet's lips quirked into an amused smile, as if that smile held a secret. But her eyes were sad. "Why? You've been remarried enough for the both of us."

"Hmmm that's just the jealousy talking." The white haired lady chuckled and removed her hand. "But Armand does have some single friends if you're interested."

"Armand is thirty years younger than you," she informed her pointedly.

"Oh come on," she encouraged. "Don't tell me you care about being called a cougar." The brunette's eyes flashed but she said nothing, only turned her elegant neck towards the open window. She was so transfixed on that window. Like she were an aged Wendy waiting for Peter Pan to take her to Neverland.

Blair shot up from her pillow trenched in a cold sweat. The strange vision faded from her mind in a slow lingering fashion. She held her neck, her chest heaving as the dream suddenly faded from her memory. The details were vague but the feeling lingered and she didn't like it.

The first thing she noticed was that she was alone. The clock said 3AM. Pushing off from her bed, Blair bounded downstairs, noticing that all the lights were still on in the silent house. Zombie walking into the kitchen, the stark lights stung her eyes. She squinted and dragged her feet over the refrigerator, not sure where the urge to consume everything in sight came from. Not sure why the handle in her hand swinging open, revealing a fully stocked refrigerator, jarred her into full alertness. She shook the sense of déjà vu away and perused her choices.

She just loved the Cullens for keeping their kitchen stocked for her only. And finely too. Blair helped herself to a wheel of brie and a bushel of grapes from the refrigerator. Contently lugging them to the counter. She paused, remembering she'd forgotten something and spun around to open the drawer, retrieving a rather large stainless steel knife.

"Isn't it a bit past your bedtime, little one?"

She gasped and spun around, clutching the knife between her fingers only to find that she was aiming said blade at three very amused vampires.

Her back slumped against the counter and she put her knife clad hand against her heart and gave a sigh. "You guys scared me."

Alice and Carlisle exchanged furtive looks. "We tend to do that."

"Cant sleep?" Carlisle asked and pointed to the small feast.

"Oh," she sighed guiltily. "I was…hungry. Sorry if I woke you u…" And embarrassed blush brushed her cheeks. Alice giggled.

"Actually I was hoping you'd be awake," Alice confessed.

"You were?"

Quicker than she could register, Carlisle was upon her, slowly coaxing the knife from her fingers and shooing her over the bar stools. She climbed onto the raised seat and sat automatically. "I'll take that. We wouldn't want you to cut yourself, would we?" His impish eyes twinkled. The walking god proceeded to prepare a veritable feast for her.

"Where's Edward," she quarried conversationally.

Carlisle looked up from his cutting board and gave her a knowing look. Esme's eyes were sympathetic and amused all at once. The too seemed to be mind-linking, coordinating their thoughts on what to say.

"Probably hunting." Carlisle smirked and resumed his cutting. "We can never keep tabs on that boy."

"He does tend to feed a lot when you're around," Esme added. "Probably because he still wants to drink you."

Blair mouth fell agape but luckily Carlisle laid a small platter of grapes and brie before her.

"Would you like some wine?" Esme asked, giving her an encouraging smile. Blair couldn't help but to smile at her enthusiasm. Esme was like the mom who tried to be cool by showing how lenient she was. She produced a glass and filled it with the sweetest most robust tasting wine she'd ever tasted in her life. The socialite closed her eyes temporarily, letting the aged wine fill her senses. When her eyes reopened the vampires were eyeing her expectantly. Blair briefly wondered why they were acting so strangely.

As if needing to busy himself, Carlisle began to wash the dishes while Esme stood next to him giving him a look that seemed to goad him somehow.

"So Blair…" he began with a voice that seemed forcibly dismissing, as if he were trying to be casual and busy all at once. "Have you given much thought to you future."

"My future?"

"Yes," Esme cut in, smiling warmly. "We mean, what is it that you want to do…with you life?"

"Do you want to be a lawyer or work for your mother's company or branch out or em…have kids, you know…" Alice chimed.

Have kids. How strange considering.

"Well…" Blair began to think really hard, knowing that the Cullens were expecting something profound. She took another sip of her wine. "I um… never really…"

"Yes?"

"It's stupid," Blair confessed. "I've never really thought about my life past Yale. I mean, is it wrong that my goals for live as of yet only include, dominating high school, Getting into Yale, Graduating with honors, marrying Nate Archibald and dying."

Esme and Alice stifled a chuckle.

"The latter goal is no longer relevant of course." She let out a short breath. The wheels inside of Carlisle, Esme, and Alice were visibly turning as they looked at her. A very pregnant silence ensued between them until Carlisle spoke up.

"No Blair, it's not wrong. The great part of being human is that you get to make it up as you go along."

"So, Nate notwithstanding, that puts your lifelong goals at being fulfilled at age 22, am I right?" Alice cut in.

"What?"

"Oh nothing. It's just… haven't you and Edward had the talk?" Alice asked.

Blair groaned. "If you mean the talk that leads to no talking as talking about such subject such as my mortality or lack there of is strictly off limits."

"Yep that's the one."

Blair took a shaky sip of her wine and began to pick at her grapes, restlessly. "It's just really unfair that he gets to make these major decisions without me."

"Well to his defense Edward has some very strong beliefs," Esme offered. The room stilled. "Blair…do you believe in God?"

"Only when it's convenient," Blair muttered without thinking then glanced up. Her face reddening. "I mean…"

"Little girl you fascinate me." Carlisle was smiling widely. "Anyway, Edward truly believes he lives a damned existence and either way it is a decision that once done cannot be undone. Like Rosalie he pines for his humanity, the beauty and brevity of it."

Blair sighed loudly. If she had to hear about how doom and gloom vampirism was one more time she would pull her hair out.

"But there are good parts," Carlisle added as if reading her thoughts. Her dark eyes flitted up to him.

"Like what?" she asked, truly fascinated to hear something positive about vampires for once.

"Well, let's see, there's immortality, we are stronger, faster, more intelligent than the human race on a whole."

"Not to mention we never age," Esme added.

"Hmm…" Blair pictured what it would be like to be a vampire, never having to worry about grays or wrinkles or even getting fat.

"Blair," Carlisle leveled his eyes on her in a way that changed the gravitational pull of the room. Blair's eyes flitted around the kitchen self consciously. Wondering if Esme or Alice could see that she was flustered. They however seemed to be encouraging this transaction. Alice and Esme exchanged enthusiastic smirks. Esme gave a warm head nod.

"Yes?" Following the pull, she leaned across the counter, narrowing their distance.

"Can you keep a secret- from Edward, I mean?"

Her curiosity piqued but her body deflated. Shoulders slumped she confessed, "No. Not one." She pouted.

"Care to try?"

She nodded. "Sure…but…"

"I'm a pro at it," Alice chimed. "All you have to do is, whenever you don't want to think about whatever it is you don't want Edward to know, think of something completely obnoxious instead."

"Then it'll get completely stuck in your head," Esme finished. "And Edward can't stand it."

"Well it Edward can't stand it, I'll do it." Blair smirked. One would think the couple despised each other the way Blair generally did what irritated the vampire, and Edward the like. The vampires smiled, knowingly. "But I don't understand. What am I keeping from Edward exactly?"

"Why, this conversation, of course." Alice looked at her as if she'd fallen asleep during a lecture. "I invited you over here because I knew Edward would be out and I knew that we could finally discuss this."

"Discuss what?"

"Your future, dear," Esme said.

Blair's head was spinning and she looked to Carlisle for a clue. He cleared his throat unnecessarily.

"Blair, Edward is like a son to me," Carlisle began in an even voice. "And you have become a daughter to me as well."

_Really? _Blair's lips curled into that infectious smile. Carlisle had officially been added to her long ever growing list of dads. So far she was at #3, after her birth father and his model boyfriend, Roman who had grown on her in the month spent at their château in France. She was still beaming dreamily whilst he continued.

"Edward might be contented to lose you but Blair it would not only pain Edward if you should…"

"Die?" Her feet suddenly hit the cold ground, hard.

He nodded. "Blair if a human life is what you truly want then as a family we will have to be happy with your choice and love you regardless. But I want you to know that, Edward aside, you have a choice."

She became marginally aware that Esme had refilled her glass of wine. She took a slow sip and gulped it down. Her chest seemed tight for air. "You're saying…you…would change me?"

"If that is what you chose."

"And Edward?"

"I imagine he'd be quite upset but he loves you. For all his hardheadedness he would come around quickly."

"Wow." Suddenly her word seemed so wide. A beautiful vampire was offering her a choice to either live or die and spend forever with the boy she loved.

"It is a lot to absorb but we just want you to think about it," Esme added. "Not around Edward of course."

Blair chuckled. Suddenly two tiny arms enfolded her waist. The spiky haired sprite was hugging her in her chair. Alice pulled away from the embrace and quirked her lips, mischievously. "And while you're thinking, think about all the fun we'll have together. As sisters."

Blair gasped. Sister? But the little imp had already flitted away to Esme.

"Oh and think of what an exquisite looking vampire you'd be," crooned Esme. "You're already so lovely as it is."

Blair's smile returned. Her vanity temporarily distracted her from Alice's statement.

"Oh but you'll be irresistible as a vampire. More beautiful than any runway model," boasted Alice in her sing song voice.

If a Tiffany's had been there, Blair would've thought she'd died and gone to heaven. Why had she not thought of these things before? Of course as a vampire she'd be thousands times as fabulous as she already was. She'd be perfect, thin, and irrespirable to humans everywhere. And most of all she would no longer be breakable. She and Edward would finally be able to be fully intimate.

"Focus, Blair." Alice snapped her hand.

Blair shook away her thoughts and looked to Carlisle. "Would I have powers, like Alice?"

Carlisle's eyes flitted to Esme for a moment and if Blair had not been watching him so keenly she would have missed it.

"Nobody knows that for sure until they change," Alice suddenly chimed in a very nervous sounding voice.

"That's right. I wouldn't know for sure. But possibly," Carlisle admitted.

"Cool." The Cullen's chuckled and Blair could've sworn they were nervous about something. However her mind was lost in the possibilities of powers she might possess as a vampire.

"Blair." Esme cut into her thoughts, gently. "You'll have a much time to think about this and it is an alternative whenever you want it but for now, don't think too much about it. You're still a young girl with a long life ahead of her."

"Especially around Edward," Alice added. "Remember what I told you about blotting it out and if all fails just start thinking about a song that annoys him."

"Lady Gaga it is." Blair nodded. Alice burst into a fit of laughter.

"See. What am I going to do without you around?"

"Miss me dearly." The socialite's eyes fluttered pompously.

"But seriously you cant let this slip to Edward. Not now anyway. He's still really sore on the whole idea."

"Mmhmm." Blair nodded. "Thank you. It really means so much to me to know you care about me that much."

"Of course Blair." Esme's maternal face contorted with emotion. "You're one of us now, no matter what your choice is."

Her smile waned. A strong weariness hit her that she could only attribute to the wine. "Well I guess I have a lot to think about," she said in a conclusive manor. "I think I'm going to go lay down. Maybe actually fall asleep this time."

"Of course." Carlisle nodded. "Goodnight Blair."

"Goodnight." She rose from the barstool and looked around, the wine affecting her ever so slightly. "And thanks."

"Don't mention it." Alice called as she walked away. "Ever."

Blair chuckled all the way to the steps. Taking the opportunity to mull over what was said while Edward was still gone. She lay in bed thinking. She thought of her life, what if would be like to be perfect to the human eye, and what power she would have, if she had a power at all. She most certainly wouldn't want Edward's ability. A power like that would make her wish for death. No wonder Edward was such a downer. She went through several ideas and before falling asleep she decided that her ideal power would be the ability to go out in the son without sparkling. Thus allowing herself the best of both her world and Edward's.

**AN: Sorry for the long break. The holidays and all… But I'm back now and in full effect. **


	5. Anything Goes

**Hi guys sorry for the lack of updating lately. My personal life's been pretty hectic. But hey what's going on with the reviews lately? Don't tell me I lost some of you guys. Well I'm back and we're about to start a new phase of this story so I need everybody back on board. And I'll step it up as well. The next chapter will 100% be up Friday night. **

**DanaP00****: No worries. Blair's definitely more shocked at what being called sister implies for her and Edward.**

**Bethany****: You're welcome. And you won't have to wait very long. **

**Roseythbx****: Tik Tok is the ultimate 'get stuck in your head' song. Poor Edward would want to rip his sexy hair out from listening to it in B's head and we wouldn't want that would we?**

"Are you a lover or a biter?"- More to that on Footnote.

Monday

Spotted.

The rise of Serena's reign. Rumor has it that B's been replaced. Could a certain mousy brunette chatting up not-so-lonely boy in the halls have something to do with it? I don't know but it looks like old S is back. Sorry B. Looks like you've officially been replaced. Well at least you've got some hot pasty shoulders to cry on.

You know you love me

XoXo

-GG

Blair's phone clattered to the lunchroom table, landing beside her food. She raked her hands through her hair and stared down at her niçoise salad, prepared gourmet by the Forks lunch ladies as instructed. With a sigh she kept her eyes downward, not daring to look up at the owner of said shoulders sitting next to her, no doubt giving her the same pitying look he'd been lending her all day.

Her weekend had gone from great to rock bottom and now she was having the worst day of her life.

Serena and Dan had called it quits and B had to hear it from Gossip Girl first. She knew she'd been growing steadily apart from her childhood friend but this was ridiculous. Secondly, this Amanda person; this equally trite, female version of Dan Humphrey had suddenly transferred into Constance. Amanda had set her sights for Dan, flaring up jealousy.

As usual it began on a Sunday. Her friend had called her yesterday, bright an early in the morning and not to exchange friendly pleasantries.

"B. I know it was you," she had snarled into the phone, assaulting her usually sensitive morning ears as B brushed her teeth in the bathroom, absentmindedly.

"Hello to you too S." Blair had smiled up at the mirror at her blushing reflection- totally unaware of what she had done. "So what can I do for you on this fine Sunday morning-"

"Spare me the bullshit B," S, growled and Blair's grin fell. "I've been going over this week in my head. Over and over. Trying to figure out why Penelope and her followers were doing all those mean things to Amanda and why I was getting the blame from Dan. And I foolishly thought because you were all the way in Forks and I begged you to stay out of it that you actually could be trusted, Blair." Serena's voice was tight and clenched.

Blair let go of a guilty sigh. She began to fidget with the various objects on the marble counter.

"Please. It's just Dan," she said unrepentantly. "He broke up with you and started chatting up some new transfer student right in front of you. God, S. Where's your pride? And plus, I didn't get involved…directly. I may have called up my old friends and hinted that they needed to show the new girl, little _Amanda, _the order of things at Constance."

"I should've known." Serena chuckled bitterly. "You had no right. And you went way too far this time!"

"This time? I don't know…"

"Last night, Blair! At Vitroli! Your cohorts put _Nair_ in her hair!"

"Wait a second? Are you telling me that inbred mutt ex boyfriend of yours took the new girl to Vitroli? Oh they had it coming." Blair shrugged and began to play with her hair in the mirror.

"Are you listening? She lost all of her hair, B. Because of you. And now Dan thinks I had something to do with it," she sobbed. "He actually thinks I haven't changed. He thinks that's who I am, this mean girl who does things like that to people when it was really you!"

"Who cares what that pedestrian thinks of you?" Blair rolled her unrepentant dark eyes. "And just so you know- I didn't authorize that last stunt. Penelope acted on her own and if you ask me I wouldn't blame her."

"God Blair the fact that you don't care… I just can't believe you. I hate that Dan thinks I'm anything like you."

Her hand froze over her curls mid air. Hurt flashed across her face but it was gone in an instant. "Fine," she said in a haughty voice, "If that's what I get for trying to help."

"Don't help."

Blair took a long sip of air. She felt the words fly from her mouth. Unstoppable, bitter, untrue words.

"Oh believe me I won't. And since you think I'm so horrible, I'll just let you continue living you pathetic little existence. Dan doesn't want you and you're nobody but the girl who once was Serena Van der Woodsen. Now you're just a lame lobotomized version of yourself. At least _old_ Serena wouldn't have let a guy like Dan Humphrey complexly embarrass her by bringing his little cyborg Dan-point-hoe to Vitroli with him. Old Serena would've taken some time from doing coke and other peoples' boyfriends to hold her own."

The air was silent except for the socialite's ragged breaths. Regret began to set in instantly.

"I'm pathetic," Serena said, evenly. "Well at least I can look myself in the mirror."

Blair snapped. "If I'm so horrible why are you even friends with me?"

"Good question."

A brew of emotions churned up in Blair that was coated with just enough acidic anger to keep her together. Her voiced detached bitterly. "Fine. Then I guess we have nothing to talk about."

Sneaking a shy glance up from her lunch to the table of girls clamoring over the latest gossip of Serena Van der Woodsen she stifled a groan. As usual, Serena had a way of infecting everything with Serena fever. Honestly at this point, Blair had just enough things going on in her life to not be jealous…much. Her attitude was more of a weary, "Oh, this again," than outright envy. Blair gave up. She gave in to this thing that she couldn't control for once. Sooner or later, it's all about Serena.

To make matters worse, her harsh words seemed to have taken root. From the latest gossip and picture of a lucid and barely there Serena stomping around Constance with Blair's old posy like it was Serena's World, old S was indeed back.

It was more than the old feelings of competition that arose in Blair. It was that pervasive and rarely felt feeling of guilt that gripped her. The socialite groaned at the bad taste it left in her mouth. "I think I just created a monster," she grumbled to herself.

Edward looked up from his food and pierced her with his gaze. He let out a small breath and arched his brow. "Do you want to hear what I think?" he asked suddenly.

Her eyes met his challengingly. "Are you going to take my side?"

"No."

"Then no."

And that was that. Blair would rather show up to school dressed like some sad hipster than hear Edward tell her she was wrong while taking her former friends side. Her mind trudged through the possibilities of making it through the day without stabbing someone. Edward bit back a smirk when she growled at no one in general, looking down at her food as if it had committed a great atrocity to her. Apparently Blair was in Edward Cullen mode- grumbling forlornly and ready to attack anything that spoke to her, today.

Was it just her or did the whole situation have Chuck Bass written all over it? Blair and Chuck thought alike. They were the US and the Soviet Union; they didn't wage their battles directly but used others as pawns to do it for them.

Her boyfriend gave a soft sigh and fidgeted with his fork.

Either that or she really needed to stay away from Sherlock Homes.

Hmm. She let her eyes drift over the blonde sitting several tables across from her. Ashley Zeller: the anti-Blair; Blond, evil, and a permanent thorn in her side but only recently. No one else around here was stupid enough to challenge her. Why was it that all of sudden this random hick girl felt the need to come after everything that was hers. Or was someone else pulling her strings?

It wouldn't be the first time either of them had gone that route. Amanda was stretch for anyone else but Chuck Bass. He knew her. They were the same. He knew that she was the only one who could provoke the old Serena. He knew that she could not stop herself from meddling and getting Penelope involved. And Dan was obvious. Everyone knew him enough to know he'd automatically pass moral judgments on anyone he thought was involved. And what could possibly rile than her own best friend reverting back to her old famewhoring ways and once again taking everything that was hers, all the while some little blond townie irks her nerves.

"Mother Chuker!"

Everyone's attention turned to Blair. Edward seemed to be biting his tongue. He let out a short breath and leaned into her. "I wasn't aware that _Charles Bass_ you knew you so well," he muttered quietly.

"I don't think _anyone_ knows me as much as that bastard," she uttered, absentmindedly.

Edward mouthed "Oh" and remained silent.

Jasper: _Burn._

"What are you two talking about?" Lauren asked.

"Chuck Bass," Blair's temper rose with every word. "I'm such a fool. He's totally behind all of this."

"Really?" Angela and Jessica chimed in.

"Blair I highly doubt that _he _would invest so much energy just to toy with your life," Edward mumbled, his face was completely blank.

"I'm just going to have to call him and find out since you obviously need proof," Blair supplied.

"Are you now?"

Jasper groaned. Angela, Jessica, and Lauren's eyes flitted back and forth between Blair and a much deadpanned Edward.

"Yes," Blair said, exasperation filling her voice. "I'm obviously not going to just let Chuck Bass think he's getting away with this."

"Uh huh…" Sarcasm permeated his voice.

"I mean, we all know I can stand him."

"Hmm…"

"And it'll be such a chore for me to have to hear his smarmy voice."

"Mmhmm…" Edward's lips formed a tight grimace.

Abandoning the sinking ship that was Blair's mouth, Alice put her head in her hands to shut them out completely.

"But I'll have to suffer through it because this is clearly Chuck's work."

"She's right. That's totally something Chuck would do," Jessica chimed in. Evidently the people of Forks thought they knew the student's of Constance and St. Jude intimately.

Blair opened her mouth and made a, 'I told you so' expression to which Edward resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"But I just don't see what he'd gain from doing this," Jessica continued.

"The pleasure of pissing me off!" Blair's voice shrilled; agitated that Edward wasn't taking the matter seriously. "Chuck would do anything to make me miserable. Why aren't you more pissed about this?"

"On the contrary. I'm very pissed that you think Charles spends his days thinking about you and your demise."

His biting sarcasm left the table in silence. Jasper only raised his brow and looked down at his lunch while Alice pursed her lips and pretended she wasn't there. Her friends struggled to fill the awkward silence with random fidgeting.

The sound of the bell ringing was welcomed by everyone.

As they didn't share any classes it was easy to avoid him for the last two periods. Blair spent the remainder of her day with her head down, grumbling every time someone brought the latest post of "Queen S" and wondering why Edward was being more of an ass to her than usual.

She sulked over to his locker and entered the combination, retrieving her Balenciaga bag and swapping it out for her books. She sighed. Obviously he wasn't over this summer. A hand caught the metal door before she could swing it shut. The familiar head of unruly hair and honey eyes loomed beside her. As if she hadn't been standing there he proceeded to retrieve his keys and phone from the locker and shut it.

Not making eye contact, he asked, "Are you ready to go?"

"Edward?" she began, tentatively watching his masked expression. "Today at lunch…"

"Forget it."

Tik. Tik. Tik. Tik. Boom.

"I made a mistake. Months ago. How long are you going to keep punishing me for it?" she exploded.

"Punishing you?" His face deadpanned. "Don't be so dramatic, Blair. I let that go a long time ago."

"Well then why are you acting like I'm imagining this up just so I can go talk to Chuck?"

"Interesting. I don't remember every saying those exact words."

"You're acting like it," she yelled then brought her voice down as students passed them by.

"Well sorry," he said, matter-of-factly.

"You're sorry?" she said, unconvinced.

"Sure." He shrugged. "I'm sorry for making you feel however way you seem to be feeling."

She let out a forceful breath and forced herself to smile up at him. "Eff you, Edward," she said sweetly and stormed off, not stopping until she was out in the parking lot. Stomping straight past his car, she went straight to Jessica's old Toyota.

Jessica who was leaning against her passenger door talking to Mike tensed as she approached as if expecting to be reproached. Blair rolled her eyes. "Hey," she called, paving slightly.

Mike's face lit when he saw her approach much to Jessica's disapproval. "Hey Blair."

"Hey Mike, em hey Jess…"

"Trouble in paradise?" Mike inquired nervously.

"You have no idea."

Jessica suppressed her excited smile, anticipating the juicy details.

"Ugh, boys are such douche bags sometimes," chimed Jessica, exaggeratingly.

"Hey!" Mike protested.

Jessica rolled her eyes. "Need a ride B?"

She cast the Volvo a backward glance. He was standing outside of his car casting her an imploring look. Imploring was not inviting. "Yeah…"

"Cool. Get in."

X

By the time Blair got home she was convinced that her week could not get any worse. And it was only Monday. Serena thought she was a terrible person. Edward thought she was- well she wasn't entirely sure. The both of them were nestling themselves perfectly into her shit list. She almost didn't have enough ire left for Chuck. Almost.

Letting go of a sigh she threw herself on the bed, phone in hand. She needed to be right, prove that this wasn't just something in her head. She dialed Chuck's number and cringed at the first ring, fully aware that she hadn't heard Chuck's voice since that night.

He picked up the phone and her heart dropped to her stomach.

"Blair Waldorf. To what do I owe this pleasure," Chuck's villainous sarcasm seemed through the phone. Blair steeled herself and rolled her eyes.

"Ugh. Spare me, Bass. Did you or did you not hire Amanda to transfer into Constance to date Dan Humphrey and what exactly are you giving Ashley Zeller to come after me?"

One a soft chuckle answered her rant. "Forward are we."

"Answer me, Bass."

"Hmm let me think about it." He sounded far too amused for her taste. "When was the last time we spoke, June was it?"

"Chuck, I'm serious!"

"Blair if you think I did all these thinks, you can hardly expect me to own up to it," he said and she felt stabbed by the truth of his words. The amusement in his voice frayed her nerves. "So I'm obviously correct in assuming that this is a pleasure call."

Her mouth opened but no words came. So many feeling gripped her but the anguish in knowing that both he and Edward made the same assumption bothered her the most.

"What's the matter, Blair? Is the monotony of dull Forks finally getting to you for you to miss poor old Chuck?"

"Eff you," she snapped.

Chuck smirked. "Ah yes, please."

"Ugh. Gross."

"Oh come on Blair. You can't possibly tell me your stoic Mr. Cullen is satisfying all your needs." His words were grating her nerves, clenching her fists, and pressing her knees together. His voice was so pervasively close she could almost feel his hot breath against her neck.

"That's none of your business," she said feverishly.

"Hmm just as I thought," he chuckled darkly. "Shall I send my jet or will First class be more discrete?"

"W-what? Are yo- are you propositioning me?" She had more words to say on this matter but mouth just wouldn't cooperate. His audacity astounded her. How did her innocently trying to confront him turn into him propositioning her in less than 5 minutes? Any why was she acting so shocked. This was exactly to be expected from Bass. Was Edward right? Was she asking for trouble?

God she hated when Edward was right.

"Is that a yes?"

"What! No! I'm not going to- are you- I'm _dating _Edward."

"And?" He shrugged. "Lover-boy isn't meeting your needs. I can-"

"I didn't say that."

"Oh but your voice says it all."

At the she clamped her mouth shut seething.

"How about you throw something on sinful and I send a car to pick you up and take you to the airport in thirty minutes?"

"And why would I do that?"

"Because you want to," he said simply. "And because I –em- we need this one last time. It's the only way either of us will ever move on," he reasoned calmly as if that made perfect logic.

Tik. Tik. Tik.

Boom.

"You want to have sex with me to get me out of you system?!"

"Well…yes…"

"Uh no no no!" Blair shook her head, disbelieving. "I'm not you goddamn sexual Drano."

"Never said you were," he stated calmly.

"Good. Bye. Chuck." She hung up and threw her phone across the room.

Reeling. The conversation replayed itself through her mind. His coaxing voice lingered in her system like a drug. She shook her head to clear the viscous haze. Her knees were turning red from being pressed together so tightly. Finally she relaxed them and let out a frustrated breath.

_Note to self; don't ever call Chuck when I'm sexually frustrated. _

_Other note to self: don't ever call Chuck, period._

She didn't like that Edward didn't trust her motives. And she definitely didn't like that Chuck made her feel as though she couldn't be trusted either. It was like their mutual levels of deviousness cancelled her conscience out. She didn't like it. It made her feel weak and vulnerable. Like she was easy prey or something.

With a short sigh she pushed off from her bed and padded over to her dresser, her head lulling to each side, appraising the fading little splotches of pink along her neck. Skipping the foundation, she swept her hair up with her hands and pulled in into a sloppy bun. Too rushed to finish her hair to perfection for the sudden scraping of her hair against her inner wrist made her hyper sensitive scar tingle and she rushed to pull her hand away.

What a well adjusted teen she turned out to be. One guy treated her like sexual prey and the other literally wanted to eat her alive. When did she become the poster child for cheesy harlequin novels with men with frilly, half-open, shirt on them?

She sighed. The only person she wanted to quell her frustration was her sexually unattainable boyfriend. Boundaries. Always the boundaries. What she wouldn't give to be testing those boundaries right now.

Luckily for her, Edward never stayed angry with her for very long. And if he was, she was pretty sure she could find something to assuage him. She threw on her favorite lacy push up bra and covered it with a droopy black tank top and dark wash shorts. Throwing on a light trench coat and slip in flats, she was out the door and driving in her death-mobile.

X

Blair felt unsure. Standing outside of his house, not even certain if he was there. She didn't bother to call. She knew she was welcome at the Cullen house whenever she wanted. As usual, she didn't even need to knock. Her loud truck if not her scent announced her arrival. The door flew open and she was surprised to see Emmett. His hulking figure eclipsed the doorway as his predator eyes raked her over.

"We don't need any cookies."

"Har Har."

He smirked and stepped into the house allowing her to walk in. As usual the house was welcomingly warm. She slid off her coat and set it on the rack and stepped out of her flats.

"What's up?"

"Nothing, you caught me in the middle of ripping this trash talking Japanese kid apart."

Blair's eyes rounded.

"Shit." Emmett's burly chest trembled with laughter. "The look on your face. No. Damn. I'm playing Halo. See?" He held up the controller in his hand.

_God I'm such a freak. _"Oh hah. I knew that."

He didn't stop laughing as she followed him into the living room. For once the house was quite except for the clicking of his controller as he quickly sat down and rejoined his game. Blair took a quick panorama of the house and sat next to him.

"Where's everyone?"

"Carlisle's at work. Esme and Rose are shopping, I'm not sure about Jasper and Alice and I never know where Edward is."

"Hmm…okay…" She tried not to show her disappointment.

"You and Spock having a fall-out?" He dark bushy eye brow quirked mischievously.

_Har. Har. _Blair stifled a smile, not wanting to encourage him. "No," she answered defiantly and then pouted. "_Spock _and I are fine… why did he say something?"

Gunfire exploded from the TV and his concentration shifted to the game. He spoke to her dismissingly without making eye contact. "I don't know. I figure you don't bring out the lacy push up unless somebody's pissed."

Blair gasped and looked down at her shirt then reached out and smacked him on the arm. "What? Perve- how did you-?"

A slow smile crept along his profile. "What can I say; I know my bras and panties."

"You would," was all she could manage. "You're such a perve."

"And yeah, he's totally pissed at you," Emmett confessed, shrugging. His eyes never left the Halo game. His thumbs continued to hammer rhythmically on the controller.

"What? What'd he say!?"

Emmett shrugged and made a dismissing grunt. "Hmm something about you not being over Chuck."

"What?" Immediately the socialite was on her feet, pacing back and forth. Emmett craned his neck as she was blocking the TV.

"B, can you move over to the side-?"

"That is such bullshit. What kind of mind reader is he? I mean Chuck is the one pulling all these strings to make my life miserable and what, am I supposed to just lie there and take it."

"Mmm that's a thought."

"Emmett, focus!"

The vampire sighed and nodded obediently. "Alright so what did he say when you called him out on it?"

Blair stilled. "Well…nothing really… I mean he didn't admit it but…"

"And did that surprise you?"

"No…" Her body wanted to collapse in defeat. She just couldn't win today. Even Emmett was outsmarting her. "But that doesn't mean I'm not over him."

"Hey look I'm not here to judge." He shrugged. "And Blair I usually don't like women prancing around in front of me and my game unless there's a pole involved."

"Emmett do you think of anything other than sex," she exploded and flailed her arms emphatically just as Emmett, who meant to throw the controller onto the coffee table in front of him, over shot his strength and the black object went slinging past Blair and straight into the collection of African Jars behind her.

The cacophony of clattering made her jump and stumble backwards. Something large and sharp met her foot the moment it touched the ground. She yelped and froze in her place, afraid to take any more hazardous steps. The pain was excruciating. There were tiny shards of ceramic surrounding her bare feet. Her legs seemed to be turning pale and suddenly the flood under her left food left warm and wet.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

A pair of crisp white sneakers joined her, standing in front of her bare toes. She would have stumbled back if Emmett's hands hadn't grasped her by her arms. "Hey I've got you," he said as he steadied her. "It's okay; it's just me and you. I'll clean this up."

She shifted her weight and brought her leg off of the floor by inches. He held her still as she waned forward. Steady drops off red splattered out from her heel, sprinkling all over his white sneaker. Something was still lodged in there. The pain was unbearable.

"Sorry Emmett," she garbled, forcing her head back up so that she could look at Emmett's face. "God, between my blood and your clumsiness, the both of us are making a mess. Lucky for us no one else is here to see what huge spasses we are."

Tik.

A strange feeling suddenly overcame her when he was slow to answer. She suddenly became aware of how tall he was and how large his arms were around her. He could almost crush her like a bug if he wanted. She laughed her thoughts away as Emmett held her wobbling body upright.

"Yeah… lucky for us…it's just me and you."

Tik.

**So…as I said I'm updating Friday so please please review everyone. Let's get 20 reviews for this chap!**

**Food for thought:**

**1.) "Old Serena"- What do you think of the fight? I pulled much of that plot straight out of season 2. Team S? Team B? Who's right here?**

**2.) Chuck Bass- WFT? I know. I know. Feel free to rant. Team Chuck or Team Vampard or as my favorite website might say; are you a lover or a biter? (Please begin your review with either LOVER for Chuck or BITER for Edward.)**

**3) Edward- Douche bag or wise man or a little bit of both. What do you think?**

**4.) Emmett- Funny? Lame? Do we like him here? **

**5.) African Vases- Why are they always breaking? **


	6. Monster's Ball

**AN: Here's Part 1. Part 2 will be up soon. Thanks for reviewing guys. **

**Miss Anthrope: ****B and Em? Now THAT'S a naughty thought. I'm not gonna lie. I kinda like them as a pair. Wish someone would write a fic for them…**

**Sirkyt: ****Such insightful readers. I'm glad you like the flaws. B and E are destined to be a little combative. One's a mellow brooder who thinks he knows everything and one is a spoilt, selfish, little hellion. But love conquers all…maybe…**

**Finlover: ****Thank you. Part of what I love about writing B is that she is both over-the-top and a NORMAL teenager. Sometimes you just don't get over your ex.**

Blair eyed Emmett in wonder. There was something dark and unfamiliar playing along his impish smirk.

"Blood."

"Excuse me?"

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "You asked me what else I think about. I think about blood too."

The room shifted. The ceramic crunched under his shoes as he carried her out of the room cautiously, and walked them into the kitchen. He set her down atop the kitchen counter with her foot in the sink. Cold water running over it.

"I mean, yeah…you're a vampire, so…" She let her attention drift away from the uneasy feeling in her stomach to the kitchen sink. Laughably enough she almost expected him to be sprinkling her with salt and pepper.

"What are you smiling about?" His eyebrow rose, giving him that roughish look of benign mischief again.

She suppressed her smile. "Nothing…why am I in the kitchen sink?" she asked. "And bleeding all over it…gross…"

"Calm down princess. No one actually uses this kitchen. It doesn't look that bad. Just a splinter stuck in there, I think"

He watched the red water run from he foot into the metal sink.

"When I was alive, I helped my mom make pot roast once," he suddenly announced. "I just remembered that."

"I once helped Dorota make pumpkin pie," Blair blurted out nervously, watching his eyes darken. Those eyes which were fixated on the endless stream of blood running down the drain.

"It was bloody and raw like you, and my mom had it sitting under the sink with water running over it," he said.

She said, "I ended up eating it whole on the kitchen floor by myself." Her hands fidgeted anxiously. He was so close to her. She had no idea what had prompted her to share that bit of information.

He smirked, never taking his eyes off the sink. His cold hands were turning her foot this way and that under the stream. His giant hulking figure was comically contrasted by his gentle ways, his head of curly liquorish hair and his dimpled grin.

"That's a weird story," he said after a long silence.

"Yeah... stories are like that sometimes." She watched the endless red stream wash down the drain and chuckled nervously. Her dark eyes drifted to Emmett who had let her foot go completly. He had has his palms to the air as if under siege.

"Emmett?"

"Hey…uh…maybe I should go. You can finish…this." His voice sounded gruff and dangerous.

"Are you okay?"

"Blair… I'm trying not to hurt you alright."

_Whoa. Did he just actually use my real name? This can't be good. _"Emmett if you're kidding around, I swear to God."

"Clean yourself up and go okay." He took slow steps backwards.

Suddenly one vital piece of information slid into place. One epic failure to associate on her part. Because she didn't understand food. What a pie was to a real person. Or pot roast for that matter.

Her breathing escalated but she felt chin nod spastically. What was happening? Emmett was just laughing and joking with her earlier today. And now she was the pot roast. His eyes were the same shade as hers and he looked beastly. She knew she should be leaving but she was too afraid to make any sudden movements. He was still watching the sink like feral cat about to pounce.

"Today, princess," he growled and she jumped.

She closed her eyes to block out his face and swung her leg out of the sink. Still sitting on the counter with both feet towards the floor she felt the cool liquid drip off her skin. They reopened. There was warm blood dripping to the tile, forming a wet puddle. She looked up. He was still standing in front her but his hands were balled in fists at his sides. Emmett wasn't looking at her now. His neck was turned and from his profile she could see that he was looking off into nothing. His body went rigid then he turned to her.

"Fuck." He looked up at her with a new expression. He looked worried. "Blair, get down from the counter."

She complied warily looking at him, still afraid to move too quickly. He looked like he would pounce at any minute. Down she slid until her bare feet touched to cool tile. She hissed at the contact with the splinter and balanced her weight one foot, the other one her toes.

"Emmett, what's going on?"

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."

"Emmett!" she screamed, now feeling very terrified.

He looked at her with a lost expression and she wondering what was happening.

"Blair. Run. Run straight up to Edward's room and lock the door and don't open it for anyone. Not even me. Now!"

Blair's body seemed to process his words faster than her head. She sprinted from the kitchen, not feeling a thing as the ceramic wedged further into the palm of her foot. She slid on her blood into the living room and bolted for the stairs. Taking them two at a time she had reached the 2nd floor when the front door smashed against the wall. She froze. It was Jasper looking crazed and straight up at her. His eyes were black. His blond hair was matted and wild against his face. His body was poised a feral cat ready to spring at her. She didn't recognize a trace of the boy she'd joked with. Who she'd come to love as her family. Emmett either. She felt frozen in fear. Cold sweat prickled her skin. He smiled. He was reveling in her terror.

"Run, Blair!" Emmett came from nowhere and collided into Jasper. The sound of their bodies knocking into each other was like smashing two mountains together. She screamed. Emmett with all his strength seemed to be struggled to keep him in his grasp. "Blair!"

She bolted. Straight into Edward's room and locked it. Terrified she backed away from the door slowly. The sound of grinding boulders was getting louder and louder. Shaking. She backed all the way into his closet where she collapsed onto the floor, trembling.

She had no idea why this was happening. She'd never been so blindsided and afraid in her life. Not even of James. But Jasper and Emmett were like her older brothers. She played with them, joked, them, slept under the same roof. But they way Emmett looked at her. First he was tending to her and being so kind and gentle and then, snap. He was looking at her like a cereal killer in a brothel. And Jasper. Was he actually trying to kill her? For as long as she lived which was certain wasn't going be another 5 minutes, she would never forget that look. The cacophony of sounds assaulted her like blows to the face. She pressed her eyes shut, wishing it away. Her cheeks felt wet.

_Blair there's something I need to tell you…about me…and Serena…_

The banging continued. She put her hands over her ears to block out the god awful sound and rocked back and forth. Breathing like a pregnant woman at Lamas.

_No, S… S! Watch the traffic…Jeez! Silly drunk. What would you do without me to protect you?_

She watched the door from the closet as the grappling got closer and closer.

_Blair…I heard you…in the bathroom with the sink on…_

Blair flinched with each loud thud like a child jumping at crackling thunder.

_This is Doctor Schwartz. He's going to help you with your condition._

It was futile. From the sounds of it Emmett alone couldn't hold Jasper back. Evidently he really wanted her dead. She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them. She bowed her head so that her forehead rested on her knees and breathed deeply.

_Oh, and that's Edward Cullen. He's kind of a loner. _

Suddenly everything became still. The banging disappeared. Blair looked up and opened her eyes to silence.

She gazed out of the closet to the door wondering if it was safe to move. As much as she tried her body was a broken doll. Her limbs wouldn't budge. She sighed. Where was Edward and why was it so quiet all of a sudden?

Suddenly the handle turned. It was quiet and subtle. A thousand needles swarmed like bees around her body, waiting to stab as she watched that door handle turn this way and that to no avail. _Oh. Shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. _Then came a knock-- a soft and civilized knock. Blair was breathing like a linebacker again, hugging her knees.

_Oh no. Oh no. Uh no. _

"Blair." It was calm and coaxing. "Blair it's just me. Unlock the door."

It was Carlisle's familiar voice.

Her entire being seemed unwind and unravel on the spot. Finally her body released her and she stood up on wobbly legs, balancing on one foot. She set palm against the wall for support and dragged it all the way to the door.

"Emmett says I shouldn't open the door for anyone but Edward." Her own voice surprised her. It was raspy and hoarse. She realized that she had been crying.

"Blair darling don't be afraid," he said in a soft voice used for speaking to scared animals. "You know I'm not going to hurt you. You're hurt and I need to examine your cut."

"Yeah. Examine it with your teeth," she countered like a defiant child.

A musical chuckle sounded. Was he laughing at her? She crossed her arms and sniffled. "Where's Edward?"

"Downstairs. It's only he and I and Blair he cannot come up with you still bleeding. Now open the door let me attend to that."

"W-well…how do I know you won't turn on me, like Emmett and Jasper?" she demanded. Her voice sounded small and scared.

"Because I'm still standing here even though I can easily break this door down." Her breath hiked. "Blair, please. I would sooner maim myself than to harm any of my children."

"Okay," she breathed, steeling herself. Her trembling hand reached out and turned the lock.

The beautiful blond entered and she took several hobbles backwards. On their lives neither Carlisle nor Edward downstairs would forget the look on her face. The way she looked at him with those bright dough eyes, wide with fear.

Edward stood in the living room staring at the trail of bloody footprints leading up the stairs in anguish. The fairytale was unraveling at the seems. He saw himself. He saw what she saw when she looked at him. He saw his mentor, the closest he could ever be to a having a soul, in her eyes and it was terrifying.

Carlisle with all his beauty and angelic features seemed contorted and twisted like some old racist caricature. His beauty seemed to mock instead calm. He was tall and imposing like a petrified old tree. There was an almost demonic quality to his lightness.

And then he saw her. Edward collapsed into the couch and put his head in his eyes. Because he would never, ever be able to erase the image of what Blair looked like.

"Good heaven's Blair! What happened to you?"

**Footnote:**

**Review= Love. Your love= My Drug. **

**Wow so it seems we've got a lot of BITERS here. Hell yeah! Hold on to your inappropriate Twilight panties because Part 2 is coming soon. **

**This is a short chapter but I laid a lot of foundation here to hopefully make the things to come more understandable. What do you think??**

**Are you a LOVER or a BITER? Or are you secretly wishing B and Em would get it on. Then you're definitely a HUGGER. **


	7. Speechless

**AN: Yeah, I know. I've got some "spainin'" to do. Basically my computer crashed and I loosed everything not backed up on my flash drive (which is most of this chapter). Then I was too discouraged to re-write it all. I still am. So I'm flash forwarding and summing up what was missed. I'm really sorry guys. But this chapter for the most part was already written and is pretty close to heart since (As my prequel readers may know) I was recently "New Mooned". Nevertheless- this completes part one of Back to Black. The next chapter will be a whole other animal and a huge departure. Thank you readers who have stayed with me. And please REVIEW so I know you're still around.**

**Review = PREVIEW!**

**Mood Music:**

**The Wolves- Bon Iver**

**Speechless- Lady Gaga**

**Also: If you'd like to get a feel for Part 2 check out my YouTube playlist. The links on my profile. **

Someday my pain, someday my pain,

Will mark you.

Rare sunlight filtered into Blair's room and speckled over her eyelids. She started groaning as her arms attempted to swat the offending light away in vain. She groaned again, her arms flinging towards the general direction of her nightstand and capturing her phone. She pulled it into the bed with her.

"Damn it, I'm late for school." She zombied up from bed in a daze, jolted back to reality as the gauze pad and band aid nestled into her sore heel. "What the-?"

"Oh shit."

Immediately she made a scrambled dash towards the bathroom to brush her teeth and to wash the tear streaked puffiness away from her face. She let her naturally curly hair loose to billow down her back and shoulders and rushed to her room. The sunlight had retreated as quickly as it had come and her room reverted to its overcast ever-evening lit glow. Blair quickly donned a loose fitting dress that hit her mid-thigh and snatched her phone, taking light yet hurried steps down the stairway.

En route, she dialed his phone and much to her aggravation it immediately went to voicemail.

"Edward…Hey. I um… last night my reaction might have been a tad bit excessive and I know you're probably not talking to me since I basically cowered away from you like some abused housewife and told you I needed space but…"

Reaching the living room, she spotted her purse strewn carelessly on the couch. She anchored the phone against her shoulder and rifled through it in search of her keys.

"I've calmed down since and I don't want you to think I'm holding this against you. I'm not saying I'm going to automatically forgive Jasper or feel comfortable around your family but I'm not running off and I'm not going anywhere…except to your house so you better be there packing up all the sharp/ breakable objects."

Her hand located the jagged keys and she immediately bounded towards the door. "Okay. I'll see you th-"

Her phone cluttered against the wood floor the moment she flung her door open and saw who was precipitously standing on her doorstep. She gasped with surprise and took an instinctive step back. Not waiting for an invite, he stepped into her house and closed the door. His honey eyes raked over her only briefly then flitted off around the room as if Charlie had purchased new furniture.

He was silent. She was silent. Her phone lay in pieces on the ground. A feeling of guilt permeated the air between them. She felt guilty for feeling spastic and afraid. He didn't have to say it; they had reverted back to square one.

"I was just coming to see you," she stammered and he finally settled his eyes on her. "I- um… thought a lot about last night."

He gave a quick nod and put his hands in his pockets, perusing the room again with his eyes. He seemed detached and busy. She wondered if she was holding him up from something.

She couldn't help but to feel slighted but never the less she continued. "Not just last night but… what happened earlier… with Chuck."

"Blair."

"You should've trusted me and you should've been there last night. But it doesn't matter because I just want to move on."

"Blair…"

"I know it may take awhile for your family and me to be close again but-"

"Blair, my family and I are leaving. I've come to tell you goodbye."

"I love you and I'm willing to w-"She looked up at him in shock. Her mind slowly back peddled through what was said. "What? No!"

She rushed to him and he didn't fight her, only braced her from contact with his hands at her hips. "Edward, this is no time to be Emo." She almost wanted to shake him if she could. Her hands braced themselves on his shoulders. "Did you not hear what I just said? I don't _care._ Last night- I'll get over it. In fact I'm over it right now."

His nostrils flared slightly as he looked down at her. He wretched his hands from her hips self consciously and pulled them up to his shoulders, taking her hands off of him slowly.

Blair was confused. The actions spelled rejection and she didn't like it. It made her want to push more.

"Blair this has nothing to do with last night," he said quietly.

"Really?!" she said in disbelief.

"We've been here for much too long and we're starting to raise suspicions. It's time that we move on."

"Move on?" She felt her eyes tingle and burn. "I- don't. I-don't understand. I-cant. I can't just pick up and move, Edward. I've already applied to Yale. We're almost a month into school. W-what am I supposed to- I'll have to pack up all my things. I- can't- what would I tell my parents? Charlie? I-"

"You're not coming with me."

"Like hell, I'm not!" He was giving her too much to process and he was looking bored and annoyed all the while doing it. It unnerved her- to see this beautiful perfect creature looking at her thusly. She wondered what she'd done to garner his contempt.

"Why would you say that? I can't just not come with you. I mean, unless you want to stay here and let your family go- which honestly would make more sense since I doubt you'd be as suspicious by yourself. I just don't understand why _you_ have to leave too."

"Blair, please sit down," he said.

She ignored him. "Why can't you stay for the rest of the year until we go to Yale together like we planned?" Her liquid eyes searched his pleadingly.

"I _want_ to go. _I _have to move on," he said evenly. His eyes found it difficult to meet hers.

The air between them went dead. It was like their phone line got connected and the dial tone had set in. Blair's brain seemed to flat line. She waited for her mind to re-start when suddenly everything became hilariously clear.

"You're breaking up with me," she announced, her mouth curling into a definite smile. She chuckled several times while he just stared at her as if she had lost her mind. "Are you trying to tell me that you're breaking up with me?" She asked incredulously.

He sighed and looked away, granting her access to his angular profile. "Yes," he almost whispered then faced her again. "Yes, that is what I'm getting at."

"Why!?" she demanded with shock and incredulity in her voice. When Nate had broken her heart she was destroyed. When Edward had told her he was leaving her the first time she was angry. But this was some bull shit and she wasn't having any of it. She laughed at the idea of Edward thinking he was leaving her.

He allowed himself to look at her then. Really look at her for the last time. Her smock-like little dress and dark tresses framing her shoulder to her pale skin and pouted lips to her puffy ebony eyes. He allowed himself to look her in the eyes and say, "Blair, I don't love you."

The statement was so sobering she had nothing to say in response. Her amusement died and her pout fell agape.

"I'm…so sorry that I've let my fixation with you and your blood get out of hand," he confessed uncomfortably. "And it was selfish of me to let this go on as long as it did. I'm so sorry Blair for leading you on so. It was selfish and cruel of me but I guess that's always been a part of who I am."

She watched his mouth moving, petrified and frozen. She wanted to run and hide somewhere where she didn't have to hear what was coming out of his mouth but it just kept coming.

"I once told you that I'm a good liar, but I'm finished with this lie and lying to you, Blair."

She let her eyes catch his and braved herself with every fiber of her being.

"I'm leaving."

His eyes were diming out like the last vestige of a Christmas fire. A cold entity filled her bones, driving away her warmth till she literally shivered. She clenched her hands into fists to hang on to the feeling there.

There was too much pain in her. Too much hurt. She wanted to shake and cry and break things but she couldn't. Instead she felt her whole body crumble and break from the inside. From the deepest darkest crevices of herself. His words shattered her in half and left her parts piled outside on his driveway like a garage sale.

'_Slightly used socialite. Pretty but severely damaged. Possibly irreparable'. _

Was this some sick joke?

She became mildly aware that she was devouring the air as if oxygen was going extinct. She tried to think of something to say but she literally had no words. Again, was this a joke? She didn't know how to grasp what was happening. When your boyfriend tells you he never loved you, it's astounding but when Edward Cullen, who's basically obsessed with you, tells you such things you want to laugh and say, 'Oh stop kidding around". But he wasn't joking. He was looking at her as if she was nothing to him.

She'd never seen that look on his face before. Not once. Not even when he practically acted as if he despised her last year. This was a new look. A new face. This haughty detached, 'bored at the opera' look he was giving her was making her lose her grasp. She wanted to shake him until he looked at her with the same love she swore she'd always seen before.

She had to keep talking. The silence was driving her mad.

"So…what, you didn't ever love me?" She said, her voice was horse and burning but it felt good. Like salt salving her wounds. She needed to hold on to that feeling. "You just _pretended _to love me? You just wrote me a song just because? You write everybody songs, what? Is this what you do, Edward? Every decade or so just show up in some young girl's life, profess your undying love to them so that you can use them and then just leave?"

Edward didn't even blink. His face never changed, not even a flicker of emotion. He gave a simple and matter-of-fact, "No." It was like she was talking to a hologram. His indifference to her anguish was making her considerably livid. And anger felt good.

"Fuck you, Edward!" she shouted at his hollow figure. He winced. Finally a response. Her mind began pacing. "Fuck you and your little 'nice-guy' façade. You act like you're _so _sweet. When in fact you are the worst one! You're ten times worse than Chuck Bass. He at least is forthcoming about his douchbaggary. No you're, 'Hi I'm Edward Cullen the friendly vampire. Oh let me play you a song I wrote. Oh let me just sweep you off your feet and take you to Tiffany's'. And then you just use people and leave." She looked up from the floor to meet his eyes as shame molded his features. "I hate you"

A lie never felt so good. It felt so good she wanted to say it again.

"I'm sorry." He sighed and looked up at her watery eyes. She looked so weak, so on the edge of being broken. Only her anger was keeping her together. "But Blair, I never pretended to be good for you. Never once. I don't know what I could have done to convince you that I'm a nice-guy but I'm not. And I've always been forthcoming with you about that. But I am sorry that I hurt you. I should have never let you get so attached…"

"Attached!" she shouted, cutting him off. "What the hell is wrong with you!? I _love _you, you heartless bastard!" She steeled herself. "And you…you…said, 'no one in the world can love you as much as I do'" She made quotations with her fingers in the air.

"We went over this, Blair," he said as if she were wasting his precious time. Oh silly Blair, holding the vampire up with her folly. Don't you know he has other girls to crush? "I should have never said those things but they were largely in the moment and I'm so sorry. And you're right. I am a heartless bastard for doing this to you."

"No!" She shouted fisting her hands. She couldn't be so stupid. She'd been here before. She was too wise for this. "You're lying to yourself. Alice, everyone, _Jasper_, you know the empath, says you love me. And dearly too."

The muscles in his jaw clenched and released. She rushed to him with a need so strong to be close to him. Fighting words flew from her mouth as she flung herself to him, her arms wrapped around his waist and her head wrested on his chest.

"Please, don't do this. You're confused but I know you love me. Just stay. Please. Stay and we'll figure it out," she begged. "I know I'm not the easiest person to be with. I'm selfish and catty, I know. I'm sorry. I'm a bitch. I'll change. I promise. Just don't leave me."

His hands grasped her shoulders and tugged her away. Her arms unclasped from him abruptly like tentacles loosing suction. He looked down at her. Anger flickered across his eyes, but only briefly. "Blair, don't do this to yourself," he said, his voice agitated. He was _agitated_. She _agitated_ him.

"Blair, I'm a vampire. I wanted your blood obsessively. I'm not surprised if Jasper felt my strong attachment to you. You're easy to obsess over," he said, matter-of-factly.

She stared off into space. She was unplugged. Her body could no longer respond, just stare at him, mouth partially agape. "You're perfect and I'm sorry I did this to you."

"I promise you'll never have to see me again. It will be as if I never existed and you can and _will_ move on, Blair. Hate me if you want but Blair, please. Don't do anything reckless."

And then he was gone. She didn't even hear his footsteps retreat or her front door shut. She just stood there like a zombie. Cold, dead, unfeeling, unloved, Blair. Alone. Abandoned. Unloved.

Again.

**End Part I**

**End Notes:**

**Sorry again for the brevity. I lost everything and I didn't have a computer for awhile. Like, Blair I can only salvage what I have and press on. Hopefully despite its shortness it conveyed the emotions to you guys. **

**So this is my version. Much of it was similar. Absolutely nothing will be similar in the upcoming Part II. Not even Blair. She's going to be a whole different person entirely. **

**Food for thought: What do you think of my version? Too short- I know! What about Blair's reactions? The way Edward handled it? Are any of you still team BITER ? Any of you seriously going to miss Edward for the rest of this story? (In terminator voice) "He'll be back!" But in the meantime, I've got some serious fun to have with Blair. Say goodbye to Edward and Blair. Say hello to….**

"**Serena **_**Noire**_**" **


	8. Empire State

**Music:**

**We Walk- The Ting Tings**

**Empire State of Mind- Jay-Z/Alicia Keys**

**REVIEW =PREVIEW**

**~ Part II ~**

Life sucks and then you die.

But when you don't…

Sooner or later you live long enough to see it all come full circle.

January 2006

**Spotted… Could it be? **

**Maybe I'm just a little desperate for some drama but this brunet making her way through JFK bears a striking resembles to someone I used to know. Bridget or Brenda…or something. Hmm…Nah. It couldn't be. **

**But if it is- Readers, I only have one thing to say. **

**Long live the Queen. **

**You know you love me. **

**XoXo**

**G.G.**

The twisted black rot iron railings against the stark façade of beige stone and little triangle shaped greenery were like a jolt to the senses. So jarring and unfamiliar. So unlike the overcast sea of faded green and varied gray. The jungle was alive with the distant steady buzz of horns and tires and the not-so-distant jingle of little 14 carat gold dog tags dangling from miniature white creatures among the quickening steps of expensive heels slapping the asphalt.

"That's the last of your bags, miss." The driver let the trunk slide shut and placed the last leather bag on its wheels. The suited man gave a quick side glance to the curb side black Lincoln then back at her, expectantly.

Her hand found her key, the driver impatiently bundled her luggage around him, and walked up the shallow pavement, the little stone steps, and put her key to the regent black door. Her boots were clunky against the checkered marble as she stepped into the large foyer and inhaled that familiar smell of polished silver and musty wood.

Home.

The man clamored behind her to collect a small pyre of bags at the center of the room. She tipped him. He nodded and gave a semi-bow, then showed his way out.

Leaving on her coat, she ascended the winded staircase to her room. The midday light streamed stark and crisp through the cream linens and Marie Antoinette blue walls. She slumped off her coat, letting it fall to the floor and collapsed, face forward, into her bed. The pillows muffled her guttural scream and took the beating as her fists rained down.

"Mees Blair."

She froze and rolled around, wiping her eyes hurriedly to face her modern day lady in waiting. Dorota barely waited for her to stand before rushing her with hugs.

"I was at airport waiting, but desk say you land early. Oh so vanderful to have to back, Mees Blair."

She managed to force a weak smile for her childhood maid.

"Let me look at you." Dorota held her at arm's length and examined the broken doll before her. "You look so different. So like grown woman."

"Technically I am," Blair sighed and looked away, avoiding her eyes. "I feel ancient."

The older woman's eyes widened. "That's right. November!"

She gave another pained smile. "It's alright. It wasn't much of a birthday."

"Oh Blair, since when you get so serious?" She moved her hand to her temple in a cosseting fashion and let it drift through her mass of dark scrounged hair. "And what would Mees Eleanor say about this wild hair, hmm?"

Her mother would call the authorities if she ever saw her hair in such a sad state of split ends and outgrown lowlights.

"Agh. Must make appointment." Dorota shuttered. "No matter. Come," she tugged her slightly towards the door. "I make cookies and you tell me all about dreadful boy."

Before she knew it she was sitting on her kitchen barstool watching Dorota pretend as if cutting slices of rolled cookie dough was baking from scratch. She scooted the batch into the oven and spun around, examining the silent stranger before her. The unkempt brunette stared lucidly off into the distance. Looking as serene as an alarm clock twenty seconds before 7AM.

"How is everything, Mees Blair?" she asked with heavy concern.

"Hmm?" She didn't even look at her. Dorota furrowed her brow, wishing for a pout, even the slightest little gesture of her impish insouciance. Nothing.

Dorota observed her for a long time. Several minutes ticked on.

"How is uncle?" she tried again.

"Tired," Blair answered then let their eyes meet. "He ran out of ways to deal with me."

"Silly child. Such nonsense. What's there to be tired of."

"I don't know…" Alas there was that pout. "Apparently I have that effect on people…"

Dorota shook her head dismissingly. "Nonsense," she muttered to herself as she retrieved the now baked cookies from the oven and set them onto the granite.

"I get nightmares…loud ones," she sighed out. "I guess the poor man has to sleep eventually."

Dorota frowned and poured her a glass of milk. She eyed the cookies warily for awhile in a sort of standoff-ish fashion before giving in to weary hunger and taking one, picking off tiny pieces as if one cookie were an entire meal.

Round 1: Blair: 1. Cookies:0.

The maid watched the girl searchingly. "Blair…"

The approaching quickened heals interrupted her. Suddenly the kitchen of warmth and cookies became tainted with the scent of textile and Chanel No. 5.

Eleanor stomped into the kitchen in a hurried daze, setting her bag onto the counter and examining the transaction before her in slight confusion. Her daughter- sitting at the counter eating cookies. "Oh my goodness. I swear, my brain sometimes… "She shook her head in self disapproval then examined her daughter… and her unkempt state. "Blair, your hair darling."

"I mean, you're _here_." She walked over to her barstool and gave her an awkward hug. Her hands grasped her daughter's mass of tangled in horror. "And what is this? Oh no no, darling what on Earth have those Forks salons been doing to your hair."

"Yes…I… "Blair attempted to explain herself numbly. Not sure why she still needed her mother's approval at this point.

"No matter," her mother dismissed. "I'll see if Henry can squeeze you in for an appointment after school tomorrow. Thank God for headbands till then."

"School?" She began to feel panic's stab at her abdomen.

"I stoke to the Headmistress last week and although Constance frowns at your constant skipping about they've agreed to take you for the last semester- granted you maintain your GPA."

"Great…" Blair mumbled sarcastically.

Eleanor caught her little comment and paused. She glanced at Dorota who immediately began to putter around the kitchen, pretending to be occupied.

"I thought you'd be happy?" Eleanor said her voice less stringent and almost vulnerable. "And all your friends go to Constance…"

"Don't I look happy, mother?" she asked, her face deadpanned.

Eleanor glanced at Dorota, who was wiping the same counter spot repeatedly then back at her daughter, letting go of a weary sigh.

"Talk to me Blair," Eleanor pleaded. "What on earth is going on with you? Charlie says you don't speak- to anyone. You won't talk any of your friends."

"I don't know what you want me to say," Blair muttered.

"Blair…The last time someone broke up with you I had to send you to your uncle- You were so out of control. What are you going to do Blair? Are you going to lash out? Resent me, because I refuse to let you ruin your life by sitting around pining for him? Edward- he's gone Blair. And you just have to deal with that and move on."

"Yes, mother. You seem to be the expert. Why don't you tell me exactly what I should do- School, school, and Yale. That'll make it better, right?" Blair whispered in a mockingly calm and even voice.

Her eyes widened. A pang of hurt flashed through her cool demeanor and she snapped. "Well excuse me, Blair for trying to salvage your future for you and get you into school. Clearly I should be more _understanding_ of your plans of wallowing over a boy and eating cookies all day. I-"

"Uh _Gyeod_," Dorota muttered aloud in her thick accent as Blair's passively cool demeanor crumbled into pain and frustration. She tossed the half eaten cookie into the counter and slid from the barstool, shooting Eleanor a look of mutiny as she stomped from the room. Dorota and Eleanor did not need to ask her where she was going.

The older socialite put her head in her hand and released a ragged sigh.

"I make appointment for Doctor Schwartz," Dorota offered knowingly.

**AN: Hi Guys. See. I told you I'd be updating more regularly. Aren't you proud- it's only been a week and some change. Baby steps… Do I get a cookie for my efforts and by cookie I do mean review. **

**Splainin' Time: No. I do not by any means mean to make this whole story about Blair's Bulimia. Honestly I wish her problems were so simple. But they're not. I have issues addressing her bulimia directly so this is pretty much how I handle it. **

**Thanks again for all the feedback and as usual, REVIEW- PREVIEW. **


	9. The Women

**AN: Thanks for being patient guys. Please peep the Footnote.**

**Music: Moon River – Breakfast at Tiffany's**

The sky clamored and wept all at once, blanketing the New York streets with a steady sheath of rain. Blair bundled her khaki coat as she crossed the wet streets. Her heels sloshing and slapping the asphalt as she briefly wondered why the melodic notes of Moon River were wafting through the city air. Nevertheless, Blair bounded cross the road, cars honking and splashing until she reached the sidewalk. Her hair was dripping out of its up-do, her eye liner was bleeding down her cheeks and she yelled.

"_Cat!"  
"Cat!" "Where are you, Cat?"_

And to the cry came a muffled meow from the alley between the buildings in front of her. Blair stumbled into the alley way towards it.

"Cat!" she hollered over the imposing harmonica- crying now from exhausted desperation as she crossed into a dark space between a garbage – and a rusty fire escape.

"Cat?" She squinted as she stepped further- the music becoming deafening- until she froze and released a guttural shriek of horror.

James stepped out from the shadows, snickering and spilling dark blood from his mouth with every laugh. His dirty blonde hair was mangled in it. In his hands were the petrified and gory remains of Cat, the cat. Blair covered her mouth to stop from throwing up on the spot and that made him laugh even harder. All the while the rain was spilling over them both.

She gave a shaky groan and tottered away from him. His eyes danced after her as she began to stumble away from the alley to the streets, clutching her stomach and weeping. With exaggerated slowness, he stalked after her with the widest grin on his face.

She broke from the alley into the streets but they were suddenly empty. The cars, the sloshing, all gone.

"Help!" She shrieked and picked up pace. Blair could feel him behind her, reveling in her frantic fear.

Several yards ahead of her a cloaked figure stood in front of a store window- examining its contents and completely oblivious of her shrieking. Forcing herself along, she sped up until she completely knocked into him.

Not even pausing to see whose hands had clasped her waist to steady her she blurted. "Please- you have to help me. There's a madman after me and he killed my cat- now I'm next." She began to pant and cry all at once. "He's—he's a va-"She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "He's…"

And that's when she realized the cloak stranger smelled of earth, wine, and imported wood.

"Blair…"

"No. No. No," she whispered and shook all over.

"Blair…" His arms enfolded her until she was pressed to his chest. "Open your eyes," that hauntingly melodic voice whispered more forcefully.

"I can't-"she cried softly and shook her head against his wet coat. "You won't be real if I do."

"_Blair!"_

"_Blair!" _

He began to shake her with force.

"Blair" A higher more frantic voice rang out.

"Blair wake darling. Open your eyes."

It was jarringly dark when she did; her eyes were slow in discerning her robed mother sitting at her bed side, looking down at her with concern. She sat up quickly.

"My Goodness, Blair, are you alright."

"Yes," she said groggily.

"You were screaming bloody murder in your sleep-"

Her daughter nodded drowsily in disinterested acceptance of that fact as if this was no new news to her at all.

The lights suddenly jarred them both as Dorota rushed in, flipping the switches and causing a conundrum.

"Blair! What is matter! You scream so loud!"

Blair shook her head several times, and tried to squint away from the light. "I know… I was just…having a nightmare."

"I was so afraid burglar try to get in. Mees Blair- must try not to scare me like that. Especially with us just three women and not a man in the house."

In response to such a proclamation of there being "not a man" in the house, both Blair and her mother cast their eyes downward and gave a pitiful self sigh.

And then something remarkable occurred. A rueful chuckle escaped Blair's lips. And then Eleanor found herself laughing as well. The laughter persisted and Dorota was looking at the two women sitting up in the bed, draped in an array of silk and laughing like they'd escaped from Bedlam in utter confusion.

"What is funny?" Dorota demanded.

Blair could only laugh harder.

"You," Eleanor sobered a bit. "Goodness, Dorota you act like this is a spinster house in Victorian times."

Blair laughed hysterically and suddenly began to weep.

"Blair, what-" Eleanor began to ask as they both rushed to the weeping girl in concern.

She shook her mother's arms away from her. "I'm fine." Despite her words tears continued to stream from her eyes.

At this Eleanor stared down at the weeping girl looking utterly perplexed. Fortunately, the ever maternal Dorota swooped in and seemed to know exactly what to do. She rushed forward and enfolded her in arms and Blair did not resist. Eleanor could only stand idly by as the rotund woman in her ridiculously fluffy pink robe and hair set in colorful rollers, wrapped Blair up arms, like a mother crow and whisked the hysterical girl out of the room with a simple, "Come. I make tea for bad dream."

Blair allowed Dorota to fly her to the kitchen and set herself down at the conciliatory bar stool. Dorota busied herself with making tea and Blair watched her, feeling embarrassed and exhausted.

The kettle screamed. Dorota made her a cup of tea with honey and got right to it the way only tired family maid could.

"Is this about dreadful boy?"

After lingering in the doorway of the kitchen unbeknownst, Eleanor found it a pertinent time to make her presence known. She cleared her throat and took loud strides into the room.

"That will be all, Dorota," she crisply announced.

Dorota looked at Blair who was looking down at her tea sleepily and Eleanor, let out a loud subordinate huff and quitted the kitchen. All the while mumbling in Ukraine about her sleep being disrupted.

Alone, Eleanor crossed her arms and examined her daughter for a long time. Blair had no interest; it seemed, in acknowledging her presence.

"You know…Blair your father was the only man I've ever loved," Eleanor announced, after a lengthy and awkward silence passed between them.

Of course, Blair did not respond and so Eleanor continued with her monologue.

"But, sometimes when you're in love. It makes you blind to other things."

Silence.

"You wake up one day and asked yourself, 'how did I not realize the man lying next to me has a completely different side to him'?"

"Blair… do you think that Roman, was your father's first affair, that I knew about?"

Blair glanced up. Awakened. "You mean…there were others."

Eleanor nodded and her daughter winced. "Never anything serious. He'd had his trysts with few models here and there. And when he started seeing Roman I didn't think anything of it. I guess I thought what we had together- our marriage, you, would be worth more than that."

"Ugh," she made a sound of disgust, "I guess it wasn't," she whispered.

"Blair darling I'm not telling you this for you to hate your father."

"Why not? You let me blame _you?" _she exclaimed. "I was so angry at you for not trying and you never told me…"

"Would it have made a difference," Eleanor asked and Blair was silenced. "Blair, you are your father's child to the fault. You get your idolized ideals of love from him.---And your pigheadedness from me," she finished with a rueful little smile.

Blair sighed in concession.

"I'm telling you this because- Well for awhile I thought our marriage was everything. Like it was my failure that caused this. That I could never be happy or love again."

"And now you're happy? In love? Oh my God, are you dating again. Some, older yet debonair rich gentleman you've been seeing in secret?" Blair's eyes were wide with hope and her voice was rising.

"Oh God no!" Blair deflated, pouting. Her mother chuckled at her expression. "You really are your father's child aren't you?"

"But yes, I _am _happy and do you want to know why?"

"Enlighten me," Blair grouched, her pout was causing the conversation to take a comedic route much to her own displeasure.

"Well… I have _you_," she said, and anticipating her daughter's protesting, she hastily continued with, "And as much as you think otherwise, I'm very happy to have you here, split ends and all."

"Your subtlety astounds me, mother," Blair mumbled with a small smile.

"You _have _gotten very serious, haven't you?"

"A trait a picked up." Blair shrugged, trying not to lose her light mood.

"And I have the most fabulous career," Eleanor continued, "I've achieved quite a bit these past two years with my brand. And without a man, no less," she chided, mocking Dorota's accent.

"Wait, is this some planned lesson to show me that I should harness my inner heartbreak and channel it towards total success in life which will in turn make me veritably happy?"

Eleanor gave a guilty little shrug and pursed up-turned lips. "Maybe."

Blair couldn't help but to laugh. "You're good."

"Well… did it work?"

She was silent for a moment- thinking the conversation thoroughly through then took a lengthy sip of tea.

"You know what, screw it."

"Excuse me? What are you screwing, exactly?"

"Men- young, old- they all completely suck!" her daughter revealed.

Eleanor just stared at her daughter indignantly.

"And I for one am done with them."

Eleanor sighed at her daughter's extremeness. There was no happy medium with Blair- it was either black or white and nothing in between. "Blair, 17 is too young to decide to give up me- Oh lord, you're not coming out of the closet are you?"

Seeing her mother's face so thoroughly sobered she burst into laughter.

"Oh thank God," Eleanor muttered.

"First off, I'm 18 and no I'm not giving up men. I'm giving up on beings who completely _suck _and that just so happens to include the male species. So until mankind finds a way to stop sucking, I've decided to focus my immense amounts of energy and cunning elsewhere – Like School," she finished dramatically and her mother resisted the urge to do a touchdown dance.

"Well… if that's really what you want…"

"Oh mother," Blair smiled, "Let's not pretend you're not overjoyed and breaking out the old Bull-dog sweater."

She shrugged. "Well in that case," she paused- smiling- "I'll have Dorota recover all the Yale paraphernalia in the morning."

The younger brunette rolled her eyes in silent bemusement. "You, know you're being awfully hard to despise right now."

"I know." Eleanor's lips quirked slightly and she placed a loving peck on top of her daughter's hair. "I have my moments." Blair didn't protest to the show of affection. Her mother continued to waft out of the kitchen, pausing at the light switch. "Don't stay up too late, darling, Remember, I made you an appointment for tomorrow morning," she called before swaying out of the room- leaving Blair alone with her thoughts to wonder which appointment she was referring to; Henri or Dr. Schwartz.

~x~

The next morning, Blair emerged from Henri's salon sporting new lightened locks and looking exponentially less pathetic than the day prior. After spending the vast majority of her morning re-enacting the makeover scene from Miss Congeniality, Blair was looking, cut, coiffed, and polished off with her sun kissed honey high-lights mocking the dull wintry weather.

_Now what?_

Around this time last year she was at school juggling manipulating an entire school, sleeping with two boys at once and trying to keep it from each other. How robust everything seemed when it was coated with scandal. But now, everything seemed dull and cheap.

Looking around and finding nothing to distract her, she decided on walking to Central Park to watch children play hooky. In the spring it was usually a breeding ground for pet enthusiast and Upper East Side stoners, ehem, Nate, but as she sat at the rot iron park bench, she observed the children and their nannies ice-skating and old couples huddling together for warmth and sighed.

She wanted her life back.

She missed the city, the noise, the cold, the industrial grey and lofty black. And she missed being Blair Waldorf; sociopath socialite extraordinaire.

How tired she'd grown of sitting and thinking and reflecting over that dreamlike state that may or may not have ever existed, when here- New York- was here and solid and hers for the taking.

How exhausted she'd gotten of wondering, going over every single minute detail of the last 6 months of her life and wondering what was real and what wasn't. Where she might have gone wrong? What detail she might have been misinterpreting?

Waiting.

She was so transfixed with her thoughts and watching the children at play that she did not notice the tall blonde approaching her and calling her name until she was standing right over her and flailing her hand directly in front of her blank face.

"Serena?" She finally eyed the leggy blonde, clearly not in school, who seemed to be draped in naught but a pair of boots and a coat- the white folds of a man's dress shirt peeking from underneath. "My God, Serena, do all your clothes come from the Walk of Shame Outlet?" The instant criticism flew from her mouth like a familiar and uncontrollable twitch.

Serena glanced down at her bare legs and shuttered self consciously at the cold.

It hit Blair. This was old Serena- the monster she'd created in her anger so many months ago. She felt as if she'd suddenly stepped back in time.

"What are you doing here?" Serena asked, cautiously, as if Blair were a temperamental lap dog and about to snap.

"I live here now- Anyway I was about to-" she began to rise, motioning yonder in the general direction of home. But she was cut off by Serena joining her on the bench.

"I thought it was you on Gossip Girl yesterday but I wasn't sure," Serena continued, searching her face in that dough eyed fashion of hers. "I figured you would've called or-"

Blair released a loud huff and rolled her eyes.

"…Right…I guess I deserved that…" Her blue eyes fell for moment then she sighed. "Then I guess that means you're back at Constance."

The brunet nodded and pursed her lips in that standoffish fashion of hers.

"Blair…"

"And I'm sure as long as you give me back my minions and stay out of my way, we wont have any issues," Blair said in a clipping tone.

Serena sighed and steeled herself, searching her face.

"I'm not doing this with you again, Blair?"

"What are we not doing exactly?"

"This…"

They both fell silent until Serena tried a new angle.

"I wanted to call you so badly after I found out you and Edward…"

Blair flinched at the mention of that name. It stung- still. She hardened herself for another blow.

"But I kept thinking about everything that was said between us, and I didn't know if you'd ever speak to me again."

Blair could see the direction the conversation was turning and wanted nothing more than to shut her friend up but she just kept talking- on and on- raking up all the murk she was trying to desperately to forget.

"I would just read about how sad you were getting and I wanted to talk to you and be your friend again…"

Blair cleared her through- not to interrupt her but because it was hoarse. "Why didn't you?" she asked tersely.

"I don't know… I just… I felt like it was my fault-"

"Why? Did you sleep with him, too?"

Serena's face fell.

"Yeah, sure, cause that what you think of me," Serena snapped, her voice cracking. "I'm just 'slutty Serena' who nobody respects or see's as a person. Yes, that's exactly what I did, Blair."

_What the hell? This is supposed to be MY sad scene. How the hell does she manage to steal my MISERY from me?_

Blair could only stare at the fairer friend in astonishment. But she retreated quickly into her deadpanned sarcasm and said, "Oh my God, you're like totally sucks," as patronizingly as only Blair could.

Serena released an exasperated snort.

"No, really. You rebounding into your scank-tastic ways because the scullery boy dumped you really makes me appreciate the fact- that I gave up my life, my friends, possibly my entire future to be with a guy who wants nothing to do with me."

They both fell silent. Only the squeals of little girls at play between them. Blair stared off, at nothing in particular- stunned at her own confession. She dared to look at Serena again only to find her sitting oddly still with quivering lips.

Blair gave a martyred sigh bend down and put her head to her hands as if suffering from nausea. "I don't know why I just said that." Her voice was slightly muffled her hands. "Everything that comes out of my mouth is so insanely fucked up these days."

Not accustomed to hearing such harsh language from her normally collected and genteel friend, S, nearly flinched.

"I should've gone to see Swartz instead of Henri," she muttered to herself, "Damn my mother and her skewed sense of priority."

Serena waved her hand in a flagging fashion and Blair sat up to find her eying her crazily. "Um, you do know I have no clue what you're talking about, right?"

"Random exclusionary monologues. A trait, I picked up, sorry, "Blair said, in an automatic tone and Serena has a weird intuitive feeling that Blair had been apologizing for strange new tendencies quite a bit these days.

"Listen, Blair-"

"So what have you been up to," Blair cut in, her voice telling S, she didn't want to go wherever S was planning on taking them.

Serena sighed and slumped into bench like a petulant child. "Honestly, nothing. School is the same as you left it except I have to see Dan everyday in the courtyard and Chuck's face everyday in my house."

"I'm sorry," Blair said, quietly and she partly meant it.

Serena shrugged and sat up again, facing Blair fully.

"So how about you, Blair. The only thing I got from Gossip Girl was something along the lines of Edward breaking up with you because his family was moving and then you stopped talking to everyone."

Blair wondered how many times she would have to listen to someone repeat that god forsaken name before she cracked and went Kerry on everyone around her. But she only shrugged dolefully and sighed out in her duly dramatic yet deadpanned voice, "No, his moving had nothing to do with it. He's an asshole, deviant, scoundrel who toys with people's hearts for his own sick pleasure and let's never speak of him again."

She said it fast so that she wouldn't have to process that information again.

Serena's expression told her she was disbelieving. "What? Edward?"

She gritted her teeth. For some impossible reason, the inarguable fact that yet another person didn't want her was going to be a hard sell for her to make to S.

"This is Edward we're talking about!"

Oh look. There it goes again. Another E-bomb.

But of course Serena didn't notice her friend's knuckles turning white as she tightened her fists

"I hardly know him and even _I_ know how much he cares about you Blair."

_Please stop talking._

"Think about it, his parent's died-" S, began to gesticulate, "He probably _really_ hates goodbyes, Blair and breaking up with you was the easiest way for him having to move."

_So sad. All that beauty and absolutely zero brains. _

Serena finished her histrionic diatribe to find her friend sitting eerily still beside her. Her breathing was loud and shaky and her breath formed little white billows in front of her mouth.

"No." she said quietly at first and then again, as if trying to convince herself. "He's just not that into me," she glanced up from her wringing hands and smiled. "Never was – he just pretended to be because …I don't know, but I'm over and _so_ done with his kind. And now… I just want my life back."

Serena blinked several times, looking stunned and not finding anything to say because, being generally prone to seeing the best in other's, she couldn't believe someone other than Chuck Bass was capable of such douche baggery.

"His kind?" she asked, finally realizing what was said in full. "…As in orphans?"

Blair's eyes widened when she realized what she'd said then answered her friend with a rousing laugh.

"Hey," Serena defended herself, smiling "You said 'his kind' like he's some other species."

At this, Blair's laugh simmered out to a sobered smile.

"Well, my next guess would have been Ginger's, thank you very much."

Her dimples deepened. "Yes, S, I definitely meant Gingers. To hell with their lot!" she proclaimed loudly, thrashing her hand in the air in diva fashion.

Serena chuckled heartily to that. "Ginger's and orphans- are officially banned from our dating list," Serena chimed officiously.

"And don't forget brooders," Blair added, pointedly.

"Ugh, of course," Serena agreed, "And judgmental guys!"

"Here! Here!" Blair shouted, amusedly aware that the park dwellers around them probably thought they were insane with all their soap-box denouncing and proclaiming. "And le bourgeoisie!"

By the time they finished with their cathartic little list, they were laughing and huddling close to each other like friendship renewed. It was almost as if their mutual hatred for 'judgey, brooders with middle class morals' had cancelled out their own tiff and there was no need for apologies.

"So basically that leaves us with, rich spoilt heirs, five divorces and a mid-life affair with the yoga instructor," Serena chuckled out.

"One can only hope," Blair sighed out wistfully then smirked in reignited contentment.

Spotted:

Some serious B S at Central park.

And that's a pair I'd thought I'd never see again. Interesting. Now that the B is definitely back, the question remains; will she be bringing the drama? We do like the new locks but don't go changing too much, B. We like our B the way we like our Cosmos; cold, shaken, and un-stirred.

**AN: Hey guys, sorry I'm 3 days late. (It's close to midnight where I am). I had to make some minor changes and I wasn't going to post this until I was happy with it. Thanks for sticking with me on my month long hiatus. Like all good vamps, I had to leave you hanging to go brood. **

**Next Chap:**

**Well that's all the brooding I'm capable of. Don't expect much more brooding out of Blair. The Girl bounces back pretty quickly. And yes, the bad-assery that is Serena **_**Noire**_** is coming soon too! **

**Food for thought: **

**As Blair seems to be coming out of her depression and getting her old life back, what do you think it is that will make her go noire? What do you think of her 'picked up' traits? The new lighter do from season two? The chap as a whole? And of course, what did you think of the season 3 finale? **

**Converse! Review and I'll give you candy!**


	10. Wild Young Hearts

**AN: Hey guys! I'm back from my vacation and as promised I've brought the goods. Also, there's a non-spoiler footnote with my thoughts on Eclipse. **

**LisaLevine****: Rock star! Hell yeah! Welcome aboard Lisa and thanks for sharing your thoughts. Although I am team biter the finale sort of redeemed Chuck for me. (Jenny aside, because she doesn't count.)**

Shake That Thang: **Boo York! Lol. Hmm Perhaps you're right. I do try to keep Blair's reactions as canon as I can but your opinion is welcomed. Personally, I think she's been through so much already with Nate and her dad that it almost softens the blow. Plus, she was never as obsessed with Edward as Bella. (Well she was but not outwardly.) I think with Blair, she all about putting on appearances and fooling herself into thinking she's over it. Thanks for the feedback though. Please keep it coming. **

**Review= Preview!**

Music:

**Wild Young Hearts- The Noissettes**

And While the City Sleeps I won't weep Because I couldn't keep My boyfriend

We love it and we leave and we watch it burn

Damn these wild young hearts

February 2006

The young socialites bundled their coats around them as they made their daily stole through the Upper East Side to Constance. The newly rehabilitated Van der Woodsen was sporting her scant blue skirt and rebelliously wrinkled white shirt. Her angel hair and easy smile could inspire an American rock song.

Blair Waldorf was looking her usual self these days; Her navy blue uniform was pressed, her skirt- brief but made marginally appropriate by her bright red leggings, her white shirt crisp and her black head band perched perfectly atop her honey streaked locks.

A car honked in the streets as it past them and she inhaled the cold and gritty New York air with an appreciative smile.

"I love, New York in February."

Serena scanned the panorama of frosted metal, sludge, and throat hacking passer-bys. Everything seemed much too gray and industrial for her taste.

"Why? What's so special about February- besides, agh, Valentines day?" The blonde shuttered.

Serena hated Valentines day. It was the cozy window-side dinner she had always been on the outside looking in on. She could only grouch and suppress a curmudgeon pout as girls like Blair Waldorf fettered their boyfriends to their right hands while flouncing around town showing everyone what thoughtful gifts they got and what romantic plans they had. It was nauseating to be sure. Her only comfort was that she would not be alone in her hater-fest.

"Now that I'm finally single, I realize just how selfish Edward was," she heard her friend say.

-And here they were again. Another Edward spiel.

"All he cared about was his family and his stupid sense of guilt."

Serena had no idea how that constituted as selfish but she was not going to interrupt her friend when she got like this. She could only be glad that she was using name so freely which could only mark good things in her mind.

"And all that brooding- _gah_! A girl wants _Romeo _not _Hamlet!" _Blair shouted exasperatedly.

Serena could only shake her head and roll her eyes.

They made it to their ritual steps outside of the Mets with Blair in seemingly high spirits. Her faithful trio, Penelope, Isobel and Nelly were there waiting as usual with yogurt in hand and gossip ready. They greeted her eagerly and she took her rightful place atop the steps among them while Serena, the odd girl out of their dubious plots, and proud of it stood, leaning against the rails trying to angle her long legs towards the faint sun.

She sighed contentedly.

Her eyes scanned the area just in time to catch the other lanky blond come trolling up the stairs, carrying a Starbucks coffee in one hand and a garment bag draped over the other arm. As if she were scaling a great mountain, she panted and whined with every step until she reached them. Serena smiled sympathetically- a weak smile while the evil trio snickered.

"Well if it isn't little Jenny Humphrey" Blair announced in amusement and a very insubordinate Jenny rolled her eyes and all but threw her venti macchiato at her. The socialite made a face but allowed it. She could hardly keep up with Jenny and her moodiness. First racoonish eyeliner and harajuku extensions and now that ever present scowl on her face like she was auditioning for a punk girl band in the seventies.

The brunette took a sip of her coffee and looked up at the girl as if surprised to see her standing there. "Yes?"

The Jenny/Blair dynamic had gone through quite the whirlwind the past year with Jenny, first the trusted lap dog, then the betrayer who flaunted her elevated status and proximity to Nate in her absence, and finally the lap dog again. She had gone through the Blair bitch project in its entirety; She had been dethroned- publicly, harangued to subservience, judged, tested, and judged again and now the poor girl had no fight in her to do anything other than Blair's bidding. Especially since Blair had such leverage over her.

In her absence she'd gotten an internship at Waldorf designs- thus resulting in her taking orders from both Waldorf's day and night. Blair held her future in her relationship with her mother in one hand- which she desperately needed to keep in tact as it was almost fashion week and she was hoping her subservience would land her a more hands on role and in her covering for the fact that Jenny had practically dropped out of school to pursue a career in design.

"Bye Jenny," Penelope called in a sing-song voice as the statuesque blonde slumped down the stairs- being careful not to let the dress in her hand touch the floor.

"Such an unpleasant girl," Blair scoffed, staring after her momentarily then shrugging. Her attention flitting to her friends.

"What are we doing this weekend?" she asked, seemingly at the group but looking over at Serena whose eyes flitted to Blair's cohorts in quick panic. Blair caught her look and narrowed her eyes slightly.

"Um… family…thing…dinner…" she mumbled incoherently and looked away.

Clearly she was being brushed off – no doubt for Serena's shady dealings but she was willing to overlook it for now. "Oh, so you're having a dinner with Lilly and Bass that apparently lasts three days," she said, in that deadpanned sarcasm her friends had come to know the past month. "How nice."

Isobel and Penelope quickly piped in with excuses. "Oh we have to- - appointments-family—date with- so and such."

"Fine." Blair turned to her last hope, "I don't suppose you have plans too, Nelly Yuki."

The girl's eyes widened. "Uh-no- I mean yes. I'm going out of town- ouch." Penelope had pinched the girl's arms and she continued quickly with, "To Alaska."

"Seriously? Alaska?" Nelly Yuki was the worst liar of them all and Blair knew it.

"Er yes…" Even Penelope and – were rolling their eyes.

For a moment Blair just stared at the raven haired girl with her thick framed glasses. As if challenging her with her eyes she arched an eyebrow expectantly, but the girl only flustered and looked down at her yogurt.

"Fine," Blair conceded. Alaska it is.

Everyone was looking away awkwardly but Blair wasn't going to let their BS break her stride. Besides, she loved a good mystery and she would no doubt get to the bottom of whatever it was they were up to, before lunch. But right now, it wasn't worth the effort.

She pushed off from the steps and stood with her folder in one hand, coffee in the other. "Whatever, I'm going to class," she announced and started walking down the steps and towards Constance. Her friends soon flanked her sides- eager to appease her with their trifling gossip. She smirked, secretly as they strutted through the UES.

It's good to be the queen.

Even with her lightened locks, sly smiles, and biting sarcasm there was something off and dark about Blair that intrigued those around her. At first it was attributed to the breakup but as the weeks passed, that pathetic era of her life was all but forgotten by the _haut ton_. Instead what they saw was a new Blair who was seemingly sharper and more on her game than ever before. She roamed around the school effortlessly commanding respect and subservience as well as a bit of fear- which wasn't altogether new. What was new was her air of déjà vu, her morbid sarcasm, and an edginess about her as if at any moment she would change her face, crouch down on all fours and pounce.

Needless to say, Blair had no problem re-establishing her place at the top of the food chain.

By lunch she'd traded her head band for her Nancy Drew spy kid, set on discreetly foiling whatever her friends where up to. It did not bother her that they were lying to her. No, what irked her was their lack of imagination. Alaska! Family dinners! Did they think she was completely daft?

Alas, she spotted Nate across the courtyard, sitting at a bench with his legs stretched out. Chuck was sitting with him, only on top of the table, his hawk shaped eyes watching her in high amusement as she approached them. Ignoring him, she fixed her eyes on Nate and gave her most winning smile.

He glanced up at her, nervously and straightened up in his seat. "Uh, hey Blair."

Her grin widened. This was going to be easy. Everyone knew Nate couldn't lie his way out of a paper bag. He never inherited the Archibald flair for politics.

"Hello, Nathanial," she breathed out in a sing-out voice that caused Chuck to narrow his eyes- only slightly before granting her his full profile as he looked away, pretending to peruse the freshmen girls.

"Do you know what I was just thinking?" she announced in a calculated manner, "You and I never hang out anymore. Isn't that strange- one of my oldest friends… What are doing this weekend?"

The corner of Chuck's lips quirked. No one ever said subtlety was Blair's forte.

"Oh um…Chuck and I are em… doing guy things this weekend," he explained rapidly and Chuck, hearing his name welcomed himself into their conversation.

He smirked and let his eyes rake over her leisurely. "Aren't you going to ask me for quality time?"

"No." She rolled her eyes.

"Mm…pity…"

Blair cocked her head to the side and gave him a stringent look. "Chuck, does your depravity know no bounds."

Chuck's smile widened into a dimpled grin. "None."

"Whatever- cut the crap, the both of you."

"What crap?" Nate chimed in guiltily. "We're busy this weekend."

"Really?" Blair said disbelievingly, arching a brow at them. Nate's eyes darted to Chuck who only started grinning at Blair like a Cheshire cat.

"So that's you story and you're sticking with it, hm" She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. If they thought she wasn't getting to the bottom of this they were sadly mistaken.

"Afraid so, Blair," Chuck chimed in, the heaviness of his tauntingly low voice startling her a little. His bored expression morphed into full grown mischief at her discomfiture.

"Unless you want to use your feminine wiles to coax it out of me."

Quite used to Chuck's smarmy ways, she ignored him.

"Well whatever it is, I know you're covering for someone." Suddenly a strange through hit her and her dark eyes widened. "Oh for heaven's sake. Serena's killed someone- again."

"Blair, don't be ridiculous-"

Blair interrupted Nate with a dramatic sigh. "Fine, keep your little secret. I have more interesting things to do with my time anyway." With that she spun around on her heels and stormed out of the courtyard in true diva fashion. All that was missing was a clap of thunder and the climactic, 'don don don'.

"Seriously man, what's the deal with you two?"

Chuck turned from watching Blair storm off to find Nathanial scowling at him.

"Whatever do you mean, Nathanial?"

"Dude, I don't care just _please _figure it out because its getting rediculous. I do _not _want to deal that drama again."

Chuck shrugged and slid up from the table, turning to face Nate with cool eyes and ennui in his voice. "Nathanial your concern is warming but unnecessary." His lips curled into a semi smirk. "Unlike some, I know how to handle Blair."

Blair found herself sitting in bed- Indian style, on a Friday night with absolutely nothing to do.

Her friends had all abandoned her to go do God knows what with whom. Not that she could bring herself to care that they were keeping something from her. It was more their lack of imagination that troubled her. They could've at least coordinated on their lies.

She tumbled down into her pillows and stated up at her ceiling.

A weekend alone with her thoughts. Wonderful. She shut her eyes and groaned.

When she looked up, Chuck was standing over her with his hands in his pockets, looking casually amused. Was she shocked to see Chuck Bass standing at her bedside wearing a buttoned down suite and scarf and looking as if he'd just come from a board meeting? Not as surprised as she should have been.

"How many times must I talk to Dorota about letting you in my house?" She propped herself up a bit and effected a mixture of boredom and annoyance.

"I can't help it if she has a soft spot for me." he shrugged. "She is a woman after all."

"What do you want, Chuck." She demanded, eyeing him warily from her position which quite unintentionally had morphed into an inviting pose.

He took her in, silently for a moment- the way she angled herself gracefully across her bed like Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra. One would half expect man servants to arrive to fan her with palm branches. He smiled slightly, in general approval of the scene before him and his eyes twinkled with mischief.

"That's a dangerous question, Blair."

Blair scoffed and rolled her eyes.

His grin widened slowly. "I'll let you know why, but you're not going to like it."

"Out with it, Chuck, you can't manipulate me anymore. You have no power here."

"Ouch. That hurts Blair."

"Good."

He dug his hands deeper into his pockets and shrugged. "I think I've been slightly descent towards you for the past couple months."

"Slightly," she agreed.

"You should feel honored," he smirked, "Very few people actually receive that privilege."

Alas, his brazen audacity amused her. She felt that strange feeling of a wide and genuine grin.

Strangely enough, Chuck had been on his best behavior since she'd been back. She wasn't sure if had anything to do with her breakup, or his personal hand in destroying her life in Forks, or pity, but for the first few weeks he gave her space- practically ignored her. She merged back into fold without so much of a snarky comment from him.

He acknowledged her with a mere nod at school, conversed sparsely with her when among their friends.

But now that she was back on top of things it seemed he was ready to drop that whole façade. But Even Blair had to admit, she missed their sparring. It as warm and comforting as chocolate, yet equally as taboo.

"What is it Chuck," she conceded, slightly wearily. "I thought you and rest of New York had plans this weekend." Plans that didn't involve her.

"Blair, please tell you're not buying that lame story," Chuck said, disapprovingly. "I know that small town hasn't completely robbed you of that sharp mind of yours."

The brunette cut her eyes at him. "Of course not. I'm merely tolerating you all for now."

Chuck smiled appreciatively. "Good."

"Wait." She sat up completely and rose up to meet his eyes, "You wouldn't be here to tell me what it is you're up to, are you?"

"Possibly."

Blair crossed her arms. "And what exactly am I supposed to give you in exchange?" She just knew that he was here to try to manipulate her some way.

"Save it, Blair, I highly doubt you'll be giving me anything after what I tell you. Now sit."

Blair's mouth fell a bit at his tone but she remained defiantly still, slightly shocked at his insolence.

He seemed a little annoyed at her then, eyeing her with a combination of boredom and martyrdom as if asking himself, "Why me?".

"What is it?" she asked, her voice sobering.

"Blair do you not know what month this is? What important event takes place…?"

"Valentines day?"

Chuck sighed in irritation. "Think scholastically for a second."

She wasn't too pleased with him taking that tone with her but she rummaged through brain nonetheless. Exams- no. Graduation- no. Midterms- done. Application- sent…

Suddenly the blood seemed to drain from her face and she felt cold fear.

"Yale," she said, hesitantly.

"Mhmm," he encouraged as if spoon feeding a child.

"Interviews."

He nodded. She processed- choosing her words tentatively.

"You're telling me that…" She choked over the words, "S-erena, Nate, Nelly, all my friends…_you_.. are all going to New Haven this weekend."

He nodded.

"On invitation."

Again he nodded.

"To interview with admissions"

"Well, technically, I'm just going to get and intimate acquaintance with the student body. But yes, that's what I'm getting at."

Chuck allowed her to stumble backwards into her bed, sitting at the edge with her mouth agape.

"But," her eyes were calculating, "But… I haven't gotten…"

"Your invitation," Chuck finished for her calmly.

"Anything."

Chuck watched her for a moment as if calculating something himself. "Odd."

She only clasped her hands together and eyed the floor and Chuck was pained to see her looking so small and fragile. He exhaled a martyred sigh and trudged over to her, swooping down to retrieve her phone from beside her, and scrolling through her phonebook.

She began to protest but he held out his hand, apparently now calling someone. She could hear the faint ringing and for some strange reason it prompted her to whisper.

"Chuck, what the hell are you doing," she hissed.

With the phone to his ear and with an extremely condescending voice he said, "Calling your uncle. Try to keep up Blair- Oh hello, Mr. Swan."

Realization struck. When she'd applied for Yale she had been a lot of things, a 4.0 student, naively dating a vampire, and most of all, living in Washington. Suddenly she felt the urge to wrest the phone from his hand and she acted on it.

She didn't want to hear him say it. Her nerves would not allow it. Either way it went her future could be completely destroyed or she had no time to prepare for her one on one with the dean in less than 24 hours which would result in the above.

Anticipating this, Chuck coolly swatted her away and resumed his casual chat with chief Swan.

"Yes…she is right here." Blair pouted defiantly and his eyes twinkled with mischief. "Uncle Charlie says, hello," he said smarmily while wiggling his eyebrows in a lascivious fashion. She knew it was beneath her but she flipped him off anyway.

"Actually Mr. Swan I was wondering if you've received any mail for Blair lately."

Chuck's expression was blank. He wasn't speaking and it was driving Blair insane. He gave brief not then turned his back to her. Blair felt her stomach clench. Her breathing became shallow but of course Chuck wasn't paying any attention to her.

_What the hell? Does he or doesn't he have it?_

"- Just a friend, sir," she hear him say. "I assure you."

_What?_ She moved in front of him and waved her hands. He only shrugged and mouthed, "He's looking for it."

"A few weeks ago? –Sure, I'll wait," he said and Blair thought she was going to go insane.

Chuck, already bored with the sound of rustling objects and papers took advantage of Blair hysterics to watch her pout and pace the room, picking up pillows and tossing them about- and looking very much the crazy beautiful girl he'd come to know and respect.

And there he was, despite his infamy, coming to her aide. Not that Blair would see it that way. She was far too fixated on shining white knights. In a way it amused him- how the seemingly indestructible Blair was ever drawn to these shining prince charming types who had no idea what to do with her.

"What was your name again," the man gruffed- papers still rustling.

"Chuck Bass."

He grunted but left the matter at that. "Found it," Charlie announced, "New Haven, right. Yeah it's been lying under a stack of papers for over a month now. Hold on, let me…"

Chuck kept a steady eye on Blair as papers unfolded and her uncle read its contents. She was crossing her arms and scowling at him with a brow arched in expectation and he smiled, remembering how much he'd missed that expression.

"Alright, I'll pass that along. Thank you, Swan." He shut her phone and slid it into his pocket then he smirked and stalked towards her.

"What did he say?" She eyed him warily; afraid to show that was afraid of what he might say. His smirk widened to a grin.

"He said congratulations. It seems you've got Yale."

Her loud sigh of relief interrupted him. He had her at 'congratulations' and she had crossed the room in an instance and threw her arms around him in appreciation.

Chuck loved women- all women, black women, white women, high end hookers, and society sluts alike. The brief comfort they provided had a way of making him feel enveloped in something soft and good. But Blair made him feel something different entirely. Strangely, aside from the part of him completely focused on sex, Chuck never saw Blair as woman. Instead what he saw was his equal- cold, cunning, and impenetrable and he'd always respected her for it.

It had always been this way. Blair was always the aloof and frigid girlfriend to his best friend and he had been merely tolerated by her for Nate's sake. It wasn't until that night at Vitriol, when Blair was at her lowest did he see through the porcelain grin and cold dark eyes. He saw a women who was dark and almost a severely fucked up inside as him and he allowed himself to want something that didn't belong to him and probably never would.

But it didn't stop her from always entering his mind. Or the fact that it felt good to touch her, even chastely like this when she was cleaving to him like some hero- making consider doing good things more often. He was waiting for her to realize who she was holding and push him away- break whatever hold she had over him, but she didn't. He ventured to run his hands along her waist and she allowed it- no, encouraged it even, a soft purr escaped her lips and she arched her back.

She looked up at him and he knew if he wanted to, he could have her right there. He could finally get her out of his system.

"Blair," he said in that rasping heady voice before stepping away from her. "You probably have a lot to do… so I'll let my self out."

"Fine," she said distractedly and he wondered if he was reading too much into her actions. Was she inviting him or was she merely forgetting whose chest she was snuggled against?

"You're the only person who's always there for me, Chuck" She murmured distantly.

Always? Chuck wasn't sure about always? Maybe he'd been there when she needed him once or twice. But he saw no reason to be getting carried away.

Enough of this, his throat was scraping for Scotch. Perhaps more brusquely than he meant to, he pushed her off of him. She blinked several times, looking at him as if he was the one acting ridiculous.

"I've done my good deed for the day," he announced his detached manner; "I suppose I'm done here."

And then he tuned on his heels and left. He regretted it instantly though he told himself there was nothing he could do about it.

It wasn't his fault Blair was always falling for these hero types that had no idea what to do with her, and getting burnt for it. Meanwhile if she would just stop flitting and stay still enough for him to figure out what the hell he wanted to do with her…

Where was his flask when he needed it? At the foot of her steps, Chuck decided he was in dire need of a drink, a woman, and something stronger to clear his head.

She spotted him from the top the staircase, standing at her foyer and gathering his coat.

"Chuck?" she cried out. He paused in the midst of letting himself out and turned to her- his face looking dark and pensive. He opened his mouth but she was at his side before he could think of words to tell her.

"You're acting weirder than usual. What the hell is your problem?" She tilted her head up at him with concern in her eyes- despite the harshness of her words.

His eyes wouldn't meet hers- those eyes- so wide and full of expectations he wasn't sure he was ready to fulfill. Wasn't sure if he was even capable.

"I have to go, Blair-"

"So suddenly!" Her voice was shrill and anxiety ridden. Eyes were flitting across his face rapidly. But Chuck knew Blair and he knew that she had good reason to be on edge when people left her suddenly. He knew better than to leave her anxious.

In the midst of slipping on his gloves and angling for the door he paused and looked down at his hands and moving them as if he were holding his future words and weighing them.

She called his name, "_Charles_," harshly and his eyes snapped up to hers.

"Listen Blair, it's been swell but I need to be alone to think," he said, his voice thick syrupy.

"Okay?" she watched him tentatively. He then took a bold step towards her. His sable leather thumb grazed her cheek. If she wasn't so stunned by the intimacy of his touch she would have surely swatted it away.

"But I think I already know," he murmured and the next thing Blair knew he had kissed her- so brief yet lingering enough for her to feel his warm mouth on hers, moving with deliberate slowness and brevity all at once.

She had half a mind to slap him if- if it didn't feel so impossibly good- to connect, to plug in- with another human being. He tasted of scotch and depravity and he smelled of women- always. And here she was feeling- good, and lightheaded, and strange- over Chuck Bass.

He pulled away so quick she had to wonder if it even happened. It wasn't until she had to open them did she realize she'd closed her eyes to begin with and he was standing there with his coat and Burberry scarf looking like- well- Chuck Bass; Billionaire, womanizing, metro sexual, omni sexual, deviant,- there was a point here I know it- with that slightly dazed look on his face. She had no word for that look on his face except it was something akin to the look he'd given her when he chose to unveil his plans for a bar to her and only her and she, the master of all taste—of course, had given him her sound approval.

Blair felt the urge to do something familiar- like slap him, call him a man whore, and to tell him to take his deviance elsewhere. So she did. A loud clap rang out as she slapped him- hard, for the both of them and set her face in a deadly scowl for good measure.

He actually had the nerve to smirk, rubbing his hand over that familiar sore spot on his cheek and grinning wolfishly like the devil himself.

"Out!"

Giving her a knowing smirk, he simply shrugged and began to let himself out, sauntering the whole way like the malevolent bastard he surely was.

Then he paused. He halted the door and gave a yet bewildered Blair one last lingering look and said, "I'll see you in New Haven."

**Eclipse (Spoiler Free):**

**So I just saw Eclipse at the midnight showing and here's my two cents. I loved it! It was easily the more accessible of the 3 movies in that it had wayyy more to offer to the audience- Back stories (yay), more lines for the Cullens, action!, snarky humor, and an even better Edward. I'm so impressed with Rob's new approach to Edward. He comes across as an actual man from the 20****th****century trapped in a teens body here than ever before. Not to mension he was actually light and funny. And the Bella/Edward scenes were pure delights. You get to actually see them enjoying each other's company instead of just sulking and worrying all the time and you realize just why you like these two as a couple. Though I will always put Twilight above the rest, Eclipse was right up there. I loved Bella here too- she reminded me of Twilight Bella, back in character and less of her awkward K-stew self. **

**Jacob….sigh. I adore Taylor, I really do but homeboy cannot act his way out of a paper bag. God, he ruined ever single scene for me. He had the most to work with, being the hot and dangerous contender for Bella's affection, but brought nothing to the table. It was very soap opera for me. His scenes just came off as cheesy and unintentionally silly. Plus he comes off as VERY young and winy- which makes it difficult to buy his "chemistry" with Bells. That being said, Taylor's such a nice guy in real life and I think better him for this role than some random d-bag actor… even if he's ruining the series… (I've said this b4; they should've gotten that fire guy from Sky High to play Jacob. Just sayin…)**

**What did you think? Feel free to chime in on your review.**


	11. Beauty and the Breakdown

**Roseythebx****: I love reading your feedback and thanks for noticing all the little details I throw in. :) ****I hope you get an alert for this chapter. I seriously do hate it when fanfiction does that. Grrr. **

**AN: As usual, review- Preview!**

**Music:**

**Peter, Bjork, and John- Nothing to Worry About**

**Defying Gravity- Wicked**

In America, they say that access to an education is our greatest right. But on the Upper East, we believe in quality, not quantity and only Ivy League will do. So polish those oxford pumps and straighten those ties and remember, UES, there's always NYU.

-X.o.X.o.

-GG

"And over here, you'll see a statue of our founding member…" The enthusiastic upperclassman was saying as she led a small tour of bored high school seniors around the grand campus of Yale. In attendance were Blair's gruesome trio, Serena, Nate, Chuck and Dan.

They were all wondering why they had to stand outside in the cold and stop at every free standing mass of brick or metal to hear, Amber, the communication major on Prozac, explain the significance of them all without discrimination.

Nate was about to fall asleep when he heard Nelly Yuki shriek, "Oh my God, we're dead," and everyone turned to see who she was staring at.

"Seriously, are we at Hogwarts," Dan suddenly announced, "What's the witch doing here?"

Blair Waldorf, clad in her opaque black tights, 3inch oxford heels and a form hugging grey pencil skirt and matching blazer, approached them. She had a warm, billowing cup of coffee in her hand, (which caused several people to whine with envy) and a paper in the other.

She handed the paper to Amber coolly and they exchanged a few words before Amber motioned for her to join the crown and began talking to the group again.

She turned to her friends and smiled. Taking great pleasure in the dread written across each and every one of their faces before facing the guide and following her tour.

"And this," Amber said with the enthusiasm of a 16 year old cheerleader, "Is the famous Harkness Tower, built in the neo-Gothic style…"

Blair took the moment to speak to S. She caught Serena by surprise when she suddenly linked her arm through hers and proceeded to follow the tour, smiling up at her and whispering, "So. I know why everyone else is here but why are you?"

If Serena was offended she covered it quickly.

"I mean, I always pictured you at Brown or Dartmouth…"

"Have you met, Lilly?" Serena groaned as if to say that she had not gone there willingly.

Blair shrugged, wondering what stings the Van der Woodsens had pulled to get the blond this far. Not that she was underestimating Serena's intelligence but this was Yale not UCLA for goodness sake.

The excited guide had them stop to explain the proud history of some library or some such sort and Blair noticed that both Nate and Chuck had disappeared from the group. Probably to go acquaint themselves with fraternities and girls. She sighed, realizing that this trip was being utterly wasted on them.

In fact, out of their small group, only Dan and she seemed mildly interested in the little tour.

"What time is your interview?" She asked when they had begun walking again.

"Um…2."

She grinned. "I'm at 2:30." Still smiling she turned her attention to Amber. Serena had just given her the best news of the day. As much as she loved S, she was no Yale material. Bubbly, scholastically average, and lacking Ivy League polishing, her interview would only make Blair look better by comparison.

She unclasped her friend and took a deep breath. Taking in the place she had dreamt of since she was a little girl. She imagined the gray stony campus in the fall with burned amber and saffron trees and she saw herself traipsing through the grounds in her pea coat with like-minded people. A feeling of belonging overwhelmed her.

And it felt good.

She carried that same feeling into her interview. She sat outside of the dean's office and straightened her skirt for the umpteenth time. Her gaze alternated between the mounted clock and the graying receptionist who smiled knowingly at her from time to time. Blair noticed on the 7th glance that she was reading a book and half expecting it to be something profound, like _War and Peace_. She was disappointed to find on the 8th that it was merely that some cheesy novel titled, _Living Dead in Dallas_, which caused Blair to nervously straighten her skirt again.

As she waited, she tried not to think about what S and the Dean where discussing and why they were running five minutes over-time. Because, of course, Serena was a lot of things but Yale material wasn't one of them. Yale was hers and she, with her pedigree, intelligence, and arrogance had exactly what Yale prided itself for. She would not check her honey streaked up-do or her mauve lipstick because she knew she was flawless and as if on cue, Blair straightened herself in her chair just as the dean's office door opened emitting roaring laughter.

Serena was the first to step out, laughing uproariously and flashing her California smile. A slightly shorter man of mid 60 followed at her heal. He was wearing a blue striped suite with his jacked casually open revealing a dark blue tie speckled with yellow diamond shapes and he too was laughing heartily.

"Ah," he wiped a tear from his eyes and stiffed a chuckle while Blair waited for them to notice her and wondered what the hell was so funny. "Miss Van der Woodsen, that really was the most hilarious story."

Blair wiped her jaw off the floor as they proceeded to give each other a jovial hug and S kissed the man on his cheek as she would an old friend.

For a brief moment she wondered which layer of hell she had descended to now but quickly shook her thoughts away. Instead she reminded herself that she was Blair Waldorf, more than just Yale material. She was the Yale prototype! She had nothing to worry about.

He glanced over at her and she rose from her chair, lingering a bit as he bid his final good bye. Serena turned to her and gave a wide and encouraging smile before flashing her two thumbs up and traipsing out of the office altogether.

"Miss Waldorf," he greeted, still all smiles, "So sorry to have kept you. Please come in."

She remembered to shake his hand firmly and smiled back in a subdued manner before following him into his office.

"Blair, my name is Roger Gilbert and I am the dean of admissions," he announced. "Please take a seat." She gave him one of her most winning smiles and sat quite daintily before his desk. He walked around his desk to take his seat in front of her, retrieving papers as he did.

Then he surprised her. He dropped the papers all together and leaned back in his chair while folding his hands together and examining her for a moment.

He said, "Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself."

"Sure," she said, confidently, "What would you like to know, Mr. Gilbert?"

He smiled. "You're application recommends you, highly and I see you're heavily involved in school and leadership activities but tell me something about you that's not on paper."

Blair wasn't sure of what face she was making but he proceeded to explain, "For example the last young lady was just telling me the most delightful little story."

"I bet," Blair mumbled sarcastically under her breath.

While he prattled on about what was no doubt a much abridged version of one of Serena's drunken shenanigans, Blair ransacked her mind for something to tell this man but came up blank. He was asking her to be funny and amicable, possibly lighthearted. She could only stare at him with a frozen smile on her face, hoping he'd move on to asking something else.

"I know you're probably wondering why I'm asking you this but at Yale, we're trying to re-vamp our image. When people think of Yale they think of-"

"Prestige and honor." Blair couldn't stop herself from cutting in.

He smiled warmly. "Yes, but also stiff and cold," he said which shut her up soundly.

"We're trying to move away from our frigid image of stuffy superiority" he said, "By welcoming a more diverse group and a part of that is diversity in character."

But that was everything she was. What was Blair Waldorf if not cold and superior?

He looked at her expectantly and Blair felt like running out of the office in tears.

Her jaw clenched as she tried to suppress her emotion. She hoped that she didn't look near tears. She tried again to say something normal but it was futile and she knew it. Her mind had already begun a doomed spiral and there was nothing she could do to stop her new revelation from spewing from her mouth.

"Everything there is to know about me is on those papers." She sighed and hung her head, knowing that she had just ruined her future.

But the dean had only persisted with, "Of course not, Miss Waldorf. Haven't you any…some…" For some reason this only aggravated the socialite and before he could use Serena as another shining example she very gravely informed him,

"I don't have any silly anecdotes for you. I'm not funny and I can't light up a room with my smile."

"I'm not particularly charming, or nice or f-fun." Her voice began to shake and he looked as if he would be pressing a panic button under his chair if he could.

"There is nothing," she realized aloud, "Special about me that he could possibly want."

"_He? _Miss Waldorf," Dean Gilbert asked with a loud gulp and it was clear that he regretted even asking.

Blair closed her eyes and sighed. She re-opened them and tried to look as sane as possible.

"I meant, Yale." She sounded weary and resigned.

"Ah…I see…" Handling the situation as much grace as Blair expected of a Yale alum, he began to straighten her papers and gave a nervous cough. They both rose almost simultaneously, their chairs scraping the oak wood floor.

He extended his hand, and she took it without meeting eyes. "Well Miss Waldorf, I do wish you the best of luck"

Her hands were clammy and she was having problems breathing. Not trusting her voice, she merely formed her lips into a tight grimace and nodded. He dropped her hand and she all but bolted out of there, not sparing a glance at the receptionist. She walked briskly until she had quitted the building completely and then it all dawned on her what had just passed. The cold air hit her screaming lungs. She was shaken and unsteady like a tea kettle about to sing.

And she was ready to finally sing.

Several yards away, Chuck Bass was having his way with an art history major-or rather, she was having her way with him as she kept her lips latched to his and her arms down his pants as they stumbled up the grey stone steps to her dorm building door- when he saw the crying socialite come running across the field in front of him. His hawk eyes followed her across the field and he groaned and shoved the girl away from him. Barely buttoning his pants, he dashed down the steps and darted after her.

"Blair!" He called out to her several times, but she ran like she didn't hear him. They looked mad, the both of them, streaking through the campus grounds. People were staring at them and wondering if Blair was some victim trying to escape a date rapist in a state of dishabille. Nevertheless, for reasons that were becoming clearer to him, he continued to chase her.

"Please stop," he called out to her, wondering how on earth Blair could possible be in such better shape than him.

Finally she halted under large arch. Her heels digging into the grass by a commemorative plaque of some sort. He halted too and they were both breathing heavily.

"What the hell are you doing?" he panted. His chest was bobbing up and down from his exertion. His pants had been hastily buttoned but his zipper was open and his belt had been neglected. He bowed his head a bit to catch his breath, showing a head of uncommonly unruly black hair. This was perhaps the most exercise Chuck had had in some time.

"Why…" Gasp. Huff. Gasp. "Are you running across campus like a lunatic," he huffed out all out of breath. Then he saw the tear streaks down her cheeks and the wild look of distress in her face.

"Shit, Blair what happened?"

At his softened look of concern she opened her mouth to speak and promptly burst into blubbering tears. "What's wrong with me?" she garbed.

"_Nothing_," Chuck roared at her, now seriously concerned. "Tell me what happened right now," he demanded.

"I've ruined it," she whispered brokenly.

"Ruined what?"

"Yale, the interview, my life," she said, "Take your pick."

There was a flicker of understanding in Chuck's eyes.

She exhaled raggedly and steeled herself a bit.

"But, its okay," she said, "I just want to get the hell out of here."

He nodded grimly. "Alright, I'll take you."

She looked at him just as Serena came jogging up to them.

"Oh B, why are you crying and Chuck what the hell is up with your pants."

Chuck rolled his eyes and tried to convey meaning with a look that she completely ignored by asking, "How was your interview?"

In response the brunette collapsed into another fit of tears.

"Oh my God, Blair it couldn't have gone that bad," Serena cooed, while bundling her shorter friend in her arms. And Chuck took this as the perfect time to fix his belt. "What did you say? What did you do?"

"Nothing," Blair sputtered, "I was just myself."

"Then what happened? Whatever it is I'm sure you'll do fine. Maybe you can just go back and-"

"Serena. I'm done," Blair said with steel in her voice. "I don't want it anymore."

Serena let go of her friend and Chuck and her both just gaped at her in confusion.

"Blair," S said tentatively, "this has been your dream since forever."

"I know this sounds crazy but I can't want it anymore. I just don't care."

"Good." Chuck's casual voice sliced through the headiness of the conversation and the girls turned to him. "This place has gone to the dogs anyway. I've always been partial to Harvard myself."

God bless Chuck for his skewed sense of appropriateness. As it were, Blair gave no outward response to the mention of Harvard. She only gave a weary sigh and shook her head.

"No, you don't get it. I don't want any of it," she said, "I just want to go home."

S and Nate shared concerned glances but S conceded. "I'll take her Chuck," worry and resignation anchored her words.

Chuck nodded. "Take my limo and call me when you get back."

Alas every last thing she had ever wanted was gone from her reach.

Never in her 18 years had Blair Waldorf felt so free.

* * *

**AN: Anyone out there catch my True Blood plug? Up next, Serena Noire!**


	12. Sex and Sensibility

**AN: Hi All. Thanks for waiting for this update. The saga, me vs. my computer episode xiv (The case of the busted charger) continues so it took me awhile to get a new one shipped. Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this extra long chap.**

**Oh and if I didn't respond to some e-mails. I'm really sorry. I'm still thinking some of your suggestion over. I'll definitely get back to you tomorrow on that. **

**Reviewing always = Previews. :) **

Music-

What's a Girl to Do- Bat for Lashes

Technology- The Pierces

What do you want with a human?

They never know what they're doin'

Who needs a romance

When you can fall in love with reality

The weekend came and went and the next week was all the same. Blair dragged herself out of bed, she washed, and she ate. She kept it down. Kept it together. She was not particularly sad about it, just extraordinarily indifferent. And she wasn't sure what that meant.

When Edward looked her in the eye and told her that he didn't want her, it had burned and split her down to the cellular level. She had spent several months just processing it. She relived every moment in her mind to minor detail; his scent, his lopsided smile, their silly little tit for tats and she locked them away somewhere dark and unfamiliar. A place she'd been before but had never stayed long enough to understand it. But when the dean of admissions had so casually explained to her of all the ways in which she was unworthy, it was as if someone had taken a pitchfork and raked everything out into the open.

It was a feeling ten times darker and more intense than pain and she more than welcomed it. She luxuriated in it. It was the realization of three things. One, Edward was even more of a douche bag than she could have ever previously thought. Secondly, she loved him, more than she had loved Nate, or Yale, or anything for that matter. Knowing him had been exquisite. And there was something strong in her that could not give him up. She was still very much in love with Edward F-ing Cullen, exorbitantly gorgeous, douche-bag vampire extraordinaire. And third and perhaps the most painful; She was just going to have to deal with it.

When she thought about it- And she had, indeed for those dark months after he's left- she realized that what hurt her most is that on top of not loving her, he could not bare pretending to, even if it made her blithely happy. Before her, he had confessed he saw his life as dark and listless; a hollow and never-ending cycle. And there she was, for all her faults, irrevocably and ardently in love with him. And yet he had still practically said, "Nope. Sorry. I rather go off and brood alone than be with you."

Was she really that bad?

Apparently, according to Yale she was.

Perhaps, she often tortured herself by thinking, if she had been bubbly and sweet… nicer… not so much of a bitch… No, she realized that it was impossible for her to be those things. It was like asking a wolf to be a bunny.

And she was no goddamn bunny.

She didn't know what to do with those feelings of inadequacy.

So she showed up to school on Monday looking the same and Penelope, Isobel, and Nelly went on and on about how terrible they thought there interviews went. She quietly agreed, knowing of course that only she meant it. Chuck and Serena hovered over her at school like she was their own personal bubbling and fizzling science project at any moment about to erupt in foam and sulfur. Alas, thank God for, Nate, sweet, oblivious Nate who kept her afloat with his eager indifference to her life.

She slowed up by his table in the courtyard at lunch where he and Chuck were surrounded by a few boys intently detailing their exploits in New Haven.

"Hey Blair," he hailed her and she paused and eyed him warily. But he only gave her a wide and artless smile. "Did you change your hair or something?" he asked, sounding out of element but genuine.

She hesitated. "Like, months ago… It's lighter, yeah."

"Well, it's nice," he stated with a resolute little nod. "I like it."

"Ok…" she said, sounding a little unsure. "Thanks?"

Nate's fleeting attention had already flitted to his friends and he had already begun chatting vigorously again. Fortunately his words lingered longer than his dismissal and Blair walked away feeling like a reluctant bunny.

She grazed her hand through her hair self consciously before approaching her usual table at the center of the courtyard. Serena, who seemed brainlessly rebellious at all times, was sitting atop of the table with her long legs on the bench while Isobel and Penelope sat, literally at her feet, eating their low calorie lunches and along with every word that came from her mouth. Blair happened upon the scene with weary resignation. She was just glad to hear them speaking of something other than Yale.

As it was, they were chatting enthusiastically about the impending fashion week. It did not escape Blair that although her own mother was a featured designer, her friends seemed more eager to hear about Serena's plans with her other more famous socialite friends. As every year, they would no doubt sit front row and the most exclusive fashion shows and grace the pages of numerous magazines and style blogs. Penelope was advising Serena, with an air of experience to her voice (to which Blair suppressed an ironic 'harrumph') that she should change her outfits in between the shows and after parties so that more of her photos would circulate in the associated press.

For once, Blair just chose to eat her salad and drink diet coke in silence.

Unlike her friends she wasn't exorbitantly wealthy, like the Basses or the Van der Woodsens. She didn't have a family name that carried weight to it that she could throw around to make people overlook her every mishap, like Nate or Serena. Couldn't buy them like Chuck. She had always been aware that she was the daughter of an upper middle class Italian American family from Seattle and a French expat lawyer with European ties to gentility no longer relevant in the New World. And she had conducted her self as such for she new if she wanted anything in this world, unlike her companions she would have to mind her manners and her graces. She had to be inhibited and follow the rules. She had to fight.

X

On the night of her mother's fashion week premier, Blair was sitting backstage looking both bored and annoyed at the haze of models, bustling interns, and hairspray around her. Since her mother had made it clear that she was not to help, i.e. sabotage or ruin anything, Blair was keeping to herself. She sat in a chair in front of a styling mirror, looking down at her phone as if she were texting somebody. She wasn't.

Some member of the press were skulking about. They were mostly interested in trying to catch her mother for a brief interview or photos of the backstage mayhem.

As Blair stared down at her phone, she noticed a pair of Chuck Taylors had parked in front of her. Startled, her eyes trotted up a pair of dark wash skinny jeans to find a rather tall stranger with strident blue eyes.

She saw a camera in his large hands and fixed her face into a look of boredom, which wasn't difficult.

"Aren't there enough statuesque blonds scampering around for you to take a picture of," she grumbled with a bored eye roll.

He grinned- his lips curled slow and mischievously and her stomach made little flutter. He had a curious air of sheer mischief about him that made her think of that vampire ex of hers.

"Yes, but only one short and mouthy brunette." His voice was sort of crunchy and deep. He had the perfect tone for an Australian accent. Sadly there was no accent.

Her eye brow shot up like a twitch at his comment.

"Now smile and make a pretty face for Elle," he said with amusement in his voice.

She narrowed her eyes into to slits at him and of course he chose that moment to blind her with his flashing camera. Blair blinked several times and began to protest.

"Hey, no! I wasn't ready."

He gave a good natured chuckle. "Relax, it's actually physically impossible for me to take a bad picture of anyone."

She took great pains in saying, "Really?" in the most unamused tone she could muster.

"It's actually pretty disturbing, really. It's like I was born with built in airbrush or something."

"Fascinating." She rolled her eyes.

He shrugged the camera over his shoulder and pulled out a small notepad. "So," he said, "For editorial purposes you are…"

"Bored. Pissed off. Thinking your little playboy antics should've been retired along with that antique camera."

"Ah, so mouthy brunet must be the Waldorf's Daughter," he announced conclusively without ever looking up from his notepad. Her lips tugged upwards a bit at his recognition. "Blair…? Blair Waldorf." He tucked his paper into his back pocket and her eyes, against her will, took their time in trailing up the length of him from his 80's homage T-shirt to the wide spans of his chest and his shrugged on blazer, right up to his slightly stubbled neck and dark longish hair.

She glanced over his shoulder and saw a plainly dressed woman in ballet flats and a black pant suit. She had been mentally taking stock of everything around her and jotting notes down in her blackberry and she was also keeping tabs on stranger before her. Blair immediately pinned the woman for his boss and promptly realized that she had probably asked him to walk over to her and take her picture.

"By the way my name's Marc- in case you were wondering."

"I wasn't."

"I'll be at this _thing_ after the show."

"Good for you."

"Sort of an after party, I guess."

"Sounds lovely," she said dismissingly.

He was trying to flatter her, she decided. There she was, sitting backstage in a dressing room surrounded by ethereal and sinuous models with their alien beauty prancing around- half of them in various states of undress. And she was being hit on by a young man too handsome to be on that side of a camera and much too pretty to be talking to her.

"Hmm, I think I'll call you, Ninotchka," he mused, more to himself than her. She gave him a puzzled stare. "I give all my ladies nicknames," he shrugged out with a shamelessly wicked smirk.

Her eyes ovalled as she tried to decide which ridiculously perplexing statement to address first; her nickname or the fact that he had "ladies" and was not the least ashamed about thinking her to be one of them.

"Ninotchka?"

His eyes twinkled with mischief. He closed the gap between them and leaned down in her chair so that he could, in the most deliciously smooth voice, whisper, "Surely Ninotchka you feel some slight symptoms of the divine passion; a general warmth in the palms of your hands, strange heaviness in your limps, a burning of the lips that isn't thirst but something a thousand time for tantalizing than thirst."

His warm breath swept over her collar bone, making her chest shutter as she breathed.

That's when Blair noticed her mother flagging her hysterically. The models seemed to be assembling themselves for the show. Blair needed to get out of the dressing room and find her seat. She looked shaken and she knew it and he seemed only too pleased at her discomfiture.

He stepped backwards so that she could gather her purse and stand. She rose up rather quickly only to meet his imposing height. "I have to go," she said hurriedly.

He nodded and tapped his camera, telling her he needed to get going as well.

She searched for him everywhere after the show; backstage, around the emptied chairs littered with groups of chatting people, near the press who were packing up their equipments.

Serena, who had been sitting in the front row along with Poppy and several of her more famous socialite friends tried to flag her into a conversation about the show. Blair tried not to look put out as Poppy prattled on about the number of photographers that took their picture or how many magazines and style blogs hers and Serena's photos would grace.

Blair would be jealous…more jealous if she had not been so uniquely bothered by the strange man who quoted a 1930's Greta Garbo film to her as if it were normal conversation.

Her body physically dejected and the prospects of not finding out exactly what he meant by that or why she cared. She shrugged on her heavy trench coat. It was black and made of wool but concaved sleekly around her waist to give her shape. Her metallic blue, quilted leather Channel purse with the silver chain straps completed her industrial look along with black leggings, and a gray sheath dress. Her caramel hair had been straightened and pulled into a sleek high-ponytail. She wore a matte lipstick the color of hot red and fuchsia mixed together. She blended in with every celebrity, designer, and socialite there and it was no unusual event for a photographer to pause and profile her quickly before deciding she was nobody and moving on.

More than just a little disappointed, she stuffed her hands in her pockets and made her way out of the tent virtually unnoticed by everyone around her. Outside, Bryant Park was still littered with the press and people packing and clearing things up. Few less important people were yet in lingering conversations. But much of that had already died down. The night air was cold, and it was much too freezing to be standing about outside, especially by herself.

"Looking for me," someone very amused said behind her and she was startled enough to flinch.

Energy around her skin popped and fizzed and she felt adrenaline rushing through her veins as he came around to stand in front of her. She was both excited and embarrassed because there was no reason for her to be standing outside unless she was in fact looking for him.

She was all pins and needles inside; that familiar thrill of initial attraction.

Damn her fatal attraction to ridiculously good looking boys.

"Oh?" She attempted to smile casually.

"Like I was saying before I was interrupted by 2 hour pageantry, my name's Marc." He grinned.

Damn. Pretentious _and _pretty.

"That two hour pageantry just happens to be my mother's show, guy who works for _Elle_ magazine," she retorted to remind him that he did not work for Time magazine.

He shrugged. "Guilty as charged. I should totally be using my mutant airbrushing powers for world peace."

"Good. The pope is looking a bit puffy lately."

Marc barked out a hearty laugh at that.

"So Blair Waldorf, what are you doing out here all by yourself," he asked.

Blair glanced around the empting area for an alibi and found nothing but the sound of stacking equipment and the wind. Everyone really had taken off.

She turned to him and decided to just go for it.

"Looking for you."

He looked amused. "And why's that Blair?"

She shrugged. "So I can question your taste in films."

His blue eyes lit with comprehension. "Ah, Ninotchka. We should discuss it over a drink."

"Indeed…"

Then the winds seemed to change. Cold air rustled through her coat and she felt her body tense with the sudden feeling of a presence with them.

_WHAT part of not doing anything reckless don't you understand Blair?_

She froze and Marc quirked his brow at her imploringly. Fear seemed to swarm and buzz around her skin like hornets.

_Blair. _

She closed her eyes. Now she was certain that she was losing her mind. Because she swore she just heard Edward's voice as clear as day. She opened her eyes only to be further unsettled. Said, vampire ex boyfriend was standing over Marc's shoulder in all his glory. His face was unchanging. The macabre beauty of his angular and pale face seemed to glow under the soft lights.

_Let's think rationally for a moment. _His lips were moving and he was standing right there, but the sound seemed to be resonating only in her head. _He's a complete stranger and quite frankly kind of strange. Nobody knows you're leaving with him. _

The blood flushed from her face and she gasped. "E-e-Edward-"

"Um…It's Marc," the blue eyed photographer corrected with a wry smirk, pretending not to notice that she wasn't staring past him looking pale.

At her ghastly stare he angled his body slightly so that he could see who was standing behind him. He turned back to her and scrounged his face. Instantly, she knew that there was no one there.

She tried to shake the shaken look of her face and play it cool but every time she blinked, he was standing right there.

_You're not here. I'm imagining this._

But he didn't leave.

"Edward. Leave me alone," she shouted and cringed. She was almost afraid to sneak a peak at Marc who no doubt was thinking she was a raving lunatic. But to her surprise, he was only looking generally amused, as if at the moment he was finding everything humorous and she was only a small part of his entertainment.

He simply turned around to the empty space that she was so fixated on and laughingly said, "Yes, Edward, you heard the lady. Leave her alone."

Blair was mortified when he turned to her and chuckled as if her mental breakdown was only entertaining him. And he didn't seem phased by her clear insanity at all. In fact, he seemed to be quite fluent in crazy.

He turned to her casually and asked, "You're kind of crazy aren't you?" to which she had no coherent response. She just stared at him with her mouth agape, making squawking sounds of protest.

"I kind of like it. Should we get going?" He held out his elbow in a strange show of grandeur and fully expected her to take it. After staring at him with her mouth open for a minute of two she regained just enough sense to link her arms through his and allowed him to steer her away. Oblivious to the lights, the traffics, and the sounds of the night, she stared up at him in mortified amazement and wonder as they meandered along the avenues.

She wondered if he was going to mention her little hallucination but to her fascination he didn't. His nonchalance made her incredibly anxious to know what he was thinking.

Eventually she stopped staring at him like a dumbstruck idiot. Perhaps if he could overlook what just happened, she could to.

They walked several blocks with the city making so much noise there was no need for neither of them to talk. He stopped in front of a bar, which was, as Blair found upon entering, littered with models. She tried not to look too disappointed. Because of her mother she had been surrounded by the lithe and beautiful freaks of nature all week. What else could she expect during fashion week? Marc ushered her over to a little quiet table at the far end. She sat primly and a beautiful woman, no doubt an aspiring model, immediately came and asked them if they wanted something to drink. Marc made a sweeping gesture of his hand at her as if to say, "ladies first".

Blair ordered an Appletini while he ordered a simple whisky and coke- a very manly choice by Blair's standards. While Blair silently pondered whether he might be overcompensating for working for Elle magazine, her model waitress was glancing at her expectantly. Blair only stared back with a raised brow that said, "yes?".

"Your ID," she said.

"What about it," Blair asked crisply.

"Whatever." The bristling waitress sighed in exasperation and trudged off to the bar.

If there was anything she hadn't missed about New York it was the NY attitude.

Marc narrowed his eyes a bit before asking, "So what do you do for fun, Blair Waldorf-besides have conversation with invisible men?" She expected that. There was laughter in his eyes.

"Besides that?" She pretended to mull it over. While she did their drinks arrived.

"There really isn't much to tell," she admitted before taking a miserly sip of her drink. "I do frequently take off with strange men." And that was the truth. She gave him a pointed look and he chuckled. "You?"

He thought about it and grinned. "I take pictures of beautiful women, is there really anything else."

She remembered the half naked models in the dressing room and asked, "Why'd you come up to me."

"Was there a reason not to?"

She shrugged and sipped her drink.

He angled his head to the side and stared at her for a moment, taking her in.

"You're much too serious to be crazy."

"Is that why you called me Ninotchka?"

He looked a bit startled that she caught his random film reference but then he gave a quick nod. "You looked like you needed a laugh."

She thought for a moment and then decided to smile. "If I'm Ninotchka, who are your other 'ladies'?" she asked teasingly. "Ginger Rogers and Mae West."

He stared at her for a moment in surprise and laughed. It was a deep and genuine laugh that came straight from the gut. He shook his head and took a genuine swig of his drink and then leaned back and eyed her with an appreciative look on his face.

Oh that was just Blair; A barrel of laughs.

She half grinned and settled into her drink while he appraised her. He seemed to be trying to figure her out, perhaps wondering why she wasn't more exciting and interesting. Or maybe being crazy automatically made her exciting. She pondered these things to no conclusion.

"A girl like you should be trouble," he announced when he'd finished his examination.

"I am trouble," Blair confessed ruefully and then added, "Just not the fun kind."

"That's a pity he said," and he did indeed sound a bit disappointed. For all she knew he was thinking, "You can take the uptown girl downtown but can't take the uptown out of the girl," or some such.

She was a bit disappointed too. Because for some reason she felt something about Marc. It was as a flimsy as a napkin on a wool sweater when static gets involved. He could have been any Joe-Schmo with enough static but as it were he had managed to see right through her. He had seen her cold and he had seen her crazy all in the span of an evening and he hadn't brushed her off his sleeve yet.

He watched her thoughtfully for a moment and then grinned.

"You're too pretty to be so damn serious," he announced and she gave a dismissing little snort. "I'm serious. I bet if you let your hair down someday, you might like it."

She stared at him, blinking rapidly at his frankness.

He was right. Who was she keeping it together for? Not her mother. Surely not Yale and damn sure not for Edward.

Then she slid up from her chair abruptly and Marc's face shifted to concern. Blair could tell that he was worried that he had gone too far and offended her. She smiled a little and made a patting motion with her hand, saying stay put. He did. He watched her take three sauntering steps backwards. She was moving ominously enough to attract attention from the models and modelizers standing around her but she kept her dark eyes fixed on Marc who had done her bidding and stayed seated at the table watching her as if there was no small detail of her movement he could miss.

She raised her hands with the sort of genteel sensuality only Blair could affect and she could feel the chatter in the room simmering down. She instantly remembered the feeling of being free and at the center of attention exactly a year ago. When she was on stage at Vitriol. When she had found out exactly what it meant to lose control- of ones inhibition, ones body, ones virginity. But she was at a bar, instead surrounded by people more thin and beautiful than she could ever dream. And yet, all eyes were on her- fixedly watching to see what she would do next.

She felt for the elastic suspending her ponytail and tugged until she had quite literally let her hair down. She made slow and deliberate tugs so that her hair seeped out bit by bit. And when her hair was let down she shook all traces of form and stiffness out of it with a toss from side to side until her straightened locks draped her shoulders. If she had announced that she was auditioning for the role of Alicia Silverstone in the next Aerosmith music video not one person would have questioned her. Her cherry red lips stretched into a dimpled grin.

Marc's smile faded at once and he looked as if that singular action had upset his inner being in the best of ways. He raised a hand and crooked his finger in a silent no-nonsense command. Entertained, by the attention and the turn of events, she cocked her head to the side and sauntered back to him.

"What? No smiles?" she quipped at his battered expression. "No jokes?"

"Not one," he said, throatily.

Blair suppressed a wicked grin. "Did you enjoy that?"

"Thoroughly." He was definitely in the game now and Blair could tell that he was in full man-mode. She could ask him if she'd look better with a clown wig and he'd agree if he thought that it would improve his chances of sleeping with her. She took this in silently as she regained her seat.

Though it might not have shown, her endorphins were rampant and she was trying to calm herself down from the high that small public display had given her.

They chatted for a while. Marc had left her under the impression that he was supposed to be working (I.e. taking photos of Agnes Dean who was standing at the bar to their right and wearing something strikingly hip or that 'socialite' from the Hills who was sitting several booths down. Not that Blair minded his undivided attention. She wondered if he had decided if she was crazy or exciting or both.

Not long after, he paid the tab and helped her into her coat like the good gentleman he surely wasn't before they stepped out into the cold night.

And then he kissed her.

No, "this was a nice date" or trite lines.

He just pulled her lips to his and kissed her hard. His lips were crushing and bruising but they were skilled. She reeled back on instinct from surprise and he pulled her back to him with tenacity. He was so warm, so male, and so human. He drew a staggering breath that made her feel as he would literally die of lust if she didn't succumb.

Having gotten used to being easily resisted for so long, her body responded to his urgency in kind. She shuttered and shivered too and pushed her lips to his. He stifled a groan at that and she felt, at that moment, that there was no part of her body that she did not want him to touch.

From there a sort of frenzy built up between them. They were kissing and moaning when a cab materialized in front of them and took off for his apartment in LES.

X

Monday morning Blair came to terms with the fact that she had had her fist _aventure d'un soir. _The whole affair had left her feeling decidedly sublime. After a few hours of mindless fretting over exactly who gave who his number the next day, she'd suddenly realized that the answer was neither and that she could care less.

Sure, Marc was ridiculously hot and funny in that sort of off beat and cynical way. Sure he had very persuasive lips and he made love like someone who had had much practice at it. Plus he quoted random old films to boot. But at the end of the day, he was just another pretty guy with a slightly interesting career and whose eclectic wit could be found in any coffee shop in the city. Men like Marc were a dime a dozen.

Blair decided that if he did magically call her, she would promptly direct him to Vanessa Abrams. Perhaps the two of them could wear plaid shirts ironically and discuss classic noir cinema together. Needless to say, she got over Marc almost immediately.

Sometime between washing her face and picking accessories to pair with her uniform, she decided that she fully endorsed Friday night. She felt charged up, like she'd been running on E for so long she'd forgotten the difference.

Love was overrated and cheap. Beautiful boys were her Achilles heal and her drug of choice. And as _the_ Lady Gaga would say, she was a free bitch.

As usual, Serena joined her on for their ritual walk to school. Serena was anxious to get all of her stories out and began recanting her weekend exploits immediately. Blair clamped her mouth shut, lest she follow her urge to blurt out that she turned hair grooming into a burlesque act at a bar and had unattached sex with a complete stranger. Not to mention she'd imagined Edward.

They quickly met up with Isobel, Penelope, and Nelly at the usual steps. The three girls were crowded around Isobel and peering over her shoulder down at her phone with mutual looks of alarm and awe. Neither Serena nor Blair found this strange. This was also their ritual which included pouring over every veritable fashion site immediately after fashion week for gossip, fashion, and of course photos of celebs and socialites parading around New York at their most fashionable.

"Hi girls, who are we looking at?" Blair called, purposely neutralizing her voice because she already knew the answer was most likely Serena.

"You" Serena announced leaning over to take an upside-down look at Isobel's phone.

Blair was in a patient mood and didn't scoff and roll her eyes. She leaned over her friend to see what had caused such a stir.

It was her.

The young woman staring back at her on the screen was beautiful in a way that she'd never seen herself before. She was in rare form with her bright red lipstick and hair wept up completely in a high ponytail making her face more angular. Her dark eyes weren't doe-eyed at all. They were slightly narrowed and positively feline. Her rouge lips were so stark against her white face, she looked almost vampiric.

There was nothing prim or dollish about her. Though Blair always looked genteel, her elegance seemed strangely ironic, like Tim Burrton's use of macabre creatures in Victorian milieus. She was sensual in a very subdued and controlled way.

The young woman peered out into the world looking both curious and en guarde, like a regal kitten assessing a new toy. Her mouth was curled, ever so slightly.

"Oh my gosh, B, You look really good here. I can't believe you're on the Elle website," Isobel broke her trance.

Serena began to say something along the lines of, "I don't remember you looking like this on Friday," but quickly snuffed that out by reading the caption below her picture.

"_Young socialite, Blair Waldorf backstage at her mother's debut at fashion week."_

Isobel scrolled down and showed her a cluster of pictures of the Waldorf runway and a mini interview with Eleanor herself, then clicked back to show her their page devoted to the runway and fashion week, then back again the Elle main page where she was very surprised to find that same photo again- same caption and giant link that read, "NY Fashion week" above it.

Several thoughts crossed her mind at once.

One, Marc wasn't lying when he said he took good pictures. Two, Serena was right; she didn't look that way that night except for in that one moment and Marc had captured it. And lastly, Blair had never had a magazine or website, much less Elle, be concerned with who she was and her whereabouts. Besides GossipGirl.

She imagined what that conversation must have been – on the cutting room floor of Elle. Only a handful of space on the front page to entice browsers and plethora of pictures of models and famous faces. A guy who'd slept with her knowing he'd never see her again, forking his work over to them only to find her face front and center. And she though, "Why my face?" for a quick second before her vanity won over.

Because that look was worth a thousand pictures of drunken celebrities dancing on tables.

"Wow and on the front page," Nelly Yuki chimed.

"I can't believe that's you," Penelope agreed.

In response, she straightened her stance, attempted to subdue her smile, and stated, "Get used to it, bitches," before gliding down the stairs and strutting towards school.


	13. Butterfield 8

**AN: Whoa this chapter… I know guys, it took forever! No lie I wrote 3 other chapters for this and scrapped them. But I haven't given up on this gem guys! Thanks for reviewing, emailing and threatening me. Lol it's all good. I am also very happy announce that I miss Edward and I'm bringing him back SOON. Like two more chapters to go till E-day! **

**Reviews: Thank you so much reviewers. I adore you guys. You're the best and I definitely will get back to responding with previews. You guys know I love talking to you guys.**

**Welcome aboard New reviewers:**

**Alliepaula: I do get you. And I do love the new confident B too! She's so much fun to write. She's the shiz and will Chuck ever step up to the plate. Well… BTW I'm kind of obsessed with Chuck after this week's GG. Bed hair becomes him! **

**Bellagirl008: Ooh you're right. I didn't pick up on the Waldorf background. But I had to create one for this story since I had made middle class Charlie her uncle. So in this verse, her Waldorf dad has all the money and "breeding" and her mother is a wealthy Swan. **

Music:

Good Time – Brazilian Girls

She Says – Stephen Jersek ft Leighton Meester

Please Don't Stop the Music – Jamie Cullum (cover)

~ x ~

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. While Manhattan and Women everywhere mourn the loss of one it's most enterprising playboy billionaires, we hear Blair's in question with the boys in blue. Rumor has it B's gone from Ivy League bound to Poison Ivy! Sorry, B but not even Billy Mays can get the blood of your hands.

You know you love

G.G.

XoXo.

Perspiration dripped from her chin into her sports bra as she doggedly tried to keep the pace with her fair haired friend.

"Come on ho bag. Who wants to look sexy for the photos?" Serena yipped at her like cheery despot, jogging several paces ahead of her. Not even a glisten of sweat touched her face as she, the paradigm of fitness, led her reluctant friend on a "relaxing promenade" through the park.

Blair pursed her lips, which only interrupted her panting and frowned. It was a cold day in hell when Serena was the one barking orders and making judgments. And right now Lucifer was doing a triple Lutz on ice-skates. She pressed her mouth into a hard line and summoned the stock to forge forward ahead of the smug blond.

She turned a bit, slightly jogging backwards to face her stunned friend and smirked. "Oh Serena, if I were a ho bag I would be something small and elegant like clutch," she called out to her in a sing-song voice and Serena's pace was broken by her own laughter. "However, _you, _by friend, would be ho luggage."

She turned around and spotted a runner watching her with a highly amused expression. His demeanor changed quickly and he looked a bit sheepish to be watching her and reined his focus back to his jogging. He sped off and was yards away from her before she could say, 'get me bodied', which was, coincidentally the song blaring in her right ear. The other earpiece for her I-pod was lost in her sports bra.

"Hey that's Collin Forester," Serena informed her and the two of them resumed a less strenuous jog side-by-side.

"Twenty nine year old business mogul, author, and guest lecturer at Columbia, Forester? What? Don't look at me like that. I still know my catches."

Serena shook her head slightly. How Blair managed to know every eligible bachelor under 30 in NY was beyond her. "He was definitely scoping you out."

"Scoping, eh… He's cute... in a boyish charm way"

"Charming and notorious for throwing a different girl into a cab every morning outside his apartment," she hissed- her voice upbraiding.

"Did he ever put you in one of those cabs?" Blair arched an eyebrow suggestively and was met with a frown.

"I met him a party once. He likes brunettes- or so I hear."

Blair hummed dismissively. "He must really know how to show a girl a good time if they keep coming and going."

"Blair regardless, Collin Forester is sexual taboo. Everyone knows that." Serena expostulated, sighing with exasperation. "He goes through a different girl a night and he always, _always_ tosses them out into a cab the next morning. Besides, what about Gio?"

"Who."

"Gio! You know the foreign-exchange soccer placer gossip girl saw you making out with in the courtyard yesterday."

Blair patted the air dismissingly. "Gio's old news. Besides, he's just a boy. I am so tired of adolescent boys and their immaturity. I need someone older… like Collin."

Serena stopped running entirely. It took Blair awhile to notice that no one was beside her. Serena was several paces behind her.

"I said_ LIKE_ Collin," Blair yelled, rolling her eyes.

"Blair." Serena walked up beside her with a grim look on her face. "I'm not going to watch you go on a downward spiral."

Blair's mouth fell open. "Who said anything about a downward spiral?"

Serena sighed, fighting her inner tug to back down. "I'm just saying… I support you asserting your sexual liberty… Frankly, I knew this would happen eventually but I assumed it would be when we're off at college. I get that you're single now and you're having fun and you know I'm all about that but… I just don't want you to mess around and take it somewhere you can't come back from. At the end of the day, you're still you and you care about your reputation too much for that."

Blair stared up at her for a moment and gave a conciliatory sigh. "Alright Serena, but can we just finish our jog. I only have 9 hours to fit into my dress for tonight." Blair pouted and batted her lashes up at her friend for good measure and Serena could not help but to laugh.

"Which -by the way you should definitely ditch the date with Edgar Allen Poor and come as my date instead."

Serena moaned tetchily. "It's _NOT _a _date. _Dan and I ended things months ago. He's just coming over to my house to help me with my creative writing paper."

"And I'm not going to judge you if it _is_ a date. I think this is the perfect juxtaposition of things. _You_ studying away while I enjoy tonight's soiree; showing off my gorgeous new dress and telling everyone who asks me where you are that you're with Humphrey reading Hemingway," Blair explained in her wistful yet goading way.

A slow smile slit across her face. "Why Blair are you being a bad influence on me?"

In response, Blair gasped and clutched her heart, theatrically. "Well, Serena, I never!"

Suddenly a sharp movement caught her eye. Her eyes lost focus of the smiling blond in front of her and went to the trees in the distance.

An eerie feeling grabbed her and she attempted to shake it off. Maybe it was just Edward's ghost again. Although, she doubted she was doing anything reckless at the moment. Edward only came out when she was up to no good.

And then she saw him. He was standing under a mossy tree all clad in dark skinny jeans. His hands were in his pockets and the hood of his jacket was shading his face, but she could tell he had been watching her with intensity.

She wondered if he had been watching her all that time without saying anything. Blair took a sharp breath and glanced at Serena who was staring off into the opposite direction blankly.

"Hey S," She nudged her friend lightly. "I think I just saw someone. Give me a sec, I'll be right back."

Serena scrounged her face and tried to see what she'd seen but when she looked over to the shaded area, there was no one there. Blair saw that as well and frowned.

"Be right back." She jogged away from her friend towards the grassy area shaded by a large tree with wide and dripping branches. She slowed up as she hit the shade, circling the tree trunk until she saw the sleeve of his jacket and slowly rounded tree to find he was leaning against it. His hands were in his pocket and his hooded face was cast downward.

"Blair, you need to step back into light where people can see you…slowly."

The voice of Edward in her head gave her a start. Her skin prickled and she darted her eyes around for his ghost form but they were alone and for a moment she felt unreasonably disappointed. "Slowly, Blair… back away."

Since Blair refused to give credence to anything ghost Edward said, she immediately called out to him by his name and when he looked up at her, no amount of warning could prepare her for what she saw.

She gasped when she saw him… or what was left of him. He was pale, deathly pale and his features were all wrong; all hard angles and harsh lines, like someone had dipped him in concrete and tried to carve him out. Most distressingly of all was that his once strident blue eyes were bright red and bewildered.

Instantly she took a step backward and like a fencing opponent, he took a poised step towards her. She swallowed and he regarded her with anxious and desperate eyes. Her eyes instantly darted to Serena and the people in the distance. Serena narrowed her eyes at bit when she caught Blair's expression but made no move towards her as she could only see Blair and not who she was gaping at. His figure was hidden by the trunk of the tree.

"You know me?" he asked, his voice that had been so deep and seductive before now sounded like notes on a cello; haunting. But there was something else there too, fear perhaps. When she didn't answer he seemed to grow more desperate. "You said my name. You know me from before?"

Her neck was too stiff to nod and after several minutes frozen in fear, she whispered, "Biblically," under her breath but of course he heard her. His red eyes widened and suddenly Blair didn't feel afraid. He looked so lost and so petrified, like a traumatized child. She could only pity him now.

Well, at least she knew why he never called.

"She knows me… from before," he told himself while Blair wondered how she'd extricate herself from this situation.

"You are… _were_ a photographer," she informed him suddenly because she felt she now owned this wretched creature something.

"I bet you could take some amazing photos now… like Spiderman?" she suggested, not sure why her mouth insisted on running. Maybe she was trying to buy herself time to get out of this one. "You know he has powers and he swings from buildings and he works for the papers…ok I'm shutting up now…it's just an idea."

Thankfully Marc the vampire wasn't paying her much attention. He looked lost in his own mind for a long time and Blair only watched him because Edward's faint voice in her head bid her not to make any sudden movements to provoke him.

"She didn't tell me you knew me." He was boring into her skull like she had any clue who "she" was or what "she" told him. Blair just stared at him vacantly. "I'm supposed to kill you."

Her eyes blinked rapidly at him. She shook her head several times. Marc sort of lunged and then recoiled himself at her sudden movement. "No no, don't kill me" she pleaded and then she surprised them both by giggling nervously.

His eyes flashed to hers and he watched her with an intensity that made her skin crawl but he seemed to be giving her his rapt attention and so she continued.

"You don't have to kill anyone at all. I actually know vam… people like you who subside on animals entirely. You should do that. Your eyes will turn golden brown." While prattling on, she had no idea why she suddenly felt like the authority on vampirism but she supposed to a newborn like Marc, she was. He looked so lost and confused and he was eating her every word up, so to speak.

"Just go," he said, interrupting lesson in Vampirism 101. "Don't turn your back to me though. Just step backwards slowly and I'll let you go ok. No sudden movements…you know what I am?"

"Uh huh."

"Walk."

She bowed her head slightly in supplication and took a very slow step backwards. He watched her like a hawk and it made her nervous. She wondered just how stable the new vamp was and so she attempted to distract him from her fleeing movements.

"Thanks for not killing me and Sorry about the vampire thing. I guess that's NY for you," she chuckled nervously. "Here today, vampire tomorrow."

"Just walk," he told her.

"Oh ok… " Her voice was shrill and high from nervousness. "But seriously though, good luck and take my advice on the photographing thing," she called out as she practically moon walked away from him. She felt particularly silly considering he was obscured by the low branches of the tree.

She backed out slowly until she could see the light behind her and hear the chatter of people…living people. He stared at her the whole time as if he was going to change his mind but thankfully he didn't. She spun around as soon her feet touched the walking path and didn't look back. A Golden retriever yanked on its owner's leach and started barking at the spot she had retreated from but she refused to turn around.

She exhaled a long breath of relief and her entire being relaxed when she saw Serena blond hair from an iron park bench. She was chatting on her phone when Blair rounded the bench and plopped next to her as if she'd just escaped her execution. Somewhere in her periphery, she registered that the barking had ceased.

WTF?

She was certain she'd be glad if she never saw Marc the vampire again.

"So who was that?" Serena shucked her phone away from her ear with her shoulder and turned to her with inquiring eyes.

"Nobody, it turns out. Can we leave?" Blair eyed her pleadingly.

x.

On tonight's menu was rooftop fete on a new luxurious tower acquired by a friend of a friend of Blair's friend, Lourdes.

The entrance to the lobby was awash with billionaires and their toy models and photographers oh my!

Not Blair had any of this in mind as she and her date waited in a long line of limos to enter said lobby. From the looks of it, it would be no time soon.

Across from her, Edward materialized next to Yolexi and folded his arms in the seat. Blair tried to ignore him but when she saw him purse his lips and raise his eyebrow in that intriguing way he always did it became impossible. It was like the having the sun in her limo and trying not look at it.

Yolexi gave Blair an odd looked and she quickly snapped her gaze away from the invisible elephant in the limo. Yolexi stared at her a moment and then smiled brilliantly, which was a decent distraction from the ghost of boyfriends past.

Yolexi was roughly 5'10, rail thin, with luminous tawny skin. She leaned in and placed her elbows to her knees then extended the glass pipe to Blair's lips. Blair leaned towards her and tried not to glance over at ghost face as she pressed her lips to the mouth piece and sucked.

1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3… Oh hell, she blew a staggering cloud of smoke into Yolexi's face and coughed like her throat was falling out. Her throat burned and tickled at once. Beside Lexi, Edward maintained his dark look and rolled his eyes. Blair smiled, remembering a funny story he'd told her. Something that happened to him in the seventies. Her smile broke into full giggles and pretty soon she was shaking with laughter.

Lexi stared at her blankly for a moment and then joined her in laughter.

"You good?" Lexi asked her, giving the swirl colored instrument a slight shake.

Blair smiled lazily back at her and they both felt the limo stir.

Even with the beautiful Yolexi towering over her in all her Amazonian gorgriousness, Blair felt eyes sweep her as she entered to rooftop soiree all dressed to the nines in her deep scarlet dress. The dress had one sash for a shoulder, leaving the other a bare porcelain contrast against the crimson red. It fit her curves like a second skin with a slight draping around her hips and a sparkly broach that gathered the material to one side. And it ended a boldly above mid thigh. She accessorized it with her mother's favorite sparkling tear drop diamond earring and black Louboutins and matching red lips.

A photographer at the party asked to take her photograph exclusively and she willed herself to smile too eagerly. Yolexi stepped away, allowing her a moment to, as Yolexi called it, "give good face" and the man snapped her picture and thanked her with a brief, "Thank you, Miss Waldorf."

She took a few more photos and then perused the area. She recognized a few familiar faces, mostly older socialites, and many unfamiliar ones; businessmen in tuxes with models on their arms.

Blair mockingly mimicked them by looping her arm through her date's and said, "Well, Yolexi, I do believe I brought my own arm candy."

Yolexi laughed and it was a bright musical sound. "Well if you expect me to stand around and look pretty, there better be champagne involved, B- and I'm not putting out!"

"Agreed!" As soon as she said that a young man in a tux came by with a tray of flutes. They grabbed 4, two each and finished 2 before he walked away and returned the empty flutes to him.

"Blair dah-ling!" A loud and whimsical voice rang out and Lourdes came and greeted her with two air-cheek kisses. "You came! Oh and I love the hair and the dress!"

Lourdes; heiress of 23 and international socialite, could easily be summed up with the words eclectic coquette. She was the kind of girl you'd find at a stuffy black tie affair one night and at a trendy underground electo club the next. She was an all-around party girl who found her place in varied settings and gave compliments readily.

"You too!" She wore flowing jersey dress that swept the floor floor, while the top of it crisscrossed over her breast. Her dirty blonde hair was down with a part down the middle and she always carried the air of an 18th century courtesan. "You know Lexi."

"Oh yes, I think so… those shoes…"

"Giuseppe Zanottie," Lexi informed her with a flourish.

"I live for them!" Lourdes exclaimed, always so over the top and her excitement was contagious. Lexi and Blair allowed themselves to be caught up in her whimsy.

Just then, Blair noticed a familiar face across the party. He was about average height with short, sandy blond hair and the most adorable set of dimples Blair had ever seen on a grown man. He was also looking very charming and stately in his dark tux which contrasted nicely against his light features.

"Oh, that's Collin Forester," Lourdes informed her.

"You know the Inquirer photographs him tossing a new girl in a cab every morning," Lexi told them. "He must be really good in bed…"

Blair downed her second champagne a passion which cued the waiter to approach her with a tray. Two more flutes in her hand and she was feeling ready for anything.

She left Lexi and Lourdes in an intense conversation about shoes feeling capricious enough to wonder around the party. She felt like a tiny red ribbon floating along an army of black coats and she weaved in and around the guests with a hazy smile of her face and champagne in her hand.

Someone had taken to the piano and begun to play a mellowed version of a familiar pop song and he had her swaying slightly when he started to sing in his deep crooning voice.

_You're making staying over here impossible_

_Baby I must say you're aura is incredible_

_If you don't have to go don't…_

She closed her eyes for a moment and didn't care what she looked like, standing their in that dress, nursing two glasses of bubbly and swaying with that, "I've just licked the chocolate off of a cherry" look on her face.

"May I have an invite to the private party you seem to be having?"

Her eyes flew open and widened a bit with embarrassment. She ceased dancing immediately and then narrowed her eyes at him.

Like all men, he seemed pleased at her discomfiture and gave an easy grin. "I didn't mean to startle you. By all means continue." She rolled her bleary eyes at him. "I saw you earlier and I just wanted to know your name."

"You're so good at eavesdropping why don't you tell me?" She eyes him challengingly and he didn't miss a beat.

"Okay, Ho is it? Ho Bag." She actually started giggling at his straight face and completely deadpanned voice. "That's a very interesting name, is it German?"

Blair grinned.

"I'm Collin Forester, by the way."

"Blair Waldorf."

"Blair Waldorf," he tested the name out. "Blair can I just tell you how mouth watering you look right now…dancing over her by yourself in that dress."

Blair hummed distantly and looked down at her glasses.

"But you know that already, I'm sure." Blair eyed him demurely, sensing that she was making him nervous with her curt answers. A man like Forester wasn't used to such aloofness from women and she hadn't said three words to him. She took a sip of her champagne, and his eyes were shooting gamma ways at her red lips. "You make me almost forget I'm neglecting my date."

"Well then don't let me keep you, Collin is it?"

His eyes flashed with amusement. "Is that that the way you're going to play it Miss Waldorf."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Nice meeting you, Forester." She turned her back to him and swayed over to her friends, grinning like a guilty kitten. She could practically feel his eyes burning into her dress the entire way.

As the party simmered down, Blair wondered away from her friends, seeking a quite spot near the rooftop ledge. She tuned out the tittering room and she marveled at the city around her all lit up. It never got old. The city never ceased to take her breath away. She took in the sounds, the light, and the sheer scope of it and come down from her magnificent high. She thought about Marc and his once blue eyes. She wondered how many people in a city as big as this were being bitten, how many were waking up undead, and how many murder-robberies that graced the headlines were truly something else.

But why Marc? How long has he been dead and was it just a strange coincidence?

Her heady thoughts were interrupted by the footsteps joining her. Mr. Persistent was at her side in an instant, offering her a glass off champagne. _More_ champagne- just what she needed.

"I was looking for you, Waldorf," he said, when she accepted his offering. "Thought you had left or were trying to avoid me." She rolled her eyes and he smiled, convivially.

"What happened to your date?"

He maintained his easy smile. "She's tittering around somewhere. Why?"

"No reason. From what I've heard about you, you chasing me around with your date right here, sounds about right." She pursed her lips adorably and evilly.

Understanding lit his eyes and he gave her a stony look. "I guess you believe everything you read and you hold some pretty inimical opinions of me, am I right."

"Not at all. I'm actually very admiring of the charity you've done for the Cab driver's union of NY."

Collin's face broke into a sheepish grin. It was the grin of a guilty playboy and he chuckled abashedly. Blair looked away and gave him a moment to regroup. He traced her earlier eye line to the slim towers around them.

"Like the view, Miss Waldorf?" She smiled a bit and nodded. "I would say there's a better view at my place but I think I might only be feeding into your assumptions about me."

An hour later she was standing on his balcony surveying the city scape in perfect agreement. His view was infinitesimally better. She felt like the queen of the universe up there and all her stuff; Edward, Yale, Marc- were just little ants milling about in the distance. Collin came up behind her. "Come inside, you must be cold." His voice was most entreating.

"Nope," she said. The p made a little "pop". "Not anymore."

He gave her a queer look for a moment and then it passed. He moved close to her and his arms came around her like a warm jacket. Giddily, she allowed his hands to band her waist and she swayed softly with him. His chest was warm against her bare back and she welcomed the feel. After a long day of being accosted by an undead lover it was comforting to feel his chest expand and collapse against her and his warm breath against her ear as she peered out into the city lights.

"Tell me about yourself, Blair," his voice rumbled past her ear and little fission escaped her.

She instantly took a heading step out of his embrace and turned to face him, her brow raised with a slight defiance. "No," she said, and his brow mirrored hers. His gaze told her he was not used to being defied in anything.

"No?"

She shook her head and pursed her lips. "No talking. I want the Collin Forester usual."

Whatever thoughts went through his head, he was kind enough to mask them by blinking at her rapidly and biting his lips.

With one quick dip, He tossed her up like a rag doll over his back, surprising her with his strength and walked her back into the bedroom, only stopping in front of his large bed to toss her down onto his crisp white sheets. She chuckled. He hovered over her, chucking off his jacket and undoing his bow tie while eyeing her ravenously and yet she had a faint impression that that was the only article of clothing coming off. He stilled for moment and she pursed her lips, getting a little frustrated. Her lips enticed him to capture them with his and he kissed her decadently. Their mouths ebbed and flowed perfectly with each other, his artfully tongue dipping into her and tasting her like some lavish desert.

Suddenly he snatched his lips from hers and jerked his weight off of hers so that he could speedily undo his tuxedo pants. She watched him with slight fascination with the ease and rapidity of his motions, no doubt a skill from constant repetition, as he dug into his back pocket, retrieving a familiar foil square and tore it open with his lips before sliding it on himself.

So much for foreplay, she thought as he leaned into her and positioned himself in between her legs. She was still in her dress and under things. He looked down at her with a dimpled grin and cocked head at her as if daring her to challenge this.

"You asked for this," he warned audaciously and Blair knew it was both a dare and a bid for permission. Her dark eyes riled with excitement and she arched her back beneath him. This was enough permission for him. One moment his fingers danced along her lacey panty, drawing her wetness there, and the next, he moved the flimsy fabric aside and thrust into her to the hilt.

Blair awoke the next morning disoriented and sore. She took in his large art deco styled bedroom in small doses. The light from his balcony flooded the room and harassed her out of bed. She flung herself upwards only to be stunned to find that she was still wearing one high heel and had no idea where to locate the other. She Tiny Tim-ed her way to his bathroom, first to pee and then to examine herself. Her dress was a wrinkled mess, her red lipstick was smeared all over her mouth and chin, and hey eye makeup made her look like a zombie. She looked like an undead prowess that'd just eaten somebody.

Not even mildly amused by that observation, she went to work on salvaging whatever she could. She used his mouthwash first and then his face wash and then dove into his limited hair products. Sure she'd look like a ho walking out in last nights scant dress but she'd be damned if she wasn't fresh faced while doing it. She sort of doused her hair in sink water and slathered it with mouse until it submitted to scrounged curls.

Blair gave herself a little smirk in the mirror before hobbling back into his bedroom. Aha! She spotted her other shoe by the balcony door right next to her clutch and staggered over to it. Gathering all her things around her she turned towards the door just as Collin Forester opened the French door to the balcony and entered the room.

He was fully dressed in a pair of dark trousers and a textured linen shirt and Blair noticed the sleeves had been folded, revealing his tanned and toned forearms and Omega watch.

"Hi," he greeted her with surprise and took a moment to assess her bag, shoes, and attire. "Are you leaving?"

Of course she was leaving. What else was she going to be doing after he'd unceremoniously fucked her like a streetwalker he'd picked up? Now here she remembered she'd probably asked for just that. "The Collin Forester usual" came to mind. Nevertheless, wasn't this the drill? But by his expression she could tell she'd caught him by surprise.

"Well yes," she finally answered him blandly.

He hummed with disapproval. "Actually Blair I was hoping we'd have breakfast. Maybe I'd get to know something other than your name and workout habits." He smiled hopefully.

"Breakfast?" she couldn't stop herself from saying out loud. "Well that's not very Collin-like?"

He smile turned sardonic, clearly not used to being dismissed with such insouciance. "Well, _Miss Waldorf, _maybe I'm not feeling very Collin-like this morning."

Breakfast with Collin…meh. Blair would rather have a long bubble bath.

She pursed her lips and shook her head.

His shoulder slumped a little, almost imperceptivity and he gave a resigned smile.

"I'll call you a cab, Miss Waldorf."

She could still blush at this, and she averted his eyes and bit back a smirk. He caught her blush and looked intrigued. He looked as if he meant to say something more but he didn't.

Instead shook his head and muttered to himself. "Hard to get to the bitter end, Miss. Waldorf."

Despite his tone he didn't seemed too disappointed. He seemed genuinely excited and perhaps, Blair thought, her behavior was a novelty to him.

X

Blair sighed in utter contentment as her cab pulled away from Cullen Forester's apartment. The enterprising young man himself was standing outside, watching her pull away with a self satisfied smirk. Blair waited until cab was at a safe enough distance to turn around and look through the rear window only to catch his eyes lingeringly after her. She turned around and buckled her seatbelt with a slight blush.

Her phone immediately chimed with a text.

_Miss Waldorf, last night was in a word, sublime. Lunch tomorrow? And don't play hard to get. I saw you giving me that lingering look in the cab. – Collin._

Blair was smiling so hard her face literally hurt. What was this guy's deal?

_How would you know that… unless you were longingly staring after me? _ B_

_Or I have a spy. I have friends in the 'cab drivers union' remember- Collin_

Blair's eyes immediately flew to the driver's face in the riewview mirror. He wasn't paying her any attention whatsoever. In fact he was bobbing his head along to some Hindi song.

She actually laughed out loud, which caused the driver's eyes to flash to hers momentarily. She lulled her head back against the seats in rapture. She hadn't had a guy make her laugh like that since… him.

_Ah, I've left you speechless. Lunch, tomorrow at one. - Collin._

Damn he was persistent. Blair hesitated over telling him she had school tomorrow.

_Lunch sounds good but I have class. _B_

There. That at least left things vague.

_Don't tell me you're a Columbia student. *reviewing the Professor/ student fraternization rule as I tersely await your response* _ Collin_

_No. Not Columbia. _ B_

_Well then Blair, I can't say I'm sad to hear that. What time does your last class end? – Collin_

Good. At least he didn't ask her where she went.

_3- B_

_Dinner then? And I will not take no for an answer. Remember Miss Waldorf, I know where you work out. - Collin_

Wow. Talk about persistent! And dinner? Dinner definitely had less casual connotations than lunch.

_Mr. Forester, if between lecturing physiology of business, running your business, and signing your latest book, you find the time to STALK me THEN I'll be impressed. – B_

_Miss Waldorf is there a reason you're being so difficult. I remember you being very acquiescent last night in bed… in that red dress... _ Collin_

_Mr. Forester, I will THINK about having dinner with you tomorrow night and I will let you know as soon as I come to a conclusion. _B_

There. Let the playboy sweat a bit. The driver had arrived at her townhouse and was waiting patiently for her to get out. _Hmm… Collin must tip his cabmen well. _

_Sure happy thinking Blair. There's a trustworthy rumor about me that I'm man who enjoys delayed gratification. –Collin._

_Sure that's EXACTLY what I heard about you Collin - B._

_Sarcasm isn't suited for textng, Waldorf. Dinner however… _Collin_

_Good day, Mr. Forester I am home safely ._B_

_Good day *in foux English accent* Miss Waldorf. I am pleased to hear that and I look forward to dinner. - Collin_

She entered her house wearing the same dress from last night and shaking her head at his persistence. Thankfully her mother wasn't home and there was only Derota to give her judgy looks and mumble her displeasure in Ukrainian.

She threw herself into her bedroom as her phone chimed again.

_The literary old days had scarlet letters to publicly label out the harlots from the housewives but we here on the UES have something even more brandishing; A notorious cab ride from Collin Forester. _

_Spotted: Blair Waldorf treading a well traversed walk of shame. _

_XoXo_

_- GG_

She took a deep breath and stared at a photo of herself, all clad in scarlet, getting in the cab outside of Collin's.

Immediately her phone chimed again.

_Grr…B I hope you're happy. I WARNED you about Collin ruining your rep…its all over GG! - S_

She stepped into her room and she had mixed feelings. A part of her felt like Elizabeth Taylor in Butterfield 8; she felt publicly cheapened and sleezified, like she had crossed some mile mark of impropriety that she could never regress. Another part of her wondered if that was not what she'd been aiming for all along. Wasn't this what she wanted? To be free of all the trappings of being B.

Her mother had, the past few weeks been an absence which was a fortunate thing. It meant she wasn't around to hold her accountable for her bed hopping and partying. But it also meant that she was blithely busy being swept off her feet by her divorce attorney, Cyrus. She hadn't met him yet but if her father was any indication of her mother's taste, then Cyrus must of course be a complete catch. She pictured a tall handsome silver fox with the easy charm and stylish good looks of Anderson Cooper from CNN. All she knew about him was that he was divorced like her mother and he made her happier than she'd seen her in years.

This gave her reason to redress her earlier notions of the insignificance of men, emotional attachment, and all the trappings of decorum she'd thrown out the window. Her mother seemed to be recovering well from her father's hard blow and it had only been a year. And Collin was just so charming and earnest, he made her pine for her old self; the self that could let her guard down and be into him. She released a pregnant sigh and texted her hysterical friend.

_Calm down S. It's total hearsay. Collin was a perfect gentleman and whatever rumors GG started will be quashed the tomorrow when Collin takes me to DINNER. – B_

There. She told her the truth…well not the part about him being a gentleman. She shivered as she remembered the way he fisted her hair and forced her head backwards as he pounded into her.

She threw her phone on her bed and stepped out of her dress, deciding that a long bubble bath was in order. As she relaxed in the warm water she thought about Collin. How good his cologne smelled as it lingered on her all morning, how adorable his boyish dimples were, and how into her he seemed to be. She wondered how much of his obvious fascination with her had to do with her own charm or was he really only drawn to the dark coquette who could be droll and sarcastic because she frankly didn't care.

Her bath was freezing by the time she stepped out of it and Dorota was waiting with message that "Meester Bass" was in the foyer waiting to speak with her. Dorota was obviously still upset with her since she was being so formal.

_Ugh what now! _

Blair took her time in throwing on a mauve satin camisole even though it was only noon. That was the beauty of living in a house of women; she could wear Moulin Rouge attire all day if she wanted. Blair tossed a cashmere robe around her before she descended the stairwell. She watched his tar colored hair, his hands flex in his pockets, and his facial muscles tense as she descended towards the foyer.

"Chuck," she greeted him brightly. "I thought God didn't allow you out on Sundays." She entered the foyer and sized him up only to turn around and sway towards the drawing room. He followed after her, looking very morose and stomping the whole way there.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Blair," he hissed admonishingly and she frowned and faced him. "Do you think this is _cute? _Collin Forester! Don't you have any class, woman?"

Her mouth just fell and she was certain she looked like an errand child. But really, did Chuck Bass just scold her on having class? They stood there eyeing each other for some time.

"No," she sputtered, feeling chastened and wondering why she was explaining herself to him. "It's not at all like it looks. We have a date… dinner…tomorrow. I'm not…"

His bitter laugh interrupted her. "Blair, this uncommon stupidity doesn't suit you. Don't be a silly ho. Collin Forester doesn't _do_ dinner dates… he does a different girl EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK!"

"Did you just call me a silly ho?" She s scoffed at him indignantly. "You have _NO _clue about Collin and you're obviously just projecting your own lascivious lifestyle onto him because you can't stand the sight of me enjoying myself with someone else!"

"Listen," he cut her off with his usual air of detache. "I understand that you're going through your Freudian Id phase. All, "Boohoo everyone got into Yale but me so let me go tramping around town like common slut for the cameras." His eyes slid on hers, "And it's been an interesting circus act to watch but really Blair, I thought you would've reined it in at some point before it got this pathetic."

Her incredulous expression crumbled and took all pretense of civility down with it. She looked at him, her face awash with indignity. Her pulse raced at his effrontery and he rocked back on his heels and regarded with smug eyes. She chose her sparring words with homicidal precision.

"Charles, at least I haven't been stuck in a 'Woe me, I'm just a billionaire with daddy issues,' - hedonistic, Dorian Gray phase since junior year." She spat in a voice that clawed for retribution.

He was silent.

"What's the matter Chuck, do you have portrait of yourself in your attic whose face is as twisted and demented as your soul."

Chuck's strong jaw clenched and unclenched and he was taking slow, tentative breaths. He glowered at her with all the mutiny and ire he could purchase and when he stepped close to her and raised his hand she thought it was to strike her a moment. She flinched when his fingers touched the base of her hairline, they hooked her neck and his palm careened her cheek. With this hold he jerked her forward brutely. She glared at him, her mouth pursed in challenge.

"If I had any respect left for you that would have eviscerated me," he told her in a voice so cold it could slice diamonds. "But seeing as you're nothing but a little trifle, I think you should use that mouth on more sensual words." He smeared his thumb roughly across her cheeks towards her lips. "You're such a paltry flirt these days. Go ahead Blair, say something sexy."

His dulcet voice dripped with distain, disgust and desire.

Blair was beside herself at his harshness and his brutishness. There seemed to be no line of civility that Chuck could not cross. She gritted her teeth and steeled herself, prepared to run him through with her silver tongue once more but their phones suddenly chimed in union. It was enough to break the momentary spell. She looked down at her phone as he took out his, the precise moment that Dorota rushed into the room.

"Mees, Blair I think you better call your father. The police are at door. They need to speak with you."

**AN: Food for thought. **

**Is anyone still watching GG? Who defected from team biter to team lover after this week's episode?**

**Poor Marc… here today undead tomorrow. Coincidence, bad luck, or something else?**

**Collin Forester… Of course I couldn't resist putting those dimples in this fic. I basically wrote his character b4 (minus the cabs) before GG aired. Well again I say… here today…**

**Chuck (aka Dorian Gray) is as complicated and as frustrating as ever. No change here but what do you think?**

**The new B! Slut B? High B? Coy B? What do you think? I hoped to make her change subtle. I didn't want her to just become someone else entirely. **

**Edward… Oh how I miss him. Any team biters out there. He'll be back (2.5 chaps people!)**


	14. The Pursuit of Happiness

**AN: Alright here it is kids; the whole bag of hedonistic tricks. This chapter written while listening to the whole Kid Cudi catalogue. Love him! BTW I updated my playlist. Check it out; there are good gems in there. AND Check out the OFFICIAL TRAILER for The Vampire and the Socialite. (Youtube link on profile- Thanks Seph Meadows)**

**Special Hollers:**

**Seven Secrets****: kudos for calling everyone on their double standards. We all know they would be just as unfair in the GossipShowverse. Sigh… Colin and Blair DO make a cute high society couple. Oh somebody write a fic for them please. Even a short! Marc, police, Colin… more to that later. **

**Lisa Levine**** : Bass "the ho" is my new favorite name for him next to Basstard. Lol! Oh yes, Chuck can be so harsh but that's only because he's emotionally retarded (in the literal sense). But we still love him anyway… especially when he's making that face he makes (You know the one!) **

**Chaos-and-Insanity****: Coincidences happen in Twilight…right? Oh I guess not lol. Interesting guess. Thanks for your consistent feedback Chaos!**

**Inspiration:**

**Hot Like Wow – Nadia Oh**

**Pursuit of Happiness – Kid Cudi**

**Memories – Kid Cudi**

**Yay Review= Preview (Once again! Previews are back!) **

I'm in the Pursuit of Happiness

I know everything that shines aint always gonna be gold

But hey, I'll be fine once I get it

I'll be good.

Dear Edward,

I'd like to preface this e-mail by informing you that I'm writing this very much under the influence of various substances and my friends. They inform me that drunkenly telling you off is a right I now hold. Also, apparently I complain about you. A lot. But don't allow yourself to be flattered. I know there's no way you'll read this. If I thought you would I certainly wouldn't send it. But if you do, I still hate you. Just putting it out there.

I don't know what I'm supposed to write. I have nothing to say to you. Literally nothing. You're gone and I can't blame you. I know now that I'm unlovable beyond repair. You don't want me and I hate you with the fire of a thousand suns. So I guess it's a good deal. Hating you gets me through the day when I'm not doing other things to fill my time. But your ghost still haunts my every move.

No. I'm not being poetic. I would never use such a trite line. I mean your ghost; the hazy, floating, even more judgmental version of you that stalks my every move. There's a good chance that you think I'm crazy right now. So let me rewind. Since you left your ghost- you know, like Casper- won't stop judging me. Figment of my mind or not, it's very real and it's you and quite frankly I'd like it to stop. You're ghost is even more overprotective than you ever were. It yells at me while I smoke. It tries to tell me not to take prescriptive drugs. Judges me while I drink. And… yesterday it even told me not get the Baconator from Wendy's. Obviously I would never go to such a plebian place but it was late and I had the munchies and even Wendy's seems less common when you're in limo filled champagne and models on a binge. I digress. Essentially, I hate you _and_ your stupid ghost. You promised me it would be as if you never existed. I don't recall having a ghost with judgy honey eyes following me around before I met you.

Ghost aside I want to reiterate the fact that I loath you. I hope your life is miserable and pointless without me. My life is _en rose_. I want you to know that I'm having a fabulous time without you. You once said you thought it was important for me to experience a human life. Well for the first ever I'm doing just that- being alive. I've spent my life as the, and I quote Dan, "soulless living doll". Now, I do whatever and whomever I please. Shall I tell how awkward it was making love to a British lord or the French _viscount _with your ghost in the room? Very much so. I cannot stress how much I abhor your ghost… and you. Always you. Oh and there were the affairs with the Saudi oil tycoon's son, the married broker, the Lacrosse team, the…oh I'm sorry. I do seem to remember you having a possessive streak…The Italian artist, the lead singer of Cobra Starship... Where was I? Oh yes- They're calling me the new Serena around here which amuses me since apparently I've become a bad influence on _her- _Which has dubbed me the fine title of, "Serena _noir"._ I am having what people call a downward spiral. I call it fun.

In sum, I hope this e-mail is more coherent than a drunken dial. I hope wherever you are is dark and your nights are filled with the thoughts of a thousand suicidal people. I'm smiling now. I'm vein enough to know that although you never loved me I'm anything but forgettable. Good luck trying to forget me with that photographic memory of yours. I hope it gives you hell. I never think of you. I'm lying and apparently currently telling that I'm lying with no plans of deleting that fact. Maybe it's because I know if you were here right now you'd easily read my mind and know the truth. The truth is that I'm so glad I can hate you so arduously. If I didn't have my overwhelming hatred for you I honestly don't know how I would've survived those first months after you left. It keeps me alive today. It keeps me moving, living, trying to prove to you- to everyone- that I am someone worth loving. I won't sit around crying over you. I won't be still. I won't let myself come down from this high to mourn us…

Well I must go. I'm going off to do something reckless.

-Blair Cornelia Waldorf

~XoXo~

The school bell rang and young heiresses of Constance poured neatly from their classrooms all clad in Navy blazers and plaid skirts. Blair Waldorf shrugged her tote bag over her shoulders and sauntered into the halls, languidly pulling out a pair of oversized sunglasses and dimming her world.

Everyone was shooting her furtive glances and no one would look at her directly but she heard them as they whispered.

They called her a slut.

They called her out of control.

They called her a murderer.

The exit doors at the end of the hallway drew closer and she felt Serena flank her side. She stuck close to her silently and somberly. She was Blair's rock and when Blair opened the door, she felt Chuck flank her right and Nate stepped protectively in front of her.

And it was because of them that the ambush of swarming photographers and reporters became a short lived skirmish. And the winner was undecided. Someone stuck a camera in her face and Nate swatted it away. Serena stepped out beside him boldly as if trying to deflect them with her Serena-ness and Chuck wrapped his arm around her waist and herded her forward.

All the while she stared out at the small mob through her vintage Dior shades.

The Dior shades remained on her face. Though she was safe in Chuck's limo she had no solace from Chuck, Nate and Serena's prying eyes.

Colin Forester, last seen, photographed with Blair Waldorf was discovered by his housekeeper on Sunday Morning in his bathroom lying in a pool of his own blood. Though the police suspects foul play, the locked front door and the lack of any entrance to his place other than his balcony on the 30th floor, did not rule out suicide. There are signs of struggle.

Blair shut her eyes and buried her face in her knees and no one dared stop her. Hopelessness boxed her in at every turn. Anguish outflanked her.

Suddenly Colin comes around and threatens to, no awakens something deep and dangerous in her; a need to be loved and he has to die.

Why?

Did the universe sense that she was getting comfortable?

But now. Dead.

No no! This was supposed to be her happy days. Her time to shine and be frivolous and carefree. But it seemed like every time she got a grasp of contentment something came along and slapped in out of her hands. She felt tethered to eternal darkness, every time she got comfortable frolicking in the light, it snapped her back.

Well Blair was tired of rebuilding, loosing, gaining and rebuilding again. Something had to give. She had only been alive for 18 years for Gods sake and her short life should not be so miserable! Granted she knew there were people in Africa somewhere who had it worse… or Brooklyn, but it wasn't about that. This was about Colin. She let him in, or at least she was planning to, had they ever had that dinner. She let him give her hope for something more and now he was dead.

She'd let Marc touch her and turn her into something.

Now he was forever undead.

She would never make these mistakes again.

Chuck was sitting across from her and leaned forward and placed a comforting hand on her knee, his fingers caressed his slightly. Surprised at his warmth she glanced up into his hazel eyes and for a moment she felt that he was truly with her. Her friends, Serena and Nate were stoically sitting by her. They were only around her for they existed on ground level and walked in the sun. But Chuck- wherever Blair, whatever layer of hell she'd fallen too- she felt a presence with her and that presence was him. It was a powerful feeling. Her heart lunged out of her chest forward and she held it in her hands awkwardly with no place to put it. And so she glanced over at Nate, hoping to break their unsettling connection and found he was taking his self appointed position of bodyguard too seriously. His face was grim, his back was straightened, and all he was missing was black coat with a revolver in its breast pocket. It made her smile mirthlessly. What a trio of friends she had.

Chuck trailed her eyes to Nate and sighed in quiet frustration. Chuck's limo stopped in front of her townhouse and Blair counted a least twenty pressmen loitering the sidewalk. Aggravation filled the limo. Blair only felt numbness.

Colin was dead.

Apparently everyone in the press thought _she _had some statement to make about this event. Like she was going to announce the release of her memoir, "My night with Colin Forester; The Official Tell-all," or something.

They were all jolted by the noise when Chuck's driver opened the door. Nate rashly jumped out first like he was going to do something to make them flee but he only stood in front of the limo gazing steely at the press. Serena and Chuck climbed out a bit reluctant to face the frantic media again and Blair sighed, knowing it was her turn.

What would Audrey do?

No.

Audrey was definitely too tasteful to find herself in this situation. But Elizabeth Taylor wasn't. And so while the door hung open with her friends waiting, she reached into her bag for her crimson lipstick and took her time in applying it neatly to her lips with the aid of her compact mirror. She smocked her lips twice and smiled and dimpled smile. Nate poked his head back into the limo to his shock to find Blair was undoing her hair and fixing it in the mirror. When she was done making herself presentable she held her hand out and Nate assisted her in getting out while the usually quite uptown street was assaulted with flashing cameras and shouting. To the shock of everyone the young socialite emerged from the limo slowly. Her caramel dipped chocolate hair tumbled in curls over her Oxford blue vest. She patted her pleated skirt when she stood and peered out at them through her oversized Dior shades with a coy smile on her blood stained lips.

X

The following weeks were like a reverse E-true Hollywood story special. With Colin's death Blair found herself in a new arena of fame and notoriety. But first, she became infamous. Despite her parent's and their lawyers constant pouncing on magazines for retractions, Blair was published work wide as the speculated murderer of Colin Forester.

No matter how ridiculous this claim was or how the police was appeased with her alibi, the public saw what they wanted to and what they wanted was for Blair to somehow have magically killed Colin through her poisonous feminine wiles from across Manhattan. Blair was hounded by paparazzi and the press for statements. Her name was dragged through the gutters of the NY streets and while this happened Blair resigned herself to showing NY and the World that she was Blair Waldorf and she didn't give a damn what anyone thought of her.

She partied and she drank and she was published as the, "Wiley and rebellious teen daughter of designer Eleanor Waldorf who, while Colin Forester's family pray for answers of his death and grieve, unrepentantly flaunts herself to media and is photographed with a new beau nightly."

And then like a light switch, one week the magazines beat the story of Colin's death into the ground and everyone had their fill of reading speculatives about Blair and murder and their forced retractions. And the next, the Forster story was dead and it was like the magazines forgot to stop running stories of Blair.

At first they were all overglorifed Gossip Girl posts and pictures about her wild ways. Then apparently they got tired of aligning her with malevolence altogether and just unbiasly posted photos and articles of where she was, what she was wearing and with whom.

But she still couldn't shake her nick name. At school they'd taken to calling her "Serena _Noire"_; the dark Serena. The brunette only rolled her eyes when she heard this and mumbled something along the lines of, "Serena wishes". Blair was no Serena, she wasn't bubbly or aimless. She had a goal. She just kept the truth of that goal tucked away so nobody could see and she let them see what they wanted to.

XoXo

Blair sat languidly atop the lunch table, idly browsing through Gossip Girl. Not that she needed to browse GG for news of herself but GG was feeling quite full of herself for being the first to leak pictures of Blair and a certain married millionaire broker.

She tossed her maple locks to the wind and sighed, setting her blackberry atop her pleated skirt. It was lunchtime and the courtyard was lush with gossip and male rowdiness. B flattened her palms on the polished table and leaned back, letting the faint spring sunshine kiss her yearning porcelain skin.

Serena read the post too and she was giving her one of Blair's recycled reproaching looks. Blair battered her eyes at her blonde friend and S rolled hers. Isobel, Penelope, and Nelly's eyes ziz-zagged between the two as they observed their standoff, wondering if anyone was going to speak up. No one did. As usual, Blair still held them in fear of her tyrannical rein.

Blair released an exasperated snort.

"Fine! For the record I did _not _know he was married before I went out on his yacht. Jeez, you guys are so judgy lately."

Blair stared them down icily as if challenging them to say more on the matter and Isobel and Penelope's gazes flitted to one another uncomfortably. Finally, Penelope piped up to change the subject.

"Blair," she looked at Isobel again, "We were just wondering, since you're acting student president and Prom is almost a month away if you've thought of any theme ideas yet," she said blandly.

Oh that was right. She w_as _school president. She smiled fondly as she remembered retaking that position from Nelly the moment she reenrolled at Constance. It was nice to know that she still ruled things in her little world.

"Well of course," Blair snapped at them, despotically. "I have several perfect ideas I just have to narrow them down."

"Sounds like somebody's been remiss on their SP duties," S muttered sardonically, "What with all the parties and torrid affairs…"

"Oh Serena you know Sarcasm doesn't go with you outfit" Blair mused sweetly, "And may I remind you, I 'clutch' you 'luggage'."

Again, Serena rolled her eyes and resumed eating her pita chips.

School was a strange affair. If she thought that being the center of media controversy and respectably famous granted her amnesty from the young Manhattan elites, she would be a fool. Only tall blondes have that luck. The standard was indeed a double one.

The young brunette lost quite a bit of clout in Constance. She was regarded warily as a strange fascination by the young elites. Her vassals deflected to Serena and though they still followed Blair's orders out of fear she didn't pretend not to notice their tenuous glances to Serena first.

Blair pretended this didn't bother her, though it did. She liked to put on an impervious front as if her new scandalous life was more important to her than her that of a queen B.

And now, she thought, as she walked home from school, she would have to come up with a prom theme over her already booked weekend just to prove that she was still competently in charge.

She punched in her new door code; a security measure added to her black door of her townhouse and entered the foyer with a laden sigh. She trudged passed the drawing room and saw her mother and Laurel sitting side by side.

Her mother greeted her with a pronounced frown. Looking up at her over her half moon glasses she sighed and said, "Good- I'm glad you've graced us with your presence."

Blair's mouth opened and then soundly shut. She was not expecting her mother to be home and in a meeting no less with her marketing agent. And since unlike Lilly, Eleanor actually inspired fear in her daughter, Blair had just enough respect to look abashed. She forced her mouth into a tight lipped smile and waved at Laurel.

"Stay," her mother commanded when she tried to make a bee line for the stairs and Blair trudged over to them begrudgingly. "Yes. You should hear this. Laurel, please continue telling me how the brand is doing since Blair went off gallivanting with dead billionaires and god knows who else. It's all over the papers and the internet you know. You don't think I know what you're out there doing with those _friends _of yours… partying and flaunting yourself around the paparazzi and making a fool of me and my elegant clothing line. Go ahead, Laurel, tell me what immense damage my daughter has done to the brand."

Laurel's eyelids fluttered for a moment and she looked back and forth between the Waldorf women in a flustered state. "Um… Well, actually, Eleanor things have been great for the brand."

"Ever since, forgive me, ever since Colin Forester's death, not only has our website traffic increased 100% but so has Google's searches for the name Waldorf, Blair, _and _the clothing line. People are very fascinated by your family and that intrigue is reflected by our sudden burst young clientele."

Blair's penitent smile took a smug turn as she watched her mother face pale, awash with alarm, as Laurel produced a folder full of what Blair presumed was hard evidence to back her statements up.

As if she couldn't believe it, Eleanor held on to her reading glasses and held the papers up to her face. After putting on a show of scanning the documents she glanced up at Blair with slight concession and then sighed with reluctance. But apparently Laurel wasn't finished.

"That's not all, I've been talking to marketing about our billboard campaign and we wanted to know how you would feel… that is, how both of you would feel about using Blair for the scheduled photo shoot."

Blair gasped. Her mother was silent and in the distance Dorota fumbled with the china and it clattered.

"Moi?" She fluttered her eyelids winsomely and touched her chest. "Ohmigosh… yes… I mean… oh mother, please say yes. This is …"

Eleanor was clearly unhappy with the unsavory turn of evens. She had hoped this would be an intervention for her daughter's wild and rebellious ways but now she was stuck in a tough spot. The mother in her wanted to say no but the business women say the merit in using Blair as her muse. She gave a resigned sigh and smiled at Blair concession.

"_Yes, _Blair, fine but…"

Blair had already tuned her mother out. She was ecstatic. She just knew she was due for a win in her parade of kicks to the groin from the universe. This was it- she made it! She has breached barrier between wealthy schoolgirl and famous socialite. She had gone from public disgrace and now she was a designer's muse. The face of a campaign!

Laurel continued. "And keeping with the feel of your clothing line the theme we're going for is elegance and refinement meets a little rebellion and intrigue.

X

Blair spent all of sixteen minutes thinking about plans for prom until Lexi phoned her and informed her that she should get her rich girl ass ready because they were on the list of one of Manhattan's most trendy electo clubs.

Not long after Blair, Lexi and Lourdes arrived by limo to Space where they breezed past the line into pulsating club. Lourdes was wearing a purple, one shoulder dress with a thick studded belt that cinched her waist and she led them upstairs into the upper rooms. Lexi had straightened her thick dark hair and wore short red sleeveless dress and of course Giuseppe Zanotti shoes.

Blair moved behind them in Black. The dusty black bondage dress clung to Blair like a second skin. She had boobs in it. She had an amazing ass in it. That dress was working for her like it had a sub prime mortgage to pay.

They walked along the filled sitting rooms in search of a private area and Blair gasped when her eyes locked on a familiar face.

"Carter Basin! Last I heard you were in Dubai?" She yelled over the threading electo beat.

Carter Basin, who was once a beloved heir with a prosperous future, was now a persona non grata amongst respectable New York society ever since his father disinherited him for being such a gambling, money laundering, moral less, hellion.

Carter grinned and gave a dismissive, "Meh," then turned to his exotically handsome friend. "Ladies, this is my friend Tariq."

Tariq. Blair said his name to herself silently and bit back a gasp. It meant warrior in Arabic. He was more than beautiful, he was absolutely lovely. Tariq looked like an exotic, racially ambiguous, male model. He skin was the color of aged alabaster. And his eyes were most magnificent pale green speckled with honey gold and encased by lush black lashes that no amount of mascara could replicate. His eyes were so pale yet they were stark and blazing through his black lashes. His sideburns were long the way Blair liked and his hair was a thick and curly black contrast to his alabaster skin. Though he was sitting Blair could tell he was very tall by way he sat, taking up almost all the leg and knee room in front of him

Blair thought he looked like a glorious Bedouin god!

He had an elegant mouth surrounded by a scruffy five a clock shadow that suited him and he smiled sending a wave of giggles through Yolexi and Lourdes.

"Please, feel free to stand there drooling." Carter laughed throatily.

"Ladies, join us." Tariq motioned for them to sit down with a gesture and Lexi and Lourdes were at his side in an instant, forcing Blair to take the edge, which wasn't so bad. The giant cushioned seat was shaped like a C and so she didn't need to angle herself to face Carter and Tariq. Better to ogle Bedouin hottie with!

Carter seemed mildly annoyed to have his, no doubt future scam, intruded upon by the tittering ladies but he seemed to shake himself out of it quickly.

"How do you two know each other?" Blair asked.

Carter shrugged. "Friend of a friend. Tariq's family is in oil."

"Oh?" Suddenly the nature of Carter and Tariq's relationship became quite clear. It seemed Carter had found another rich heir to mooch off of for the awhile.

"I'm pretty shocked to see you here," he said and then he turned to Tariq and added, "This isn't usually Blair's thing. She'd more of a brunch and ballet kind of girl."

"Ha, shows how long you've been out of town." Yolexi chortled.

"Oh that's where I've seen you…" The beautiful Bedouin's examining eyes flashed with recognition. "Didn't you kill Colin Forester?"

Lourdes bust out laughing and soon everyone joined her. Blair was about to protest but then she cut in with, "Yeah, this is the one."

"What? You killed Forester? Damn Blair I didn't know you had it in you. I'm impressed," Carter said and Blair rolled her eyes dolefully.

Blair just crossed her arms and pursed her lips while everyone had their fill of laughing at her expense. When they were all quite through, Tariq looked at her with those dark shaded green eyes and asked, "Do you want some?"

"Yes," she said eagerly before she even knew what "some" was because frankly if he was offering, she did want some. He chuckled to himself and passed the spout of the long pipe to his side. Lexi took it first and took a puff, then Lourdes, who monopolized it for awhile while she attempted to blow perfect circles.

"What's in it?" Blair asked when finally got the nozzle.

"Hashish, Blair," Carter answered with exasperation in his tone.

_Sheesh. SORRY If I didn't read the Opiate handbook!_

"Oh," she said dumbly and took a puff. Tariq watched her with marked interest as she did.

"Here lean over," he instructed as me moved forward in his seat, "Let me show you how to do it."

"Please, if there's anything Blair doesn't need help with its sucking," Carter huffed, probably jealous that nobody was paying his insolent self any attention.

He took the pipe from her and took an indulgent inhale and blew out perfect smoke rings. The ladies were impressed and Blair was eager to try.

She gave it a go a few times and finally relinquished the spout to Carter who waved it off to Tariq and so the cycle went for awhile while they were all getting to know each other.

The DJ started ladling out a strange beat; it was a spastic mix of techno and Egyptian belly dancing music and Lourdes was the first to shoot up with a suggestion of dancing.

"Blair? Oh I'd like to see this." Carter grinned wickedly.

"I've got moves," Blair asserted indignantly.

"Do you now?" Tariq said with a subdued smirk.

Blair rolled her eyes and stood with Lourdes and Lexi who wasted no time in making their way out from the sitting area. She followed them down the stairs and felt Tariq grab her hand lightly from behind her and whisper in her ear,

"Let's see some of these moves."

_And all my friends they tell me… you know they think I'm crazy…_

_The say they don't believe me but I know they're just jealous._

_The freaky things we do are Hot Like Wow_

Blair felt her friend brush against her lightly as she let the music and various substances fuel her movements. The music was like Jell-O, fire, and acid in her veins but Blair felt effects of the hashish mellowing her. So she swiveled her hips languidly while the dance floor thrashed and raved around her. She looked up at Tariq who, on top of being a spiffy dresser was an amazing dancer. She'd never seem a man dance so well. He moved so well in front of her, rolling his hips and stepping closer to her. He put his hands in the air and she smiled and mirrored his movements. She might have moves but his were way better. Mirroring his movements she raised her hands and rocked her hips a little faster from side to side. Pretty soon she was thrashing her hair from side to side, her brown locks flying over her face as she synced up with the dance floor. They moved in tandem like they were all pulsating down a giant drain and she was glad to go down with them.

Another song began to play- a headier and more constant thumping beat. She was all for busting her moves to it until she heard the haunting lyrics.

_All the crazy shit I did tonight. Those will be the best memories._

_I just wanna let it go for tonight. That will be the best therapy for me…_

She frowned. How dare this DJ put her plans on stereo blast like this? Tariq, still dancing and still sexy, cocked his head and examined her enticingly.

Well alright…

She rocked her hips to the house beat and smiled flirtatiously. Yolexi and Lourdes were seducing each other and every male with a pulse on the dance floor, leaving Mr. Desert Rose all to her self.

The song was true. She didn't want to think of anything and or anyone. Nobody understood her anyway or what she was doing here. But what did they know? What did they know of stalwart kisses and midnight promises? What did they know of being hunted, of nightmares and night terrors?

They stumbled out of the downtown club with the cameras flashing on them. It was blinding, Blair winced and grabbed Tariq's hand. Lexi and Lourdes cat walked ahead of them and they breezed past a long line of people waiting outside. Carter and Tariq led the tiny harem to waiting limo. Carter allowed Lexi and Lourdes to climb in first and bounded in after them enthusiastically leaving B and Tariq. Tariq made a grand "After you" gesture with his hand and Blair nodded curtly, a cheeky smile at her lips.

A photographer called to her before she got in and she whipped her face towards the voice and smiled and though easy breezy thoughts just as the lights flashed in her eyes. Tariq cocked an eyebrow but said nothing. She mirrored him and climbed into the limo, brazenly tugging him by his shirt in after her.

The limo bounded through city. Tall twinkling buildings hovered over them like jungle trees in the night sky through the tinted windows. Where they were headed, who cared? Lexi popped open a bottle of champagne and started taking turns pouring it down everybody's mouths and giggling uproariously. Carter sleepily swatted the bottle away from his face when she offered and produced a small pouch of cocaine from his breast pocket. He splayed the powder on a makeshift surface and divvied it up neatly with into two lines and he and Lourdes took their turns. Meanwhile Blair was vibing to mellow the hip hop playing. Lexi, who was her own natural stimulant, kept snatching her face away to pour champagne down it which made a mess of Blair's dress but she couldn't help but to laugh, which provided a nice intermission to Blair and Tariq's make out session.

The night fair ebbed and flowered smoothly like sensory lava lamp until about 5AM when everything took a nose dive and they all came down rather abruptly. Somehow they all ended up at the W hotel being naughty and particularly sleazy by Blair's standards and it wasn't until Carter and the beautiful Bedouin left that she felt her inner being sag to the floor.

What was wrong with her? Not here!

A tear rolled down her cheek but she felt too numb to brush it away. Lourdes and Lexi, coming down from their respective highs eyed her in concern.

"Blair you okay?"

No.

"Do you want something?"

Edward.

She attempted to laugh bitterly but chocked on a heavy sob.

Not here!

Everything was all wrong. This was all wrong. She felt her life suddenly go down the drain. How could she tell them how she felt? Sullied, tarnished, rejected. Ashamed. She felt like tonight she'd just shoved an entire holiday pie down her mouth but only this time she couldn't throw it up. These feelings of shame and iniquity anchored heavily in her gut but there was nothing she could do to purge them away.

Never in her entire life had she wanted for Edward's presence more. All the things she could not have, she suddenly felt a wave of longing for. She just wanted her boyfriend back. She just missed him, his lies. She just wanted him to appear in a jealous rage and grab her and hold her until she melted all around him. And tell her he loved her and she was his alone.

She must have been blubbering out her thoughts because suddenly Lexi let out a hissing breath of exasperation and shoved her blackberry in her face.

"Why don't you just wake this dick ex of your up with a drunk call and tell his ass off."

Ha. She _wished_ he still had his same number! Not that she ever called it to find out. That's desperate…

Lourdes, the patron of all things dramatic and excessive nodded in sound agreement. "Um hmm, call him. Bitch him out. Hand up and lets go to bed," was her methodological instruction.

Blair shook her head. Though she wasn't going to listen she grabbed the phone just to get it out of her face and ran her palm under her sniffling nose.

"No it's not that serious guys… I'm just really… tired or something…"

Lexi shrugged and threw herself on the large bed but Lourdes deflated. She was obviously looking forward to one more thrill before bedtime. Blair rose from the bed and padded over to the bathroom suite.

"You sure you're fine?" Lexi asked after she lay on her side and yanked the duvet over her.

"Yes I'm just going to go…"

Purge.

"Hey," Lourdes called to her before B shut the bathroom door. "Can you shut off the light?"

She did and entered the giant bathroom and turned on the dimmest light over the roman tub. She didn't want to look at herself in the mirror. Afraid to find some dark and salacious creature inside. She padded towards the toilet and kicked the seat down then sat atop of it. With her hands to her knees, she stared down at the blackberry in her hand.

She felt her thumbs twitching. Her emotions were banging at the door, demanding release. Hopelessness became power. The Id broke free and before her ego could kick in she was in her email account drafting a new message.

Dear Edward,

I'd like to preface this e-mail by informing you that I'm writing this very much under the influence of various substances and my friends.

XoXo

"Blair wake up!" a frantic voice called to her. Someone shook her, hard. "Blair!"

She opened her eyes groggily to find Lourdes was practically straddling her. Her eyes were bleary and filled with panic and she had been shaking for forcibly. Blair swatted her away belatedly and sat up.

The hotel room was still dark except for a TV flickering in small sitting area and Blair rolled to her side to check the time. Lexi was sprawled out next to her fast asleep. It was only 8:15 in the morning which meant she had only been asleep less than two hours. And yet an ominous feeling weighed heavily on the room.

"Your phone Blair, it been…no! Come look at this. It's all over!" Blair sighed sleepily and thought this was exactly why she never did cocaine. Lourdes was much too intense and high strung for her taste. She ignored her beeping phone for a minute only when she heard the name Bass on the TV.

Then suddenly it all came to a halt. All the room seemed to cut away, all her senses dulled and it was only Blair and talking head on CNN.

Bass dead.

_Oh God. Uh no no no no…Which Bass!_

Head of Bass Industries.

_Oh thank heavens!_

Found in his limo this morning's in a result of what seems to be a ghastly and bloody murder attempt. Bartholomew Bass was rushed to St Vincent's trauma hospital where severe attempts are being made to save his life. More on this now is our…

She disconnected from the TV and stared at her phone and saw the many missed calls; Nate, Serena, her mother and an unknown number with a strange area code.

XoXo

**AN: Happy Thanksgiving guys. I am so thankful for all you readers and your wonderful and insightful reviews. Next up, EDWARD! (Releases balloons and confetti). Don't forget to review for your preview! Don't be tardy for the preview party! **

**Food for Reviews: **

**Yeah that's right, I updated. Take that suckas! Lol. Yeah, I know… I needed to step it up with that.**

**Thumbs up (in this case, reviews up!) for drunken e-mails! What did you think reading it the 2****nd**** time around? Do you think Edward read it?**

**The injustice of the Upper East Side- Cant a brunette cut a break at Constance? What do we think of Blair new tenuous status among the young elite?**

**Chuck and his caressing touches in limos. Self explanatory**

**Calls from unknown numbers? **

**The accruing body count on the UES!**


	15. Nature vs Nurture

**Part III**

**A Place in the Sun**

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* * *

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**~x~**

**Announcements: Hey guys thanks for coming out for the last chapter with your reviews. I'm so glad to have you all back on board! I'm very happy to announce that on top of having swanky trailer on youtube, The Vampire and the Socialite is now being translated to Manderine. I will post the links to the story as soon as the first chapter is posted so you bilingual prodigies can enjoy!**

**AN: This is officially Act III and there's SOO much happening in this chapter my head is spinning. Yeah, it's going down in this one. Again, sorry for the delay. I held this chapter and revised it wayyyy too many times to count. Writing this for some reason takes much more time than my other stories. Maybe it's because Blair and Co. are much more emotionally training and dramatic. Anyway hope the hard work shows. **

**Last Minute Reviews: I didn't get to send you guys previews so here's a special holler:**

**MrsEmmett : You SO just want me to write about Emmett some more. LOL. But you're definitely about to find out. **

**Re-writtenGenius**** and ****acarly****: Wow thank you. This really made my day and validated me as a fanfic writer. No lie. To hear you guys share my crazy love for Blr/Ed over Bella/Ed is awesome. And of course your appreciation for my characterization. Lol it's not easy. Especially with Blair. It's easy to make her cold and one note and writing a chapter with her, I find, takes 3 times as long as using another protagonist. She is really a difficult character to write. I'm not all surprised why I don't see more Blr/other verse fics out there. No worries. I'm too attached to these two not to see their relationship through! No need to fill the void. Haha. **

**midorimouse7****: Welcome aboard! And thank you kindly. I know her transformation to the dark B took some time (mostly because I write slow but lets not dwell) but I'm glad you appreciated her gradual change. **

**Review = Preview… and maybe even a special holler. **

**Inspiration:**

**Death from above 1979 – Black History Month (Josh Homme remix)**

**Lost in the World- Kanye West**

**Blood Bank – Bon Iver **

Hold on children your mother and father are leaving

Hold on Children

Your best friend's parents

Are leaving

Ignoring the police, the guards, and the calamity of reporters and camera's around her. Blair pierced through the automatic doors of St. Vincent. All her limbs felt maddeningly heavy and the stark and unforgiving hospital lights flooded her senses. She clung her coat around her, for she was still practically naked, all clad in last nights sinful dress.

Her ears were ringing so loud that she heard nothing- it was like being trapped in a twisted and silent horror house. She was consumed by an overwhelming purpose- find Chuck.

As her ears slowly adjusted to the sounds of nervous fidgeting and coughing, and her eyes to the stark lights, she slowed her barrage into a hesitant amble as she assessed the sparse waiting room. She spotted them at the end of the room. Eric and Serena were all huddled in Lilly's arms desolately beside the Snack Machine like a blonde trio of pagan Saxons watching their patriarch lit afire and drifted off at sea. Serena was the first to look up. Their eyes met and she simply shook her head.

Then he was alive then. She felt her whole self sag with relief. The relief lasted all of two seconds before she was wondering where Chuck was. Perhaps he was speaking with Bart now.

But when Lilly looked up and met her eyes with twisted agony she doubted her sanguine hopes.

"No one can reach Charles," she said by way of greeting and her voice was a low croaking sound that doused her with cold dread. "They won't let us see him," she continued, shaking her head. "He was," she paused and let out a huffing breath. "Screaming and they took him away."

"Away?" she asked, lacing her voice with deliberate concern to mask her piqued curiosity. She stepped up to Lilly and her brood slowly. "Where did they take him?"

"Probably to another floor- he was making so much noise, no doubt the other patients were complaining." Eric insouciant tone injected a well needed dose of levity into the heady room.

"Either way they're not telling us anything and I'm beginning to be concerned if anyone has broken the news to Charles."

"We've all called him, mom," Serena sighed. "If he hasn't checked his messages or the news by now, he's not coming."

"It's probably for the best," Blair offered her voice uncommonly bleak. "With all this uncertainty…"

She stopped, realizing she wasn't going to cheer anyone up.

"Um… the bathroom?" she asked to change to somber subject.

"Down that hall." Eric pivoted his head towards the swinging doors.

She thanked him and hurried off. Glad to break away from the heaviness of the waiting room. Breaking through the swinging double doors, she spotted the water fountain and bathroom door with relief. She was about to rush over when she heard the conversation of two nurses over at admin counter.

"…media frenzy outside…."

"All that screaming… thank god there's barely anyone on the 11th floor…"

Now Blair had many bad habits and inherent traits but her worst of all and perhaps most dangerous was her penchant for snooping.

The 11th floor, she thought to herself, looking ponderously at the doors to Emergency room's entrance. The women at the front desk were talking gregariously and there was no one guarding the entrance. All she needed to do was mosey on down through the automatic doors, find the elevator, and…

She realized mid thought that she was actually creeping backwards towards said doors. The conversation at the desk hit a lull and she was startled when the doors opened behind her as another nurse stalked out. Afraid that someone would question her, she ducked through the doors and strutted purposefully without pause before the nurse could even look up from the papers in her hands.

Since she had gone too far to turn around she followed the ceiling signs to the elevator, pressed up and rode it to the 11th floor as if the secrets to the Da Vinci code were up there.

Immediately upon reaching the 11th floor her ears were assaulted by the screaming. It was deep gut wrenching, torturous howls and it was painful to hear. Blair felt as if she's rode the elevator into a horror movie. Was Frankenstein's monster in there? For a moment she considered riding back down and possible running straight home and getting under the covers. That's how terrifying Bart's shrieking was.

Suddenly the screaming ceased and Blair was jarred by uninterrupted silence. She stared at the door that the sounds were coming from hesitantly and a dread set in.

She didn't know much about medicine but the only thing that could be worse than those blood curdling screams was the absence of said screams and Blair wondered if she needed to get help. Before she could finish that thought of flagging down a nurse, the door flung open and two strange dark creatures oozed from the room.

They moved like shadows- all clad in black from head to toe. One was tall and sinewy with jet black, choppy hair and the other was petite with doughy cheeks and a head of strawberry blond curls. They were both absolutely and incontestably dead.

They began to breeze past her as if she wasn't there and Blair wisely glanced down at the linoleum floor- attempting to disappear into the hallway wallpaper. Their feet made no sound and as they passed her, she sucked in a loud breath. A pair of black boots stopped in front of her- forcing a very petrified Blair to look up into an unexpected pair of stylish Versace shades.

The girl was a few inches shorter than Blair and the roundness of her face spelled youth. By Blair's guess she was no older than fourteen, though her expression was lethal as she purveyed Blair from head to toe.

"I suppose we can't leave this one." Her voice was as sterile as a surgeon's knife. Blair felt a stab of anxiety in her stomach when she looked at her face. Hey girlish face forged a lethal look that sent Blair's body into a state of fight or flight.

"Fine," Blair barely heard the man say. "Quickly then, Jane- we don't want to make a scene."

Blair watched as the corners of her mouth curled into a truly malevolent smile and panicked. Jane took a looming step towards her and Blair heard the pleas usher from her mouth before she could stop them.

"No! Please don't. I saw nothing. I know nothing!"

The little imp's countenance morphed before her eyes into befuddlement. Hey eyebrows rose above her shades and her mouth twisted with an unasked question. She turned to her partner and then back at Blair before taking several loud steps away from her much to Blair's massive relief. She was literally a scowl away from peeing her imaginary pants.

"Well?" Her companion said expectantly.

"Come." She turned from Blair with an air of authority and stalked away. "This one is not worth another scene."

They trailed away without sound and it was like they vaporized before her. She stood there, leaning against the wall for support and trembling with fear.

Vampires. _More _freaking vampires!

She tried to shake off that parting look the girl, Jane, had given her- like she was marking her on her list. It scared the shit out of her. She ventured to look at the silent door to Bart's room and the knowledge that he was finally and absolutely dead dawned on her. Has those two killed him? Why or how was of no concern to her at the moment. After all this was a hospital full of blood and vampires were apparently roaming the streets of NYC in droves. If it wasn't his blood that called them to him it was probably his shrill shrieking.

Vampires could probably hear him shrieking in Japan.

Oh God.

She shivered. This was no way to think of the departed father of one of your closest friends but Blair couldn't bring herself conjure any sense of grief. She just hoped that if she kept her mouth shut long enough she'd live to never see those two again.

~x~

Chuck stared at the lifeless body before him in utter anguish. His head bowed at his father's side and he raked his hands through his wild black locks, attempting to sort through his thoughts. He knew he needed to leave, get away from the corpse that had once been his father but he couldn't do it. It was as if leaving his father's side cemented his death. He jerked up from his knees and looked up at the dead man in bitter, bitter anguish.

Unwelcome tears clouded his eyes. His whole body shook with a fury as he tried to fight them back. Even at the bitter end he could not let his hatred for Bart Bass go. His whole life, Bart had been a distant, egotistical, womanizing, and transient father who could take no pleasure in anything his son did to please him. But now he was irrevocably gone and Chuck felt completely alone. He felt desolately lost. He had no mother, no father, no family; he was lost in the world.

His chair scuffed the linoleum floor as he rose up solemnly and looked down at the inanimate body lying before him. He knew it was time to say goodbye but he had to know for sure. Reaching out of a familiar twitch, and urge he'd harbored since, childhood he touched the cold brow with trembling fingers.

Ransacking his brain, Chuck tried to remember something that would bring a better emotion out of him rather than bitterness and emptiness that tried to swallow him. But all he could remember was spending Christmases with his nanny, birthdays alone, learning his father was a ruthless, man-whoring, hellion and growing into the exact image of a man who never looked on him except to find reprove of disappointment.

His skin was jarringly cold and he saw that his father would not animate at his touch. He would never open his eyes and see the potential of the man- far better than he ever was, that was wakening in Chuck. He would never realize his son's enterprise or watch him build something for himself. And he would never say he loved him. The disappointment was flagrant and he rebuked himself for his own foolishness. Finally, with a loaded exhale, he turned from the dead man and quitted the room.

He busted through the hospital door and slammed it hard. It wasn't going to wake any dead. To his surprise, Blair was standing in the hospital lobby with Lilly and her Arian kin wearing what looked like a tiny club dress haphazardly covered by a dark jacket. Her hair was a strewn madness her eye make-up was smudged and she looked epitome of contrived pity.

When he stepped from the room, it hit her. Chuck just lost his last parent. He was an orphan. Her heart tore into pieces for Chuck she saw him looking so lost. His father was dead and Blair could never tell him why. On the record, he had a stroke in the hospital bed caused by the blows to the head he'd suffered from the earlier murder attempt in his limo. Blair sighed, feeling somehow relieved to know that Chuck was at least there to say goodbye. She sank into the mourning family, Eric, S, and Lilly's embrace and waited for Chuck to acknowledge her.

He looked on her with surprise at first that turned to mutiny and she came forward and threw her arms around him. He stiffened in her embrace and pushed her away to find everyone eyeing him with alarm.

He swallowed a bitter taste in his mouth. If they were expecting to find a sobbing little boy they were fools. He wasn't going to sob and pour his heart out in front of these people, least of all Blair.

"Oh Chuck I'm so sorry," she said, trying to search his eyes for something.

"Why?" he spat viciously, "I'm not." He turned on his heel to leave and Lilly called out to him.

"Charles, please don't leave like this. We know this hurts but you need to stay with us. We're family."

"I have no family," he shouted and it was wretched sound. The agony in his voice echoed in the halls.

They watched him walk away from them, each of them too struck by his misery to move.

"Go with him, Blair." Lilly's hoarse voice sliced through their desolate haze and her blue eyes met Blair's pleadingly. "He'll listen to you. I know he will. Just don't leave his side."

Blair nodded, too numb too do much else. She met Serena's crystal eyes briefly before turning on her heal and following Chuck's trail of unshed tears to the elevator and then to the New York streets where, a cloud of news anchors and policemen loomed over the hospital entrance.

She spotted the mocha complexion of his driver, Geoffrey first. He was standing by an unfamiliar black Mercedes, holding the door ajar which puzzled her. She was even more confused as she watched Chuck's raven hair- his back turned to her as he began to dip into it.

"Chuck!" She screamed, desperate to be heard over the flashing lights and the clamor of the press. He stopped at the entrance and turned, eyeing her with a look so weary and so pained she felt her heart lunge out to him.

"Where's your limo?" She asked because it was the first thing that surged to her mind.

He looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. Was she missing something here?

Shaking her head dismissingly, she decided to tell him what she came for. "Never mind. Chuck I'm coming with you."

"No." He began to turn away from her again and she could feel that she was losing him.

"I'm not letting you go through this alone," she bellowed, attracting even more attention to her self.

"_Goddamn" _He hissed and winced like a she'd woken him a hangover with a bucket of ice. "_Fine. _If you're going to cause a scene." He took a side step from the door and waved his hand towards the empty seats.

She harrumphed. Not even giving credence to his attitude, she flounced right past him into the small black car and he climbed in after her begrudgingly. The door was shut and soon Geoffrey was maneuvering around the swarm of police cars and white vans.

Clad in silence, Chuck wouldn't look at her. His eyes were fixed on his hands as they clamped and unclasped into fists in his lap. Geoffrey was driving uncharacteristically slow and it was clear that he was awaiting instruction. Finally, Blair took mercy on the man.

"Geoffrey, can you take us to the Empire."

He nodded emphatically from the rearview mirror and let the gas pedal have it. The drive was short and silent and soon they were outside of Chuck's hotel being accosted by yet another swarm of press. Geoffrey had to practically batter people away to get to the door and Blair was almost afraid that frenzy would break out. Geoffrey was at the brink of threatening fisticuffs. Chuck sauntered through the crowd to the lobby doors absently, trolling a nervous Blair behind him. She didn't breathe until they reached his private lift.

Letting her head sag to the steel walls she watched him as they moved up. Pretending she wasn't there, his hands were in his pockets and he seemed to be falling into autopilot. His actions were dispassionate and mechanical. He seemed more hung-over and tired than a boy who'd lost his father.

Again she tried to force down the image of dark creatures flashing past her- the ones that really took his father's life. The worst part was that there was no way she could tell him. She couldn't tell anyone.

She sighed in relief when the doors chimed open revealing not a harem of naked skanks or thongs hanging from the ceiling fan, but instead a freshly kempt room. The maid had already come by, thank God.

Ignoring her, Chuck, strode mechanically into the room, not caring if she came in after him, which she did. She watched him stalk over to his liquor cabinet and prepare a glass of whiskey on the rocks without gusto. He stalked over to his freshly made bed, sat down at the edge, and took a salving gulp. Blair was silent. If ever there was a time not to lecture Chuck about his drinking habit if was now. Instead she hesitantly approached the bed and stood directly in front of him.

She waited forever for him to acknowledge her and when he did, he looked up and skimmed her briefly. His hazel eyes were calculating as they assessed her. She was still wearing that now dingy club dress under a jacket and the same sky high heels. Her hair was pulled into a messy greasy ponytail and she smelled of smoke.

"You need a shower." It was the first thing he'd said to her since the car.

She blinked rapidly and tried not to take offense.

"Take a shower- here."

She roller her eyes and spun on her heels and bridged towards the bathroom. She turned at the door and eyed him tartly. "Yes, sire. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

He rubbed his face for a moment and looked at her as if she were one of his fancy appliances he wasn't sure how to work. But then a grin broke across his dour face, lighting his features with almost demonic mischief. Blair's breath hitched and she spun around and shut the door to the bathroom without another word- locking it and reminding herself that making him smile- albeit sinfully- was the reason she was there.

The shower was a god sent and salving. She emerged refreshed and sponging her sopping hair with clean white towels. Finding a freshly laundered white robe with the initials "C.B." embroidered, she cloaked herself and padded over to his cabinets. Luckily for her, Chuck kept new toothbrushes in stock and she could finally brush her teeth and fully wash last night away.

She emerged from the steamy bathroom to find Chuck in to same position. Looking down at his now empty glass, his expression was dark and contemplative.

With a laden sigh she crossed the path between them and did what she couldn't do at the hospital. There was no need to talk or say something inane like, "Sorry your terrible father got mauled by vampires." She simply folded her arms around him and engulfed him in almost motherly affection. He stiffened for a moment and then she felt him relax against her robe. His head rested in the folds of her robe at her bosom. She rested her chin on top of his black hair and though he didn't hug her back, he exhaled a shuttering breath against her.

The room pulsated with latent sexual tension but the feeling that coursed through them wasn't lust. It was need. Slackening her hold and gazing downward she found that he was examining her with a completely raw and unguarded expression on his roguish face.

He set the empty glass aside.

"Chuck," she began casually attempting to draw him out of himself. "You can talk to me- you know. I understand if you don't' but... it's just… it's okay if you're. I mean, I know he wasn't the best of dads but…"

Chuck sighed wearily. Already tired of sympathy he could only wonder how he would deal with the impending barrage of condolences without snapping.

"Essentially what I'm trying to say is I'm here," she surmised feeling flustered and foolish all of a sudden. Obviously she was way out of her element. Chuck looked at her with an air of passive misery and she sighed, feeling her body slink away from him. Suddenly he grasped her by her sides and kept her still.

"Don't," he said, his thick voice was raw and raspy and his bleary red eyes held a desperate plea. "Leave," he finished gutturally.

Right there she saw his tragedy. Chuck Bass the heir to billionaire's fortune was completely alone in the world. Sure, he could fill the space around him with women, alcohol, limos, and lavish parties but it was all rouse. Chuck was actually capable of loving and letting a soul in through his devilish exterior. He loved and he loved his father- despite everything, he loved this man who was now forever gone.

Cascading waves of purpose fell over her. In that moment her life didn't feel so hollow and aimless.

He loved.

Now that Chuck's constant source of disappointment and rejection was finally gone, there was hope for Chuck's soul yet. Blair knew nothing good came natural to him. Someone had to nurture those feelings in him and only she in the world understood him. Only she could save him.

"Oh Chuck," she crooned and threw herself into his arms- feeling a need to assure him.

Holding him in her arms she wanted to nurture those feelings in him. He nestled his face in her neck and it took her a moment to realize that he was trembled. Moisture trickled against her neck. It took her morbid mind a few seconds to realize it wasn't her blood but hot tears.

"I won't leave Chuck. I love you."

~ x ~

"I told Chuck I loved him." Blair whispered to Serena who was looking reprehensibly bored at the priest's long and protracted sermon. Her eyes were drooping and threatening to irrevocably shut if Blair didn't provide some form of entertainment.

The Basses were Catholics. Who knew?

Serena's guffawed and appeared to be chocking on dead air. Her blue eyes slung open demandingly. "W-what? Where when?" she hissed, trying to keep her spastic inquisition a low whisper.

"Yesterday," Blair answered leisurely glancing at the slick dark mass of hair in front of her. The spring day was sunny and warmer than usual. Idly watching the moisture on the back of his neck drip down into his stark white collar, Blair smirked. _Sweating like a sinner in Church. _Or in this case a sinner at a funeral on the sunny stretch of green. Like a lost boy he gripped Lilly's white hand and she squeezed his.

Lilly had almost swooned from the heat, having worn many layers of black and an overcoat. Her yellow hair was shiny yet limp, her lipstick was affectedly dull, and she looked like an over stylish, designer wearing bag lady. She'd overdone her role as the grieving widow just a tad. From an outsider it would appear that Chuck was supporting her but it was the other way around.

Serena and Blair stood aloof from the small huddle in abject boredom.

She turned and looked up at Serena.

"Oh no you don't. I know that look on your face Blair and I don't like it," Serena contested a little louder than she'd hoped. "You're plotting something aren't you?"

Unfazed, Blair shrugged- allowing it and then went back to admiring her handiwork; Lilly and Chuck, holding hands and supporting each other. Chuck- letting down his constructed walls. Feeling.

"I meant it."

Serena gasped. "_Please _tell me that's your sympathy running rampant? Love? Chuck? That's ridiculous. You two are like oil water. Chuck and Blair? I can't even imagine it!"

Blair chuckled sardonically. "Oh please, S. There won't be any Chuck and Blair or at least any time soon."

Serena balked. "He didn't say it back?"

"Of course not!" Blair had to suppress her giggles. Now that was a ludicrous thought. Even if he did, she would know he didn't mean it. And the last thing Blair needed was another person lying to her about how he felt. Chuck simply needed her. She could feel it in her gut how vital she was becoming to him. How he transformed around her when he wasn't putting up that careless guise for other people. How he could breeze through a thousand women and yet carefully and almost reverently make love to a virgin in the back of his limo.

_Where the hell _IS_ that limo?_

"I think…Chuck really cares about me," Blair confession a bit startled by her own confession. "Love no. But in his own way I guess. I don't know. Maybe I'm just projecting or maybe I'm just tired from not sleeping in days but I… think that it's been in front of me for awhile now. I've just been too caught up in my own drama."

"But Blair, don't you want to be loved?" For a moment Blair wasn't sure if that was Serena asking or the small remnant of her old romantic self. Was eighteen too young to be eternally jaded?

Finally it came time for everyone to speak their piece. The funeral was small- just a gathering of the Van der Wooden brood, a few associates including Blair's mother, the Archibalds, and a one or two family members including Jack Bass who had only gotten in from his flight from Australia an hour prior. The funeral had been a hasty arrangement. Lilly and Chuck agreed that it was best thing bury him immediately to preempt the media circus. As it was, only a select few knew about it and it was a very small and somber affair.

She smiled at her friend and said nothing.

Her only true love had been a cruel rouse. In hindsight she realized that she was so mesmerized by him that she was willing overlook the obvious. He was a predator. A killer. A mass murderer of men, women, and innocent furry forest creatures. He had her so wrapped up in his bullshit that she willingly gave up her life and friends for him to live in the middle of nowhere. She would've given up more if he had asked; her future, her life, her soul. It wasn't until it was all said and done that she realized she was in fact just another form of prey.

Now with Chuck at least she knew where she stood. There could never be a Chuck and Blair at least in the conventional sense. They were friends – and even sometimes that was a stretch. She loved him- but not in a way that would give him power to hurt her. She believed that somewhere underneath all the fucked-upedness there lie a similar notion in him. And perhaps one day it could be explored.

All she knew was that when the realization came over her she knew she had to tell him. Not because of displaced sympathy or a need to hear it back. It felt right and honest. It felt liberating. Like she was taking back her heart from Edward piece by piece. Though she wasn't whole yet, that part of herself that she'd lost -That part that could feel and connect was in her hands again. Not so she could throw it all on Chuck and repeat the story of idealistic expectations, betrayal and heartache. No, she wasn't about to give anyone that power over her any time soon.

The bright sunshine grew dull behind a large cloud as the funeral came to a close. Serena was called away to by her mother and everyone began to slowly make their way towards their cars. Chuck did not immediately seek her out. He and Jack were carrying a conversation all the way towards the sidewalk, leaving Blair alone. The small party slowly flowed from the green grass to the sidewalks bracketed with black cars.

She sighed. So this was her thanks for being Chuck's crutch and telling him she loved him; to be completely passed over for a random relative. Her mouth formed an exasperated smile and she shook her head. _That's Chuck for you. _

"Blair."

Hearing that familiar voice her body tensed with anticipation and she spun around. Sure enough he stood there. All his macabre beauty was slightly tamed into a pair of fitted black slacks and a grey collared shirt. His wild bronze locks were brilliantly array and his ivory skin glowed luminously under the pale sunshine. His height was ever imposing and she looked up at him, slightly stunned into sheer awe of him.

"Really, are we hanging around in graveyards now? You really are pushing the vampire stereotype a little far aren't you?" She packed her voice with as much annoyance and ire she could evoke, careful to keep her voice down, lest she attract too much attention and have everyone think she was insane for talking to invisible figures.

His toasted eyes narrowed slightly and he cocked his head to one side and examined her, saying nothing.

She breathed out an aggravated sigh.

"What are you doing here anyway? I'm at a funeral not shooting up heroin in an alley. What the hell are you here to judge me about?"

His eyes lit with some sort of realization. Then he held out his index finger, motioning for her to hang on a second with one hand while he reached into his back pocket with another and withdrew a cell phone. Completely baffled by his movements, she could do nothing but watch him hazily. Soon she felt her own phone vibrating in her coat's pocket. Rabidly breaking her vision of him, she searched her pockets for the offending phone. She briefly saw the unknown number on her screen without processing it. She assumed it was someone from her party wondering why she wasn't with them. She quickly held the phone to her ear.

"Yes," she snapped annoyed and there was a pause.

"Can my ghost make phone calls?" a smooth and mesmerizing voice asked over the line and she felt her throat drop down into her stomach.

With a heavy dread she pulled her gaze up to the figure before her and watched in horror and he exaggeratedly pulled his phone away from his ear, held it out in front of him and shut it- as if instructing her to do the same.

But she was too stunned to respond. The phone dangled against her ear like a dead limb.

"Blair." He took a tentative step towards her and scrambled backwards- finding enough coherence to drop her phone from her ear.

"You!" She accused belligerently. "You!" she said louder again as if she couldn't believe it.

"Yes" he answered calmly and patiently- waiting for her to collect herself. His placid demeanor only frazzled her more.

"You're here?"

"I got here this morning," he answered her fluidly "I tracked your scent here."

"But- but. But why?"

"You e-mailed me yesterday morning," he answered neutrally, watching her eyes widen in horror. "You sounded…troubled."

Troubled? Troubled? #$$$!#$

"You weren't supposed to read that," she sputtered- horrified. He looked so unfazed by her it was painful to watch. It was nauseating that he could stand there so placidly after what he'd done to her while she was reduced to a nervous, stammering mess at the sight of him. It wasn't fair!

"No," her voice quivered as she attempted to steady her gaze at him- a task that she found cumbersome. His beauty, his nearness, his enthralling aura and his voice were like a stifling noose around her neck, gagging away her air and sense. She could almost swoon from it.

"_Why _are you here, really?" she finally pressed out again.

His hands levied pockets and his hair brushed his forehead as his gaze flickered downward. His bronze hair was wild and disheveled. A familiar urge to run her palm along those fiery locks made her fingers twitch. The urge to draw near him was the most overwhelming one.

"Honestly?" he asked, looking at her and keeping his hands firmly in his pockets as if he had his own urges to battle.

"I miss you."

Something struck her hard. A traitorous emotion she hadn't felt for a long time hit her like a bullet in the back. Struck dumb and motionless by it she just stared at him, her face contorting with all manor of bewilderment.

In all her months alone she had fantasized about this. And how she'd dreamed of making him feel all the things she'd felt; all of bitter hurt that had morphed into anger and hatred. She had had a speech so cavalier you would swear Aretha Franklyn wrote it. But her emotions were singing a different tune and unfortunately it wasn't I Will Survive.

_He misses me?_

"Blair!" Her mother's voice pierced through the spell and she turned to see Eleanor flagging her over. She and several others were boarding their black cars, limos, and various vehicles, and moving the caravan of mourners over to Lilly's for a literal pity party. Eleanor's driver opened the back door for her she had paused, rested her hand on the door to reel her daughter over. Eleanor must have noticed Edward belatedly because when she did, hey gaze turned to ice. Of course she ignored him completely and made a beckoning motion. "Come Blair, we're following the procession to Lilly's."

She looked up at him- ashamed that she was silently asking for approval. She didn't want to break away from his presence- afraid that he would evaporate again.

"You have my number now," he said, filling her foolish heart with hope. Goddamn him. "And I don't plan on leaving town any time soon," he said looking at her steady. "But that's entirely up to you."

_Entirely. Up. To me?_

"W-where will you be?" her mouth asked before she could stop herself.

"Carlisle owns property in Soho," he informed her speculatively. "I won't keep you, thought Blair. The sun is out and I know you have to comfort your friend."

He said this knowingly and although there was no hint of jealousy in his voice – she didn't like his sagely tone. And she didn't like that she was being dismissed. Sun was indeed brightening through the clouds. Although his skin wasn't sparkling outright it was luminous like an opaque stone.

_He won't keep me?_

She was struck spellbound again. The bow like curve of his plush lips, his long thick sideburns and heavy arched brows, his angular nose was slightly off kilter. Someone had broken his nose when he was a human, she thought. How she wished she could break it again. Right then she really felt like slapping him, or throwing an unladylike punch. Or staking him in the cemetery like Buffy the vampire slayer.

Since none of these were viable options. And since her mother flagging incessantly like a crazy ribbon dancer she could only sigh like a lost idiot. She felt like she stumbled off of a cliff and he was making no move to catch her. Her mind was swirling with questions and he knew them all but he made no effort to supply them for her.

_Misses me? _What the hell did that even mean exactly? What was she supposed to do with that?

"Blair I am going to leave you," her mother's impatient voice threatened.

Blair sighed and spun around, afraid of what looking at him would do to her, and scrambled out of the cemetery towards' her mother.

~ x ~

She rode Lilly's private lift and the door chimed and opened quickly. She felt the heady tension in the room as soon as her mother and she stepped into Lilly's great room. Besides the sparse gatherings of black clad mourners sipping tea, there was something amiss. It was like stepping into a wall of Jell-o and her eyes roamed the room in search of him.

She spotted Eric and Serena first. They were gathered in front of the giant ode to Prada with their gazes plastered on their phones.

As if they could feel the heat of her desperate gaze, their golden heads lifted in union. For a moment they both gaped at her like an intruder. Eric's mouth dropped and he looked, of all things, impressed. Serena did not share her brother's sentiment. Her blue eyes locked on hers pouring out disenchantment.

She didn't even want to check her phone to find what Gossip Girl had to say about this.

When her eyes darted from them, they failed to spot his raven hair. It was evident that Charles wasn't with them. Since Serena and Eric had yet to come out of their, no doubt, Gossip Girl induced stupor, she turned on her heal and marched towards Chuck's room.

It wasn't so much Chuck's room as it was the guest room Chuck frequented when he was in the mood to acknowledge the fact that he wasn't an orphan. Otherwise, Chuck lived in his hotel suite at the Empire.

But now he was an orphan. His mother and father were dead, like Edward's… the thought of Edward struck her with panic. Why the heck was making this about Edward. What did Edward have to do with this?

Edward. Edward. Edward. Her mind taunted her.

Without bothering to knock she barged into his room to find him sitting on the edge of the bed, shoulders slumped, looking down at the two objects in his hands, a cup of whiskey and his phone.

He was surprised to see her and it showed.

Sighing heavily and rolling her eyes she crossed the threshold and trudged over to him.

"Hey, stop being an idiot and get out there. There are at least 30 people who want to tell you how sorry they are for you and you are going to accept every single condolence with grace and gratitude."

He chuckled sardonically, but it sounded like relief.

"Yes _mother_," he sighed, trolling himself up from the bed drunkenly and attempting to look annoyed at her self appointed role of his handler.

He left his phone on the bed and she slipped of her coat and threw it beside it, then slipped her arm through his. They left the bedroom arm in am to greet the Upper East Side presenting a united front and leaving their baggage in the room behind them.

Spotted: Poor dear Chuck and the Lilly-kin gathering around to pay respects to the dearly de-Barted. Rumor has it Chuck Bass wasn't the only orphan in attendance. That's right EC is back in town- and doing to C at his father's funeral what C did to E at his father's wedding! Is anyone seeing a triangular pattern here? I guess there's only one thing to do now; decide if you're team Edward or Chuck, of course!

P.S. Is anyone else wondering why every time a business tycoon dies we find none other than little B in the crux of things?

You know you love me

X.O.X.O

-GG

**AN: Happy New Year guys! Last year I updated this story on Christmas Day with the "Somewhere in Time" chapter! Crazy huh? So much has passed in this story since then. And now we've finally reached the 3****rd**** act. **

**Food For Reviewer thought: **

**I've opened up many many mysteries in this story. Is any one keeping track? Lol. And is anyone starting to figure it out. And where the hell is the famous Chuck limo?**

**L.O.V.E.- What do you think of all that lurve going on in the UES? Chuck and Blair? Is anyone shocked by this? Or did you see it coming? What do you think of her justification of telling him she loved him? **

**Vamps in the City- Two…well, 3, vamp sightings! WTF. Any else think NYC has a serious vampire problem?**

**Poor Chuck- As you know I'm paralleling season 2 in this so many of you knew Bart's death was coming. **

**Edward! **Balloons. Confetti** Discuss. (And yeah, he's kinda distant and elusive here.) **

**Team Chuck? Team Edward? Some of you guys are still team Forester. Hahahaha LOL. Mind you, the thing I hated most about Eclipse is the love triangle. I HATE HATE HATE love triangles. This is the love story of 2 people. So don't anticipate me dwelling on the drama. **


	16. The Morning After

**AN: I am so sorry guys. It has indeed been along time since I left you without a strong beat to step to… lol or an update. BUT I have not been idle. Someone just got back from Italy *Points to self and grins*. I've been out and about, seeing the world and trying to make a transition from college grad/bum to taxpaying adult. But more to that in the footnote. **

**Please review and let me know what you think. As usual I ALWAYS answer reviews… except for some latecomers and I usually catch you in the shout-outs**

**Hollers!**

**bwlm2011****, ****Beeme-Bob****, and ****TragicBlossoms****. Welcome aboard the slow running yet always stimulating Edward and Blair train. We have T-shirts but they're held up at a factory in China and all the workers are on strike. And ****TragicBlossoms**** I simply LOVED your review. At first I thought it was hate mail! LOL. I'm so glad I've made you a fan of these two and all your questions will slowly be answered in the next two chapters for sure. **

**Mstica****, I totally respect your view on Edward and taking him back. I wasn't a fan of how quickly Bella took him back in the series either BUT I know at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how much sense you try to talk into somebody, the heart wants what it wants. That's definitely something I'll keep in mind here. Everything's happening really fast but what does Blair really want for herself? Definitely will find out. **

**Music:**

**Rolling in the Deep – Adele**

X

While the rest of the world spends its Monday's recovering from hangovers and desperately rushing to return to the fold, the UES wakes up late and lush with new scandal and intrigue.

Just two days ago NY lost yet another charismatic and controversial billionaire. But don't worry, B -I've got your alibi this time. We all know you spent your Friday night bolstering favorable foreign relations with the Middle East.

While on Sunday, the Basses gathered to secretly send Mr. Bass off. I doubt a certain 6'3 someone with copper hair and smoldering eyes was there to pay his respects. Now that EC has brought sexy back whatever could B be doing canoodling with her enemy, CB? Have you called a temporary truce to console each other or is it something more?

Now that the dust has settled and the Morning after has arrived, it May be time for a plan, B?

XoXo

GG

~ X~

Monday

The room was silent. No one dared to breathe. Everything stilled except the papers flapping in the attorney's hands. Jack seemed to embrace himself. Lilly clutched Chuck's hand tightly. Chuck used his free hand to nurse his glass of scotch yet held off on taking a sip.

"Everything?" Lilly clarified, breaking the silence with acute disbelief.

The lawyer did not look down at the papers again.

"His accounts; domestic and overseas, his stocks, his holdings, Bass industries valued at 2.7 Billion, his properties valued at 780 million, all except for control of Bass Industries in Australia and South Africa which, as I already stated, are named under Jack Bass."

"The fuck!" Jack shot out of his seat. "This kid? This fucking screw-up?"

"That's enough, Jack," Lilly barked.

He began to laugh depravedly. "This fucking kid. You think the shareholders will stand for this. Ha!" He stomped over to Chuck was grabbed him harshly by the collar and shook.

"Do you even fucking understand what's going on right now?"

Chuck limply stared up at him while Lilly swarmed over Jack and attempted to separate the two.

"Yes, you're ruining my suit," Chuck answered dispassionately before he was squarely punched in the face.

~ X~

While Chuck spent his Monday morning in his father's office, feasting his one good eye laboriously over the written documents before him and nursing his other swollen eye with an ice back – his step mother, and his lawyer sitting before him with heavy expectations and feeling the weight of being aged 30 years in 3 days on his shoulders –Blair spent her morning in bed- her own. Chuck felt a stout sense of security in knowing this. As if the weekend had morphed her into a strange new role that he could not entirely define. He needed her right now. He needed to know that she was still under her mother's roof and more specifically not anywhere near SoHo.

He must have audibly grumbled because Lilly's gaze flickered to his eyes and he could tell she was assuming he found offense to the papers she had so quickly produced.

His father had not left her a cent beyond their prenuptial agreement. She had found this out barely an hour ago and yet here she was, in his father's office, handing him the papers that would not only make him her seventeen year old ward but vest over his power over his father's company to her temporarily.

Of course her eminent practicality barely fazed him. He as apathetic as a disillusioned war veteran but he knew what she was trying to preempt. Bass Inc. was not an Island but beholden to investors and a board. All of which would literally go insane at the mere thought of Chuck, unscrupulous Fuck-up, even sitting the seat he now resided, at his father's desk overlooking the whizzing city.

_What the fuck was so important he had to show up at my father's funeral?_

To one-up him like Gossip Girl implied, no doubt. Chuck felt his lips pull into a mirthless smirk. He had to give him credit; the pretty boy was definitely more of asshole than Chuck had given him credit for.

He signed the papers and slid them towards Lilly and her lawyer.

"Will you excuse us for a moment, Michael," Lilly asked the attorney who gladly nodded. He stood up and shook Chuck's hand before he exited the office.

When they were alone Chuck could feel her eyes piercing him through the silence but his mind all over New York and more specifically, on the Upper East Side.

"Charles," Lilly began hesitantly, "I hope that you understand that my adopting you is not just a business formality. I have truly come to care for you as my own family."

He was about to snap at her but bit back the words in him mouth at the mental image of Blair slapping him across his already sore face.

He forced the most unconvincing smile on his face and nodded. Saying nothing.

"I know you don't understand how I can be so…" _Calculating. Cold. Heartless_. She released a forlorn sigh. "I've never been a widow before but I am a mother and I will do whatever it takes to protect my family."

"And you are my family now Chuck and it is my job to protect you-"

"Because you think I'm a fuck up," he filled in for her abruptly.

"What? Of course not Charles." Her eyes softened. "Because you're still young and it's my job to shelter you from the board and Bass Industries, not the other way around Charles. I know you're a brilliant boy and I have no doubt that you handle taking charge of this company when the time comes."

Chuck was not sure if he had words to respond and so he remained silent. Letting her words ripple through him.

"Which brings me to the matter of your driver; Godfrey." Her voice regained its scheming edge.

He looked up at her with a dazed expression on his face. Unbelievable. This woman switched emotional gears quicker than Blair.

Seeing his expression she flustered a bit. "Michael is very trustworthy. I can have him draft a contract."

Chuck rolled him eyes and sighed with exasperation.

"Charles, listen to me. You can't just wait until scandal is at your doorsteps. We have to be proactive about these things," Lilly explained defensively.

God forbid a _scandal _happens.

"And a scandal is not good for Bass Industries, especially now Chuck."

Chuck could only shake his head incredulously.

How his father managed to borrow his limo and driver just so he could go "incognito" to a seedy strip club and end up getting killed was beyond him. He knew that he was just in a bad side of town at the wrong time but… it still made Chuck uneasy that it happened in his own limo. Almost as if it could have easily been him. Now that that limo was lost to him he could not bring himself to buy another one. Not with all the memories the old one held. Not with all the bothersome brunettes who confessed their love for him that he had deflowered in the back seat. Not with that.

"So you want to make sure Godfrey doesn't write a tell-all for the media, got it Lilly. Is there anything else?" He sighed wearily. It really had been a long morning.

Sympathy softened her eyes. "It's really been a long few days, hasn't it?"

"Yep."

"I'll go now but…" She looked up at him pleadingly. "Will I see you for dinner tonight?"

Dinner at Lilly's with the cozy Arian family… He supposed he had nothing else planned.

He nodded but was distant in his thoughts. She rose quietly and quitted the room, leaving him to his fathers… _his _desk. For it was his indeed. The magnitude of his father's company and his fortune settled on his shoulders, aging him almost instantly.

Now he knew how Bruce Wayne felt… or at least the guy from Inception. Was his father taunting him from beyond the grave for giving him everything?

Did he actually think him mentally capable of taking on such a feat? His screw up son? His mistake? The murderer of his beloved wife?

He was not at all relieved that he had just allowed himself to be hastily adopted by Lilly or that he had just vested all his inheritance to her. She more than anyone knew how the media would react to Bart Bass's reckless, playboy son taking over his company and fortune.

He sighed wearily and pulled out his phone. This was exactly the sort of time he needed to hear from Blair.

~x~

Blair lay awake in her bed approximately an hour after her alarm went off. She lay on her side, clutching her phone under the covers when she felt it vibrate. She regarded her glowing window and presses her swollen eyes shut then reopened them, repeating the action in a futile attempt to fight back…tears.

Eventually she felt her mattress sink behind her shoulders and a warm hand pressed against her forehead.

The action was so foreign to her that if she had not caught of light waif of Chanel no. 5, she would have automatically assumed it was Dorota coming in to check on her.

She rolled around until she was facing her mother, dressed a la mode for work and gazing down at her with worry.

"I overslept." She did not mean for it to come out so garbled and thick but as it was, her voice betrayed her instantly and Eleanor's dark eyes narrowed at her with disquiet.

"I…figured this weekend has been…trying. You can just sleep in today if you'd like. I called headmistress and she was understanding, considering…"

_Oh right. My best friend's step dad is dead. Wait, does she really think I'm lying her boohooing over Bart Bass?_

Blair nodded, not trusting her voice any more than she trusted her mother's intuition at this point.

But Eleanor did not rise from her bed. She simply sat there for awhile and said nothing. Absently her hand grazed Blair's hair in an unconscious attempt to tame it.

"So," she began finally, her voice a bit hesitant. "Are you going to tell me what _that boy_ is doing in New York?"

Blair chuckled ruefully at her mother's succinct questioning and pressed her face into pillow. Just the thought of "that boy" sent her teetering on the edge of another emotional episode.

"Making my life hell," she moaned into her pillow.

Her mother hummed in agreement. "They tend to do that don't they?"

She looked up at her mother tersely.

"Do go on, Blair. I'm sure you know just about everyone would like to know what was so important he simply had to speak to you at Bart's funeral about," she went on, clearly disapproving of his bad taste.

"He-" she began to confess how she pathetically poured her heart out to him via e-mail, making herself look like some psychotic train wreck, thus, basically forcing him to come check on her pitiful welfare -but she couldn't do it.

"He misses me," she breathed out- settling on the most confusing and less pitiful part.

Her mother harrumphed. "Well isn't that nice of him to decide after all these months."

"He…I'm so- confused," Blair stammered.

Eleanor stroked her daughter's hair with her thumb calmingly. "Blair we certainly don't hide in our beds crying over boys."

'Speak for yourself," she choked on a fit of tears.

"Just when I was- just when I was moving on," Blair stumbled on her words inarticulately.

"Yes my love," her mother soothed, "Men will _always _know the most inopportune time to waltz back into your life; precisely when you've moved on."

"H-he has this-this power over me. Still! I can't- It's not fair," she blubbered, gasping for air at this point. "It's not fair…" She whispered again and to herself this time.

Her mother sighed. "I'm leaving for a meeting with some suppliers but I truly hope you're not still wallowing in this bed when I get back."

_Psh._ _So much for maternal concern_.

Blair groaned in response. Really those were her designs for the day -plus trying to shoehorn in some much needed sleep. The last time she actually slept was last Thursday and even that seemed years away.

Her mother got up and she could hear her heels clicking across the mahogany floor. She paused at the door. "And Blair darling."

_Jeezus what now!_

"Don't let him get away with it."

With such cryptic advice she was gone and Blair was alone with her thoughts, her damn cell phone, and her tears.

She got a hold of herself and decided to check her phone.

Five missed calls. Perfect.

One from Chuck, one from Serena, and the rest from… Edward.

_What the hell does he want now?_ She let out a cathartic sigh.

_I told Chuck I loved him and now my undead ex-boyfriend is in town to torture me._

Her emotions ricocheted all over the place, bouncing from anger to pain and then settled on the floor of abject misery.

As if on cue her phone vibrated and a text appeared on her screen from the number she refused to program into her phonebook.

**Blair, we absolutely need to talk. Meet me in 20mins at Antique Café. **_**Please. **_**_ Edward**

Wonderful. Not only did he inhabit her Island but now he was camping out in her neighborhood.

Was he on some sort of campaign to destroy her?

She rose from her bed quite lethargically and managed to brush her teeth and wash her face, finding a miniscule amount of comfort in repetitive actions. She even managed do her hair and make-up – telling herself the entire time that it was not for him.

No. She flat out refused to see him again.

Blair blew her hair out and applied a small amount of coconut scented, frizz serum and then took great pains to flat iron her hair into caramel sleekness.

She concentrated on her reflection gravely and tilted her face as she drew a cat like line of black under her lids.

She would be absolutely contented with life if she never saw or heard from Edward Cullen again!

She disparagingly poured through her closet before finally zipping herself snuggly into a forest green, Grace Sun, sheath dress. With its textured pattern and flattering fit that clung to all the dips and wisps of her curves, it ended several inches from her knees revealing a charitable amount of her toned alabaster tights. Exposed and in the front, the thick sipper detracted from her otherwise uneventful chest area.

_Goddammit! _

It took her the entire time of getting ready to realize what she was doing. Feeling bamboozled by her own subconscious, she stormed over to her bed, yanked her phone and stared at the message.

**Fine. _ Blair.**

Snatching her purse off her chair by the door, she swept out of her house in a pair peep toe ankle boots.

The sun hit her face like slap. Why was she letting him lure her? What did he need to "talk" about so badly? And why the hell couldn't she just stay away?

Her mother's words came strolling through her mind. _"Don't let him get away with it."_

God, it only it was that simple. If only he held a flicker of the torch she carried for him she could make him pay. But sadly it didn't matter how much she did her hair and makeup or how feminine she looked in her dress and heels or how long and shapely her legs were- it was all lost on him. She might as well be walking wallpaper.

Deflated, she decided to check on the other mercurial male in her life.

**Playing hooky from school today. U ok? - B**

He answered almost immediately. **Nursing a black eye and sipping scotch. Nothing out of the ordinary here. What r u up to Waldorf? _C**

She almost asked him how this happened but stopped herself, thinking she really didn't want to know what he must have been up to to acquire such an injury.

**Just rolled out of bed. Probably going to sleep in a bit more. _B**

**Sounds good. Feel free to let me know if you want some company. _C.**

**You're incorrigible, Chuck. Later. _B**

She stuffed her phone into her purse. Good. At least things with Chuck weren't weird considering. The lie she'd told him about being in bed notwithstanding.

A few blocks later she rounded the corner of the little café, took a deep breath, and pushed the wooden door open. The café was dimmer inside with red brick walls. The faint, dusty sunlight streaming through the windows cast an aerial ambiance on the little niche café.

The space was packed with muted chatter as about fifteen or so customers sat idly round the small tables and couches. She spotted him instantly to the far corner at a table near the wall. His elbows were on the table and he was running his fingers through his hair restlessly. Her stomach twisted in knots and she froze, afraid if she'd likely topple over from unease if she took one more step near him. Sensing her presence he looked up and it was too late for her to turn back.

He had her bewitched the moment his eyes locked on hers and then grazed languidly down her body. Edward slowly rose from his seat and waited for her to approach him. Caught in the invisible lasso he must have thrown around her waist, her body began to glide towards him- feet barely moving as if floorboards morphed into a malicious conveyer belt. She stopped moving when she realized that only the span of a small circular table separated them. He looked handsomely suave as ever. His bronze hair was the tousled stuff of Harlequin fantasies. His eyes were as dark as espresso. He looked decidedly adolescent today with his dark wash jeans, Chuck tailors, a plain white tee under a grey, partially unzipped, hooded jacket.

"Hi." He stammered nervously with a sheepish nod of the head. "I wasn't sure you would…"

"You have ten minutes and I have another engagement to keep," she informed him stringently- bursting the bubble he had created around her. She brusquely grabbing a seat opposite his and slamming her bag on the table then crossing her arms over her chest.

He might have caught her off guard yesterday but today she's make damn sure that all her defenses were up. She stared up at him impatiently as he tried to gather himself and he took his seat hesitantly.

Once seated, he ran his fingers through his hair and clenched his jaw while she tried to process the fact that she was sitting in the secluded end of a café with Edward Cullen. She could not even look at him properly; instead she focused her eyes on the grains of the table.

"Blair." He said her name pleadingly. "I'm going to need a little more than ten minutes."

"Haven't you wasted enough of my time, Edward," she spat. She meant to sound cruel and chary but her words came out incredibly wounded.

Edward flattened both his palms on the table and took a deep breath then exhaled. He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry Blair. I don't know what to say… there's nothing I _can _say but god Blair I regret hurting you _so _much."

She stared at him; mouth agape and feeling like the wind had been knocked out of her.

"You're _sorry_?" She asked in astonishment, "You dragged me out of my comfortable bed to tell me that you're _sorry_?"

"No, I-"

Oh but she wasn't finished.

"What? Did the cold, bloodthirsty, vampire finally grow a conscience? You're sorry? Why Edward? Because you manipulated me and lied to me? Is it because you knew my every weakness and insecurity and used them all against me? Because you used all your effing irresistible, vamp-charms on me and lured me brainlessly into constant peril? Because I ended up in the hospital in a neck brace for your ass! Because you almost drank me dry? Is it for toying with me and throwing me away when you were done with me?"

"Yes," he hissed quietly, more upset with himself than anything.

She laughed bitterly.

"Well _I _don't accept," she told him, pursing her lips. "Furthermore let me inform _you _that you can disregard every thought that crossed my mind yesterday. You caught me off guard is all-?"

"Blair-"

She held up her hand. "And whatever sense of pity you have that's forcing you to be here interacting with me is grossly unnecessary. I didn't mean anything in that e-mail. I was drunk and I was high. Yes, Edward. High!"

Edward actually rolled his eyes at her. "I got that much from you prefacing it with 'I'm under the influence'."

"You don't approve." Her mouth curled into a self satisfied smirk.

"Obviously," he said in defeat. "But seeing as I cannot stop you, feel free to do whatever makes you happy. Are you happy, Blair?" he demanded.

At his audacious question her nostrils flared with anger.

"How _dare _you ask me that," she bit back in a low voice.

He held up his hands. "You're right, I'm sorry. I don't want to start a fight."

"You started this fight six months ago!" She yelled and everything got quiet.

Propped by his elbows on the small table he leaned into her and she instinctively retracted. Afraid of what could happen if she let him closer to her defenses.

"Blair, remember that night?" No detail needed, her face hardened with cold recognition.

"Do you remember the way you looked at me that night?" He asked in a pained yet non-accusatory tone.

Yes and no. A lot of the gory detail of that night, she'd sort of actively blocked from her memory. No, she did not remember how she looked at him but she remembered the dread. She remembered Carlisle gently tending to her while she shrank from his touch. She remembered him softly assuring her that there was no one in the house but Edward and gently walking her downstairs like a nursery home attendant.

One step after the other they descended to the living room. Edward had cleaned the bloody smears and broken glass from the floor and he was standing there waiting for her, looking chillingly anxious. She felt her eyes widen. His eyes were like two black holes. He stepped towards her and she remembered cowering into Carlisle's arms.

"Blair…please…" He had said and she shook her head. She just couldn't. Right then she just wanted to be far away from him and that house. The thought of being near him, him touching her, any of them- it made her blood go cold. Her whole body went rigid with fear as if he's pointed a loaded gun at her.

"That night was a wakeup call for me," he told her while she felt the color drain from her face. She had suddenly realized, for the first time, how she had looked to him.

"I thought I could protect you from whatever dangers the world threw at us but failed unforgivably to consider the fact that _I, _Alice, Emmett, _Jasper_, Rosalie, Alice, and even Esme are the greatest threat to your safely. In my arrogance I allowed you to believe that there was ever a moment when any of us wasn't keenly thinking of that tantalizing blood running through your veins."

Oh my God.

She gasped and met his eyes. "I think want that coffee," she announced, not sure if she was ready to hear what came next. Her non sequitur announcement sliced through the jam of tension between them and he eyed her questioningly before his mouth succumbed to that lopsided smile.

Damn.

She shifted to get up but he was on his feet before her. "Just coffee?" he asked.

She just stared up at him dumbly for a moment. "Um... uh huh."

"You remember how I like it?" She asked. Realizing her double ententre, she dropped her eyes from his, feeling her face grow hot with his intense gaze.

His jaw tensed he measured his words out carefully. "I remember how you take your coffee, yes."

When he stalked off her mind was welling over with flashes of that night. Small details she'd never lingered on shoved to the forefront of her mind.

Like Carlisle taking her home- she had wanted nothing to do with Edward, the guilt and pain on his face and his pitch black eyes. She couldn't dare look at him when he looked like that- like a creature- like Jasper. Like James.

Could it be that this was entirely her fault? Had she hurt him first? Had she fired the first shot by rejecting him, by shrinking away from him, by making him feel like a monster? Did her cold rejection make him realize he couldn't love her?

God this was confusing...

He came back with a cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin that she had not asked for and said, "Eat something, your blood sugar's low."

"Goddamn vampires…" She accepted the coffee and the blueberry muffin charily. She began to take a sip of the foam cup. It smelled deliciously like warm mocha and espresso then paused.

"_Yes_, Blair," he hissed, "I asked for Spenda _not _Sugar."

Despite herself she actually felt herself smiling. On a good day she had always driven Edward positively insane and she had almost forgotten how good it felt to test the boundaries of his patience. But then again… Her smile felland he eyed her with confusion. Perhaps that was why he couldn't love her in the first place.

"Blair…" he began pleadingly but she could not bear to hear him confirm this out loud.

"You were saying," she prompted, taking a stingy sip of her coffee. Ready to hear that she was at fault.

He sighed. "Muffin."

Fine. She ripped off a bit of the top and plopped in her mouth, chewing exaggeratedly. He smiled and his entire face lit up with angelic beauty. Good thing he started talking again before her mind got sidetracked.

"Jasper apologized profusely that night," he said quietly. "God it must have taken four vampires to rip me off of him. I had my teeth in his neck and he wasn't fighting me. Alice was screaming, pleading with me but I was beyond sense or reason at that point. I just wanted to kill something and that something was jasper."

She tore off another piece of her muffin.

"Emmett fared no better with me. I wanted someone to blame so badly," he murmured darkly, his eyes becoming glazed with pain at the memory. "But eventually Carlisle broke us up. He had returned from taking you home and promptly informed me that I had no one to blame but myself."

Blair felt the muffin fall like led in her throat. "I need to get out of here," she half stammered and started to get out of her chair. Her wooden chair made a loud scrape and his was more silent as he instantly stood.

He looked outside and then she followed his eyes to suddenly cloudy skies and sighed, knowing he would follow her if she left.

"I need some air," she pleaded.

"I'll go with you." It wasn't a question and soon they were both standing outside on the sidewalk. He handed her her cup of coffee and she took it, wishing she had thought out her escape plan.

She took a sip of her coffee and exhaled deeply.

"Better?"

She nodded gratefully. "You can tell me now. I just needed a minute."

Edward nodded. "Shall we walk?"

They walked in silence towards the general direction of Blair's house.

Finally Edward let out a breath and continued.

"After much arguing and shouting my family decided that keeping you around them was fundamentally wrong, against nature, and against Volturi law," he stated in a low gravely voice.

Volturi. She's heard that term before.

"You see when my family welcomed you all those months ago it was under the assumption that I would…" He seemed to loose his breath and Blair held hers.

"Would change you," he finished with disgust while she just stared at his with wide eyes- hoping she knew where he was going with this.

She thought back to the secret Carlisle had asked her to keep so long ago and it all made sense. Her close relationship with them all had been on a condition all along. They never planned to keep her human.

"Carlisle was going to change me… if I wanted…" Her voice was raw and hushed.

"I bet he was." Edward's demeanor hardened beside her. She could literally feel the icy chills wafting from his person. She did not speak again. "Carlisle decided it was time to pack up and move on."

"The abridged version is that I was given an ultimatum." He stopped walking and looked right at her. "Change you and take you with us or leave you alone entirely to live your human life."

Blair stopped breathing.

"I didn't…" His face tensed with pain and he looked down at his hands. "I was going to stay, Blair, in Forks, with you."

_Uhmigod Uhmigod Uhmygod!_

"But Goddamit my family was right. As much as it tore me up inside, deep down I knew I couldn't keep you like that. If I couldn't keep you safe around my family Blair…" his voice petered off and he exhaled roughly.

"If I kept you Blair," he started over, this time his voice was leveled and low, "We would have been alone. My family would have denounced me and I realized that as long as I kept you with me you would draw the attention of every vampire who saw me with you. And it would take one word from one of those vampires to reach the Volturi; the family that governs our kind, to end both our lives Blair. I knew this when we were together but in my arrogance, I ignored the dangers, thinking I could protect you from anything," he confessed ruefully.

"But what's more it finally dawned on me just how much you would sacrifice to be with me- even if I kept you safe it was foolish to allow you to believe that you could have your life, your friends, family, a career or simply any of you goals in life if you stayed with me, Blair, who can never settle in one place more than just a few years."

"I realized that it would never have worked between us in any way that could truly make you happy. I would have been selfish and you would have done all the sacrificing," he sighed out. "You deserve so much more than I can give you. And so I lied."

He looked down at her and took a steeling breath.

Then he suddenly spoke and there so much anguish and remorse in his tone Blair could never doubt a word was true.

"If you never let me speak to you again, hear this: In my long life I have done some monstrous things and I have told some horrible lies. But the day I left you Blair was the darkest day of my entire existence- darker than the day my father and mother died- or my own death. Blair when I told you I didn't love you that was the blackest form of blasphemy."

She felt her air around her still and in the moment, the streets stilled, the honking stopped and the people stopped milling about. It was as if all of NYC or at least the UES were interested in what she would say. She had no words- no cataloging emotion to give the feeling that consumed her. None. She might have called it numbness but it was far from that, although not completely unlike it. She watched him reach for her hand but he stopped short and a look of frustration passed over his features and he dropped them to his sides- his hands forming tight fists.

She _wanted _to hear this. She needed to hear it. There, she'd found it at last. She felt mislaid, utterly lost. Her eyes skirted up to his, tentatively afraid. What to _feel_?

Her body began to vibrate internally and she heard a sound like a thousand hornets swarming around her. Shifty woozy sensations began to envelope her. This meant one thing and one thing only. Edward Cullen was touching her.

She looked down at her arms and found his hands were bracing her right above her elbows. His cool hands sent shivers up her arms right to her neck, stopping right at the sensitive spot under her ear where he used to kiss her tenderly. It used to make her spine blaze, her breasts ache and belly coil with daunting need and the ghost of that kiss was doing all three.

"Blair." She shuttered and forced herself to look up at him. His dark eyes penetrated with a look that sent a wave a longing over her.

Oh God, Edward was here! And touching her, and looking at her with that looks he gives.

Oh God!

He was here and he _missed _her? No, _loved_ her. Always loved her! It was just too much to grasp when she was already trying to balance a heavy load of anger, resentment and pain for him. She felt the weight of everything topple over and fall from her.

Her face crumbled as she looked at him with poignancy in her watering eyes. She opened her mouth- a cry there that would not form and reached for him. She reached out to touch his chest. The need in her was calling out and he pulled her to him. She was pressed to his chest in an instant.

She felt his chin rest atop of her hair lightly. "Oh Blair," was all he uttered and it was like ardent prayer.

Her mind was a blubbering mess but she did not care. Edward was here and holding her in his arms and all she could feel was an overwhelming need to touch and be near him. She could just melt into him, right there on the Manhattan sidewalk.

"Blair I know that I've screwed up," he confessed and his blunt usage of a modern world staggered her a bit. "Some of things I said to you- oh God Blair- I want to take them back. I would unsay them if I could Blair. My God, Blair you need to know that I am absolutely, irrevocably and entirely in love you."

A relieved and incandescent, "Oh" was all that hurtled from her lips.

"It's just that when you e-mailed me…" Blair winced against his chest. "I realized just how much words my words have meant you Blair – how badly I had used your own weaknesses against you. You trusted me, you let me absorb your dreams, your thoughts, your fears and I used them against you for the sake of expediency and for that I deserve your ire, Blair."

At this point there were little auxiliary functions left working in Blair and all she could do was stand there and gape at him, absorbing each word with another layer of shock with the precise expression of a lobotomized patient.

"You are perfect as you are, Blair." He informed her pleadingly. "Blair you are brilliantly witty, strong and yet refreshingly delicate and not to mention devastatingly gorgeous." He let out an exasperated breath and her confounded expression. "Blair, please, if it was me who made you doubt that, I'm so sorry. Tell me what to do to undo it," he pleaded.

Suddenly Blair became very aware of the people milling around her. She felt as if she was putting on a silent passion play in front of the entire street. Though from the outsider's perspective it looked like an extremely pretty ginger was having a heart to heart with a stunned crash dummy, Blair's insides were flailing through the streets, hailing to the heaven's desperate pleas of "why?".

She cleaved from him instantly and took a step away from him, leaving them both feeling incredibly bereft.

"Blair, say something- please," Edward implored after several moments of stunned silence passed.

"You shouldn't have left." The first thought that crossed her mind escaped her lips in a terse whisper.

His beautiful features contorted with pain. "I can't be with you, Blair," he uttered almost too low for her human ears. "As much as I love you- absolutely adore you

"You never even offered me a choice," her voice hissed bitterly.

He chuckled mirthlessly and there was nothing so chilling as a vampire laughing without mirth.

"I've thought about it," he confessed. "Sometimes I ask myself if the only thing standing between us is me."

"And my burgeoning hatred for you, of course," Blair supplied, spitefully.

Edward waved a welcoming gesture with his hand, allowing it. He sighed and peered desperately into her eyes and took her by complete surprise when he asked, "Blair, if I had told you there was no way we could be together without turning you… If I had told you I don't know what I am, if I have a soul, my purpose, what drives a creature like me besides the overwhelming urge to slaughter every living thing around me- If had offered you a choice, let me go, move on with your life and forget me, or let me end your life. Let me turn you into another facsimile of the loathsome killer you see before you and fill your life with regret, would you have come with me?"

She thought back to her self then and tried to recall the magnitude of how much she loved the boy she now resented and tried to put herself in that moment. Blair with all her dreams and hopes for the future; Yale, success, a life in the sun and spotlight. Would she have given all those things up?

"No," she whispered, barely believing her own confession. He nodded, having known this all along and opened his mouth to comment but she interrupted him.

"I wouldn't have gone with you, Edward and I wouldn't have let you leave me either."

He nodded again. "If you knew a fraction of just how much power you hold over me, I doubt I would have even made it out of your uncle's front door."

For some reason Blair felt there was subtext to his statement that she did not understand and it unsettled her.

They fell silent for a moment and then he asked her, "Do you really hate me, Blair?"

Blair shrugged. "What do you want from me, Edward?"

He sighed, deep and forlorn and then promptly changed the subject.

"So you're with _him_ then," he said offhandedly, catching Blair by surprise but leaving her with no questions as to who he was referring to.

She shrugged again and tried to tamper down her schizophrenic emotions. "It's complicated but I suppose yes, I am with him."

"And you love him," he surmised in a voice that could not mask his inner disquiet.

While Blair tried to wrap her confounded brain around everything he had told her, why he left her, her own confession that she would never have come with him if it meant her life and that he still love her, in fact, had never stopped, it completely came to a standstill at the mention of Chuck.

"I want you to be happy Blair," he said, "I want you move on from us, go to Yale, get married, have babies…" His voice petered off painfully.

She sighed. "Well at least three of those things are still options for me." One of his perfectly arched brows tilted upwards.

"The short version is I did not get into Yale," she informed him neutrally.

"What!" he practically shouted, his eyes demanding an explanation.

"Apparently they're looking for a new stock of freshmen and I don't entirely fit their new mold." She wisely left out the part about her psychotic breakdown in front of the dean which might have had something to do with it. A girl must have some pride after all.

Edward's dark eyes widened and he looked at her as if she'd informed him that Snookie was running for President. "Are you serious?" he asked incredulously and suddenly looking very upset, murderous even.

Blair sighed. As much as she'd love to commiserate with Edward over the many tragedies that had befallen her since he'd shattered her heart- and by love she meant loath- her emotions just weren't stable enough for his pity right now.

Suddenly he looked very concerned. As if he'd vested some important stock in her future. He ran his fingers through his perfectly disheveled hair and released a calming sigh. "Where are you going to school, then?"

"Nowhere," she informed him, detachedly and at his incredulous look she added, "I'm not the same girl I was."

"The same girl who wanted to go to college and become measurably successful?"

She smiled a bit, remembering that version of herself with nostalgia as if he'd said, "Remember the Spice Girls?"

He gave her an almost stern look and leaned into her. "Blair if you wanted Yale or any college for that matter all you have to do is march in there and demand they hand you your acceptance," he said, "And that is a fact."

"Really?" she murmured dryly at his hyperbole.

"Want to put money on it?" His dark brows arched in challenge and he became devilishly handsome and heartbreaking all at once.

To detract her thoughts from feeding his ego, she rolled her eyes and promptly informed him. "Even thought that's probably mildly true I'm telling you that I'm not going to college, Edward."

"What are you going to do, then?" he demanded.

She shrugged. "Play things by ear." A surprising smile broke across her face at the look of sheer disbelieve she received from him. "I told you I'm not that girl anymore."

He stilled and for a moment his dark eyes perused her face as if searching for the punch line. After a while she saw one of his more delicious crooked grins spread slowly across his handsome face. _Damn beautiful bloodsucker. _He rocked back on his heel and started walking again.

"It's so strange seeing you, _Blair, _without a plan." He shook his head slightly as if rejecting the mere thought that.

Meanwhile Blair was thinking she had better get the hell out of there before her haywire brain started selling her out. Too late; she was already wondering if he found himself not attracted to this new her.

Catching the tail end of her thought somewhat unawares he stiffened. His onyx eyes blazed into hers for what could have been an hour and he told her softly and earnestly, "Blair, there is no side to you I don't want."

A nervous giggle flurried from her throat and she took it as a sign of mutiny.

_WTF?_

Did it matter what he said? Could any amount of sweet talk make up for the havoc his painful worlds had wreaked through her life for that past months?

How could she when every world he had said to her had only reinforced what she knew herself. That she was cold, unlovable, generally terrible…oh the list went on.

But now he stood there trying to tell her that he had loved her all along, loved her still, and was probably on the verge of composing another song for her.

Even if she believed any of it, which, let's be honest, she _really _wanted to –her vanity, her pride, and her sanity _demanded _that this beautiful creature she'd given herself on a silver platter to have just a shred of feeling for her in return –she'd still never truly forgive him or herself for that matter.

What was wrong with her? Why did she believe him and why did she let him break her so badly? Why did she let herself fall so damn low? And why, now, just when she was making some progress with fighting her own personal demons and coming out ahead with a new love interest no less, did he have to swoop in like some hero to save her self esteem?

She sighed heavily. "So what now?"

He arched an eyebrow at her.

"What am I supposed to do with all this? You?"

"I'm leaving," he said plainly as if it were obvious.

"What?" She all but shouted in disbelief, not having any control of her verbal diarrhea. "Again? After telling me all this, you're leaving again? What about yesterday at the funeral when you told me you would stay awhile?"

He held up both his hands for a moment- not in surrender but signaling her to reign herself in, lest she give herself another panic attack. She did stop, almost immediately and her expression fell, knowing the words that could come next would likely be his goodbye.

He might have come off as cold and uncaring but at least he knew the truth and perhaps someday she would come to understand. He truly didn't believe that anyone felt the way he did about the woman in front of him. If any man had ever loved a woman the way he did then they would understand how it _destroyed _him utterly and completely to sever himself from her.

He smiled reassuringly or at least it hoped. It was probably a pained grimace.

"It's… probably for best if I leave, sooner than later," he grounded out. "If I'm here around you it'll just draw attention to you from every vampire in this city that sees me with you- New York isn't _my _territory like Forks…"

"Right," she drudged, suddenly having a headache.

"Not to mention it would complicate things…"

"Yup." Her coffee was cold, she knew but she sipped it anyway, suddenly needing something to do.

"Listen…"

"No more excuses." She put her hands up to silence him. "Do whatever you have to do Edward but I'm going home."

She turned on her heel and marched away from him, never once looking back.

**Footnote:**

**Hi. So… sorry I haven't updated in so long. I have actually been out seeing the world and undergoing some major life changes. As concisely as possible, I've been taking some time off to travel which has always been a dream of mine and seeing the beautiful sights of France, Italy, etc. Sigh…fabulous. **

**And now since I've been home I've also now begun the daunting task of job/career hunting. So its not like I've abandoned this story but my brain's been so cluttered with everything it's been impossible to get it all out. I've definitely re-written this a bunch of times and as some of you can see, the little teaser line I sent you wonderful reviewers as a preview did not make it in this one. **

**Also as you can also see these chapters are getting longer and longer. This is 3 times as long as the beginning chapters and they're only getting longer from here. I'm going to try to get myself back on task with the updates. Currently I'm working on the next two chapters and hoping to have them up before the end of June. **

**Thanks soo much readers for sticking with this. All you Blair and Edward fans out there rejoice! This story WILL be finished! **


	17. A History of Violence

**AN: Alright, I think we've all been thoroughly acquainted with winy bitch Edward. Well now let me introduce you to the other half of Edward Cullen: complete psycho, badass, bloodsucker. **

**Warning: This chapter contains crude language, violence, and baddass Edward. **

**Mood Music: Monster – Kanye**

**Want a hand in St. Constance' Prom? Please read the footnote below before reviewing. **

Marc was sitting a bar in Rio. What he remembered were women, the shore, and drinking at particularly seedy bar in the city. He remembered being sloshed enough to lose his passport. It must have slipped out of his back pocket because a curvy local with a dark skin and inviting green eyes had slipped it to him at the bar, telling him she'd seen it on the floor. It was his last clear human memory for a long time. He was schmoozing with some people he barely remembered except for the soft details like the timber of their voices or the throatiness of their laughter when he stepped outside for a smoke.

One minute he was fidgeting in his pocket for a light and the next he was getting the shit kicked out of him. He had doubled over to his knees and tried to shield his face and that was the last time he remembered feeling fear.

The next time he opened his eyes he was another creature entirely. He knew his name was Marc, he knew he had been suffering through some sort of torture for at least a few days, and he knew he was nowhere near home.

He woke up on a stranger's bed wearing nothing but a shredded shirt and pair of trousers. It was an old bungalow by his guess and none of the light switches worked. He bellowed out but there no reply and when he stepped outside into the pale moonlight, his bare feet hit the soppy grass and he realized then that there was something different about him. He stared down at his ashen feet against the dark earth and he had seen enough movies to know that something wasn't quite right.

Marc remembered standing outside for hours just taking in the trees, the smells of dirt and shit and the sounds of the stirring animals around him. The little shack looked abandoned with no sign of the city as far as Marc could see which was surprisingly quite far. His eyes were keener; his vision was sharp enough to register the intricate detail of every leaf the moon cast its glow over in the distance. He stood, entranced by this as the time passed, never moving and never taking a breath.

In the distance he had heard low rumble of a dirt bike approaching him and he had waited for his bodies natural survival instincts to kick in. Run, scream, get help, and hail for attention- nothing. He felt disturbingly still and calm as the bike approached. The rider's leather silhouette and long red hair intrigued him and he watched, placidly still as she pulled into the makeshift driveway of the bungalow and gracefully jumped off her bike, smiling and swaying her hips towards him as if she knew him.

~x~

April

"For the last time, Nelly Yuki, I absolutely refuse to have a Harry Potter themed prom," Blair shouted exasperatedly at her companions. "It's infantile and common and not to mention Regis High did that theme last year!"

Nelly deflated and the rest of the prom committee went back the pretending to scribble down new ideas while Blair, in rejuvenated tyrant form, massacred all their ideas.

"Now think guys. I have to turn this in by Friday for approval."

It the busy courtyard shared by St Jude and Constance Billiards, Blair and her Prom Committee sat at their table brutally hashing out their different prom ideas.

"Well I personally liked Serena's, 'Literary Romance' idea," said Hazel before ducking away from Blair's glare. Serena smiled sheepishly and Blair suppressed a low growl.

"_Serena_ is not apart of student government is she?" She gave Serena a blunt glare, reminding her that she was wearing out her welcome to the table. "Plus, isn't it time to give up on fairy tales?" Blair grounded out, quite bitterly.

"No, not on prom night it isn't," Serena interjected. "Prom night is one of the last nights that a girl can and _should_ have her prince, her ball gown, and her fairytale romance."

"Why?" Blair shot back abruptly. "Why pervade the young women of Constance into believing they can carry their adolescent fantasies of prince charming into adulthood when we all know in the real world fairy tale romances just don't work out?"

Everyone was staring at her when she had the succinct realization that she'd just had another bitter emotional outburst.

Serena opened her mouth to comment but Blair quickly said, "Fine. I'll tell headmistress that our theme is literary romances. Meeting adjourned," before gathering her things and fluttering away from the table.

She didn't get far; Serena caught up to her almost instantly and grabbed her roughly by the arm. Her reflexes kicked in and she spun around, fist drawn, and ready to deck her best friend in the face.

"Whoa Blair!" Serena let go of her at once and jerked back to avoid her fist.

"Sorry." Blair muttered ruefully and she prayed her friend wouldn't question her on her feral reaction. She'd been attacked by vampires so many times she was probably starting to act like one.

"What the hell was that outburst back there about? I know for damn sure you're not that passionate about prom," Serena demanded.

Blair threw her hands up in irritation. "Oh my god Serena. Do you think there's one pocket of my life not completed invaded by you."

Serena crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Oh please Blair. You're a bad actress. This isn't about me crashing your prom meeting. This is about Edward Cullen," she expounded looking proud of herself.

Blair frowned and narrowed her eyes at her friend.

"Ever since he showed up here mysteriously and left you've been having these super cynical outbursts." Serena added. "Why are you so upset? Why are suddenly throwing yourself in a relationship with my stepbrother when you clearly think that love is a complete joke."

"Because you were right," she half shouted, throwing up the white flag. "He does love me," she confessed "And he lied to me and you were right."

Now it was Serena's turn to look annoyed. "Obviously I was right seeing as he showed up in New York last weekend to speak to you. Why did he leave?"

Blair shrugged. "It's complicated but I'm done talking about him. He's gone now and I'm moving on."

"Blair you're obviously still in love with him. I'm not sure whatever the hell went on between you two but you and my stepbrother is not 'moving on'".

Blair raised her brow challengingly. "Don't you dare," she seethed. "You have no clue what Edward has put me through."

"You say you love Chuck but you're in some undefined relationship. You're not putting yourself in any position to get hurt and meanwhile you're still completely in love with your ex."

"It's called being an adult Serena. Have you ever tried it?" Blair bit out. "Edward is like a walking fairytale with a lot of fine print. I love him but I have to love the things that are good for me," she signed, visibly deflating.

Serena's expression softened. "And Chuck is good for you?"

Blair nodded. "And I'm good for Chuck."

Serena hummed thoughtfully. "I can't really argue with you there," she said. "I see the way he is with you. He's better with you but Blair I just can't help thinking that you deserve someone who makes you better too."

The bell rang ending their lunch hour and a thought tapped at Blair's mind.

_I was a better person with Edward. Edward brought a better side of me out._

XoXo

Friday night Blair arrived at the ballet house ball draped on Chuck Bass' arm like his latest accessory. They'd spent the evening making all the right acquaintances and having all the right conversations. Never once did Chuck do anything sinister enough to elicit an uproar and Blair didn't flirt _overtly _with the handsome blonde who had spent the better part of the night giving her leering looks and had slipped his name and number into her gloved hands when he brushed past her.

How did Serena put up with constantly being propositioned by guys because of her reputation?

"Are you going to call that guy," a rich voice grazed against her neck from behind and she spun around with a start.

"I hardly thought you noticed, you were schmoozing with your business associates." Blair smiled at him coquettishly.

He handed her one of two glasses he was carting and his lips drew into one his more rakish grins. "I think you know how good I am at multitasking."

His words drew decadent shiver from her. "Maybe I need reminding," she cooed eagerly, too eager for Chuck's taste.

No sooner than the words left her lips, his grin morphed into a look of passive boredom with a tinge of disappointed.

She blew out a frustrated breath.

How long were they going to play these stupid mind games with each other?

As much as she told herself that she was the one imposing this emotional distance between them to protect her own heart it was becoming increasingly clear that Chuck only wanted her when he couldn't have her.

Trying her hardest not to let her disappointment show she took a sip of her champagne and hummed. "Or maybe I _will _go see what that sexy stranger wants."

His eyebrow piqued in dark amusement. Before he thought she was falling for another one of his games she added, "Or you know what Chuck? Since you like a chase so much, maybe I'll just sweeten the deal and leave."

Chuck frowned and she smiled evilly. "Come chase me lover," she crooned mockingly as she shucked Chuck's clasp off her then stormed away.

"Shit." Chuck swore under his breath and downed his drink.

What the hell did he do now?

Blair grabbed her coat and quitted the ballet entirely, a little stung that Chuck didn't follow her. Her heels clicked against the stone floor as she ambled aimlessly away from the building into the night, not sure if she was going to call a cab or not. She wasn't used to not being chased after her tantrums and she didn't entirely know what to do.

Serena's words had plagued her all week and they burned now when she thought of how simple and clean things had been with Edward when they were in their heyday.

Edward got her. There was no pretending or need for games with him. He knew her faults, her deepest darkest thoughts as well as her blaring character flaws and he accepted her.

They didn't need jealous role-playing games to keep things interesting. It would have been redundant seeing as they had constantly been in a state of intensity. She brought him out of his darkness and he brought her out of her cold shell. They made each other better.

Blair knew if Chuck didn't work out she would likely end up with someone just like him. After all it was the standard for an Upper East Side girl. She thought of her future; the life of a bored socialite, married well off, pretty dresses, lavish charities and soirées, throw in a divorce or two, and a therapist and she was suddenly her mother.

Parked on the curb, a tall, lithe stranger dismounted from his motorcycle and tugged his face helmet off. Blair involuntarily approached the form of a man, so tall and graceful in his movements she felt her stomach flutter with sudden anticipation. Her black gown swelled in the wind around her heels as she quickly closed the distance between the familiar stranger now standing in front of his bike, watching her approach keenly.

He whipped up that familiar wicked grin and Blair felt disappointed and elated at once.

"Marc!"

"Blair!" He beamed widely and opened his hands in a welcoming gesture.

"What are you doing here, Marc?" Her voice wavered hesitantly as she stopped in front of him. He tilted his head to one side and examine her but didn't answer her question.

"Did you follow me?"

He huffed out a small chuckle. "Nope."

He kept his easy grin. "I was just passing by on my bike when this deliciously familiar scent wafted towards me. Naturally I had to pull over and check it out."

"Oh," she said and suddenly realized the gravity of his words. "_Oh._" She automatically slinked backward.

His eyes were dark and held mischief but they were friendly and he chuckled and shook his head. "Relax, Ninotchka, I can control myself."

Her eyes widened with realization. "Oh!" This was _her _Marc, the silly stranger that had brought her out of herself all those months ago, not the monster that had accosted her in the park.

She smiled at him, feeling relieved.

"What's this Ninotchka?" His gaze flickered over her sleek up-do to her black, one shoulder ball gown. "I know I died and everything but this isn't the fun loving girl I remember."

She stared up at him with a dazed smile, completely enthralled by the intriguing man who had resurfaced through the brute monster.

Since he kept looking at her expectantly like some errand child she piped up with, "I've gone back to the U.S.S.R."

"Damn shame," he mumbled and then grazed his palm over his stubble thoughtfully.

"Alright we can fix this," he told her, appraising her suddenly. He made an inviting gesture towards his bike. "Hop on. I've seen this done in the movies a thousand times."

She breathed out a nervous chuckle. "What are we doing exactly and since when do you ride a motorcycle?"

"Blair, I'm a vampire. What fuck else am I going to drive, a PT Cruiser?"

At that Blair burst out laughing like a complete loon.

"And secondly, Ninotchka, I'm freeing you back from those frigid Commies." He mounted his bike as he said this. "Now get on, Blair. We're about to ride off into the night and it's going to be completely baddass."

Even though she was laughing and shaking her head, she hedged over to him reluctantly and hiked her dress up around its slits.

Chuck Bass scrambled out of the Ballet house in search of his date. He was sure Blair was just having another theatrical fit and he had given her the appropriate time to cool off before going after her, lest he actually deal with her drama. What he did not expect was to find his date mounting to back of the motorcycle of a complete stranger and zooming off into the night, her dress and dark locks billowing in the air behind her.

"Shit."

XoXo

Her roguish dark curls bathed over her face as Marc's bike eased beside a curb of a familiar apartment building. She was still on a high, feeling the rush of speeding through the city in a ball gown with a sexy fiend.

She smiled at him dopily on the elevator ride, tilting her head and wishing for once she could read minds.

"You know I'm not going to sleep with you, right?"

The elevator chimed at his floor and he put on a casual mask. He shrugged, tugged her out with him by her waist. "I'm really not sure how that would work anyway."

"I would die," she told him seriously. "That's how it would work."

His eyes flashed, making him appear faintly evil for a split second and it was gone, leaving a sardonic smirk. Regret and fear threatened to sober her fast.

"We can't have that, can we?" His eyes danced with mirth and challenge.

"No," she watched his eyes firmly as she spoke. "We can't."

"Alright." He held both hands in the air in surrender. He let one down to open his door and let her pear into his lit up apartment. "A completely harmless, sex-free evening with your friendly neighborhood vampire."

He swept his hand towards his apartment.

_.Shit. _Blair brain was wondering what she was getting herself into. For the umpteenth time in her young life she felt like she was getting in over her head and this time there was no Edward illusion to ward her off. In fact, she hadn't seen him since they'd actually spoken in person.

She breathed out a low sigh of defeat and crossed the threshold. There was no point in turning back now.

He sauntered in after her and shut the door and she noticed he didn't lock it. The small gesture placated her nerves immensely and she relaxed enough to look around.

She'd been there before but had never really taken the place in. Leather couch, slim windows, posters for bands, movies and 'artsy' pictures of women decorated the small midtown apartment. She paused and examined the poster above his flat screen.

"'Peeping Tom' is that a Hitchcock film?" Blair asked conversationally.

"Nope." He was suddenly so close to her it made her jump out of her skin. "That my friend is probably there for irony," he said, ignoring her sudden anxiety.

She gave him a queer look. "Probably? As in you're not sure."

He shrugged and backed away from her, sauntering towards the kitchen.

"Half the time I'm just a squatter in my own life," he said, rather poetically. "Which unfortunately means I don't get my own inside jokes sometimes." He smirked briefly and blew out a quick laugh.

Blair frowned. "So how did it happen to you anyway?"

He hummed from the kitchen and changed the subject.

"A friend of mine got this for me. I'm assuming it was my birthday, but I've been hoping to break this open." He held up a bottle of red wine, opened it and poured her a glass.

"You have no idea how frustrating it is to have good wine around you and be unable to drink it."

She hummed distantly and made herself comfortable on his couch. "So I'm told."

He chuckled good-naturedly and rounded the couch, depositing the wine in her hand and taking a seat across from her.

"How is it?"

She took a small sip. "Good."

He smiled. "It's Argentinean."

"So how did it happen?"

He sighed in vexation. "Drink some wine, relax. I'll get to that, Blair."

Blair grinned triumphantly and took another sip.

"But first, you tell me how you know so much about vampires."

"Oh I watch TV," she said and immediately took a guilty sip of her wine. "This is good, what kind of wine is this again?"

"You're deflecting Blair." He rolled his eyes and leaned forward, placing his elbows to his knees and leveling his dark eyes at her. "Lets do it like this, you tell me something, and I tell you something. Ok gorgeous?"

She nodded after awhile but only because she was really curious about Marc. He had rescued her from a night of being forced to hash things out with Chuck and whisked her away like some rock star and he hadn't threatened her yet. And yet everything about him was a complete mystery to her. Who knows, maybe Marc could be her next token vampire friend.

"Good, your turn to answer. And if you forfeit you have to remove an article of clothing. House rules, sorry." He grinned boyishly and Blair just rolled her eyes.

"I guess you can say I used to roll with vampires." She told him hesitantly, not sure why she felt like she was betraying the Cullen's secrecy. "But not anymore. I do have a fair share of vampire knowledge, I guess."

While taking this in, Marc smoothly topped off her glass of wine before Blair could register his movement.

Blair's turn. "What color are your eyes when they're not dark?"

"Red." He stared at her unwaveringly.

Blair shifted in her seat and blew out a heavy breath.

She was basically having wine with a murderer.

"My turn," he said, "I haven't run into any vampires with brown eyes in this city. I'm guessing they're not around here anymore."

Blair sighed. Something about knowing he was actively killing people stole all his charm and it was quite sobering. "They're pretty unique in their diet and no they're not."

She was outright gulping the wine which called for another re-fill. "How long have you been a vampire?"

"Almost three months." He grinned. "Not bad for a newborn, huh?"

She really didn't have a response for that. All she knew about newborns is that they were stronger and generally more dangerous. Marc wasn't exuding any danger now so she supposed he was right. He did seem to have it all together.

"My turn," he said. "That day at the park, how did you get me to stop? I was definitely not myself then," he told her with a rueful glint in his eyes.

She cocked her head at him, not understanding. "You were going to kill me?" He nodded.

Oh. She just shrugged dejectedly. "I don't have some secret power over vampires, if that's what you're asking," she told him with a sigh. "That was all you, Marc."

"Sure about that?" He gave a teasing little smirk and she chuckled ruefully, thinking how differently her year would have gone if that were so.

"Definitely."

"Good." He clapped his hands together loudly and poured her some more wine, in high spirits suddenly.

"I meant to thank you," he said and it was clear his mood had taken an upward turn. "The photography thing was good head start on getting my shit together."

Blair giggled, catching his infectios good mood and feeling a sense of security all of a sudden. The wine definitely had some hand in that.

"Well you're welcome. I'm glad I helped you 'get your shit together'." She finished that sentence with a flourishing sip of her wine. "Ooh can I see some of your pictures?" She asked, bouncing up and down on the couch like a particularly annoying little sprite.

His wide grin took a sinister edge and for a moment he just stared at her sort of leeringly and didn't say anything. When he did he completely changed the subject.

"So you want to know how I was turned, right."

_Huh?_ Blair stared at him dumbly, wondering where his good mood had gone. She thought they'd finally stumbled out of heady territory to something light and fun and now he was clearly upset and steering the conversation away for no apparent reason. Talking to vampires was both emotionally and mentally draining.

"Um. I guess…"

"Good," he said abruptly. "Because I think you'll really like this one."

"Um… ok…" Even in her drunkenness she began to feel a bit nervous for her safety. Marc seemed charmingly enigmatic at best and combustible at worst. "Sure… but afterwards can you take me home? I think the wine's making me a little sleepy."

"Sure," he said casually but it didn't give Blair any confidence that he would actually heed her request.

"Alright," he clapped his hands together loudly and she flinched. "Story time… Let's see, it starts in Rio."

"Brazil?" Blair.

"Oh yeah." Marc nodded. "Throw in the beach, a few models, some drinking and a photographer. Are you visualizing this, Blair?"

"Sure…"

"I'm having a fabulous fucking time Blair." He looked at her seriously. "Really enjoying my life."

"And then suddenly I'm waking up in the Amazon, all roughed up like Frankenstein's monster."

"There's a woman there and she's insane, I mean completely fucking insane and she's telling me I'm a vampire and giving me a long list of shit I've got to do for her."

"Naturally I told her to go to hell. If I'm a vampire, then clearly I have better things to do with my time than help some crazy bitch with her vendetta."

Blair threw her hand up and he paused. "Are you telling me someone changed you so that you could be her henchman?"

He cocked his head to the side, thoughtfully. "I like the way you think, Waldorf. I never though of it that way but yeah."

Blair started breathing hard. She was upset for him. How dare someone take away someone's life just because they needed a lackey?

"That's terrible. Oh my god, Marc, I'm so sorry."

Marc smiled malevolently. "Ah well you should be, I guess. _You're _her target."

"W-what?" Blair sputtered in confusion. Her drunken brain was still ten paces behind the conversation.

"Yeah this crazy ginger Victoria really wants you dead. You killed her boyfriend or something like that and now I'm supposed to kill you, or at least that's what she hinted at. She's really paranoid, I mean, complete psycho. She claims 'not even her thoughts are safe'. She was practically speaking to me in code the entire time. I had to beg her to spit it out just to save me the annoyance of hearing her circle the point. You should have heard her. 'Make her pay. Get close to her, real close, like blood running down your throat close'. Please, like I have time for that shit. I did give it a half-assed effort and that's how Central Park happened."

_Oh my effing God! _

"What's wrong, Blair. Too much to swallow?"

Her breaths were coming in shallowly and he made no movement to help her, just watched her with emotionless dark eyes. She needed to get out of there and she had the faint idea that leaving wasn't an option.

"I need a human moment," she begged, suddenly eager to get as far away from Marc as the apartment allowed.

His grin mocked her. "Sure. Down the hall, first door on your left."

Her movements were surprisingly calm despite her inner turmoil. She rose, set her glass on the coffee table and swayed towards the bathroom, regretting instantly that she had left her purse on the couch.

She needed to breathe and think. She needed to talk to Edward and she needed to get the hell out of that apartment.

She took a calming breath as she stepped into the room and felt for the light switch.

All she needed to do was calmly thank Marc for telling her about Victoria, make up an excuse to get out of there and tell him she'd call a cab. Maybe if she said she felt sick and couldn't ride on his motorcycle or…

"Oh my God!"

It was clear to Blair the moment the lights flickered on that she had just stepped into a massive nightmare.

Certainly not a bathroom and the size of a closet, every surface of the room was covered with highly disturbing pictures. Photo after photo of women bound and naked, their faces frozen with silent dread, hung from the walls of the darkroom. But what's worse were the ones in black and white where she could clearly see dark liquid staining their skin. She covered her mouth and nose with her palm when she saw another of a girl with wide eyes, severely mutilated and frozen in a bloody death.

_This is a nightmare. This isn't happening. Get out of this apartment!_

She spun around to leave her eyes immediately landed on the stack of photos lying on the table by the door. The first picture caused her to stifle a garbled moan.

It was a picture of Colin Forester… or what was left of him after he was… severely marred. Her fingers splayed the photos like a deck of cards on the table. There was a picture of her and Colin in his apartment _en flagrante delicto. _Another picture taken in her own bedroom. She completely naked, in the process of putting on a white lace bra. Her stomach riled up at the invasion of her privacy. How the hell did she not know he was watching her…?

She gasped at the last set. Chuck's limo parked outside of a seedy club. Godfrey opening the limo door and a dark mass of hair dipping into it. Bart Bass' eyes widened with terror, the flash reflecting red in his eyes in the confines of Chuck's limo.

_Jesus effing Christ! _She groaned and dashed the pictures away from her, suddenly quite sick to her stomach. There was no time to stand there gaping at the revolting pictures. She needed to get out of there.

She flicked off the light and pushed the door open, ready to run and scream like hell when a tall figure blocked her.

"Oh I'm sorry, were you asking for the bathroom?" Marc ginned evilly as he cowed her down with his size. "Silly me, I meant the _second _door on your left."

"Is this a vampire thing or were you always this seriously fucked up?" she rasped, glaring up at him with both fear and disgust.

His leaned down to her neck and Blair's body went rigid with dread. She stood in the doorway completely paralyzed as his stubble grazed her cheek and his gruff voice beat against her neck. "Always."

Blair sighed in utter defeat and weakly asked, "Do I attract maniacs?"

He reared his head back and laughed.

"What do you want with me?"

"What a fucking cliché thing to say, Blair," he goaded. "I want to fuck you and tie you up. I want cut your soft skin into little pieces and take masterful photographs of it. I want to bite you and suck your blood down my throat."

"Because Victoria asked you to," she clarified.

"What? No! I haven't seen that bitch since Brazil," He shouted. "I was going to leave you alone gorgeous but then you reminded me of myself."

"Oh great, this is my fault," she groused. Her mind was reeling. _How do these people find me? _What was it about her that called to every psycho in the area?

"That's why I had to follow you that night." He kept prattling on about his master plan like all psycho killers do. She'd already heard this spiel with James. Did she really need to sit through this again?

"I had to tell you that I remembered you but then I saw you on the balcony of the party leaving with him and I couldn't fucking have that."

"So you killed Colin because you were jealous yada yada ya." She cut him off. "Listen Marc, if you're going to kill me, just do it quickly okay. No torture porn and none of that Hostel shit. If psychos like you are going to keep popping up every year of my life I'd rather just end it now and save myself the annoyance of hearing all these damn evil mastermind speeches."

"I love it!" Marc laughed even harder. "You just don't give a shit do you?"

Blair let out a passive sigh. "Whatever. Just tell me why you killed Bart Bass. Believe me; I have NEVER had sex with him."

"If you'd let me finish telling you Blair I'd get to that," he bit out in annoyance.

"I killed Colin out of memory, the way I've killed before," he told her. "The vampire in me could never have accomplished it. Slicing him into pieces with all that blood, taking those amazing pictures. I didn't know where it came from. It was just ingrained from memory. That's the me you made me remember, Blair."

She bowed her head forward, unable to look at the mockery of beauty and charm before her.

"I'm good at figuring people out," he told her. "And I watched you for awhile."

"And you have me all figured out," she told his floor boards.

He hummed in agreement. "I knew exactly where to hit you to make it hurt."

"Bartholomew Bass. Gee, you really did your research."

"No!" He shouted irritably. "Charles Bass." He seethed and her eyes shot up to his. "You didn't think I was watching you that closely, huh?" He grinned proudly.

"But I guess that fucker has some kind of guardian angel or something," He added with frustration. "I had a perfect death planned out for him but I didn't bargain for his father fucking pulling a switcheroo with his limo."

Her eyes widened with realization. "That was Chuck's limo, Bart was driving…"

"Anyway I wasn't going to waste time and good film killing this nobody so I just drank him." He shrugged.

"But you didn't finish." Her eyes narrowed at him.

"I wasn't trying to turn him," he shot back defensively. "His driver stopped the car and I ran out of time. I planned to go back and finish the job."

"But someone else finished it for you."

"Now how would you know that?" He demanded.

She winced. "My head hurts, can we get on with this?" She pleaded.

He grabbed her abruptly by the waist and hoisted her off her feet, pressing her back against the wall. His other hands clamped over her mouth before she could scream and it was clear by the wicked gleam in his eyes he had no plans to acquiesce to her demands for a speedy death.

"Don't just lie there limply Blair, fight me" he cooed in her ear.

Suddenly a there was a loud noise from the living room. Simultaneously, Marc shoved her backwards and took a defensive stance in front of her, crouching slightly. Blair's eyes struggled to readjust and she woozily wondered why Marc was suddenly guarding her and then she saw who it was and almost swooned.

Edward Ohthankgod Cullen stood up from his crouch and narrowed his dark eyes at Marc, never looking at Blair.

"Who the fuck are you?" Marc demanded, angling his crouch to shield Blair from her ex.

At this Edward smiled chillingly, his mind already calculating every aspect of his kill.

Blair took in his eerie features, thinking she'd never seen him look so lethal before, not even towards James. There was no trace of the boy who'd composed a song for her or had once ran several miles to the nearest Starbuck's just to get her a venti Caramel Macchiato just because she had PMS. He was harshly beautiful and deadly and it looked like he was out for blood.

Edward slowly approached and Blair was felt a wave of gratitude and dread, thinking she would probably end up with another neck brace and blood transfusion after this but at least she'd be alive.

The newborn in Marc was hasty for a confrontation and he launched at him from across the room. After that it wasn't so much of a fight as a brutal massacre that Blair had no choice but to watch as she remained silently frozen against the wall.

Edward was fast enough to evade all his attempts, which were futile really considering he could read minds. If Marc had any sense he would have used Blair as leverage.

With not so much of a grunt, Edward tripped the newborn on his back, pounced on top of him and hammered his fists into his face. A roar of fury sounded through him. Marc was stronger than Edward and eventually threw him off. Edward landed in a crouch across the room and wasted no time springing towards him again. Faster than Blair's eyes could register he had Marc in a vice grip at the neck. Marc's back was to him and so Blair could see the sudden fear and confusion on his face.

"Don't. Watch. This." Edward instructed darkly and the next thing Blair knew she was unable to close her eyes as Edward sank his teeth into Marc's neck and Marc cried out in pain. Marc's eyes leveled at Blair almost entreatingly and she was forced to watch as Edward reared his mouth away from his neck and ripped his head off like he was tearing off a piece off paper, and tossed it aside, dropping Marc's dismembered body limply to the floor and casually stepping over it.

Blair's body sagged. Her back started sliding downwards against the wall as her knees gave out. He caught her effortlessly by the waist and hoisted her up.

"You alright?" He asked, and Blair felt the effects of being around Edward when he was making no attempt to put on a harmless mask. Her body tensed up with fear and anxiety to get away from him.

"After that? No!" she stammered. "You know how much therapy I'm going to need after seeing that?"

"I told you not to watch," he said lightly. He held her against the wall with one hand and flicked the light switch inside the darkroom behind her with the other. In a split second the lights were off and he shut the door, his expression not giving anything away.

"Did it ever occur to you that if you tell someone not to do something in a situation like that they immediately do the opposite?" She asked, her voice traumatized.

"No, I was busy saving you from becoming another picture in that room Blair," he told her in an even voice and that shut her up. He looked down at her wild curls and black dress.

"You're drunk," he observed in a neutral voice which meant he was angry with her. Whenever his voice lost emotion it meant she did something to piss him off. "Did he kidnap you?"

"No," she answered wearily and let her head fall back against the wall.

"Why the hell are you sipping wine with a newborn vampire, Blair?" He asked in a carefully measured voice.

"He seemed nice at the time…" Blair breathed out in complete defeat and exhaustion.

"How many times do I have to tell you, you can't fucking trust vampires!" He shook her hard against the wall and she flinched.

"I'm sorry okay!" She shouted back. "I'm obviously too stupid to learn to stay away from danger!"

Edward sighed. "I'm sorry for being rough with you Blair it's just, you have no idea what he planned on doing to you."

"Of course I do. He told me," she shouted at him hysterically. "Because all you vampires do is talk and talk and talk…"

His lips cut her off with a rough kiss. Automatically her hands wrapped around his neck for support as he hoisted her in the air a pushed against her center demandingly. She moaned into his mouth and hooked her legs around his waist, grinding against him wantonly. All her endorphins were pushing Blair to go, go, go and they attacked each other with gusto, completely mindless of the body that Edward had just severed with his teeth five minutes ago, laying on the floor like mutilated ken doll.

All Blair wanted to do was to get Edward to a bed as quickly as possible and fortunately Blair knew exactly where the bed was around there.

Edward's lips detached from hers and she whined, pouting her lips and claiming his again in a greedy kiss.

She'd almost died tonight. He wasn't going to deny her this.

But this time he didn't respond. He shoved her back roughly and looked at her; she could see his mind was calculating something.

"Did he touch you," Blair, he demanded darkly against her lips and she shook her head emphatically.

No. No. No. More kissed please.

"Did he _ever _touch you?"

_Ah hell!_

**Footnote: Hi everyone. Thanks so much for all the positive wishes for my future. Sorry I didn't get to respond to all the reviews, I was busy editing this mammoth. But yeah, a few of you were wondering where I went. I went to Paris, London and a few places in Italy including Rome. It was an AMAZING trip and I cannot wait to go back!**

**Now there is so much going down in this chapter! Food for reviewer thought:**

**1. Marc! Did that catch you by surprise or did a few of you call it? What about the fact that he obviously had a history of violence before he was turned. Did anyone catch that Peeping Tom references? **

**2. Victoria! Nouf said. Why do you think she was so paranoid? Was turning Marc a masterful plan or foolish? One thing for sure, Marc is the worst henchman ever!**

**3. Chuck. Did anyone catch that season 3 reference with the jealousy games? Team Chuck anyone?**

**4. Team Edward unite! How did we like his taking care of business and general lack of EMO-tion here? Say what you will about Blair and Edward but those two have chemistry. **

**5. Prom Theme: Famous Literary Couples. What would you go as? What literary couple best represents, Serena and Dan, Blair and Chuck, Blair and Edward? You might find that worked into the story. **

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**Thanks for reviewing. **


	18. Paramour

**AN: Hi everyone. *Ducks behind crappy laptop* Sorry for the delay. I've had a VERY busy summer. I actually had a death in the family, and I've been traveling a bit. But all is well now, and I'm glad I'm home ready to pick back up with these two. **

**Also: I've got to pimp out my new BLOG to you guys: "Glorious Nonsense". Link's on my profile page. Oh and follow it if you can. That would be a HUGE ego boast. It isn't fan fiction related, though I often write about vampires. Plus, once I get the blog rolling, I'll be giving out freebies! Yay freebies! Right now, I've got a pretty cool Modcloth freebie and I'm waiting to get everybody on board over there to give it away! So let's FOLLOW THAT BLOG. **

**Warning: Sexual Situations…Finally!**

**Music: **

**Fire to the Rain - Adele**

**Caffeinated Consciousness – TV on the Radio**

**Review = Preview!**

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He dropped her on her feat like a diffused bomb and took a step away, no longer impaling her against the wall with his erection.

She never answered his question but, of course, she didn't have to. Resident mind-reading douche-bag extraordinaire had already drawn his own conclusions and decided he was done sexually molesting her.

When she finally did open her mouth to talk he cut her off before she even got started.

"Get out," he told her, brusquely. "Look at the door and nothing else—and go home. I have a mess to clean up here."

Blair peaked around his shoulder and spotted the door hanging slightly ajar and willed herself not to glance at the body in the living room.

"Edward," she implored in a tight, airy voice, "As much as I would like to go home and forget this nightmare, I am not stepping foot outside without a bodyguard, a priest, and an automatic wood splinter gun."

"You want to watch me tear a body up into pieces and set an apartment on fire?" His voice was equally tight with annoyance.

"Edward, we have bigger problems than the kinky shit you're into—Victoria problems."

"As it turns out," he informed her in a neutral voice as if this was no problem to him at all. "Victoria is not even on this continent, and my bite does more damage than wooden bullets—and I'm protestant by the way."

She shook her head in disbelief and blew out an exasperated breath. "Edward, you freakin' idiot, this isn't about your jealousy issues—"

"I'm not—"

"Stop it! You can be possessive jerk to me some other time. _Victoria is trying to kill me!_"

"I am aware." He said. "We need to talk, I'm aware of that as well. But like I said, Victoria is no imminent threat to you and, at the moment, I have some tracks to cover. Go home, wash the smell of this creature off of you, and we can talk about Victoria tomorrow."

She pressed her fingers to her temple. _Think pleasant thoughts. Tiffany's…Breakfast at…oh fuck! _

She took a calming breath and tried another angle. "Edward," she pleaded in a small vulnerable voice. "I'm scared."

_Ah Christ… _That did him in.

Edward let out a laden breath and said "Come on." She let him tug her off the wall somewhat reluctantly and her eyes found his, searchingly, "I'll take you home with me."

"But what about _this?_" Blair panned her palm in front of her.

He shrugged. "I'll just have to deal with it tomorrow. Come on, close your eyes Blair," he commanded and this time she listened to him.

With a sigh, she let him lead her out of the apartment. The minute she heard the apartment door shut behind her, his hands sagged away from her with some hesitation.

When they went outside she was surprised to find out how close "home" was to Marc's apartment. They literally walked for five minutes before Edward stopped in front of a white pre-war dated building.

'Wow…" she began in a conversational voice. "When you said, "short walk" you weren't kidding."

Edward gave a forced smile and opened the door for her.

On the elevator he broke his stretch of silence. "I'm sorry I was rough with you earlier."

She tilted her head to the side and considered her response to this. She decided on, "I'm sorry for being such dumbass…I don't _how_ I walk into these things…."

Edward lips formed a tight smile and he hummed. He shook his head and sighed, "Oh Blair, oh Blair, oh Blair, what am I going to do with you."

She was audacious enough to answer with a grin. The elevator doors chimed open and he snaked his arm around her waist. "Come on."

He led her out to his apartment and broke apart from her, leaving her to take in the place. Hey eyes immediately went to the baby grant piano adorning the center of the spacious great room. Older than Edward, the renovated apartment was richly furnished with eclectic pieces from all over the world. Rugs from Iran, throws from Bombay, wood from Africa, and light fixtures from Venice. Through the oval windows there were many identical windows against crowning white facades.

"Esme decorated this place," His distant voice startled her a bit. "Esme and Carlisle sometimes come here on the weekend."

She spun around to face him and caught his eyes roaming over her. She pursed her lips together and appraised him and wondered if she had any pride left when it came to him. "You saved my life…again…"

He simply shrugged. "How did you know I'd be in danger?"

His pitch black eyes landed on hers. "I didn't." When Blair only stared at him incredulously he sighed and gestured for the couch. "Have a seat and I'll try to give you the abridged version."

"Oh thank God, I've heard enough long stories for the night." Blair clamped her hands together appreciatively with no hint of sarcasm in her voice. "God, you vampires love to go on and on and on…"

Edward just cut his eyes to the ceiling in annoyance and sat down on one the couches. Blair, for some reason, chose to sit next to him, though there was plenty of other seating available, which caused the ever disagreeable Edward to let out a martyred sigh.

Was there no end to this flagrant rejection!

"Well?" Blair prompted him with a tinge of annoyance, eager to save face.

"Well… let's see." He hummed for moment. "As concisely as possible: after I left you, a few weeks back, I went to Alaska, met up with the Denali family, and it took all this time for Laurent to break down and tell me he'd been in contact with Victoria"

Blair raised her brow but said nothing.

"He told her what I can do…what Alice can do—to ward her off, I suppose…"

"Um… I'm not sure why that—"

"After I left you in Forks I'd tracked Victoria to Brazil but she evaded me. Foolishly, I left her alone, figuring she would come for me when she decided to and I would kill her… or she'd kill me. I didn't really care at that point." He shrugged.

"When Alice saw her decision to change someone, naturally she assumed she had decided to make a mate, seeing no future plans to come after me…or you."

"But she knew someone was monitoring her thoughts," Blair filled in, remembering Marc's words. "She had this whole thing planned out…without ever really planning it!"

"Don't sound so impressed," Edward muttered.

"I'm sorry but that is freaking genius." Blair informed him, pointedly. She couldn't have planned a better revenge herself.

"Anyway Blair," He cut into her thoughts with protracted annoyance, "the moment we found out, Alice and I headed here and my family went to track and kill Victoria before she proliferates."

"Alice?"

"Is currently tied up in a layover flights from Edinburgh… and yeah, Alice. Someone has to keep an eye on you until things are finished with Victoria."

"Yes but I thought _you _were my bodyguard."

Edward chuckled mirthlessly. "I don't think that would be a smart idea."

"What?" Blair pouted in irritation and, admittedly, disappointment. "So why are you here?" she demanded hotly and rather ungratefully in light of things.

He smirked and looked at her fully, the little bastard. "Aren't you glad, I'm here?" he asked, his voice the epitome of all things smug.

"Ugh, when is Alice getting here!" She shouted in annoyance and purposely looked away from him.

"By the looks of things, probably sometime around tomorrow morning," he supplied for her in an easy voice. Now that she was thoroughly provoked it seemed the vampire was content.

Blair stared at the door in glum determination to avoid looking at him, though feeling his thick presence next to her was enough to unravel her.

"Good… I wouldn't want to keep you from your harem party with the succubae slut sisters," Blair spat with bitterness.

Edward's mouth fell open with incredulity. "Blair, I'm only trying not to stand in the way of you sleeping your way through the entire male population of New York—Really Blair, Marc?"

She jerked her head so fast to him, she swore her neck would be sore in the morning.

"What did you say to me?" She glowered at him darkly. She wasn't going to take this, not from Edward—especially not from Edward.

"Honestly Blair, I don't seem to remember a sexually deviant murderer on the list you so kindly detailed to me last month of men you slept with." He goaded her in an icy voice that dripped venom. His black eyes pinned her with an oppressive glare.

Ah yes, sooner or later it all came back to who she slept with. Typical…

She wanted to fire back with something scathing, really, she did—especially considering what the afore mentioned murderer had put her through tonight. She was still shaken from it all and his words hit their mark. They hurt and they stung. Her insides were riling in bubbling rage and she felt like the sinews around her fury had finally snapped. And yet, somehow, because it was Edward saying this to her, it hurt even worse that it burned.

And so she just sat there, stunned to silence and shaken to her very core.

Realization struck and Edward's eyes widened almost fearfully. He swore. "Blair, listen to me I'm so sorr-"

His voice seemed to trigger an explosion. Blair fell promptly into a fit of violent sobs. He tried to calm her but she was beyond consoling at this point.

"Blair, listen to me," he begged. Each sob was like a bullet to his dormant heart. "_Please_."

"You broke me," she wailed, "You left me! You-you…"

"Blair," he pleaded, His hands rubbing her arms soothingly. "That was beyond disrespectful. I'm sorry…"

"Don't touch me!" She smacked his hands away and if she hadn't been so belligerently upset it would have stung. "Don't ever touch me! Go back to your blond whores in Alaska!"

"My what?" He reared back, thoroughly stunned words coming out of her mouth. He tried to hold his temper, avoid lashing out on her and calling her out of her name but he was also clutched by the desperation of the moment. Grabbing her harder and giving her a firm shake, he demanded, "Are you insane? I haven't been with anyone—especially not the Denali sisters!"

Blair pinned him with a look of disbelief. "I only love _you _woman!"

Blair pressed her eyes shut and shook her head, shunning ever word. "Just stop. Shut up!"

The room grew eerily quiet. Though he didn't let go of her, Edward struggled against a will, that wasn't his, to clamp his mouth shut. She opened her eyes in confusion and saw him eying her lips pensively.

He seemed to be struggling with something; he clenched his jaw several times and finally blew out an exasperated breath.

"Edward?"

"Blair…" he finally spoke. His voice was quieter and hesitant. "I'm sorry; I can't seem to get a hold on my temper around you."

"What are you mad about?" The socialite asked in a calmer voice.

"I'm mad at myself." He sighed. "For wanting you, for leaving you…for what I want to do right now…"

They were both mildly aware of the air that had spiked between had changed from anger to frustration. The hands rubbing sides became slightly intoxicating and she was breathing hard enough for the both of them—panting practically.

Her curious gaze darkened with distrust. "What…do you want to do?"

She watched his mouth stretch into a tight smirk but he didn't answer her. "Blair, the way you love is reckless and impertinent. You just throw yourself in it completely," he began. His fingers never stopped bracing her arms and she told herself that she was being held there against her will. She told herself a lot things that didn't make sense, like how much she hated what his presence did to her or that she couldn't love anyone that way anymore.

"When I told you I was, not only a vampire but, a mind reader, you were so afraid." His mouth tilted into a sardonic smile. "Then you surprised me. You gave up your safety and your privacy because I intrigued you; I never understand your reasoning."

She shrugged defensively. "I don't _intrigue _easily."

He returned her provoking look with one of slight amusement. "Of course, your stay in Forks was temporary. Everyone in town knew that—I honestly had no clue where we were going…I was following your lead."

He watched draw a deep breath, trying to brace himself for wherever he was going with this.

"And then I told you I loved you…which…was a bit of a surprise to me as well." His lips curled sheepishly. "You gave me quite the emotional rollercoaster ride when you didn't say it back."

Blair smiled, remembering that day. Her memory had completely glossed over that little hiccup. What she remembered was Tiffany's, rooftop kisses, and sparkly Edward. That day, even still, remained filed under the catalogue: Best Day of Her Life.

"And then you finally told me and I was elated…" He grinned sheepishly. "…for about 6 seconds."

"And then…?" Blair prompted.

"Terrified," he exhaled. Watching her face fall he hurried to say, "I had no clue what I was doing and you told me you were with me for the long haul. Suddenly I had to think of my future _with_ you, Blair, the nature of what I am no longer only affected me, they affected _you_, a human."

Blair nodded slightly but still regarded him somewhat warily.

"I didn't…don't want you become a vampire—go through anything remotely close to what I…" He sighed, frustrated with himself. "And yet I didn't have the slightest clue how to carry on a relationship with a human—I still don't."

"But I still love you," he breathed out like a confession to God. "And the idea of another man laying a finger on you still unmans me more than it should."

His confession that he loved her pleased her more than she cared to admit, though it had been no secret since he told her so a few weeks back. Yet, there she was, feeling foolishly inclined beam unabashedly at him. He had laid himself bare for her and her emotions were still raw, though she could feel her heart's resistance. Should she tell him that she still loved him?

Apparently she just did. Not daring to look up at his face, she sighed at her feet. Even after Nate and Chuck, somehow it would always be Edward.

He drew a breath that could anchor the room. His cool palm entreated her cheek to turn to him and she saw the myriad of conflicting emotions written there. Without another word spoken, he drew her roughly forward into his lap, and took her lips like an addict in remission.

"Don't hate me Blair…" he whispered against her mouth.

She kissed him back, though she could make no promises, reveling once more in the dizzying feel of his artful tongue, the tingle of his venom, and the danger of his razor sharp teeth.

Her body was half in his lap, half strewn awkwardly on the couch but she felt delicate and perfect where she was at. Edward didn't let up, like she expected; his hands began to traverse her body, but, it felt differently from before. At Marc's he had rough and indulgent, now he was touching her entreatingly—almost as if he was asking permission.

"Edward…" She mewled against his lips.

"Hmm?" He hummed as his lips slid down to her beloved neck, causing her to practically convulse with pleasure.

"Take me to bed?"

He drew back from her abruptly and stared at her with probing eyes. His expression was both eager and hesitant.

"Edward…" She placed her hands on his shoulder and tried to convey her steadfast resolve in her eyes. "It doesn't matter what happens tomorrow, where you go, my body is mine to give and I want you to take it _now_."

His jaw slackened and it was the most adorable the virginal vampire had ever looked.

There were on _her _territory now. Feeling slightly emboldened, her lips curled into a coquettish smirk and she crawled into his lap and straddled him where his arousal was quite pressingly evident.

He panted a breath when she wiggled in his lap a bit, just enough to break his last chain of resistance. The monster and the man in him were spurring him on, thoroughly endorsing his love's newfound sexual prowess.

_Must…stop…will…hurt…damn._

Edward was about to open his mouth and try to reason his way out of amazing unattached sex with the beautiful and tempting love of his life, when she did something that rendered his senses and his speech functions inoperative.

Sensing that a victory was eminent, Blair dipped her lips to the scar on his neck and traced her tongue delicately along the teeth marks.

Every last drop of venom drained from Edward's brain his cock. With a savage growl, he lifted her off the couch and beamed them both into the master bedroom at light speed.

Blair hardly had time to register the color or the bedroom drapes because she was instantly lying on her back with Edward divesting her of her dress. He eagerly reached under her to tug her zipper down her spine and she smiled, watching to silent determination play on his face.

_Will he be as good at this as he is at everything?_

"That's quite a lot of pressure, love," he spoke and dipped to claim her lips more gently.

She reached up and touched his cheek, smiling up at him with encouragement. "Whatever you do don't stop."

"I won't." With a deep determined breath he began to undress her, slower this time with control in his actions.

When they finally joined as one, he groaned thickly against the ridges of her ear the feelings that swelled from her weren't entirely erotic. It didn't matter to Blair how his filling her completely felt amazing, or painful; with a low hum of appreciation, he began to move in and out of her, clenching and unclenching his fist in her hair. It no longer mattered if he was as skilled in the bedroom as he generally was with everything else or awkward and fumbling; what mattered was that with every thrust she felt his undying love, his faith, his and his possession of her. She knew that he loved her as sure as she knew she loved him. The warm sensation of security swelled in her chest and consumed her holistically as if she'd found sudden shelter from a natural disaster. With every thrust she felt connected to him on a deeper level than she'd ever been with anybody else. She was giving herself to him as surely as he was giving himself over to her.

As it was, he filled her completely like no other man did and it was only a hint of pain at the end of every stroke of pleasure. As vampires are wont to do, Edward had generally more finesse than a virgin had the right to, and though she admitted he was being slightly rough with her, when he gripped her waist or when he fisted her hair tightly, she knew he was demonstrating considerable restraint.

Thrusts became pounding, deep moans became broken praises of Blair's anatomy and soon Edward pulled her hair tightly into his fists and buried his face into her neck, letting out a strangled groan. She tightened her hold around his back and kissed his shoulder blade as he came violently inside of her.

"_Fuuuck_," he hissed against her neck, and little fission escaped her lips and his breath touched her highly sensitized flesh. "Forgive me," he rasped and then looked down at her, his eyes still glazed over from pleasure. "Forgive me," he said again.

Blair could not help but looking rather smug. "I suppose." She pursed her lips a little, more out of amusement than anything. What did she expect; he _was _a virgin after all.

A slow, lopsided grin split across Edward's handsome face. He thrust lightly, reminding her that he was still inside of her and still very much aroused and Blair responded with a surprised gasp.

"You suppose, love?" He growled teasingly, looking all too pleased with himself.

His hair was all mussed up and his chest was glistening with her sweat. Both passion and satisfaction placed across his face. "Cullen." She began warningly but, at a loss for a witty remark, she simply sighed out, "I love you."

He grin brightened at her confession and then his lips were on hers. Not that is was a startling revelation, but he hadn't heard those words from her lips in months and he didn't know how much he needed to hear it until now.

"Thank God," he breathed against her lips and they began to move indulgently with one another. Slower this time, he began to thrust in and out of her. Never breaking their kiss, he slipped one hand down to her clit and began languidly stroking her there as he moved inside of her.

"Oh…"

Sure enough, Edward was good at everything. Blair screamed his name several times in the night and they did not break apart until hours later. Both satiated, and tangled in the sheets, Blair fell asleep in his arms feeling lush in with protectorate embrace.

~ x ~

Sunday, Blair awoke around noon to the gentle sunlight wafting into the room through sheer white lace.

She found herself alone on a large rumpled bed and struggled several moments to place herself.

The strong scent of venom, sex, and Edward permeated the sheets as well as her body and last night came back to her instantly.

Her limbs felt heavy and sore, as she tossed the white sheet aside.

Luckily, Blair had never been one to bruise easily. Though her skin was often compared to porcelain, it was never frail, and, at the moment she had a nice tan, thanks to the Sunny weather and her Italian genes.

She stretched her naked legs out in the air and flexed her toes. They were sore at her inner thigh, and she felt as if she'd ridden the tour de France on an un cushioned bicycle. Her whole body felt tight and sore but it was no great difference from her usual stiffness after a rigorous game of Tennis.

Unlike many girls in circle, Blair was no fragile waif; she was short and small, but also curvy and toned. Her legs were muscular when she flexed them and she was the type of girl who never could pull off the tall, graceful, gazelle look she so coveted.

The only bruising was the purplish shading the size off a cell phone on the inside off her thighs and that was an injury she'd caused herself. She'd tangled her legs behind his back and held him in a vice grip, her inner thighs pressing hard against his sides. Opening her legs brought attention to her inner tenderness. She winced at the raw ache and muttered a curse. Her punanie was not a happy camper.

With a slight chuckle, she remembered when Serena and she had watched _The Sweetest Thing_ and couldn't stop saying "punanie" for a week, much to the delight of Chuck and Nathanial.

Belatedly, she noticed the bedroom opened and Edward had entered looking freshly showered and almost absurdly handsome. He was wearing a simple V neck T and black jeans that fit him oh so generously, accenting his lithe frame. He looked begrudgingly better than he had the right to be, considering Blair's bedraggled state.

He watched her briefly consider modestly covering herself with the sheets and think better at it, as he crossed the room to sit on the edge of the bed, looking like the poster-child for Prozac. The boy was positively beaming like one of those kids on the Kraft Mac and Cheese boxes.

_Geez, I think I just found the cure for Edward's broodiness. _

"So you have…" He smirked, at her thought and dipped down to claim her lips, which Blair absolutely would not allow.

Hello! Morning breath.

She offered him her cheek instead and couldn't help relishing the feel of his lips on her. He smelled like soap and incense and something else distinctly otherworldly.

"How do you feel?" he asked the same time she demanded, "Where have you been?"

"You first, love." He squeezed her thigh slightly. His eyes caught her bruises and it appeared he was trying not to freak out in front of her.

She touched his hand lightly. "I'm _fine, _Edward. I'm not some fragile little bubble."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I'm absolutely certain I'm not a bubble—now where the hell have you been worstbodyguardever?"

He sighed dramatically and shook his head. However Blair didn't let up on the glaring.

"Well, Blair, I had a rather unfortunate mess to clean up, and need for blood, and rather beautiful girl in my bed I'd rather not feed off of."

"You sure about that?" She eyes him cheekily.

He eyes flashed with mirth. "Yeah well…"

"Hmmm" She purred as she stretched her limbs, letting Edward look his fill. And look he did; his eyes roamed over her wantonly and he leaned in to kiss her neck. The feel of his smooth lips against her sensitive skin made her sigh contentedly. The sound spurred him on and soon she was fully on her back with him hovering over her, pressing urgent kisses along her collarbone and hiking his hands pleadingly up her thighs.

"Edward…" She protested brokenly. His hands and tongue slowly drugged her into submission. "I'm sore and…"

He sent a low, torturous groan through her hair wracked through her body. Heavens sake! Edward the vampire was bad enough, but she was no match for the machinations of Edward the sex fiend.

Her legs trembled as they opened a little wider.

Clearly mistaking her weakness for kindness, he wasted no time in grabbing hold of her thighs and thrusting his clothed erection towards her naked center.

"Edward," she began, but her voice petered out as he slid a kiss along her shoulder. Her legs seemed to spread themselves, the traitors. Didn't they care whether they'd be able to walk or not? Moisture pooled in between her thighs the minute her core met the outline of him.

She groaned in aggravation…or at least she meant to but it came out as a soft mewl. "Edward _please _I'm really sore."

Finally he stilled against her neck, his hands shaking at his sides as he struggled to reign in control of himself. He inhaled deeply, taking in one large swig of her blood to his senses—his erection still twitching at her clit.

"Fine…" He relinquished in a gruff tone and Blair breathed a sigh of both relief and frustration. "At least let me taste you; my venom will make it better," he pleaded against her neck, drugging her with his lips moving lower to her breast.

Who the hell would argue with that?

Now waiting for her answer, he sat up, smirked, and positioned himself between her legs.

When his lips hit her inner thigh, Blair swore her body rose 12 inches from the mattress like one of those possessed, nightgown wearing, girls in a horror movie.

Blair Waldorf was in agony. Sweet and torturous agony.

_Oh God!_ She swore the lord's name and drove her fingers into a mass of bronze hair.

That vampire. That maleficent fiend. He rasped out a soft chuckle and she felt him smirk against her inner thigh. He was French kissing the spot right above her artery and it was driving her insane. He stifled another rich chuckle and trailed his lips to hers.

Her lower lips, of course.

She tried to stifle a loud yelp by muffling it with her hands. Her hips bucked on contact and her thighs instinctively tightened their vice grip around Edward's head, locking him close to her. Edward stifled a chuckle that vibrated through her core. Blair threw her head back in on her pillow in defeat and tried to count the lumps in the crown molding.

4 lumps…5…6… "Uhn…" His cool tongue penetrated her and began to roll in and out of her heat.

Oh hell! Arching her hips dragged her practically to the foot of the bed with him. She was wringing her hands through his hair as he lavished her with his tongue. The danger of it made it exhilarating. His cool hands reached up and banded her quaking thighs firmly to the point that it nearly hurt and even that felt good. Holding her firmly he started to kiss her deeper, exploring her every crevice and fold with his tongue and dipping it into her sex.

The venom in his mouth did naughty things to her, both numbing her pain and sensitizing her flesh at the same time.

Edward smiled against her flesh but said nothing.

She whimpered and mewed beneath him. Her soft mews were music to his hears, calling out the innate desire in him to have her weak and vulnerable beneath him, completely at his mercy. He inhaled deeply, bringing her rich arousal and blood into his senses. Her fingers were threaded tightly in his hair, tugging with all their might but Edward only registered a mild tugs. Utterly contented, he could do this all day. He hummed a contented sound that sent a lighting bolt through her core.

He trailed his tongue up and swirled it around her bundle of nerves, skirting around her clitoris but never truly touching it but the effect was like a wave of velvet crashing over her.

"Oh God!" She moaned viscerally as she felt herself unraveling underneath him.

She buried his face in her sex, holding him hostage there by her vice grip thighs while she shook with a cathartic and almost violent tremor that washed over her.

Though he was millions times stronger than her he let her hold him hostage for a bit while he tasted her greedily. When she slackened her hold on him he smiled drunkenly, pulling up a bit to drop a moist kiss on flash beneath her bellybutton. He had to admit, that this was indubitably one of his better mornings in his lifetime.

Some days, he told himself, it's good to be Edward Cullen.

He sprawled out at her side and bundled her in his arms. "I love you," he sighed, like he couldn't get enough of saying it.

"Ah this is the life," she sighed in contentment and he kissed her shoulder in agreement.

_Careful B, you could get used to this…_

The thought crept up and swatted the bliss out of her hands.

Edward tensed beside her, he wasn't the only one. "Blair…," he began hesitantly, "Can we talk about this."

"I need a human moment," she said abruptly, the same time detangling from the sheets and padding across the room the bathroom.

"Blair, hear me out."

It took all of one second for Edward to stand in front of her. "Edward, please just give me a sec…" Self consciousness had settled over Blair like unwelcome baby fat and she attempted to shield her body from his stare. "…and some clothes. I'd really appreciate that."

For a moment he didn't budge but, with a reluctant sigh, he nodded and allowed her pass. She all but darted to the bathroom and shut the door loudly.

_Do. Not. Overanalyze. This. I will calm. The fuck. Down._

As the stark lights flickered on and Blair faced her bedraggled image in the mirror, autopilot kicked in and she began to systematically search his bathroom for something remotely related to face wash and hair products to clean herself up with. With forced clinical detachment, she began her habitual walk of shame routine. What she found was bar soap, a toothbrush she eyed dubiously and glass bottle of Listerine. It would have to do.

Since there was nothing she could do with her hair, she combed her wet fingers though it, and pulled it away from her face. Her lips were bright pink and swollen from the combination of his tingling venom and his rough kisses.

Just that thought of it fluttered in her abdomen and tightened her chest. The socialite took a steeling breath and shook herself out of it, flicking off the lights aggressively and stormed out.

Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed looking, once again, like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Thankfully he averted his eyes so that she could cross the room without feeling self conscious. She immediately noticed there was a dress laid out on the bed for her.

_Say what you will, but the boy has taste. _She wasted no time in pulling the silk, floral, Balenciaga dress over her shoulders. It fell a little lower than midthigh and fit her a little snug around the hips, but it was fine.

"It's Esme's," he said.

She nodded. "Thank you."

Edward let out a soft breath and pushed himself up from the bed. She felt his hand touch hers but she was lost in the steely resolve in his honey eyes. "Let's go out to the living room and talk."

_Great. Closer to the door which is closer to the curb…_

With a sigh, she let him lead her out, knowing exactly what he was about to say, and feeling utterly powerless to do anything about anything. They sat down on that same couch and Blair held her breath while he gathered his words. Really, the fact that she even _thought _that last night would change anything was…

"Blair, I need to leave for Brazil once Alice gets here. I can't change that-"

"I understand."

"No, you don't Blair," he eyes her earnestly. "If this wasn't my mess to fix, Blair, I wouldn't leave your side."

"You don't have say this, Edward. We're both adults. Last night was...amazing but it just doesn't change anything. You're still a vampire and I'm…with Chuck," she scrambled to pull that one together and it showed.

Edward reeled back from her as if he'd been smacked across the face. Chuck…they were talking about fucking Chuck right now?

"You're with Chuck?" Edward growled at her icily.

"Um…?" _Wait, why are we talking about Chuck. Aren't you kicking me to the curb right now? _"Yeah…I told you this?" Now she was lost.

"Then why the f…_Why_ did you stay with me last night?" he demanded.

What? What? What?

"Was last night nothing to you, Blair?"

That just about did it. "What!" Blair shook with the force of her fury and anguish, "The _fuck _is wrong with you?"

"How dare you ask me that like you weren't there? Do you think I'm heartless? Do you think for one second this isn't painful and confusing to me? I've given everything and you have the nerve to ask me that? What more do you want from me Edward? What do you want me to tell you? That I'm still in love with you? That every man I've ever been with was just a poor substitute for you? That I can't stand being away from you even though I know…"

Tears started to clog her words. Silently, he grabbed her and shifted her effortlessly into his lap.

"Blair I cant stand being away from you either." He folded his arms around her and spoke into her hair. "I miss _this _Blair, us...Your smile, your laugh, your lipstick on my collar your tampons in glove box..."

_Huh?_ Her head shot up so fast she smacked him across the face with her whipping hair. She stared at him, skeptically.

He took a nervous breath. "What I'm trying to say is that I'm willing make us work…that is…if you are…"

He let out a frustrated breath, suddenly turning into a nervous mess. His whole world depended on her answer.

"You want to be with me?" she demanded, caution in her voice.

He nodded nervously. "I know once my sister gets here she's try to fight tooth and nail to talk you out of it, but I'd like you to consider trying to us again when I get back from Brazil."

She stared at him for about minute before quietly rising from the couch and stalking to the front door, grabbing her purse from the coffee table on the way. Her heels were strewn too, en route to the door and she stepped into them. Edward watched her, drugged into silence with pain and anguish.

He lethargically rose and stalked over to her before she opened the door. He felt the soul he never knew he had crumble into a new layer of agony: heartbreak. He had never felt such a thing in century long life.

"So that's a no then?" He voice was frighteningly low and measured. "I suppose I don't deserve your explanation."

Her eyes widened with disgust. "What you deserve is a slap in the face, Edward, because that's what this is!"

He had the nerve to look confused.

"What were you going to do next? _Marry _me?" She demanded and he truly didn't have a clue what her problem was.

"And if I did?" he asked, shocked at her tone. "Don't play games with me woman, if you don't want me, say so, and be done with it."

"If I don't want you? What I want is of no consequence. You just insulted me on a new level!"

"How the fuck did I do that, pray tell?" He hollered at her back.

She scowled at him. "Oh I think you know; how low do you think it makes me feel to know that you're only willing to stay with me out of obligation."

"Obligation…what?" He took a calming breath while she glowered at him. "Please explain to me why you feel this way because it seems like I cannot win with you," he sighed out dejectedly.

"I told you…" she began in a raw voice, "how much it hurt when Nate did this—pretended to love me, stayed with me because of his parents, his feeling of obligation to me. I told you how much it tore me apart to know he didn't…"

"Oh Blair…" Edward pushed the distance away between them and folded her in his arms. "This isn't the case. I love you more than anything, you know this. This is what I _want_."

"You can honestly tell me that this isn't because of last night?" She murmured into his chest.

With his chin on her head, he looked out into the room with wide eyes. He couldn't. "Yes."

He lied. Nothing had changed between them. He still wouldn't change her, his family would never get behind them, and he couldn't promise her a life without danger and regrets. She knew this, but she let herself relax in his arms and told herself she could live with that, at least, for a little while.

What the hell was wrong with her? This was no time to be strung out on Edward's charisma. That was the same shit that had her damn near suicidal when he left her the first time and it would be the same shit to end her when he inevitably left her again. Because ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAD CHANGED.

With shaky arms, she pushed away from him. "Blair," he began in a hesitant voice.

"I can't… No, stop!" He was moving towards her and he froze in his tracks. His jaw clenched in silent agitation and he blew out an angry breath. Stunned by the fact that he was listening to her instead of overpowering her as usual, she continued. "I can't do this dance with you again."

He let out an almost resigned sigh and nodded.

And then, as if a demon possessed her, she had to add, "Besides, Edward, I'm with _Charles,_ you know that." She fastened him with a cold look.

"Are you trying to hurt me Blair?" he asked in a voice that was so quietly furious that she could only describe it as 'cruel'.

_Yes…_

"Because it fucking _seems_ like you're trying to hurt me."

She stuck out lower lip in defiance and raised a challenging brow and told him, "Goodbye Edward."

A myriad of emotions passed through his usually stoic face but he only shook his head, forcibly holding back whatever retort he had planned for her. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath.

"Don't come after me, Edward." She opened the door and fled like her own shadow was coming after her. She was truly afraid that if she paused for second that loyal heart would drag her back to him.

Her command anchored him to the floor like nothing he had ever felt before. Perhaps it was his own lack of resolution that did it or the fact that he knew she was right. Either way; he simply could not find the will to chase after her. Crestfallen, he bowed his head against the door and allowed that novel heartbreak to cascade over him like a lava shower. Though he sensed her presence in the heady room, Edward did not immediately turn around to face her.

"She's getting stronger, I see. Or is your will getting weaker, Eddie-cakes?"

Alice's little frame was standing in the living room with a comically large bag in her hands looking wearier than a vampire had any right to and particularly annoyed at the scene before her. Behind her, Edward noticed that one of the windows was open, streaming sunshine and noise into the living room.

"I don't want to hear it." Edward faced her in equal annoyance and the whole atmosphere spiked again with irritation and anxiety.

"What Edward? You're not going to ask me how my 4 hour layover in London was or how the only ticket available on such notice was in coach or how I had to sit between a crying baby and greedy slob with irritable bowel syndrome!"

She glowered across the room at Edward.

"And on top of that, being assaulted by images of you doing _exactly _what I begged you not to do!"

Edward rolled his eyes in irritation. "Well I'm sure you two can have a great time commiserating over my failings," He muttered, meaning Blair. With that, he pushed off from the door and stalked across the room, grabbing his phone and his wallet off the coffee table en route to the door.

"Where are you going?" Alice asked.

He put one hand up in a "what do you want from me" gesture and told her, "Victoria isn't going to kill _herself_."

The little pixie sprang across the room in his tracks and crouched down to block his path to the door. He rolled his eyes to the ceiling in annoyance.

"It hurts doesn't it?" the little hellion taunted. "It's strange how we can feel these things: love, pleasure, heartache…and yet be soulless demons, what a strange God, you worship, Edward."

Edward cut his eyes at her. "I don't make the rules, Alice. And even if it weren't so, I know what you're trying at and I'll never do it."

"You're afraid!" she accused. "Admit it, you're afraid she'll be more powerful than you…"

"That's bullshit."

"It's fear that rules you, not belief." The imp rose from her crouch and began circling him.

"Easy for you to say; you have no memory of you're humanity. You were always _this_," he spat at her.

She pouted. "Only a desperate man would take such a cheap shot, Edward."

"Fuck you, Alice."

"You know brother, for a moment, when I came in here and saw Blair leaving, she smelled almost entirely vampire," Alice mused. "I thought you grew a pair. Strange isnt it…"

This time Edward did roll his eyes. "She has my venom inside of her, naturally she smells like me. What's your point?"

"You should change her."

"She doesn't want it."

"And whose fault is that?" Alice hissed venomously. "You've told her nothing but doom and gloom since the beginning. Nothing of traveling the world, seeing history unfold, partying with rock stars and famous artists, and feeling every emotion magnified by a thousand."

"Never," he fumed.

"What are you so afraid of Edward?" Alice demanded in her high pitched goading voice. "What is it; you'll rather see her married off and pregnant with some other man's child?"

The words cut him like a knife to the cut. He really almost doubled over. He felt sick from the image that assaulted him. Alice, the cruel bitch was showing him Blair's future.

"I thought this would make you happy, Edward," she sneered as the image of Blair coddling a dark haired baby smacked him in the face. "Isn't this what you want for her? What's wrong? What's holding you back from changing this?"

"Please, Alice." He knew sounded pitiful but he couldn't bare it anymore.

"You could give her a choice."

"No."

"Why Edward? Because you think we're soulless? Because of God, Edward? What is it…?"

"Because she'll hate me!" He shouted out with a force that shook the room. "She'll hate what she's become and she'll blame me. I'm no Carlisle; I can't deal with that, Alice…"

The room grew silent except for his labored breathing. He closed his eyes tightly, feeling an alien urge to…cry? Strange…though, of course, tears would never come. Little hands came and folded around his torso. His evil sister was hugging him and he was crying…seriously what the fuck was wrong with this picture?

"There, there, my pussy of a big brother," Alice cooed. "We always knew you were the sweet one."

Edward chuckled, though he didn't shake off her embrace. "A word of this to Emmett and I'm shaving you're head." His voice was terse.

"Oh Edward…you know the first time Jasper and I made love, he cried like a baby. Broke right down and started blubbering on about how he never thought he could feel so much happiness in his life."

Edward smirked and patted her spiky head. "T.M.I. but that makes me feel better, pixie."

Alice smiled. It's been a long time since the family had been together and she'd missed him, brooding and all.

"Tell me what to do, Alice," he asked. His voice was completely lost. "I can't lose her now."

"Do what you believe is right."

"I don't know what I believe in anymore."

"Yes you do."

Edward released a cathartic sigh. "You suck, you know that, sis?"

"Did you miss me, Eddie-cakes?" Alice entreated, like she really wanted to know the answer.

"Yes…" He grouched.

"Ah Edward, see! You _do _have a soul!" She squealed and hugged him tighter.

"Now stop crying like a little girl and let's talk."

* * *

**Footnote: Feedback Time!**

**1. I know this chapter has been a ride. What do you think of all the sexy times? Finally!**

**2. Yes, Eddie-cakes is a little b**ch and we love him. Poor thing…**

**3. Team Edward, where ya at? Did anyone feel sorry for him towards the end? Anyone thing he's redeemed himself?**

**4. Team Alice! Shout outs galore!**

**5. Blair and her mysterious abilities... Hmm...curiouser and curiouser. Who called it?**

**6. Sexy times! So Eddie-cakes has FINALLY popped his cherry! Cheers! Balloons! Confetti! Was it good for you? *Wink***


	19. Mergers and Acquisitions

AN: Longest chapter ever. Woot woot for almost 11k words of roller coastery lemony goodness…and danger! **Review** people! There aren't many chapters left and I really want to push this baby over the 400 mark!

Also thanks for reviewing. I hope you guys enjoyed the preview of the upcoming chapter.

Special Hollers to recent reviews:

**midorimouse7**: Glad you enjoyed the sexy side of Edward Cullen. We shall revisit him again…soon. Oh and Edward completely deserves nothing but cruelty and bitterness from Blair. I feel sorry for him…but not really. Blair has a lot of anger and bitterness towards him and he wasn't just going to get off the hook on account of a few sexy times. ;)

**frickandfrack09**: Woohoo. Ello old friend. Tampons in the glove compartment, of course. Worry not, all will be answered VERY soon…like nowish. Haha. No worries about reviewing late. That's what "special hollers" are for.

Mood Music:

Rumor Has It – Adele

What's a Girl to Do- Bat for Lashes

* * *

"I don't know what _he's _doing here. This is a Bass Industries meeting." The young man standing at the head of the boardroom was spiffily dressed, from his loose linen suit to his stylish fedora. He leveled a dark look across the oval table. Seat and seats of black stiff shirts, floppy jackets, and expensive ties, and his hazel eyes landed on the gentleman in question who had his chair angled away from her face.

Several seats along the long table from where she was seated, the leather chair swiveled slightly to reveal a tall figure in an impeccably tailored striped suit that looked terribly out of context with the other men around him, who were all more or less wearing baggy zoot suits.

"The twenties called," somebody chided under his breath. "They want their menswear back."

Her eyes traversed the stripes up his long legs, one crossed casually over the other, to his long arms and then to his genteel fingers that were bridged pensively over his crossed legs. His eyebrows were thick and arched with amusement. His bone structure was impeccable save for the imbalance of his grin, his eyes were like liquid gold and his hair was the messiest blend of brown, oat, and ginger.

"Well _Charles, _as you know I'm here to protect my interest." His voice was like seductive dream. "You don't think I'll just sit idly by and allow you to sail off into the ocean with _my _assets, Bass." On cue, the horn of a yacht sounded in the distance.

The girl with the short pixie cut hair and gold hoop earrings felt a sharp urge to weasel her way out of the meeting. After all, she wasn't supposed to be in this scene.

Charles shot her with a look that pinned her to her seat the minute she attempted to quietly raise from her chair. Pouting and sitting back down, she did not daring look over at the no doubt smirking ginger.

"Well you're too late, _Cullen. _The lady in question has already agreed to a merger." His hot hazel eyes were still beating on her. She could feel them but refused to look up. Instead she adjusted her skirt daintily and examined grains in the cherry wood table.

They were ruining the scene, the both of them, and she simply _refused _to be party to any of this.

"Good heavens," the same snide old man sighed beside her. "Is this about the chauffeur's daughter again?"

"Come now gentlemen, let's not speak about the lady like she's not sitting right here."

Her eyes skirted up to the smirking ginger across from her briefly then shyly fell. She felt her cheeks grow hot.

"Now that we all know who's present, let's proceed!" Charles shouted and everyone snapped their eyes to him. "You think I can't add two and two together. You think I don't know you two have been running around behind my back!"

"Behind _your _back!" Edward slammed his hand on the table and stood up. "You forget you're already promised the rest of your life to Bass Industries." He pointed at Chuck accusingly. "_I _was simply showing her the attention _you've _been neglecting!"

"Enough! Sabrina is _mine. I'm _the one who she's always secretly loved." Charles bellowed back at him.

"And _I'm _the one who she'll be sailing off with at noon," Edward countered.

"Stop! You both are ruining one of my favorite movies." Blair stood up and slammed her purse on the table. Her dark eyes shot a ping pong glare between the both of them.

"Sabrina!" They both pleaded simultaneously.

"Blair!" She corrected.

"Sabrina," come away with me, _Chuck _can't possibly make you happy. I can." Edward beseeched the same time Chuck told her,

"I can make you happier than _him;_ he'll take you away from everything you know: your city, your family, and your friends."

Blair looked to Chuck, seeing his point.

"We'll have each other. That's all that matters, Sabrina."

"Blair!" She insisted. Her neck hurt from whipping back and forth between them and they were talking over each other, clouding her senses with their overlapping voices.

"Sabrina!" "Sabrina!" "Sabrina!"

"Stop!"

Blair shot up from her pillow like a prop on a spring. Perspiration beaded along her forehead and her heart was beating fast.

_Weird dream… _

Her hands immediately went to her hair to check if was still all there. It was.

_Really weird dream. _

She shook her head and grabbed her phone off the nightstand to check the time.

It was almost time to get ready for school.

_Right. Spring Break…_

Noticing that there were a few notifications from Gossip Girl, she automatically checked the site.

"Seriously!"

_Rise and Shine, Upper East Siders. Spring Break has officially begun, though Gossip never takes a break. And although many of you might find yourself flying south, I have some juice for you that will make you wish you'd stayed in town. _

_I have, in my hand, and anonymous tip too juicy not to share. While rumors have been circulating that Queen B left this weekends fete sans the raven rakehell we all know and love, it seems the face that launched a thousand tweets spent her night having a "Trojan War" of sorts with none other than her illusive ex, EC! _

_On second thoughts, reader, I suggest everyone keep a safe distance from Manhattan. Something tell me it's about to be war. _

_Team Edward or Team Chuck?_

_Till Next Time,_

_-G.G._

"_Fuuuck _my life!" Blair wailed towards her ceiling like some Disney villain whose plans had just been foiled. _Seriously HOW could Edward do this to me?_

Serena had left her a voicemail.

"_Mmhmm… 'Staying in NY to spend time with Chuck', I see. I am SO judging you. Seriously, B, THIS is why you should've come to Miami with me and Poppy. Anyway…I really need to hear the details like RIGHT NOW so get outa bed and call me back or else I'll stalk your phone hard core. Luv ya!"_

He could've been in the Amazon by now for all she cared but she was going to call him and give him a little piece.

"Ehem…" There was a tiny cough from the direction of her window and Blair nearly leaped from her bed in fear.

"Alice?" Her eyes narrowed, still struggling to adjust to the sunlight. "Alice!"

"Blair!" She squealed. With one graceful flourish, she sprang from the windowsill and landed like a feather on top of her duvet in a crouched position.

"I can't believe you're here!"

"I can't believe _I'm _here. Ooh I've _missed _you!" She attacked the socialite with a bear hug.

"When did you get here?"

"Yesterday."

"So you waited all this time to give me a heart attack?"

"You know I love to make grand entrances." The little pixie winked.

Blair felt her smile slide away. "Is _he _here?"

Alice shook her head.

"Oh Blair." Alice cooed and gave her friend another hug. "I know, but it's really for the best. Now you can finally move on from him," she added with a chirpy lift.

_Hurray for me. _

"Speaking of life..." Alice pulled back and examined her. "You've really been giving _me_ a heart attack with your exploits young lady."

Blair's hair fell forward as she bowed her head in shame. She sensed Alice was trying to distract her but inevitably gave in. "Just a phase, Alice. It was bound to happen eventually."

"True." Alice nodded while pursing her lips. "Most girls go through that phase in _college_ and only not so public or high profile."

"Yes well… Enough about me; how is everyone?" Blair made a lame attempt at a smile. "I've really missed you guys."

The pixie bounced on the bed with like an over animated toddler and clamped her hands together.

"Everyone is great actually—the boys are excited for the chance to hunt Victoria. Boys..." She rolled her eyes. "We've all really missed you. Jasper was so broken up after—"

"I forgive him," Blair interrupted her and it surprised them both. She didn't realize until she said it out loud how much she meant it.

"You do?" Alice's high voice took on a childlike quality. Blair nodded. "Oh Blair you don't know how much that will mean to him. He really cares about you, you know. You're like a sister to him."

Blair gave a pained smile but the chipper sprite wouldn't quit.

"Well, I'll be glad when Victoria's taken care of so you can finally put vampires behind you." She clapped again. "Isn't that a relief?" Alice shouted like she wanted the whole household to hear her.

"Alice, I slept with him," Blair whispered back so softy it was like she was confessing to herself.

The vampire drew in a sharp breath and pretended she hadn't heard that. "So…I hear you're with Chuck now huh… how's that going? I think it's really great that you two finally got together. I mean, I called it months ago but…"

"And he just _left_…" Her voice thickened with agony.

"You've really turned him around, I must commend you. I had my doubts but Chuck's a new man with you."

"Alice you're not listening—"

Alice's stance deflated like a punctured balloon. She frowned and her facial features seemed to sharpen.

"I _am_, Blair but what do you want me to tell you?" Her voice was quieter now and sedate. "You two cannot be—and you know this and you told him to go. You can't blame him for it."

Not used to being brought up short by anyone, much less flighty Alice, Blair drew a sharp breath. Against her will, her lips formed a defiant pout. "You're supposed to have my side," she moaned piteously.

"I _am _on your side Blair. I love you like my own sister and I wanted you a part of my family so much, but I realize now that it was selfish. Edward knows in his heart too, as much as he might fight, he knows he can't stay and have you as a human. I'm on your side—I want you find happiness without him or me or any of this." She waved a bubble around herself. "That's why I'm telling you, as your friend, that you cannot toy with Edward—"

"What…"

"Or allow him to toy with you, for that matter," she finished and her friend looked as if she wanted to punch her in the face and collapse in tears simultaneously.

Conflicted, Alice watched her friend in torture and sighed.

Blair's body sagged but she nodded.

"I suppose I have to accept it. But I can't believe he would purposely sabotage me by telling Gossip Girl I was with him. I guess I deserved that final stab."

Alice stared at her incredulously. Her mouth struggled against a wide forming smile.

"Silly goose! Do you really think my brother would do such a thing?"

Blair frowned. "I suppose not but…"

"_I_ sent that tip, Blair," Alice informed her in a matter of fact tone.

"What!"

Alice only smiled and patted Blair's hand patronizingly. "I had to Blair. _Someone _has to set this love story in motion."

Blair narrowed her eyes suspiciously. She opened her mouth to contest but her phone started ringing and it was Chuck.

~x~

Chuck stared over the ledge of his balcony and looked down at the busy city. He was drunk and he was high and all he needed was a gust of wind to tip him over and end it all. He took another clumsy swig of his scotch and it salved his soul.

Why Blair. Why is it always Blair, that girl, that infuriating girl that tortured him and danced in the fires of his mind. How she drove him insane for months: traipsing around town fucking everyone except him. Now, just when he thought he'd pinned her down… God, and she'd said she loved him. He winced and ran the sleeve of his jacket under his nose miserably when he remembered it.

He told himself it was all pointless. This was all completely irrelevant because, if Gossip Girl was to be trusted, she was probably schmoozing up to her Prince charming Edward. How perfect. Yet again, Blair was not staying still. She could've given him a day to explain himself... Again, moot points weren't going to get him anywhere. He needed to forget Blair. Yes, forget Blair. Or if not, bury his feelings for her deep somewhere, preferably in a buxom redhead. He couldn't be the person she needed him to be, and she had made that painfully evident when she abandoned him at the opera for her ex. It riled his empty stomach to think that they were probably together right now.

He took another swig and attempted to de-clutter his thoughts of Blair (with a slim chance of success). More important than Blair, and who she was currently screwing, was his father's legacy. No one believed he could do anything other than fuck women, spend money, and drink profusely. He sniffed and ran his sleeve under his nose again. God, he was growing up faster than he wanted to—but not fast enough for Blair it seemed.

So much for going away to college, screwing sorority girls, and living the libertine lifestyle. From now on it was going to be board meetings, charity balls, mergers, and acquisitions. From now on he was going to have to clean up his public image and play kiss-ass to his father's board so they don't dismantle and sell his company before he came of age.

He was up for the challenge as long as he had Blair by his side, putting up with his debauchery and making him better for it.

The wind lapped at him again and he took heedful step away from his balcony back into his room where he noticed someone had been banging on the door.

He adjusted the tie on his robe and crossed the room.

Nathanial stomped into the room, dressed in board shorts and a V-neck. He had sunglasses on top of his head and a small bag in his arms. He tossed the bag aside the minute he crossed the threshold and plopped loudly on the bed.

"Alright, screw Cali. What's the plan for kicking this douche bag's ass."

Chuck frowned. "Don't tell me you canceled you spring break pussy_-palooza _on account of a Gossip Girl blast."

Nate shook his head. "I don't get it. Every time this guy comes around, he breaks Blair's heart and skips town and she keeps going back to him. He must be one smooth ass motherfucker."

"The guy is smooth, I'll give him that. But Blair has inarguably always been stupid when it comes to him." Chuck sighed with discontent. "Let's not forget the book of Forks, chapter Hospital bandages."

"It's like he has her dick-notized or something," Nate added thoughtfully.

Chuck took another sip of scotch. Their conversation was doing nothing for his ego.

He shrugged. "She's a free woman."

Nate looked up at his friend in disbelief. "You're not to try to stop her?" he demanded.

"Why would I?"

"You love her, don't you?" Nate offered matter-of-factly.

The only answer that question afforded was the clinking of ice in Chuck's cup.

Nate sighed and looked up at the heavens. "Look, I know I didn't treat Blair like I should have. I hurt her…sometimes I think the only reason she keeps taking shit from this guy is because of the way I made her feel…"

"Get over yourself, Archibald," Chuck huffed.

"Whatever Chuck… I'll fight for her if you won't." He met his eyes with a deep look. "I still care about her…like that…"

"You have got to be kidding me." If this was a ploy to stoke his anger, it worked. His hazel eyes seemed to darken with murder. "_Tell _me you're fucking kidding."

"I'm not." Nate looked down at his hands.

"Yeah well she doesn't love you," he snapped with spite. His drink sloshed out of his cup.

"I know. She loves _you,_" Nate looked up at him. "And I'm fine with that…because you're my best friend and I've always known you were in love with her."

Chuck's mouth fell open with a halted curse.

"You're right…" Chuck eyed the floor with terror. His breath was shuttering and he felt as though he was watching himself get tortured. "I-I _love_ her..."

"No shit." Nate smirked. "Why don't you tell _her _that, buddy?"

"I-I cant…she's going to start expecting things from me…that I can't…I'll disappoint her. I'll…"

*Smack*

"Archibald, what the fuck!" Chuck stumbled backwards and palmed his injured cheek.

"Dude, you were two seconds away from crawling into fetal position and crying like a little bitch." Nate sniggered. "I had to do it."

Combing his fingers through his hair. One of his signature conspiring grins began to form on his lips.

"Leave me alone, Nate," Chuck barked. "I need a shower and shave, and I need a new suit."

Game. Fucking. On.

**~ x~**

"Good Morning, Blair," the suspiciously calm and collected voice of Chuck purred into the phone.

Blair glanced over at Alice who only stared back at her blankly. Blair didn't believe it for moment.

"Chuck… about…"

"Listen, duchess, I don't really give a shit about who you were with this weekend, so spare yourself the trouble," he cut in. His voice was still eerily benign.

Shit. This was bad. Alice started to browse around her room deliberately, offering her no assistance at all.

"I'm sorry…" she said hesitantly and she was. She really hated hurting Chuck.

"Are you now?" he cooed, in a musing tone.

Blair released a martyred sigh. "Chuck…I refuse to play this mind game."

"Fine. Can you possibly refuse to play mind games with me over breakfast?"

Again, Blair was floored. She looked to Alice but the frustrating little imp disappeared into her closet. She could hear the sound of her wooden hangers clicking rapidly.

"You want to see me?"

"_Please._" He voice suddenly sounded vulnerable.

Blair was certainly not ready to talk—mainly because she had nothing to say for herself.

"When?"

"Are you home? I'll pick you up in twenty minutes."

_Oh shit he must be really pissed if he can't even say it over the phone. _She was really the worst fake girlfriend ever.

Blair's mouth fell agape when Alice skipped out of the closet holding up her chiffon Dior dress in purplish gray in one hand and a pair of nude pumps in the other.

"_What the hell are you up to?" _Blair mouthed.

"Do you think you can take Charming's dick out of your mouth, long enough for that, sweetness," she heard Chuck asked and choked on her own tongue.

Alice started whistling a random tune and Blair's eyes narrowed into slits.

"Chuck," she warned and he hung up.

"What the fuck, Alice? Since when are you 'Team Chuck' all of a sudden?"

~x~

All jazzed up in one of his stellar suits, Chuck pulled out the chair for the highly confused socialite and then sat placidly across from her.

"Chuck," she immediately began to ramble. "I'm so sorry about leaving you at the opera. I was childish and immature. I really didn't mean to end up at Edward's. I don't know what to say for myself where he's concerned. It's just so confusing because I care for you and-"

"_Care_ for me?" He scowled and looked distinctly hurt. "Is that all?"

"No." Blair rushed to assuage him. "Chuck you _know _that I love you."

Chuck stilled thoughtfully and appeared to be mollified by her admission.

He gazed off distantly for a moment before honing his eyes on hers. "I love you," he told her simply.

"W-what? No?"

He nodded. "Yes," he countered in a casual tone. "I think I always have. Probably since I took your virginity in my limo and couldn't stop thinking about you…or before that, when you gave me a black eye in the 7th grade for unhooking your bra in public."

He said all of this as if they were talking about…mergers and acquisitions.

Suddenly the waiter came by and Chuck studied to menu for about 30 seconds while her heart went into cardiac arrest.

He ordered and then glanced over at her expectantly. "What about you Blair," he mused, then the young waiter waited for her order.

"W-what. Y—you just…you just…" Blair stammered inarticulately.

"She'll have the same… Oh and bring her a mimosa." He smiled and handed his menu to the waiter who clearly had a thing for 17 year old billionaires. Male billionaires. The man lingered around the table longer than propriety allowed but he finally wondered off at a sharp look from Chuck.

Blair's mouth was attracting flies at this point and he looked so blasé and passive.

"I have a proposal for you." He leaned in to her and placed his hands on the table.

"An acquisition?" She asked after a beat. Her dream was coming back to her. Of course, it all made sense. Now that Chuck felt there was competition he would react quickly to protect his assets. Chuck had always been shrewdly ruthless in his dealing—especially when it came to things he considered his. "You want to acquire me now?"

"More like a merger." His eyes twinkled with mischief. "You bring your baggage, I bring mine and we both attempt to behave like a real couple THIS time around."

She stared at him for a long time, wondering if she should feel offended or not. Was he trying to hurt her on purpose or was he really that insensitive. How many times did she have to make it clear to him that she did not like being toyed with—especially her feelings? Even if he really loved her it was because a man like Chuck Bass could afford to give his love away liberally—Blair couldn't, and she had learned this the hard way.

The waiter came back with her mimosa, setting it down like a ticking bomb and flitting away, lest he garner another reproachful look from Mr. Bass.

Blair took a salving sip of her sparkling drink and decided to reason with him.

"Charles," she began, always using his given name when he was about to be lectured. "You don't have to do this. Edward is out of my life and I'm not going anywhere."

The table fell silent as Chuck pensively absorbed her words.

After a moment he said, "See that's the thing, Blair. What we have right now is bullshit."

When she began to contest he simply interrupted her.

"You forget I've known you your whole life and I've seen you date my best friend and that other asshole. I'm asking you, please be that girl with me—so when I tell you that I love you and simply want to be with you, you believe it."

"I can't." Blair said in despair. "I can't be that girl anymore, Chuck."

"_Try," _he urged with hazel eyes so exposed and sincere she almost did.

She could do this. She could trust him when he said he loved her and give herself over to him. She thought of it: Chuck and Blair at the park, Chuck and Blair at the matinee, Chuck and Blair in love.

But of course, the thought of giving herself over to Chuck immediately riled up memories of Edward…kissing her, touching her, loving her. Undeniably, there a part of her that was still staunchly loyal to Edward and the thought of taking her relationship further with Chuck made her feel seedy…like she was cheating on him somehow.

_What. The Fuck?_

Blair wanted to cry and break something. She wanted to fling her drink across the restaurant and wail to the heavens like the miserable wretch she was. How the hell could this be happening to her! After abandoning her yet again, and everything he'd put her through, why the hell couldn't she move on!

She wasn't sure if it was written on her face, but by the look on his, she didn't need to say more. She was frustrated with Edward and she was angry at herself.

Chuck sighed miserably in defeat and said, "So it's still Edward, then...," and Blair couldn't even answer. She eyes fell to her lap in shame and anguish.

She was, beyond a doubt, the dumbest female that ever lived and she knew it.

~ x~

When the car pulled up to the curb of her townhouse, Godfrey got out of the car but wisely made no movement to let her out.

Chuck stared out of his window while Blair watched his distant profile, battling two very conflicting urges to assure him somehow and to flee. But she had no idea what to say to him. The longer she stayed in Chuck's presence the stronger she felt that she wasn't being true to herself.

"So…friends?" Chuck blew out a pained breath as if he'd been punched in the gut and looked over at her like she was crazy.

"Or not…" Blair frowned. She really knew she was making this worse the more she kept talking.

Chuck rolled his eyes. "Whatever you want Waldorf," he groaned with a martyred sigh. "You know I'm around."

She leaned over to hug him and he pulled her into a kiss filled with longing. She let him—and she'd be lying if she said it didn't feel good.

If she was smart, she'd have told him she'd changed her mind right there. But since Blair was no longer operating with her head, but her stupid, illogical, and highly infuriating heart, she pulled away from the boy who had fought with her, protected her, changed his life for her, and she broke _his _heart instead.

~x~

Blair must have punched her security code incorrectly several times before Dorota came and let her in. She moped into the foyer, feeling like she'd murdered someone she loved. She wanted to cry and hit and sulk and then throw things. Then she wanted to call Edward and let him have it for the state he had put her in.

"Mees Blair is okay?" Dorota's usually warm eyes seemed spiked with irritation.

"Huh…oh yes…"

"There is very unwelcome guest to see you," she whispered tartly and cocked her head towards the drawing room. "I almost kick him out, Mees Blair."

Blair frowned. The only unwelcomed guest that ever got Dorota so riled was that old police investigator who had stopped hounding her about her whereabouts after Collin's death months ago. Chewing over her thoughts, she wondered into the drawing room without really looking around.

"Blair," he said and she gasped, staring up at him like a ghost. He was standing in her drawing room looking particularly anxious.

"Mees Blair should I have shown him out?"

Blair shook her head fiercely and hissed, "Leave us."

Dorota scurried out of the room leaving her to gawk at the incongruence of Edward in her house. He stood there among her mother's feminine decor looking strikingly male. Handsome as always—his tall frame, his dark fitted jeans and buttoned shirt and his hair standing in every direction like a copper anime drawing.

"I thought you were gone. What are you doing here?" The statement came out more accusatory than she'd wanted.

"Gone?" His brows knitted with confusion. "After the argument we had this weekend? Why would you think that?"

"Alice said you left." This time she was accusing. Her voice was low and raw and she kept a long barrier of furniture between them.

"Alice," he sighed and shook his head several times. "I don't know why she would tell you that. I'm sorry."

Obviously the pixie had some ulterior motive for leading her to believe that he had just upped and abandoned her after the night they'd shared together. Blair thought this could possibly be due to the fact that the pixie was Team Chuck. Then again, she probably knew that she would shut Chuck down beforehand.

She suddenly realized that everything about this morning including the clothes on her body was planned by Alice.

Blair blew out an aggravated breath. "Fucking Alice."

Edward subdued a smile and tried to come closer to her but she stepped back instantly. "Did I say 'fucking Alice'? I meant Fucking Vampires. Now get out of my house."

The vampire responded by crossing the room before she could register his movement and kissing her, hard. She made a brief noise of protest before anchoring her arms behind his neck and cleaving to him to the point that her feet weren't even touching the floor anymore. He pulled her away as soon as it became shamefully clear who was kissing who. Nonplussed, she totted back on her heels and glared up at him.

"Yeah…ehem. Whatever. What do you want now?" She demanded harshly, which was comical since she was struggling to both adjust her rumpled dress and steady her wobbly stance as she said this.

"I want to talk."

"No."

"Why not?"

She shuttered with frustration and rolled her eyes. "Because it's always more of the same so please leave."

The vampire scrolled eyes over her in mild annoyance. "I understand that you're angry though I'm not entirely sure what I've done _this _time to get you so upset but do you think you can tone it down a little because I'm not going anywhere."

Edward mentally braced himself for impact.

"Tone it down!" She shouted loud enough to warrant Dorota sneaking a quick peak into the room. "You…Argh!" She threw her hands up.

"I love you too, Blair." He squeezed her waist with his hands lightly.

Blair only scowled at him, which was fine; she wasn't asking him to remove his hands from her either.

"Blair my love, I _heard _you Saturday. All I ask is that you hear me." Her eyes remained cautious and mistrustful. "And if you think I'm giving you more of the same, I'll leave you alone…maybe." He lips curled impishly.

She hissed at him—actually hissed at him and he had to suppress a chuckle.

"How about we take a walk and talk," he offered. "It's not too sunny outside." He even threw in a dimpled smile for good measure.

She shook her head fiercely and gritted her teeth. "If I were a vampire I would smack that smirk off your pretty face," she growled, obviously not toning anything down.

If he was shocked by her statement he hid it well. Pressing her closer to him by her waist he leaned to her ear and growled, "If you were a vampire I'd throw you down right here for that comment and fuck you till the floor boards break."

She puffed out an indignant breath and smacked him hard on the chest, though it only succeeded in giving her a sore palm. Frustrated and drained of energy she sagged against him in defeat.

~x~

They walked to Central Park hand in hand, and talk they did.

As promised, they did not re-hash the same tired subject of their clandestine relationship. Much to Blair's surprise, Edward wanted to talk to her about vampires.

He told her what its like to be a vampire, the good and the bad, and for once he encouraged her to ask questions.

So she played along, not knowing his motives. She asked him what the worst thing about being a vampire was. The thirst, he admitted; the thirst never truly goes away when you don't feed on humans. She asked him what the best thing was and he gave her that old knowing smirk.

She stopped walking and stood in front of him then. "Oh?" She tilted a dark brow at him somewhat coquettishly and placed a hand on his chest.

He reached up and traced his fingers along her arm, blazing and activating nerve endings she didn't know existed where he touched.

"Every sense we have is heightened tenfold," he told her. "We feel everything intensely; when it's bad, it's agonizing but when it's good..." He blew out a breath and said no more.

They discussed vampirism thusly, as he pulled her into the lower passages of Bethesda and by the arches overlooking the grand fountain.

They sat in the same place Serena had sat when they'd finally had their emotional blow out. How could he know? She'd also come there to think ever since she was a little. When the mood in the house was too tense with disappointment, distrust and unfaithfulness, she sat on that bench. Serena and her had cried together there—they'd renewed there friendship on that spot.

They held hands and for a moment they both just stared out at the park while he absorbed her thoughts silently.

"I want you with me forever Blair and it is the most selfish thing I've ever admitted to myself" he suddenly announced with determination.

You would have thought she'd have seen that one coming, what with the vampire talk and everything, but the implications of that confession shook her inside and out, nonetheless.

"I cannot tell you why now or what has changed but all I know is that you are more essential to me than blood—than anything. I cannot even fathom ever thinking that I could live without you."

Since Blair sensed there was more to it and she said nothing.

"I was…" He stopped himself and released a leaden breath. "Using the beliefs ingrained in me from childhood as an excuse."

She drew a breath.

"I was afraid." His eyes locked on hers.

"What were you afraid of?" she asked with a forcibly neutral voice. She tried to keep her voice casual. Something told her to not to trust it—him sitting there telling her he wanted to change her. It was all too surreal to be true.

"I was afraid of talking you into something you would live to regret and being hated for it."

"I already hate you," her mouth spoke automatically. _Whoa seriously is my mouth possessed by the bitter spirit of jilted love._

His eyes sharpened at her words and in one quick move his fingers were roughly grasping her at her chin.

She gasped, or she would have if she could move her jaw, at his sudden show of...violence?

His eyes bored into her with thinly veiled fury. "Blair, don't say things you don't mean. I won't have it."

He was right. Her eyes fell from his in shame and his hand fell away from her mouth. "You're right. I don't hate you." _God knows how I try. _

She didn't even know why she said these things.

"You want to hurt me because I hurt you, is it?" he murmured gently though his words were accusatory.

Her mind immediately went to their little scuffle back at his apartment. She had hurt him. She could see it in his eyes. Something had changed. The usually staid Edward seemed raw and vulnerable…like her. It was like she had reduced him to her level.

Did it make her happy to see her beloved so heartbroken…possibly a little bit.

"Jesus Christ," he suddenly hissed. He pulled her to him abruptly and held her face in his cool hands. "Blair, tell me right now if you don't want me. Because I swear to God if you don't right now I'll never be able to leave you alone."

His Adams apple bobbed up and down rapidly as he talked and she stared at it dopily for good while, suddenly harassed by memories of kissing and licking him there—and certainly not paying his outburst any mind.

"Christ, Blair you're frustrating. You know that," he hissed when she never answered his question.

There was something about seeing him like this that emboldened her.

"Am I stressing you out, Mr. Cullen?" she chided when his hands fell from her face.

"_Yes_."

"Good." She smirked at him cheekily and batted her lashes up at him for good measure. She suddenly felt more confident around him than she had been for some time.

All of a sudden she was lifted from her spot so fast the wind caught her hair. She "whooped" and giggled as she was plopped down on his lap while he glowered at her like a naughty child.

"So forceful, Mr. Cullen?" She pouted.

"Seems like that's the only language you understand these days, Waldorf." He growled. "Now stop wiggling in my lap and answer the Goddamn question."

The invisible walls around her heart grew stronger the more stubborn he made her. She gyrated her hips one more time for good measure and took pleasure in the sharp hiss of expletives it drew from his mouth.

"Aren't you supposed to read minds?" She arched one brow challengingly.

"Blair Waldorf," he reprimanded her haughtily, "these childish games might succeed with Chuck but you are tying my patience. It is a simple question, do you want to be with me or not?"

_Schooled._

Her own ego turned against her. And he was absolutely right. She was toying with him and being a cold hearted bitch for doing so. There was a sick sadist inside of her that wanted to squeeze his vulnerable heart in her fist, feeling empowered by his sudden show of neediness as though it made up for the way she felt this morning. Though satisfying, it was beneath them both. Still, why was it so hard for her to confess her feelings to him out loud, when they were both fully dressed?

She let out a slow breath and scooted off his lap—begrudgingly. Plus she couldn't think straight when his erection was throbbing under her like that.

He drew a sharp intake of breath at the sudden loss of contact but said nothing.

"I don't want you to leave," she confessed quietly.

"And what does that mean, Blair?" he asked her patiently.

"I don't know…I'm scared Edward..." She looked away and stared out into the park for awhile.

"Are you afraid because I want to turn you?"

"Yes…it's a lot to think about."

"But you _will _think about it," he clarified.

Blair's gaze snapped to him in astonishment. It was s strange—this needier side of Edward. "You know, you're quite relentless when you want something."

His lips curled into that heartbreaking lopsided smirk. "How do you think I got you in the first place?"

"_Yes _Edward. I will think about it." She shook her head, blushing despite herself.

"Good." His voice changed rather abruptly. "That will give me a reason to kill Vitoria faster."

Victoria? He was still leaving?

"Yes Blair." He took her hands into his and kissed each wrist softly. It was a tender gesture that had always been just theirs. "Alice will stay with you until I get back."

His tone left absolutely zero room for discussion.

_What the hell? _All this talk about feelings and forever and he was still leaving. "Well this sucks!" she whined out loud and threw a pout in because, what the hell?

"Oh hush, Blair you don't know what you want," he chided lightly while pulling her back into his lap and trapping her there with his arms. "A half an hour ago you wanted me off this island."

They sat like that for awhile, her pouting and him deep in thought. The sound of rushing water, barking, and chatter formed a contrasting symphony of humanity against their little supernatural bubble.

After awhile he nudged her lightly and asked her if she was okay. Blair nodded quickly but didn't say anything. She was, he thought, definitely suffering from a delayed reaction to the burden he had just placed on her.

"Talk to me, love," he pleaded. "You know you don't have to make this decision now."

She took a staggered breath. "Pretend I did. Tell me what happens next?"

"Okay." It didn't take him long to realize what she was asking for. He held her tighter in his arms and began to run his fingers along her arm soothingly. "I'll stay here in New York until you graduate."

"Uh huh…" The thought of him staying being in Manhattan with her was a soothing one.

"And then I'll take you to Alaska with me and my family."

She tensed. The sudden image of Sarah Palin, moose, and the Delanie sisters: three things she didn't care for, flashed into her mind.

"It'll only be temporary, Blair," he soothed in his melodic voice.

"Why Alaska?" She was on the precipice of another one of her panic attacks and she needed him to keep talking, he knew.

"Because I intend to change you there," he said in his hypnotic voice as if they were talking about a Caribbean vacation and not her death…or undeath…whatever.

"And you need to be somewhere remote where you can get used to your thirst."

"Ugh." She shuttered against him but he could feel her heartbeat relax. "I hate nature. Did I ever tell you that?"

"I know love." He kissed the top of her head gently. "That's why as soon as you're ready we'll move abroad. There are many overcast cities in Europe, you know.

"Really?" Her mood began to lift. She didn't even know that was possible. She'd always thought of vampires as somewhat wild creatures of the forests. At least, Edward had always been. He loved the open space, running, hunting and other barbaric hobbies that she could never see herself enjoying—even as a vampire.

"But you love the wild. You would give that up for me"

"I'd do anything for you, Blair. Anything that will make you happy will be yours, do you understand?" He pressed a serious look upon her that anchored her down a bit.

Something told her those words implicated much more than just location. This was so surreal. She still couldn't believe she was sitting in Central Park calmly discussing her possible vampirism.

"Tell me more," she pressed, getting a bit excited, while snuggling into him.

Her warmth spread over to him, so did her high spirits. He found himself grinning.

"As you travel, you'll find vampire society quite more civilized than the few you've encountered of late."

"Really?" Her eyes were dancing all over his face like an excited kid.

He shrugged. "Only young vampires act like that. Older vampires tend to accrue wealth, property, and an appreciation in art and culture, though they have no respect for the humans who create them—there's the paradox."

He had that wry look on his face and Blair rolled her eyes.

"Edward, you're killing the fantasy here," she complained.

He furrowed his brows mulishly and simply told her, "I'm giving you the cold hard facts so that you can make an informed decision, my love."

She hummed as if she wasn't really taking him seriously, which she probably wasn't. She knew it all would dawn on her later which was fine. As if graduating high school and trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life wasn't enough…she was going to have to choose between her friends and everything she'd known and something she still didn't understand. All for a boy. An infuriating, stubborn, beautiful boy. Yeah, it was going to hit her hard later.

"Suppose I say no?" she asked lightly, still reveling in his shirt. Why did he always smell so good?

He blew out a breath as if her statement hit him hard. She meant to tell him that she wasn't necessarily saying no but he cut her to the quick. "Then I will leave you to live your life…in theory."

_In theory?_

"This is your choice and I don't want to…pressure you. But I know me staying away from you really never works out." He chuckled wryly.

"True," she mused, smirking up at him impishly. "So you want me to be your mate, hmm?"

His breath hitched. "My God, Blair if you only knew…" His mouth sought hers.

She kissed him with just as much gusto as he was giving her and she didn't care that they were in a public place.

"Marry me, Blair." His hushed request against her skin caused her to reel back and gawk at him abruptly.

_WhatthefuckdidIjusthear? _In response to her complete and utter shock he ducked his head sheepishly.

"I don't even…I can't even…" She sputtered, shaking her head, and then holding her hand up. "What the hell, Edward. Do vampires not know how to segue into things?" She demanded in a high pitched voice. Her mind partly refused to absorb his request.

He nodded, looking slightly abashed yet said in an highly affected manner, "Hey, speaking of eternal commitments, want to get married?"

Well, this was definitely a face palm moment if there ever was one. The socialite closed her eyes, sighed exaggeratedly, "_vampires_".

While her eyes were closed she didn't notice that he had moved to his knees before her and when she opened them she gave a start. There was suddenly a very sincere looking vampire kneeling before her with an open turquoise box in his hand—with an exquisite princess cut diamond and platinum ring inside.

"Oh mother of God!" she gasped and put her hand to her mouth.

"Blair Cornelia Waldorf," he said with no small amount of mirth in his honey eyes, "I know I've given you a great deal of things to think about but it would make me considerably happy if you would consider becoming my wife."

_Gah._

Her eyes zigzagged back and forth between him and the ring for a long time. The ring was absolutely her, down to the powder blue Tiffany's box it was snuggled in. But he knew that. She kept waiting for him to smirk or laugh of give any indication that he was joking but he didn't.

"I-I…" She began to stammer but then he leaned upward and began to kiss her senseless.

If she were to catalogue all of his kisses, which she did, this kiss was a campaign. It started soft and sweet, but as he moved to the bench side her, his lips began to tempt and coax hers, playing with their boundaries. She opened for him and his tongue artfully plundered her mouth, all the while rubbing his thumb leisurely under the swell of her breast.

Vampire or no, the boy could kiss—and she was beginning to lose context.

She reeled back and stared at him dazedly. Her eyes searched his face for answers.

"Say yes," he rasped and pulled her back into his arms wherein he started up his campaign again. On her neck this time, he started tracing his lips against her tender flesh pleadingly, conjuring up images of Friday night. "I swear to God I'll spend eternity making you happy, giving everything I can give."

"No…"

"No?" He pulled back and stared at her.

"I mean…" she shook her head in attempt to arrange her thoughts. "When did you…?"

"Always," he told her. "I planned to ask you after your 18th birthday."

"B-but why?"

"Because I love you," he stated calmly. "And because I want you to take my name and I want to you to call me husband."

"I want…"

"What do you want, love?" He drew close to her again.

"I don't know…" She shook her head.

"Yes, you do." He placed a soft kiss on the edge of her lips then pulled away. "But I'll be merciful." He smiled. "Let's get you home."

"Home?" The outrage was blatant on her face.

He nodded. "I've got a flight to catch and you have something thinking to do."

Her mind was so heavy burdened he felt sorry for her as he led her on the short walk back to her uptown townhouse. He really felt as if he was throwing her to the wolves and offering no assistance whatsoever. But this was her life and her decision to make, though it was pained to feel so utterly powerless on the matters that directly affected his own happiness. She held his heart and his future in her hands.

"I really need to get going."

They both stood precariously on opposite sides of her threshold. Despite his words he leaned on the frame of the door and she did the same.

"But I'm all alone…Dorota's probably out running errands by now." Blair pouted.

"Alice left the island to feed but she'll be back soon enough," he informed her in a stuttering breath. She knew her pout always got to him.

"Alright," she sighed dramatically.

She was absolutely killing him and she knew it.

"Don't give me that look," Edward growled to which the socialite responded by puckering her lips more. And her big dough eyes flickered up at him despondently.

It was utterly unfair for something so devious to look to innocent.

Grumbling under his breath, he pulled his phone from his pocked and glanced at it. With sigh of resolution, he swooped into the house and snatched her into his arms so that she was straddling his torso.

She giggled as the rush of movement left her feeling lightheaded. Vaguely in the lengthening distance she saw the door shut itself and heard the beep as the security system activated.

"Which room?" He growled in her ear which was unnecessary because he pushed them into her bedroom before she could answer and tossed her onto her bed.

"Blair," he purred when she wasted no time unbuttoning his shirt and flinging the thing away from them then attacking his pants like they offended her. He stilled her suddenly fixed her with a look of severity. "If any man touches you while I'm gone, he's dead, do you understand me?"

Her jaw slackened and she looked affronted. Please. Edward did _not _own her.

_Yeah but he's in the process of acquiring you. You know, like an acquisition…as in mergers & acquisitions as in…_

_Oh my effing God, I get it, shut the hell up!_

Of course Edward was looking down at her like she was crazy.

She let out an aggravated breath. This could go two ways; she could snap back at him with something tart and start a fight or…

She lips peeled into an innocent little smile and she gave her best "Who me?" expression to date.

"Well played, Waldorf." Her smile morphed into a kittenish smirk. "Blair you are a handful and half…"

"Edward…" She pressed her hand against his chest entreatingly. "Please."

With that, he finished divesting them both of their clothing, and drew her into a searing kiss that had her thighs shaking with anticipation.

He made love to her, slow and sweet, holding her in his arms and telling her how he loved her and needed her. He claimed her as his with his lips, his tongue, his words, bringing her to rapture before finally sinking himself into her and ravishing her like sex starved inmate.

If she had issued moving around for next few days, she would know who to curse.

At some point she had told him she loved him back and it was everything he needed. One day, he promised himself, he would earn her trust enough for her to let her guard down and say it freely.

The sunlight poured over her childhood room as he watched her sleeping peacefully beside him. Everything in her room, he mused, was soft and sweet, like her.

A year ago this room was his life, all feminine frills because a beautiful girl had imperialized his sterile world with pastel and drama. It was hard for him to admit that he'd taken her for granted then.

He had been an ungrateful cad and he was a fool to think that he could live without her.

It wasn't until she'd stood up to him this weekend and firmly turned him down that he realized how much he'd subconsciously thought that she would always be there for him.

Everything he'd ever told her was bullshit. He never wanted her to move on.

He was kidding himself to think the he could be so selfless.

~x~

"Blair, sweetheart, I have to go." A cool hand was stroking her arm.

"Hmm?" She groggily opened her eyes to find Edward fully dressed. Instinctively she made a sound of protest and tried to sit up, but he held her still.

"Don't fight me, Blair. I love you." His voice was gentle and he dipped down to her level and gave her the briefest of kisses.

Then he placed that Tiffany's box on her bedside table pointedly. "Think this over while I'm gone?"

Blair sat up claimed his lips again. The sheets slid away from her so that she could feel his stone body against her chest.

"Aren't you going to tell me to be careful or something like that?" He asked against her lips.

She frowned thoughtfully.

"I guess I just don't think of you as vulnerable when it comes to fighting." He grinned. "You can take that one right to the head, Cullen."

"If you keep stroking my ego like this, my head won't fit through the door." He appeared to be actively dimming his smile.

Oh yeah, that one definitely went to the head.

She licked her lips. "In that case, come back to bed, and let me stroke your ego some more."

His mouth fell open like it had lead in it and he let out a panting breath. Then he looked up to the ceiling and swore an oath to God under his breath.

Blair chuckled in amusement.

Edward sighed. "Alright love, I have to get going."

"Alright…" Blair tried not to sound like a needy brat.

He leaned in and touched his lips to her forehead this time, not trusting himself near her lips, lest he get pulled in again.

"I'll let myself out, okay?" He dragged his fingers through her curls lightly and pulled away.

~x~

After Edward left, Blair stared at the ring in the open box for about fifteen minutes, thinking of how empty the room felt without him there.

It took all that time for the weight of the decision before the settle over her.

Yet, surprisingly she didn't freak out.

She knew it was Edward and it would always be Edward—and after making love with him _twice, _she was pretty damn sure sex would anybody else would just be a colossal letdown. _Bastard. _

But was mind-blowing sex and the love of her life enough to give up her friends, her family, her modicum of fame, and not least of all, her life?

_Not to mention sleep, food, and babies. _The socialite frowned.

But then again she'd be eternally young, have more beauty than she'd ever dreamed, and she was pretty sure vampires didn't have fucked up eating disorders.

Then again…blood. _Ew. _

Thankfully her phone ended that disturbing image.

"Hey S, how's South Beach?" Blair greeted her friend oh so brightly.

"Hey B, how's_ Edward_?" Serena mocked her friend's chipper greeting, accusingly.

"Hmm?" Blair began to toy with the box absentmindedly while her brain conjured up images of white dresses and 'I do's'. The fantasy of being Edward's bride wasn't new. Blair was pretty sure she'd had more than a few similar daydreams and in his proximity, embarrassingly enough.

If this was simply a matter of marriage then her decision really would've been quite simple…

"_Blair_," S warned, drawing her out of her reverie.

Blair sighed wistfully. "Oh you know, same old story. Boy shows up into town unannounced and leaves shortly after."

"So the rumor is true. You really did spent the weekend together," she deduced quietly.

"Really S, shouldn't you be under your 3rd lifeguard by now," Blair chided without malice.

"As a matter of fact, a cute lifeguard asked me out today."

"_Serena,_" Blair scoffed censoriously, "A hot lifeguard is like Kleenex, use once then throw away."

"Hmm I guess I can say the same thing about 'a hot ex'," Serena chided. Her tone was vaguely judgmental.

_What? _How _dare _she compare Edward to her cheap flings? "No, _my _'hot ex' is like a vintage pair of sunglasses. A perfect accessory for any season."

"Wow. Aren't we defensive of our little flings? So Blair, are you going to be putting out every time Edward feels like dropping into down to play with your emotions?"

"Don't you dare talk about Edward like that," Blair countered hotly. "You don't even know him like that."

"A. You talk smack about Dan all the time and B. I'm just paraphrasing your own words to you," Serena explained in a conciliatory voice.

"What! When did I say that?" Blair demanded indignantly.

"All the time," Serena calmly answered. "Like last week when you went into a whole spiel about him having with too much fine print."

Hmm…take off the "print" and she had that statement correct. She fell back into her bed with a satisfied moan. She sheets smelled of him. Fantastic.

"Anyway I thought the whole reason you couldn't come to Miami was because you had to play wife with Chuck for one his charity events this weekend, hmm?"

The guilt of fleeing him Saturday night came back to her. She really owned him more than that. And this morning weighed heavily in her mind.

There were two completely different boys offering her different worlds. It should have felt more like a love triangle but it didn't. Her heart knew whom she loved.

Her heart knew whom she loved.

"Chuck wasn't too broken up about it," she sighed out, allowing herself to be drawn from her thoughts. "He asked me to be his real girlfriend…"

She decided to neglect the fact that he'd told her he loved her and she had broken his heart on account of not being over Edward. That would've sent Serena on the first flight out of Miami.

"Chuck what?" There was a fumbling noise that went on for a couple seconds. "That's good right. That's what you've always wanted. A nice functional relationship," Serena breathed when she had come out of shock.

She definitely wouldn't have used 'nice and functional' to describe whatever the hell she had with Chuck.

But still… If it wasn't Chuck it would be someone else…

What if she made the same mistake her father made. What if she opted for a normal safe relationship because she was afraid of losing everything she knew? She thought of the years he spent denying a part of himself and suffering in silent misery unbeknownst to her. Not that she could forgive him for skipping town with his mistress…er mister.

Would she view her future husband and children with contempt because she didn't fly off to Neverland in her teens when she had the chance?

Live forever with Edward? That territory of the great unknown was so terrifying and yet enthralling.

If she chose her own life, she knew exactly what was laid out for her. If she chose him, she had no clue what to expect from…forever.

With all her internal musings she never noticed that she had removed the ring from its aquamarine box and began to circle her fingers around it idly.

Her friend's sharp voice snapped her back to the present. "Are you there!"

"Mhmm…listen S…"

Serena sighed dramatically. "Fine, we'll talk later."

"Okay. Take care…" Her voice was automatic.

Blair hung up the phone was struck with the realization of three things:

She was wearing Edward's enjoyment ring. She must have slipped in on her finger while lost in her thoughts.

She _liked _it. The beautiful classic ring fit her dainty finger perfectly. She loved the way it looked on her hand, as if it belonged there, and she loved the way wearing it made her feel, as if belonged to someone.

There was absolutely certain that she wasn't going to take that ring off—ever.

And then she felt a dull ache at the base of her head which was quickly followed by a complete loss of feeling in her limbs and finally the room went black.

~x~

The two intruders might have done their research on the socialite, but the fact that she was an avid fan of the opera must've been left off of her file, because they failed to realize that the girl in the vegetated state understood Italian fluently.

"The girl has been bitten, you think?" The cold sterile voice of a young woman asked in Italian—a very familiar voice. "Well? What are you smiling about?"

"I was thinking along the lines of something a bit more amorous." A deeper voice replied.

"_È ridicolo_!" The woman exclaimed. "_Pero…_There have been _others_ in this room. I can smell."

"The girl consorts with vampires…amorously." The man snickered. "I don't even want her blood; she smells so much like venom."

"_Supido," _the girl cursed.

"This is hilarious. I really can't wait to tell him of this."

"_Silenzio! _Now, let us cover her up and get moving."

"We have been given instructions not to be cruel. Don't you think he will be angry if I do not release her?"

"She is dangerous."

The man laughed. "If you're so afraid of a little human, cover her mouth."

There was silence and finally the man said, "_Fine, _I see I am to be blamed for everything."

Then suddenly it was as if someone had flipped a switch on in her brain. Instantly when her eyesight and the sensations in her body returned, she realized that she was lying in bed, half naked, with masking tape crudely slapped over her mouth and two pairs of crimson eyes staring back at her. She recognized them immediately from the hospital and panicked, drawing her sheets up to her neck and darting her eyes back and forth between them fiercely.

"Good afternoon Miss. Blair Waldorf," the boy with the strangely mature voice began in accented English. "I trust you remember us, yes?"

Obviously she couldn't answer back. She began to wiggle her lips uncomfortable against the tape which caused the strawberry blonde to sharpen her glare. She pinned her with a share so harsh, Blair stilled instantly for fear of her own life and gazed at the raven haired boy piteously.

He smiled at her kindly and she felt her heartbeat relax. She assessed the two. They were indeed the same impeccably dressed, undead, adolescents that she'd seen kill Bart Bass a month ago and if she were to go by the eerily silent unrelenting glare coming from the petite one, they were probably here to finish her off.

"We are here on behalf of our boss." The boy continued to smile at her benignly. "He acquires rare and valuable things, Miss Waldorf."

Blair didn't think it was possible but the girl's glare sharpened even more. There was a strangely familiar gleam in the young girl's eye—jealously—of what, Blair could not understand.

"Now I will turn around and give you a moment to dress yourself." He turned his back gallantly to her as he said this. Unfortunately that deranged looking porcelain doll was still knifing her with her eyes.

With no small amount of martyrdom, Blair reached for her dress; it was strewn under the sheets. Then she tried fumbled with the sheer wrap dress while attempting to ignore the creepy unblinking red eyes.

_How is it that Edward is NEVER here for these things?_

She grunted through the tape when she was decent because, quite frankly, she felt more comfortable knowing that the boy was watching her and not just that psychopathic doll.

He spun around and clapped his hands together. "Well done, _signorina. _Will you continue to behave?"

She nodded slowly because, really, what else could she do?

"Excellent. Then I trust you understand you are not to so much as yawn if I show you kindness and remove the tape from your mouth."

"That is," he shot a teasing look at the blonde, "If Jane here is not too afraid."

"Fuck you, Alec," she spat and shifted her harsh gaze away from Blair for the first time.

_Here we go again…_

* * *

Footnote:

1. Woohoo we're getting down to the nitty gritty. Finally! Did you guys enjoy the reappearance of Alec and Jane?

2. R.I.P. Team Chuck. It's been a great run but you cant fight true love

3. Welcome aboard, Edward's balls! Way to take charge and go for what you want! Discuss

4. Engagement rings from Tiffany's. Nuff said.

5. Dream sequences and classic film references. Did u guys enjoy that little bit?

6. "F-ing" Alice and her manipulations.


	20. Knight at the Piazza

**Mood Music:**

**Complicated- Rihanna**

**Simon Says-Pharaoh Monch**

**Nessun Durma- Pavarotti**

**Note: Sooo much to explain in the footnote. Sorry for the delay guys. Really!**

**AN: So I wrote most of this last year while listening to that old Simon Says rap song. Something about the beat just completely fleshed out my idea of the Volturi; baddass fly immortals with a mafia mentality. While in Florence I actually leaned a lot about the history of the Mafia in Italy and how they still have their hands in everything in Italy today—even the Vatican. Italy has this rich history of these clannish gangs—and they hate the idea of royalty. I came home with this grand idea in my mind of these immortal mobsters.**

~x~

Wow.

Her eyes were wide with awe as she watched the beautiful Florentine city go by in the window. The crystal blue sea constantly peaked at her through wash of sienna stone and red terra cotta roof tops. The car took them up through the ancient narrow streets of the city that seemed to sweep upwards forming a mountain of brick and stone.

By the time they reached to apex of the hill, Blair was swarming around the backseat trying to get a better view out of Alec's window.

Alec chuckled though his sister only growled from the passenger seat. He seemed generally amused by Blair and her antics. She was acting more like an excited tourist than a hostage.

But Blair's mind was not on hostages or danger. She was in Italy. _Italy!_Italy was for _pleasure_not punishment!

Who could think of those things when she was in a beautifully medieval village in sunny Florence, literally overlooking the clear azure coast? Who wouldn't want to be _Taken_here? _Gah!_Looks like she was getting her Spring Break after all.

When the Mercedes pulled into the gated courtyard of a large stone palazzo, Blair swore she heard the dulcet voice of Pavarotti singing _Nessun Dorma_in her head.

The driver let them out and you would think Blair would be staring at the two vampires now glittering like diamonds under the Tuscan sun, but she only had eyes for the palazzo with its archways and crowned widows and the tower at the top. She smiled wistfully.

A girl doesn't get rescued from a place like this…she gets recued _to_it.

"_Buongiorno signorina_Woool-dor-f," a melodic yet heavily accented voice chimed. Blair turned and saw a woman—a human; she had dark olive skin and bright green eyes. She was wearing a grey pant suit with a deep V-neck blazer that accentuated her tall and skinny frame with giant Dolce sunglasses atop her honey colored curls. "My name is Gianna and I will take you to your room. _Mio dio,_you look hungry and tired! Where are your bags?"

_Bags? My room? I have a room here?_

"Lets not spare her any luxuries at our expense until she proves herself useful, Gianna," Jane cut in, looking at Gianna as if she were a speck of dirt on her shoe. "She could very well end up as lunch."

Blair was so hungry that the only thing she got from that exchange was "lunch". _Yes please!_

Gianna stared back at nasty Jane coolly. "My orders come from Aro, not the guard," she told her snootily then spun around on her ridiculously high gladiator heels. "Come _signorina._Lets get you nice a cleaned up."

"Um…" Blair was caught in an awkward hostage situation where she didn't have a clear cut view of the pecking order and subsequently didn't know who to listen to. Obviously her gut instincts told her that Jane was the powerful one, yet Gianna carried herself with an air of importance…and she was pretty sure she would at least get some breakfast out of her.

"And let's see about getting you something to eat…"

Yep. _Peace out vamps._

Blair was at her heels in an instant, shadowing her into the halls of the palazzo. They walked down a rather long coroner lined with arched windows letting in airy sunlight through the vaulted halls. Their heels clicked and echoed on the marble floor.

Gianna drew a cell phone and started dictating rapidly in Italian.

"Si Vincenzo. Go to that baker down the street and get the girl something to eat. And coffee." She paused and glanced backwards at Blair. "How do you like the coffee?"

"Americano."

Gianna smiled and continued her conversation. Blair did not anticipate there being an elevator at the end of the hall. Who mars a historic palace with a modern eye sore? Then again, when did vampires ever make sense?

They rode the lift to another window lined floor and Gianna paused in front of a glossy wooden door. "I am going to find you something suitable to wear," she glanced over Blair's rumpled Dior dress disapprovingly the opened the heavy door. "Until then, please feel free to bathe and freshen up. I will be back with your breakfast shortly."

With that, she turned on her heels and went clicking down the hall like she was the Secretary of State.

The room was small yet nicely decorated with a freshly made bed and huge window overlooking a massive garden. There was lots of dark wood and deep red fabric against the aged stone walls and it would've looked quite medieval if it wasn't for the sunshine illuminating every inch of the room.

Since she really didn't have any energy to fight, she did exactly what she was told. The bathroom was equally as inviting and it was stocked with every necessary toiletry including clean white robe and a shiny clawfoot tub right in front of a large open window. Since showering in the antique was not an option, she patiently drew a warm bath and settled into the water with a moan of appreciation.

As the light hit the engagement ring on her finger, Blair sighed with determination. She accepted that she had no control over her current situation but what she could change was the way she handled it. She was in Italy, in a beautiful Italian villa overlooking acres of vineyards and the tall spindle shaped cypress trees: the perfect fairytale setting.

She had to believe that somehow Edward would find her; he always did. And when he did… _What a freaking amazing place to tell him!_

Maybe it was the 9 hour flight, the jetlag, or the fact that all she'd consumed was a mimosa in the past 24 hours, but she was suddenly very excited.

When Gianna did return she found Blair in her robe gazing out of the window.

"You like it here?"

Blair tensed as she startled her then squealed in excitement. A very handsome man in a dark suit was holding what appeared to be coffee and breakfast while Gianna was laying clothing out on the bed.

The man glanced at her and gave a brief smile then he bowed, muttered, "_Scusi bella,"_and showed himself out. _Definitely human._

Forget the clothes. Blair practically threw herself into her trey which contained some array of bread and cured meats.

Gianna appraised the girl merrily then sat beside her on the bed. "Do you know where you are?"

"Florence?"

"Close. You're in a very old village called Volterra."

_Okay. Thanks for the geography lesson. Chomp. Chomp. Chomp._

"Do you know about the Volturi?"

Blair took a sip of her coffee contemplatively. She did hear their name in conversation.

"They're like vampire royalty?" she guessed.

"_Ma no!"_She giggled, looking at her like she'd used the wrong fork at dinner. "That's not a very popular word around here," she warned.

"They would rather compare themselves to the mafia than royalty, though they go back several centuries before them—the mafia, that is. No, the Volturi are the oldest vampires on earth."

"Oh." That was pretty interesting.

"The Volturi are a small family. Everyone else is their guard and they maintain order for vampires and only sometimes dabble in human affairs. Do you know there was a vampire pope once?"

Wow. They sure didn't teach her that in her catholic school. _Won't Headmistress be surprised?_

"Pay no mind to the guard. I work for Aro—and occasionally his brothers Caius and Marcus. Sulpicia and Athenodora are Aro and Caius' mates—but they're likely to be found at a shoe store or art auction than here calling out orders." She smiled. "No one else can touch you without any of their permission."

Blair scooted her tray away from her and tried to process the torrent of information coming at her rapidly. "So…why exactly am I here?"

"You made an impression on Jane and Aro always has intuition for these things," she answered. "Aro has the power to know every thought you've ever had just by touching you."

"Wait!" Something finally clicked. "You guys don't think I'm…special…magical or whatever do you? Because I can assure you I am most certainly not dangerous in any way."

Completely brushing her off, Gianna chimed in with, "I'll tell you a story. You've met Jane and Alec, the twins."

"Twins?" There was no way Alec and Jane were the same age. _But anyway, this must be it._ Why else would Alec have kept insisting Jane thought she was dangerous? What did they think they saw in her? What was it with vampires thinking she was special? Edward, James, Marc, now them.

Gianna nodded gravely. "They were once orphans in northern England in the early 17th century. Witches well known for their healing; they used herbs and roots to do anything from dulling pain to inducing labor."

"But that's not really magic?" Blair interjected.

Gianna smiled kindly. "Back then it was and when Aro heard a rumor of this, he sent a spy to the village to observe them. But when the spy came back to Italy and told him that the village was planning on burning them at the stake, Aro left Volterra and went there personally—it was his first time leaving in centuries. He got there just as they were shrouded in flames and he rescued them. Then he slaughtered the entire village."

"Wow…"

"He bit them himself and when they awoke, Jane had to power to inflict unimaginable pain to even vampires and Alec can take away pain…and the senses."

_Okay then my sudden paralysis makes sense now._

"Do you suppose they could do these things as mere humans, no? They were just children with cheap parlor tricks but Aro saw something more—a rage that grew inside them as he watched them burn. Just as he might see something in you."

"So you think that's the case with me?" Blair eyed the woman warily.

She shrugged. "We shall see."

After that Gianna made her pick one of the 4 dresses laid out for her. Suddenly feeling defiant, Blair chose the designer that wasn't Italian and opted for the blue and white bustier sundress from Louis Vuitton. But she could not escape the Guiseppe strappy heels.

There were three rapt knocks at the heavy door and suddenly Gianna began to move about nervously. She practically hauled Blair towards the door with her as she opened it.

The man standing at the door was neither beautiful nor threatening in appearance, though he was undoubtedly dead. His skin was an almost translucent pale with contrastingly dark curly hair that dusted his narrow shoulders. He must have turned somewhere in his late forties. He had a stylish flair about him that reminded her a bit of a less handsome Armand, her father's boyfriend. He wore a spectacularly tailored Italian suit with a gold chain and small hoop earrings. He wore a crest on his breast pocket of some ancient symbol and satin red tie that matched his wine colored eyes.

"_Bonjourno mia bella._" His voice was eccentric but kind and his killer eyes danced with mirth as they assessed the dumbstruck socialite. He extended his hand. "So nice to finally meet you."

_He has the power to know every thought you've ever had just by touching you._

~x~

It went against her very high bred nature to be impolite and ignore his extended hand though she did for fear alone. Aro appeared to be unshaken by her apparent rudeness and mumbled a few words in Italian to Gianna before motioning for her to join him. There was a power about him that was understated, yet it was exuded and Blair could not ignore his request.

She fell into his side, sauntering down the long corridor. The indirect light through the windows cast a soft glow on his translucent skin though it didn't outright sparkle. Though Blair felt curious about the eccentric stranger walking silently at her side. Aro decided to spark up a conversation that completely threw her.

"If anyone was to mate with and become affianced to a human it would be Edward," he mused aloud and not particularly to her though it succeeded in reaching its target. Blair stumbled forward then looked at him in shock.

_How?_ He didn't touch her…she was sure of it. And she made sure not to let anything slip…_How does he know?_

"You're wondering of course how I know that that ring on your finger belongs to Carlisle's progeny. You think I've read your mind, I have not," he added in an offhanded manner. "It is perhaps unknown to you that Edward and I are well acquainted. I know his mind and," he turned and looked at her pointedly, "I know his scent as well."

"He'll come for me," she practically stammered out. Her face became flush with embarrassment and dread.

"Yes. Yes." Aro waved a dismissive hand. "But maybe," he stopped walking and extended his hand to her, his eyes gleaming wickedly, "the damsel won't want to be rescued."

He extended his whole sleeved hand to her in dark expectation. "Now if you please."

~x~

She braced herself as her hand timidly grasped his cool and almost fragile flash, anticipating an electric current that never came. It was over before it begun; his hands instantly fell from hers and she opened her eyes, blinking rapidly.

"That's all it takes?"

Aro offered her a very amused chuckle. "Anticlimactic, isn't it?"

Blair had to nod in agreement. "So now that you know I'm not special or gifted, will let me go home? You know, of course, that my fiancé will change me, right?"

"I suppose you are quite regular, indeed." He cast an eye out the window wistfully. "Except of course that little quirk."

His visage suddenly became very grave. "You have a natural talent for manipulating people."

A part of her wanted to preen with pride. Yes, of course; she's always known that. But she was mostly confused. "But that's not a power?"

"Power?" he scoffed. "What power could human possibly posses! Only Gods have power, not mice!"

"But you…Gianna…I thought?"

"What you have is a cheap parlor trick, _mia bella_" he interrupted abruptly. "When I touch you for a moment and absorb every memory of your life, _that_ is a power, signorina."

Blair was utterly confused. She had never insinuated that she had any sort of power. She was pretty sure she didn't even have any tricks to pull, at that. Was he telling her that her sly craftiness and ability bend people to her will were a magic trick? Was he also insane? Did he think humans were so far beneath him that their ability for artfulness must be a special ability?

"_Bella_, you look confused," he mused in his quaint Italian accent.

Though he was not handsome, he was exquisitely polished from his Balenciaga suit to his Botegga shoes. He exuded power and danger under his charming Italian veil. Blair had the distinct feeling that he was toying with her and yet… He was fascinating.

He stalked over to an open window and gazed out of it reflectively. He angled towards her as if inviting her to follow suit. She hesitantly stepped beside him and gazed out at the lovely palazzio garden. The spindle cypress trees and carefully manicured bushes formed a patterned walkway.

The first thing Blair noticed was the loud laughter and splashing around a rushing fountain. She had to squint to discern the dancing light were two naked women, playfully kicking and flicking water at each other inside the fountain. They were both tall and pale, save for the prism like texture of their skin reflecting in the light, with red hair that spun in curls down to their knees. The laughter succinctly stopped, and as if they sensed her stare, they stilled and stared unwaveringly in her direction. Blair swallowed her dread and took a careful step away from the window.

"I don't understand why you brought me here." She shot him a fearful side glance, thinking that Jane was right. Maybe she _was_here for lunch.

His eyes finally broke away from the window and he turned to her. "You're here because you're too valuable not to know your potential, _mia bella._"

She was getting aggravated. Either she was an insignificant human or she wasn't!

"You are an intelligent girl, I know. Perhaps you can even solve this mystery yourself." He was looking far too amused at her discomfiture for her liking.

Blair attempted to quell the look on her face from morphing into one of annoyance. Obviously Aro was not the kind of person to appreciate any show of insolence from her. She kept picturing herself on his dinner plate.

"A girl who grows up with a silver spoon in her mouth, at four learns that she can pout those little lips of hers and get anything she wants. She learns at thirteen to be a tyrant who uses fear and intimidation," he mused out loud while she listened, partly fascinated by his assessment of her upbringing and outraged at it.

"Several vampires have tried to kill you now, and though I have not seen into all of their minds, I have seen one…Jane's mind was set and then suddenly there was a blip in her thoughts," he flourished his hand theatrically, "And blank. The absence of intention and suddenly, 'no please don't'" His eyes bored into hers unrelentingly until she understood.

"The hospital?" she gasped, barely understanding what she was admonishing. "Are you saying _I?_"

"You have a way with words, especially when you are in a heightened state of anxiety._"_ His eyes flared.

Blair shook her head. _This man is delusional._ "No."

Aro shrugged, looking unruffled by her denial. "The Cullens know and of course your Edward has known for some time now as well."

If Aro would've been able to anticipate the look of absolute shock, fear, and disillusionment that crossed her features, he would have gotten to that point sooner. Finding the chink in her armor he added, "That is, of course, why he constantly warned you to be careful with what you say."

"It is," he mused, "Impossible to know for sure without seeing into his mind, but I believe Edward has experienced your influence a number of times, quite recently actually." He suddenly broke out into hysterical laughter. "Blair it must be impossible to argue with you when you're telling him to 'shut up,' 'stop' and 'don't follow'. Like an obedient little lapdog actually."

Blair's wary eyes wavered away as a flicker of doubt blazed through her mind.

"Ahk! This is taking too long," Aro suddenly exclaimed, trolling her thoughts back to the surface. "Let's get to the fun part!"

Aro countenance transformed from stoic and authoritative to a knavish child unable to keep from opening his Christmas present.

"_Mio bella,_you win!" He giggled hysterically while she wondered what exactly she had just garnered. "You would _think_that one my age would possess more patience but alas, I admit it; I cannot delay your surprise another minute!"

At this point there was nothing this fabulous yet deranged tyrant could say to surprise her. Thinking her surprise was likely a chalice to pour her own blood into, Blair could hardly supply more than an exhausted, "what surprise?"

"Think of it as a much belated birthday present." His grin was sickening blithe. "To make up for the presents….or lack thereof from Edward. Ahahaha."

_Ouch._Just when she thought she had forgiven him. A pang of malice cut into her fast and deep as her mind wondered into the haunted halls of memories of months alone in Forks.

Aro was the only person in the world who knew that Blair spent her birthday parked outside of the abandoned Cullen manner in tears because she foolishly thought that her ex boyfriend would magically reappear for the sake of her 18th birthday.

_Mean old bastard._Blair narrowed her eyes at Aro who feigned ignorance of what he was doing to her. Not that Blair blamed him; he just made her realize that perhaps she wasn't ready to forgive and forget after all.

"_Bella_ you will be the absolute death of me, standing here with this reproachful expression." He smiled a bit at his own pun then pouted. "Are you not at least a bit curious to see what Aro has in store for you?"

"Unless your surprise is that you booked Coldplay for my funeral, no."

"Americans have no imagination!" He shook his head in disappointment. "What surprise would there be in killing you _mia bella._.."

"Now come. If we hurry we won't miss trial."

"Am I on trial?"

"Not today, _bella._You look so much more like a Bella, no?" he mused. "Blair is such a _harsh_ name. I think I'll call you Bella from now on."

Blair shrugged off her new nickname like an unwanted Christmas sweater but didn't say anything. It wasn't as if he hadn't been calling her that name all along. _From now on?_

_Bella_followed the confounding little man to the same elevator she had ridden with Gianna but this time it took them down, way down, to hell perhaps, Blair thought restlessly as she struggled to remind herself that she was not the one on trial.

Aro didn't speak again. He led her through another maze of corridors and then halted outside of a metal double door.

Blair's heart sped up as she waited every muscle tense, but he captured her eyes reassuringly and smiled.

"You are strong, _mia bella_. Remember that," he said and Blair stared back at him anxiously, silently urging him to open the door already.

"You have been cosseted for far too long, held back by those who claim to know what's best for you _Blair,_ and do you know why?"

His bright red eyes blazed into hers expectantly.

Blair scrambled to piece his words together in a way that made sense in her mind. She was strong and they? Her mother? Her friends…no—clearly he meant the Cullens…Edward, was keeping her under their thumb.

"Um…no?" she squeaked.

"Because you are shark and they are dolphins in an amusement park." He sniggered at his little joke then turned serious again.

"You were always meant to rule, to have power." He stared into her eyes as each word hit their mark somewhere deep inside of her. "And there is a part of you that will never be content until that is realized, that is why they fear you. That is why they keep you caged, and that is why they will never make you happy."

She gasped, feeling affronted and yet wildly taken aback by his heady insight. She processed his words, she processed them over and over in her mind, trying to make sense of why he was telling her this and why it made her feel the strange way it did; miserable, lost, and yet strangely found.

"Now!" He clapped his hands loudly, making her jump a bit. "You are ready for your surprise. Be careful though, I will not protect you from whatever lies behind these doors."

She gasped, her face melting into terror. He had tricked her. He was leading her to her death after all.

"You will have to protect yourself bella, and for the record, I am cheering for _you_."

Before she could scream he brought his arm around her waist and pulled her through the doors where the first thing that assaulted her ears was a piercing wretched scream.

~x~

The scream was joined by another; Blair screamed as she laid eyes on the feral, dark eyed redhead in front of her. Victoria.

Blair tried to run, but Aro stiffened his hold on her and yanked her forward.

Victoria was barely contained by two vampires in dark robes. Her clothing was torn to the point where half her breasts were exposed and she thrashed and growled like a rabid beast.

Her eyes landed on Blair wildly and she screeched like wretched harpy so loud the men holding her winced. "Her! Let me kill her!" she wailed at the robed strangers around them.

Blair vaguely noticed Jane and Alec standing in the circle of cloaked vampires around her.

"Now now Victoria, you have done quite enough," a man, dressed equally as dapperly as Aro strutted towards Victoria and bend down to her level. His skin was a translucent pale like Aro but his hair tumbled over his shoulders like white fur. He looked at her for a long uncomfortable moment and then turned to Blair who was completely paralyzed.

_WTF? WTF? WTF!_

"She's almost as wild as the newborns she created, isn't she?" The man looked at Blair but Aro answered him.

"Blair, this is my brother, Caius, and of course you already know Victoria."

Blair moaned something inarticulately.

"Surprise," Aro shouted. He threw her forward and started clapping.

"This pitiful excuse for a vampire is guilty of recklessly siring and abandoning," Aro illuminated. He pointed to Victoria and accused, "Punishable by the true death and yet you ask for my Blair here?"

"Let me kill her _please,_" Victoria grunted in a low demonic voice and Blair swore the room started spinning. She felt her balance sway a bit and she felt suddenly detached from her body.

"My darling Blair, if you faint now you'll probably never awaken," Aro warned, amusement flagrant in his voice. "Now's not the time for theatrics, _dolce Blair,_surely a shark can face this urchin."

The room wouldn't come into focus.

"Your fear is flagrante Blair; I can smell it on you—delicious. Control it," Aro continued to bark at her while she tottered from side to side on her heels.

When she regained her balance the room seemed to snap in place and she began to view her situation clearer.

She focused on the pale faces around her, all watching her anxiously with curious faces. She noticed the two naked blondes were now cloaked and another younger man who hung back from them regarding her passively along with Jane and Alec. She wondered if this was some sort of vampire coliseum and if she the lowly gladiator facing slaughter for their amusement.

It sickened her. How dare Aro pretend treat her like a guest only to toss her into the ring with this deranged piece of trash? Even Victoria ceased to terrify her as the more she thrashed and screamed, the more it irked Blair's nerves. She had been putting up with Victoria for a whole year and she had had it. She _refused_to cower before the mindless monster any longer. If they thought she was going to be their prime time fix for the evening, they were sorely mistaken; if she was going to die tonight, she was going to make sure none of them were entertained.

She pressed her lips together sternly and gave them all a silent, "forget you."

It all happened quite fast. One moment Aro was sniggering at her side like malevolent little creep and the next she was standing at the center of the room alone staring at Victoria who was also suddenly unattended.

Victoria appeared just as shocked as Blair, staring at her hands and flexing limbs as if she didn't believe they were no longer bound.

That shock didn't last long as the very next thing she did was glance over at Blair, her expression morphed into a victorious gleam.

Blair closed her eyes and prayed that Edward would materialize the same time Victoria leaped high into the air. The marble floor in front of Blair made a loud cracking sound and Blair opened her eyes to Victoria staring at her in the face as she unfurled herself from her sinewy crouch.

Victoria's coal black eyes pierced Blair's own calculatingly for a whole minute it seemed before she dipped her head to one side and told her, "Almost a year trying to kill you and here we are at death's doorstep together."

Blair struggled to remain conscious, finding hope in the thought that Victoria might launch into a villainous tirade that would give Edward enough time to find her.

"M-maybe we should team up?" Blair suggested, only keep Victoria talking. "You take all these vampires and I'll take…Gianna?"

"You stupid little girl," Victoria eyed her with disgust and Blair frowned. She took a menacing step forward while Blair staggered back on her ridiculously high heels. "I'm about to fucking rip your little…"

"No," Blair shouted back as a sudden fury swelled inside of her. Victoria fell silent, raising a brow challengingly while the room began to hum with muted chatter.

"You're not going to rip my little anything," Blair continued, giving Victoria an equally murderous glower. "I have had enough of you, you crazy dumb bitch, and your dead biker boyfriend _and_your creepy ass henchman, Marc. You are a fucking lunatic!"

Victoria snarled at the mention of James. Her eyes went crazed. "You!"

"_You_are not going to make any more threats around here," Blair shrieked, fully aware that she was getting hysterical. Having to face death constantly tended to do that to a person.

She didn't care if Victoria was getting more pissed or that she would likely die a painful death. This madwoman had gotten on her nerves for the last time and if she was going to die this crazy bitch was going to feel her venomous tongue.

"If you had tried to kill Edward, I would've understood, hell I would have probably helped you considering the shit year he put me through."

Yes, Blair's sense of survival along with her brain had checked out for the evening. No, she didn't care one bit. In her fury she did not notice how eerily silent Victoria had gotten.

"_He's_the one who killed your boyfriend!" She continued. "But no, _everybody_has to come after me!"

"You, James," Blair complained, lost in her own misery. "These motherfuckers" She waved her hand in the general direction of the Volturi surrounding them.

Halfway through her spiel she noticed Victoria had become surprisingly inert.

_WTF is this bitch mocking me?_"Fine, just sit there and take it," Blair snarled at Victoria, expecting her to break her eerie silence. She was nowhere near prepared for what happened next.

In a blink, Victoria was sitting Indian style on the crackled marble floor looking none the wiser. They both stared at each other from their unlevel position, blinking in shared bafflement.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," she muttered the same time Aro and his vampires clouded around her. Aro loomed at her side, purring to himself like a satisfied kitten.

"Like an obedient puppy." He tossed that comment out to her rather smugly while Blair let the weight of what had transpired settle over her.

_"That day at the park, how did you get me to stop?"_

Could it be possible? _If it's not, then how is this happening right now?_

Why else would Aro tell her she was powerful? Why else would Marc have backed off of her? _Why else is Victoria sitting on the floor like she was in time out right now?_

If she wasn't the one controlling this, then who?

Victoria's mouth popped open loudly and she could tell that there were so many things she was struggling to say but couldn't. She just kept staring at her with confusion and fear. The fear unnerved her more than her threats, because that terror was directed at her. How could Blair terrify Victoria?

_How is this happening?_

"Very good." Aro clapped loudly and then Jane and Aro materialized menacingly in front of Blair. They immediately hunched down and grabbed a yet stunned Victoria by her elbows, hoisting her up like a limp crash dummy.

Her expression burned into Blair's brain because she never altered it. She looked possessed by fear and at the same time absolutely stunned, as the evil duo dragged her away until the only sound was a door shutting.

"Well done, _bella,_" He put his hand on her shoulder and she flinched. "Don't worry, that nuisance will be disposed of."

Everything condensed quickly after that. Heads were disrobed and probing stares morphed into vague looks of approval. Five vampires surrounded her in the room, the dark shrouded figures stepped forward revealing two beautiful women with snow white hair and ruby eyes, and a young man with ink black hair. His features reminded Blair of Edward, a clash of harsh lines and a softness compromising into beauty. He looked bored, also much like Edward. Marcus stepped in front of her, looking at the spot Victoria had knelt as if a manuscript was written there.

"Wonderful isn't it?" Aro's ghostly breath grazed her cheek, making her thoughts leap.

"She has a gift," Marcus agreed, reluctantly, though he didn't look from the spot. "You were right."

Aro cackled gleefully. "Brother, don't be such a sore loser, as the Americans say."

"But." Marcus finally looked at her, "Can she control it?"

Aro stared at her expectantly and Blair realized that the room was waiting. She shook her head stiffly. "I just found out I had an 'it' to control."

Her words were terse but they were laced with amazement and wonder. Victoria was long forgotten and if were up to her, she would be basking in her powers for hours, throwing on a sexy leather costume and playing a rather sinister version of Simon Says.

Whatever "it" is, she had it and she was starting to feel it pulsing through her hands like liquid electricity and vibrating somewhere in the back of her through like muscle she'd just discovered. Or perhaps these feeling were only a placebo brought on by fear and shock.

That evasive X-factor was finally solved. She realized it was missing all along. There were so many memories that didn't add up, so many conversations that didn't follow the proper course that had always nagged at her silently.

She could control vampires? Yes, she could. She was strong. She was powerful. She was…

"She needs to die, brother." Marcus's words were a ratchet to her thoughts. "As are the rules, she has seen and knows too much."

"She is the Cullen's pet," Aro stated mulishly, interrupting Blair's incoherent sounds of protest. "Our dear friends will not be pleased."

"Then they should have made sure they had their pet fixed long ago."

"Hey!" Blair shouted but one sharp look from Marcus shut her up. She was strong, not stupid. Whatever power she thought she had was likely a card trick compared to these ancient beings.

"They have put us in a foul situation—disregarded our rules and flaunted this human around under our noses. If we make allowances for them we will have to make allowances for everyone tomorrow."

Aro pondered over his brother's words, throwing Blair an apologetic look. "The rules are the rules. Edward has been more than reckless to keep you human as long as he has."

Blair nodded grimly. _Fucking Edward._"I know but…I'm going be a vampire now. I've made up my mind…please!"

Aro's countenance changed abruptly. "Alright. _Mia bella_I have no to wish to end your life so I will give you a choice, an offer than I do not suggest you take lightly." His brother huffed as if disagreeing with him but offered no more. Aro pierced her eyes with his.

"I would not relish taking your life, as you would be paying for the crime of others, for it is indeed others who should be on trial for they have known the rules for centuries. You however are innocent, and though I would not think twice for another human, you have a special talent. It is not a great talent so do not fancy me or anyone here impressed."

Well that was humbling. Blair wondered why he had taken all this time to build her up just to knock her down in the end.

"But it is a talent. You hold it in your feeble hands like an unshaped lump of wet clay. But your human hands are weak; you have not the straight or knowledge of how to shape it. Therefore, I will offer you a kindness. Instead of undeserved death, I offer you eternal life."

Marcus rolled his ruby eyes at Aro's theatrics. "What my long winded brother is saying is that you will not be allowed to leave here alive. Chose us or chose death, and hurry up about it."

Blair's eyes pin ponged between the two of them. She felt like she was having a heart attack. Not now. She wasn't ready. She had to say goodbye. She had to…

"Don't look so upset, child, we are not tossing you to the wolves." A soothing voice spliced her dread. One of the beautiful blondes had been moving her lips and music was coming out.

"You see," the other blonde, chimed. "Volturi venom in your system means we will always we connected—and we will look after you."

"Die now or join us and become powerful. The choice is yours Blair. What will it be?" Aro said, practically tabbing his wristwatch impatiently.

"Now…?" Blair's throat constricted with a mixture of realization and dread.

Though his eyes twinkled with amusement his staid demeanor held no leeway on the matter.

"If you please…" He waved her to come closer and she all out panicked. Her eyes darted around the room. Time for smirking had gone and every face fixed her with a blunt glare of impatience.

Her eyes landed on him pleadingly, her mind searching and grasping for something. All her get out of jail free cards had been used up over the year. "Please…" she whimpered."Will you at least give me time to grow my bangs out?" Her voice lifted imploringly—hoping to at least call to his impeccable sense of fashion, if not kindness.

Suddenly the room erupted with laughter—not cruel laughter either, gales of laughs and merry hoots.

His face split in two, revealing deep set dimples. He turned behind him and nodded at the others, then back to her while shaking his head in astonishment. "Oh, I think we're going to get along very well, Miss Waldorf."

Blair bowed her head low, reminding herself of the great Marie Antoinette bowing her head to the great fury of the masses, and let out a resigned sigh. _So be it._

~x~

"Aro what the fuck is this!" That familiar honey voice echoed through the room

There was a sudden flash of flurry inside the room. It evaporated just as quickly as it began and when the dust had settled she saw Emmett and Jasper, each holding Jane and Alec by their neck, and concentrating heavily, Esme and Rosalie with their heels of their boots poised precariously over the necks of two guard vampires, and Alice and Carlisle, their eyes wide and pleading as they appeared to be attempting to diffuse the situation—and Edward, his face inches from Aro's.

His expression was darker than rancid blood.

Her knight, her vampire, her fiancé, was once again ready to save her ass and all she could feel was inexplicable rage.

Esme ran to her side and shoved her behind her, using her own body as a shield and Blair would have been touched, she really would, but it was all too unreal. Where were these people the past 4 months when she needed them? What were they doing here?

Aro rolled his eyes and appeared unruffled by the skirmish or Edward for that matter. He sighed in exhaustion.

"Edward, we have been friends for a time, and I have known Carlisle there longer than you've been alive, and so I will forgive your insolence as well as your hostile entry. You could have called. I do have a cell phone now, you know."

Marcus sniggered.

Carlisle stepped forward. "Aro, Marcus." He also nodded politely at the blonde female vampires who seemed vaguely bemused and altogether unthreatened by the siege. "Forgive my son's anger and forgive our entry, but this human here is our family. I apologize for keeping her alive as long as we have but my daughter Alice can attest that she will be one of us soon."

Aro smiled slowly and his face lit with cheer. "So nice to see you again, old friend. And Esme, you look lovely as ever."

"Cut the crap," Edward snapped.

"Release my children first," Aro suggested calmly.

Carlisle shook his head. "Unfortunately I cannot. The state Jasper has put them in is the only thing keeping their powers at bay. Let Blair go. She was unaware of our laws."

"You gave up all say in this matter in September when you exposed her to all our secrets and then left her alone." Blair winced when he said this. "I don't expect that level of irresponsibility from you Carlisle," he said, his patience waning.

"I accept whatever punishment you feel is fit." Esme tensed at her mate's words. "But let the girl go."

"Perhaps you misheard me, old friend. _Release my children now._" Aro's eyes darkened into a sickening black, though his expression remained eerily placid.

Blair watched as Carlisle sighed in defeat and waved over at Jasper and Emmett. Jasper breathed out loud as if his burdens had been relieved and the evil duo became animated again. They sprang defensively in front of Aro and sneered evilly.

"I wouldn't try it, Jane. Whatever you give me, I swear Jasper will make this whole room feel it tenfold." Edward spoke quietly; his gaze however remained bored into Aro's face.

Blair did not miss Aro and Marcus share a look of annoyance. Aro nodded at Jane and suddenly Edward crumpled to his knees, releasing a strangled gasp of agony.

"Yes, let's all feel the pain, Jasper," Marcus spoke as everyone tensed as if ready to attack, his voice laced with amusement. "I wonder, do you have to power to exclude dear Blair here."

"Fuck!" Jasper swore just as Edward barely suppressed another groan. The marble crumbled with a sickening sound under his fingers as he dug them into the floor.

Blair's body went rigid as she watched Edward, in what seemed like endless slow motion, hunch over on his knees in pain. That her knees felt loaded with lead and her spine cement had nothing to do with Alec or his powers. She had never _ever_seen Edward in any compromising position of physical vulnerability and the sight of it stung her eyes like pepper spray and burned like injustice.

It wasn't right. It could not stand.

Esme's arms grasped at her and attempted to still her.

How long had she been shrieking at the top of her lungs? How long had she been shaking with tears streaming down her chin?

"Nooo!" Esme pulled her back as she shouted at Aro. The watery image of his stony face never changed as he looked down at Edward like a reluctant father punishing his errant child.

Somehow Blair was strong enough to push through. She battered Esme away and bolted to Aro, crashing into him as he held out his hands to steady her.

"Make her stop!" She stared into his eyes frantically, hoping to channel whatever power she had tapped into earlier.

If he was taken aback, he hid it well as he looked at her with all benevolence and patted her head like a misguided child.

He shifted his gaze to Carlisle. "You have racked up quite the list of grievances against me. It is fitting that you should pay with your first born."

"No!" Esme collapsed on the floor, crying hollow tears as Rosalie and Alice rushed to comfort her. Carlisle closed his eyes in pain.

_Alright!_Blair was officially certain she had just lost her mind. A mad fury swept over her and for a moment she felt as crazier than Victoria, though a small iota of wisdom told her not to direct it at Aro. She turned and to Jane, threw her hands back and slapped her across the face with an open palm so hard she must have broken every bone in her body.

Jane was so wrapped up in her own masochistic glee in torturing Edward that the slap took her by complete surprise. She tottered back and stared back at Blair as if she had never seen her before.

"Stop!" Blair rasped, breathing heavily and clutching her sore hand. Her eyes wild and red, her voice hoarse with tears and screams. "Don't you touch him, you…you…bitch!"

Jane looked flabbergasted. Not even Alec lifted a finger to quell Blair's assault, he was so shocked. Blair watched as her face slowly rearranged itself into wicked ire before she felt she felt the electrifying touch of Edward. For a brief moment she caught a glimpse of his beautiful face no longer twisted in pain and she knew whatever she had tapped into had worked. He was on his feet and he quickly tugged her behind him, shielding her from whatever Jane was about to do to her.

"Enough, Jane," Aro bellowed.

Blair could not see Jane glare at Aro resentfully. "You're going to let her assault me like this?" she whined.

"Ha! _You_dumb bitch." Blair poked her head around Edward's shoulders and stuck her tongue out at her. Even Aro reared his head back in shock. _Yes, I'm insane. And?_

Aro exhaled theatrically and shook his head. He shared a look with his brother who sighed, "This is getting out of hand. If you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than watch this melodrama," before strutting out of the room, the silent blondes swaying behind him.

_Was it something I said?_

Right before exiting the room one of the blondes turned around and wiggled her fingers in the air daintily. "I'm sure we'll be seeing each other quite soon, Blair."

"_Arrivederci_" Blair waved her good hand at her crazily. Again, everyone looked at her strangely. _What?_

"Well, Blair, I cannot say I'm surprised. You have a talent in controlling the _weak_minded." He shot Jane a pointed look and she stared back at him like a wounded beast.

Blair was about to say something taunting to Jane again when Edward turned to her sharply and shot her a pleading look.

_Don't you try to boss me, Edward. I just saved your ass!_

"Carlisle you hurt my feelings today by coming in here like this," Aro suddenly announced which threw Blair into a fit of giggles. More wayward looks.

_Mafia vampire over here is talking about feelings and I'm getting crazy looks? Come on!_

"You threatened a member of my family, Aro. It is not my intention to end our friendship but so be it," Carlisle confessed, his voice somber.

"You abandon friendships like you abandon children," Aro spat. _Ouch!_"Your negligence and disobedience led to a mess for me to clean up."

"I take full responsibility for Victoria…and Blair."

"Pah! Don't do me any favors." Edward looked at her strangely. _Yeah, I said it!_

Aro grinned and said nothing for a moment. Beside her, Blair could see that whatever was going through Aro's mind was getting Edward more and more upset and the two had a silent standoff.

"_Bella_," he addressed her sweetly and Edward growled. "I have suddenly decided to allow you go home with your handlers." _Handlers?_"You will become a vampire, sooner than later for I will not be so forgiving next time. That is, of course, if they can manage to keep you this time. For if they are going to expose you to our secrets and abandon you, I'd rather they do it now, so that I am aware of whatever damages are incurred by their negligence."

He batted his lashed sweetly and Edward rolled his eyes. "Your benevolence is astonishing, as always," he muttered. _Sarcastic douche._Edward sighed at her thoughts and took her injured hand gently. He seemed to notice the ring there tardily and looked down at it for a good while before staring at her with silent question, and then the slightest of smiles. _Oh Edward…_

"And Blair," he added, "Do not feel that just because me and Carlisle have fallen out, that this affects our relationship."

"Your what?" Edward demanded, getting all indignant. Blair shot him a look that clearly said, "Shut the fuck up before you get yourself killed."

"No matter what happens, you are always welcome here." He ignored Edward, because everyone should ignore Edward. Blair could not wait to let him have a piece.

"Thank you," she said graciously and meant it, much to the Cullen's' dismay. "For everything. This has been…illuminating."

Aro bowed his head and smiled at her. "My pleasure, _mia bella,_I do hope you keep me updated on your progress with that little quirk of yours." There was a threat there, even Blair heard it.

"Of course." She nodded, though she had to smile. Little quirk indeed.

"Now get out of my house, the lot of you."

And just like that, the entire nightmarish affair was over.

~x~

"Your hand isn't broken, thank God. It'll just be swollen for a bit." Carlisle announced after checking her hand.

"You're safe now, Blair," Esme cooed and fawned over her.

"That's right B. Aro talks a big game but he knew he couldn't take us all if it was a fight to the death," Emmett boasted.

"Do you really have to say that here?" Carlisle scolded him, shooting a wary eye up at the windows of the palacio.

They were still on the grounds of the impressive estate because Carlisle had immediately sat Blair down upon a bench and gone into doctor mode on her swollen hand.

The sun was high in the sky and bouncing off their skin like sparkling diamonds and if it weren't for the circumstances, Blair would have imagined herself rather content to be enjoying the sun and overlooking the beautiful medieval city. Birds were chirping, fountains were flowing, and she could hear Jasper in the distance trying to make travel arrangements on his cell while Edward stood aloof, looking pensive.

Tired of their fawning, she batted them away and scowled. "May I go home now?"

Esme looked wounded. "Blair, we're just making sure you're okay. You've been though a great ordeal."

"I'm fine," she said, crisply. "I do not need any more vampire handlers, thank you. If I need an undead benefactor I'll call Aro."

She pushed off from the stone bench and trotted away from them. She swung her arms as she walked furiously away from the_palacio_ and began to follow a trail down the hill. She clearly wasn't going to _walk_home but she needed space.

In a flash he was at her side but only silently stalked beside her as she walked, trudging aggressively towards the city.

"Honestly, Edward, were you ever going to tell me?" She asked, irritably.

He felt the briefest wave of relief that it she did not demand the truth out of him. He knew if wouldn't have played out well if she had, not that he could lie to her now. He hesitated.

"Will you leave me if I say no?"

She snorted. "If I planned on leaving you, I would have let Jane have her way with you instead of breaking my hand."

"You didn't have to do that," he said, silently, a part of him refused to find hope in her words.

"Why? Was writhing in pain on the floor your master rescue plan or are you just upset that _I_saved your life for once." She wasn't looking at him. She looked down at the city and tried to downplay the tiniest evil smirk forming on her lips.

Edward knew Aro enough to know that he would have used her powers to turn her against him. He was good at finding the root of a person's insecurities and playing it against them. At the root of their relationship was the huge unbalance between powerful and weak.

Edward didn't need anyone to tell him that he had some sort of complex about Blair's inferiority to him. Perhaps it was his upbringing or something he had picked up along the way. He saw her as weak, fragile, in need of protection. He saw her as his entirely.

Clearly he was evolved enough to realize that it was unacceptable for him to see her that way. He needed to shake it off the way he shook off all the other ideologies of his time period; xenophobia, homophobia, and, as much as he hated to admit to anything that besmirched his parents whom he loved so much, mild racism.

In one way or another, throughout the decades, he had been forced to constantly reexamine himself. Do I hate black people? Am I an anti-Semite? Do I think women are inferior? Luckily for him, he had never been firmly entrenched in anything, save for his belief that God hated him.

He was trying. It was a huge step for him to decide to change her, closing the door on the power divide between them forever.

He also knew that whether he told her or not, once she became a vampire, she would likely be more powerful than anyone in the Volturi combined. He wanted her to need him, always. But Edward also knew that he could not afford to be stuck in his ways where Blair was concerned. He loved her and greatest paradox of his life is that her strength is what drew him to her in the first place.

"No, I meant you didn't have to hit her. Your words would have sufficed." He ignored her allusion to her hand. If she wanted him to treat her like big girl he would treat her like a big girl. Nobody told her to go around bitch slapping evil vampires. _Crazy girl…_

Hey eyes pinned him with astonishment. "So you knew?" He nodded. "How long?"

He measured his words. "It's hard to tell… I suspected but…" He thought of the tape James had left behind and the first time he had felt a force bending his will. It was the argument they had had right before she'd fled Forks with his family. She had somehow gotten him to take her home first to talk to Charlie.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "So has everyone around me been doing what I say because of my powers or…?"

"Or you're just that good at ordering people around and perhaps a bit of both." He spoke evenly. "I don't know, Blair. I know that sometimes there's almost a different presence when you say things and I've felt it a few times. Others have as well."

"And you thought this wouldn't be valuable information to me because?" Blair demanded. She was shouting at him.

He closed his eyes for a moment and just braced himself. "Because, Blair, I wanted to protect you and maybe…"his eyes cast downward so he wouldn't see the disillusionment on her face.

Disappointment rammed into her as she autofilled the rest of his words for him. She thought she couldn't be hurt by Edward more than he already had but no. He was not easy to love at all.

"You lied to me. You _lied! You!_" Blair began shouting at him suddenly. She looked at him with wide eyes as if they were opened for the first time. "You tried to make me believe I was weak and powerless, you!"

He released a loud grown of fury and pushed the distance away from them with such force she yelped. "That's Aro talking. Not you," he hissed, moving his face low to hers and glowering at her. "That's what he's good at, pinpointing people's weaknesses and using it to manipulate them. I know I…"

"Weakness? I'm every bit as powerful _you._Maybe even more._"_Blair narrowed her dark eyes almost evilly at him and Edward sighed miserably. "Admit it; you hate the thought of it, don't you."

"_Jesus, Blair."_Edward didn't have time to resist that one. He couldn't stop it and he said, "Yes, Blair. Is that what you want to hear?"

Her eyes were closed. She was astonished and she opened her eyes and gritted her teeth. She didn't know how much of this she could take.

She felt his hands wrap around her. He suddenly cleaved her to him desperately. "Listen to me, Blair," he rasped against her hair. "Whatever comes out of my mouth means nothing. I love you more than anything. What we have is bigger than this."

"What do we have?" She pushed away from him and stared at him in astonishment. "A relationship built on lies and secrets?" She demanded. "It's not like I have any choice in the matter anymore do I?"

He almost staggered backward. Was she implying that the only reason she would stay with him is because she felt her vampire mandate doomed her to him? He winced and he blinked several times but willed himself to stay silent. After all, he brought this on himself.

"I _have_to become a vampire! You never told me I had no choice!" She continued to lament until he finally chimed in.

"You don't have to spend an eternity with me, if that's what's worrying you?" He informed her in a voice so carefully devoid of emotion, even the Florentine sun seemed to dim above them.

Her expression never altered. "Then what? I spend eternity alone then?" she demanded.

For a moment he was unable to process the misery cascading over him. He sighed forlornly and dutifully informed her that that was hardly possible since he wasn't the only unmated vampire in existence and she was amazing and thereby attracted men to her like bees to honey, while looking on over the city.

He didn't see her roll her eyes but he heard her release a rapid screech in aggravation. He turned to her; she was looking at him as if he was crazy.

"You're giving up just like that!" she shouted at him, eyes blazing. His mouth fell open and attempted to form words. For once in his life he was unable to form syllables. "You leave, Nate, my dad…Everyone just runs away. Am I the only one left on this earth who actually_believes_ in making things work!"

The swirl of confusion in Edward's brain converged into one profound word. "What?"

"I just want to go home and process everything…." Her voice was subdued.

"Blair," Edward began, when he had finally found his voice. "I'm not giving up on us—ever! But I know that I don't deserve you for all I've done. I deserve to suffer and you deserve more..." He hung his head

Blair released a sound of disbelief and rolled her eyes but he pulled her to him.

"You still don't get it," she muttered bitterly but then her voice changed. "I suffer. _I n_eed. I—"

"You don't need me Blair. You have always been stronger than me in one way or another, and very soon you'll see that quite keenly."

Blair pressed her eyes shut in attempt to fight back threatening tears. "And you can only love something weak and precious." She filled in what he couldn't.

Suddenly Blair was in Manhattan. She was sipping coffee with her mother and drilling her about her dating life. This was pre-Cyrus, and her mother only frowned and bitterly imparted Blair with some sobering advice. "Being a successful powerful woman is like waving a double edged sword at groin level—an male deterrent."

Edward seemed at loss for words for a moment. His eyes narrowed as if he were considering his next words carefully. "I know that if I deny that, I don't have a leg to stand on, but I will deny it anyway," his voice was low and measured.

"When saw you in that crowded cafeteria and heard your thoughts that day in Forks, I thought to myself, 'Now there is the fiercest creature I've ever seen.'."

Blair made a mild sound of protest. "And that sure kept you at bay."

Edward frowned. "I kept my distance because I was afraid I would kill you. You know that." He silently begged her to give him _some_credit.

She made a vague sound of acknowledgment without approval and proceeded to drop a bomb on him.

"I'm not strong or fierce, just incredibly stupid." She made a face as if she couldn't stand her own self. "Yesterday I gave up everything, my friends, my family, my whole life and yes, Chuck, I let him go."

"And now you want them back?" Edward asked anxiously.

One of her dark brows lifted almost in challenge. "_No_," She said wondrously. Yesterday seemed like a lifetime away. As if her human world was suddenly no more real to her than the ancient merchants and artists of the city before her. Aro's words suddenly made sense; she had straddled the two worlds for too long.

"No, Edward," she said again, quietly. "Closing that chapter on my life is long overdue."

He didn't know he was actually breathing until it hitched. "And us?" he asked haltingly. "Have I hurt you too much this time? Am I a chapter to be closed as well?"

In response, she flattened her palms on his forearms and pressed her face to his chest, inhaling his spiced scent. _Edward. Edward. Edward…_He was going to make her say it.

"No Edward, I can't do that." Her voice croaked and was muffled against his shirt. "As terrible as you are."

"I swear I'll be better for you," he pleaded. He pulled his arms around her and allowed himself to hope.

Suddenly a car honked followed by a loud Italian expletive. Blair gasped, realizing they were standing in the narrow road, blocking a black limo and its irate driver.

Edward rolled his eyes at the driver and pulled Blair out of the way, so that he could zoom past them like a maniac.

"Humans" Blair huffed in a superior tone and Edward smiled, grateful for the levity.

"Blair?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry," he pulled her into his arms again.

"I know." She closed her eyes and allowed his arms to comfort her.

He closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes." He heard her say against his chest quietly.

_Yes... Yes?_

He pulled her back and stared at her. "Yes?" he asked in disbelief.

She responded by raising up on the tips of her heels and pressing her lips to his.

~X~

Blair and Edward came strolling up the hill a half an hour later to find the miserable driver and his car perched in the courtyard along with the Cullens. Apparently the driver was in on the vampire secret as well.

The Cullens stared them down anxiously for about ten seconds before bursting out into joyful congratulations.

"Wahoo!" Emmett hooted loudly and fist pumped the air. "Did you hear that?" He called to palacio, "Blair and Edward are gettin' hitched!"

Edward and Carlisle hung their heads in shame. Only Emmett McCarthy would antagonize the Volturi after all this.

Esme looked so glad Edward thought she would actually cry real tears. She touched her heart and closed her eyes for a moment before opening them and giving Edward a shaky smile. _We can be a family again._

Edward nodded almost imperceptivity and she gasped with excitement.

The girls buzzed around Blair with questions while Carlisle came and hugged him tightly and whispered in his ear, "Thank God." And that's when Edward knew. Losing Blair, their separation, it had not only been Edward suffering.

He nodded when Carlisle released him and saw the guilt burdening him lift away. He knew a part of Carlisle blamed himself. After all, he was the one who convinced Edward to leave Blair in the first place.

"Congrats little Eddie." Emmett slapped him on the back loudly. "I don't know _how_ you pulled this one off or how you got Blair to take you back but this could only mean one thing: you're handling your business in the bedroom. And I respect that." He smirked wolfishly.

Edward tried to glare at his brother but he couldn't. He was on a delirious cloud.

"The girl's crazy about you alright." Jasper patted his back as well, still shaking his head in disbelief.

"Or just crazy! Blair, I can't believe you went psycho on Jane for_his_ ass," Rosalie exclaimed, clearly not masking her disapproval, only this time it was for Blair's sake. She thought she could do so much better than him and Edward silently agreed. There were no arguments there, but whatever insanity allowed Blair to forgive him and take him back after all this, he hoped she was never cured of it.

Blair only smirked wickedly at her sometimes foe and told her, loudly enough for Jane to probably hear, "Oh it wasn't for Edward. I had been waiting to do that since yesterday."

"Alright now, let's not insult our gracious hosts any more on their front lawn lest they change their minds," Carlisle, ever the voice of reason, reprimanded them all.

"Alright kids, it's been a lovely trip to Italy," Esme practically sang as she pranced towards the limo with purpose. "Now let's go! I can't wait another moment to meet your parents and announce this engagement."

"And don't forget planning!" Alice chimed.

**Footnote: Guys I'm so sorry for the delay. Between my new job—which is awesome and cancelling my…our…engagement—which is terrible, my life has just been nonstop hectic. I'm not abandoning these two though. In fact, I can't get them out of my head. Blair and Edward seem to be demanding that their story be finished and finish it I shall. Life has been…all over the place but I appreciate you support.**

**AN: Aro is extremely deceptive. Everything he says has an underlying motive or outright lie. When he blows off the idea of Blair having powers, he secretly knows that's exactly what she has, but he doesn't want her to know her potential threat to him. He goes out of his way to casualize her ability as a "cheap parlor trick" because he wants her under his control.**

**Feedback= More Cheer. And oh I need it. How was everyone's Christmas?**


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